I don't have time to feel sorry for myself or feel ashamed. I'm still paid to do work here. I put on a fresh uniform and go back to work. I don't know if the man is still here. I don't want to know. I don't want to see him ever again. I don't even want to face Adrian right now.

There are so many feelings running inside of me. Not positive ones, may I add.

I have this weird feeling on my skin, and just weird feeling overall. What Adrian and I did really shook me up. I don't really blame him for that. I was up for it. I agreed to do it. He didn't force me into anything. That's why I'm even more ashamed.

Milena leans against the counter just before we have to serve dinner. "Are you alright, Cassandra?"

"Yes," I assure her quickly. "Why wouldn't I be?" I probably wear a guilty expression.

"It's not my place to ask what happened, but I would hate to see you hurt, Cassie. You're such a sweet girl, you have your whole life ahead of you. You're smart. Don't let a man come in-between your future."

I give her a smile. I put my hand over hers, appreciating how she looks after me. "I won't, Milena. I promise." I can give Adrian anything he wants, but I'm not giving him my future and education, that's what I'm sure of.

Milena rubs my arm, affectionately, giving me a motherly smile. "Let's feed them now."

I'm scared to face Adrian. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I still have some morals left, after all. Adrian is reading news on his tablet, his glasses on, not giving Mrs Welch any attention. Who he gives attention, though, is me when I walk in. He puts the table down and simply stares at me. I look anywhere but at him.

When I try to turn around and leave, he grabs my arm, stopping me. I give him a serious look, not wanting to do this in front of everyone. I think we made enough of a scene in front of someone else before. A remarkable scene that I won't forget soon – if ever. I don't want to be humiliated any more today.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," I grit out, tugging my arm out of his grasp and successfully walking away, my heart pounding in my chest.

I hear Mrs Welch's laugh all the way from the kitchen and it makes my scalp prickle. It's a mean laugh. I don't like it. Everything this woman this, it seems, it's with venom and hatred. She doesn't seem to be enjoying anything. In some context, I actually feel sorry for her. Maybe she just doesn't know how to be happy in her life and that's why she's bitter. Maybe she'll realise one day that this is not how to live a life, it does you no good.

But who am I to judge? I've been miserable half of my life. I shake my head, wrapping my arms around myself and just go through this dinner, being quiet, having my head low and not making eye contact with anyone.

Adrian finds me later, right after dinner when I'm putting the dishes into the dishwasher. He looks delicious in a three-piece suit. It's so unfair.

"Did you eat?" is his first question. I don't know what's his deal with food. He's always so persistent that I eat, always wondering if I did and getting mad if my answer is negative.

"I had a delicious lunch, yes. Thank you."

His eyes narrow, but I turn around, ignoring it. "No dinner?" he wonders.

I have to hold back so I don't roll my eyes, even though he can't really see me. "I don't feel any hunger."

I hear him sigh. "Do you want to tell me what's bothering you, Cassandra?" he asks softly. Patiently.

I still for a second, stopping what I was doing. Dios, why does he always have to be so ... I can't even find a word for it, but he's always trying to come to me when a problem occurs and he wants to solve it. He's always so observative and he isn't a man to ignore a woman whenever she's being in a bad mood because of something that happened he was involved with.

He's a man who will sit down with you, force you to talk it out with him and make it okay. He's literally what every woman dreams of. A whole package.

"What's bothering me shouldn't even bother me because I knew what I was doing. So, I think I have to sort this out by myself."

He's suddenly standing beside me, leaning against the counter with his hips, his arms crossed over his broad chest. He doesn't give me a chance to ignore him any further. "What's bothering you, Cassandra, clearly involves me and that's why I think we should solve this together. Now, tell me."

"What if I don't want to?" I challenge.

Adrian's mouth forms a straight line. He's clearly unhappy with my response. "You have a free will. But I would like, very much if you allow me to say so, that you would tell me what makes you feel uneasy because, believe it or not, I don't want you carrying on solvable problems. I especially don't want you to lose your appetite or sleep for that matter over something we can easily solve."

I gape at him because I can't do anything more than that. This is what I was talking about loving to listen to him talking. He has a way with words, a way of forming sentences that's just so pleasant to listen to and it calls for attention. He knows what to say at any given moment. That's one of his many talents.

"I love listening to you talking," I admit, still in a daze.

Adrian's eyebrows lift a little, amusement doing some dance moves in his eyes. "Pardon?"

I shake my head to gain my posture and the train of thought back again. "Do you want to talk about it here?" Anyone could come in here. Not likely, but it's a possibility.

Adrian shrugs. "Wherever you feel most comfortable at."

Interesante. Because my first thought isn't here, trapped in this house. It would be basically anywhere else but here. I don't feel comfortable in this house, other than in the library and my room. I had a hard time getting becoming comfortable in Adrian's bedroom as well.

"We can talk about it here," I say.

"We can go to my office if you wish."

I shake my head. "No, here is fine. I still have work to do."

"I'm allowing you to take a break and sit down at the table with me," he offers.

I almost snort at the way he words this. This is another thing that's starting to be hard for me. Still working for him. Because, at the end of the day, his name is on my check and the lines of professional behaviour and friendly one are getting blurred day by day. I often forget how to act around him.

I don't know when he's my boss or when he's my lover. I understand this is the same person, but he has a different personality for each and it's hard to be constantly careful about not letting myself slip.

But I can't afford to just not work. I work in good conditions here. It's not bad work, it's not difficult and I actually live here. I don't think many jobs offer you that kind of luxury nowadays. I might've been lucky to get this job in the first place. Or it was fate that let me meet Adrian. I don't know.

"Don't you think I took enough a break long enough today?" I try to joke, desperately trying to find something positive in this situation.

"One would think when your boss says you can take a break, you will take it happily, without further questions."

I give him a smile that's a little sadder than I'd like it to be. "It's hard to differentiate you from being my boss or ... not."

"I'm always your boss," he says.

His words sting a little. "You're not," I reply. At least not to me. I see him as my friend. Someone I'm learning to trust. To willingly give control and power over me.

Adrian puts his hand over mine, skin touching skin. "Let's talk about what's worrying or bothering you. You know you can tell me anything, right?" He stares deep into my eyes, the sincerity and sweetness shining from his dark orbits.

"As a boss?" I wonder out loud.

He turns confused, two lines appearing between his eyes. "Sorry?"

"I can tell you everything as my boss or as my friend, Adrian?"

He only stares at me for some heartbeats. He scratches his chin. "Both, I guess."

I nod. This is the answer I wanted to hear from him. I wipe my hands and go sit down at the table. Adrian joins me. He sits straight, his forearms on the table, his hands intertwined together, giving me a chance and time to speak first. He kind of makes me feel nervous when he looks at me like that, with such intensity and depth.

"Why did you do that? Why did you want me to do that? I didn't know it was in your interest to share me with other people."

Adrian rubs his eyebrow. "It is not in my interest to share you with anyone. I did not share you, technically looking. I would never."

I shrug. "Letting another man watching me get fucked by you seems pretty much like sharing to me. He didn't have to put his hands on me for me to feel shared and, I don't know how to feel about it, Adrian. I never thought I could be in that kind of stuff. I thought sex was personal, only between two people, you know. Private and all that ... Otherwise, I could go and star in a porn and get paid for it so other people watch."

Adrian visibly shudders at my last words. "No," he says sharply, his face turning a little bit pale. "This is not, by any means, the same, Cassandra. It's my mistake for not discussing this with you beforehand or even asking you about this. I understand you don't have much experience with sex, but I tend to forget about it sometimes and you should feel free to remind me of that. You can have a free will to say no to me if you happen to not like or enjoy anything I'm doing, even in the middle of the ... act. I would never, ever force you to do something you would not be comfortable doing."

"Well, I wasn't comfortable doing ... that!"

Adrian shakes his head. "You got aroused and I misunderstood the situation, it seems. I might have misread you, but, Cassandra, you have to voice your thoughts. Don't be afraid to say what you think. It's important you're not afraid to communicate with me, especially when we're intimate. I don't want to cross your limits."

"I know, Adrian, I don't fully blame you. I'm an adult, I fully knew what was going on. I just tend to forget about things when I'm with you. I get fully consumed by you and all my reasonable thoughts seem to leave my mind."

Adrian's eyes get soft at my admission. Tender. He cups my face with his hands, framing it. "I feel the same way when it comes to you, Cassandra."

Dudo que. I doubt that, somehow. He doesn't look like a man who would be easily thrown off guard, especially not because of a woman. He's always calm and collected, rarely showing many emotions. He's hard to read, but I'm learning to read him now and I'm grateful for any emotion I get to see on his face.

"Can we at least agree not to do that anymore? I don't think I like being watched when ... you know."

"Of course. I understand. You just have to voice it, Cassandra. I can not read your thoughts, no matter how much I would like to do that sometimes."

I look at him in surprise. "Likewise, Adrian. Although, I think I'm way easier to read than you. You're a closed book."

Adrian gives a smile. "Not with you, Cassandra, darling. Besides, you know you can always ask me about anything. I think you are still too afraid of something, I just wish you could see you don't have to fear me."

"That's not the same as you willingly sharing things about you."

"You don't do that with me, either."

He has a point there. But that's only because I don't think he would actually care about my boring life. He has the world at his feet while I'm still struggling to find my place in it.

"By the way, I heard from your gynaecologist. We'll go to her ordination tomorrow, most likely. I'll have to call her to confirm it."

I forgot all about that. But now that he mentioned it, I get kind of scared. Because I'm hiding something he doesn't know about. And whatever we have, might be put on a test. Or it might end. And I'm afraid of that.

"Okay," I say. Although it's anything but okay, even though I brought this on myself.