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gone away

I pressed my Ipod on play and leaned my head against the window of the car, waiting to  drive myself to my dad's funeral.

He had been sick for a long time now because of heart failure. He had four bypasses already and he had been admitted to hospital too many times to count because of his chest pains.

I had never thought I'd be here right now. Drowning in the pain of this loss. I never gave it much thought - I mean who did? We always thought about bad things happening but we were never prepared when it actually happened. I sucked in a deep breath and turned the key into the ignition.

"It's so loud inside my head with words that I should have said. And as I drown in my regrets, I can't take back the words I never said." Skylar Grey sang in my ears.

I sat down between Liam and my mom in the front row. The pastor spoke on for hours about all my dad's achievements and what he did in his life. I felt a pierce in my chest as I was asked to stand up and put a flower on his coffin. Why did I have to say goodbye?

Many people came and gave their condolences. I tried to keep it in. I tried to be strong. Liam pulled me to him when I got to my car. I cried into his shoulder.

"It's okay. I'm here for you."

"Hayley?" Emma placed her hand on me.

"Hey Emma." I let go of Liam.

"I met Leah..." I snatched in a breath. "And she's lovely. I saw the way you looked at her when she sang that song for your dad. I've always wanted someone to look at me like that. I know you love her. I can't take her place."

"Emma I'm so..." I began but she stopped me.

"You don't have to explain. Really. I get it. I'm so glad to just be a part of your life and get to know you. I'll still be here for you if you need me."

"I..I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you understanding."

She laughed. "No, thank you. You have taught me so much since I met you and have changed my life. I loved spending time with you. Don't worry about me, I'll find someone that loves me like you love each other."

I hugged her tight. I really didn't deserve this girl. She was one of a kind.

"Go get your happy ending." She smiled that brilliant smile again.

And I did.

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