Ryan and James came over for supper. Emma really got along with Ryan just as I had guessed.  He was a bit skeptical of the fact that I was still hopelessly in love with Leah, but Emma made me happy. I had to give her chance to make me smile again.

"So then I fell down the stairs and landed on top of the birthday cake!"

We laughed and I smiled fondly at Emma. 

"That's a really funny story." Ryan said, sipping his wine. "I remember when missy over here slipped into the pool with her costume on. It was Halloween and she had gone as a ghost. Not a pretty sight!"

I scoffed playfully. "It's not funny! I was wearing my Hello Kitty underwear and everyone saw! It was so embarrassing."

"That's so cute though.  Would love to have seen that." Emma winked.

I blushed and Ryan gave me that look. He loved teasing me and I enjoyed his company. I really missed him.  I asked him how was rugby and he told us about it. We ate some more, listening to the sound of our voices mix together in happiness.

Afterwards I went to do the dishes. Emma came up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"You have lovely friends."

"Yeah. Ryan is funny right? I knew you'd like him."

"I wish I could be sure of you."

I frowned and moved my head to look at her.  "What do you mean?"

"You like me. I know.  But you're still hung up on Leah. I want to take our relationship to the next level but I can't if I don't know where I stand with you."

I wiped my hands. Moving to face her, I placed my hands on her neck.

"I do like you. A lot. I'm not going anywhere." I kissed her softly. "Let's just see where this goes."

She kissed me back and I threaded my fingers in her hair. There was something missing I'd tell you that. I missed the smell of vanilla and spices. I missed the softness of the caramel  locks dipped in brown and I missed the taste of her breath in my mouth. Her.

I pressed harder. The memories swirling so fast and I tried to push them away. Her. Leah. I was kissing Emma. Emma! I picked her up and put her on the cabinet, holding onto her so tightly that I thought I might break my hands. I had to show her that I was going to give her a chance. I had to prove that what I felt was real. Cause Leah was gone...

But was she really gone from my heart?