I sat in front of her, my heart pounding as she sipped her cinnamon coffee drink or whatever and her lips curled over the cup.

How can one women look so good drinking something?

It reminded me of that red red apple that Leah ate that time. How I was so tempted by her...and how I was so painfully tempted to lean over and lick Emma's lips from across the table and taste that bittersweet cinnamon...

What the --- I really needed some self control,  she was my colleague or better yet I was her freaking boss!

"So what do you do?" I asked, in a daze from scolding myself again.

"Pardon?" She smiled. "What do you mean?"

I gulped and mentally hit myself on the head. What had I just said?

"I mean...what work did you do before this?"

"Well I was in advertising for a while. Marketing books and magazines for the Lifestyle devision at Penguin Publishing and..."

"Penguin Publishing! That's amazing! That's huge! Why did you give that up?" I blurted, not hiding my surprise.

Her cheeks stained pink as I spoke and my lips turned up in a smirk. She replied,

"Well I wasn't really happy with the place. I wanted something smaller. It was too big for me. I like your business. It's petite for a little girl like me, just right."

She was petite. Slim. She had just the right body shape. Not an overly big bust with narrow hips and long legs despite her dainty figure. Beautiful in other words.

I licked my own lips as I took a sip of my coffee.

"Yes. Just the right choice for you it seems. Glad to have you."

"And you?" She asked, questioning me off guard.

"What?"

"What did you do before you created Shadow Publishing?"

"Oh." I said. "I...I did my BA in English. I taught for a few years at underprivileged schools and then my love for writing gave me an idea to start my own publishing business. I guess that's it. I just really love writing..." I moved my eyes away to the sun glowing on the buildings around us, memorising the feeling of writing -- that joy.

"What do you write about?"

I blinked at her for a second and tried to compute what she had said. What did I write about...?

"Um...life. love." I gazed deeply into her dark eyes and found myself getting lost in them. "I don't know." I looked down, blushing just like she had done.

"You should show me sometime." She smiled again so warmly that I thought my heart would break.

"Yes." I whispered softly.

Before I could catch up to the whirlwind of this creature in front of me I had discovered I was already gone.

I was gone. 

***

"You and this Emma girl?" James drawled abruptly as I sank down in  my desk when he brought me my coffee.

"What do you mean?" I played it off. 

James laughed. "You're into her!"

"'m not!"

"keep telling yourself that, girl. You and I both know there's sparks there."

I scoffed. "She's not even gay."

"That's what they all say."

I rolled my eyes and took my cup in my hand to drink it. Another coffee this morning, Hayley, I said to myself.  Looks like I needed it. 

"Just do yourself one thing." James said before he left. "Try with her. Maybe you'll find happiness again?"

I sighed.

Two weeks was all it took.

Two weeks for me to do what I had been playing over in my mind when I was awake in the middle of the night.

Two weeks for me to throw it all away -- all doubts and guilt -- and capture  Emma's beautiful lips with my own.