29th of November 2006

I woke up and I realized it wasn't my room. I looked around and the I heard someone walking. The door opened and there was Matt. "Matt?"I asked him and he nodded. "What am I doing here? I can't remember anything." I said. "I know. You fainted. I carried you all the way here."He said. "Oh. So you're not mad at me?"I asked him. What the f -ingare you saying of course he's mad at you!!! My mind said.

"No. I'm angry at you, so you're my new toy."He said. "What'd you mean?"I asked him fear making goosebumps on my skin. "Well, I am gonna take a small amount of blood every time and I'm gonna rape you a couple times. No worries."He said.

"You're gonna b-bite me and r-rape me?"I asked him shaking. "I already had some food so I'm not hungry but I'm kind of turned on."He said and he leaned in to kiss me but that's when I heard a door open and Matt backed away.

"Matt?"Asked a female voice and I looked at her. She looked a bit old not like a grandma though. "Mom?"Matt asked. Ohh, so this was his Mom... "What are you doing to thet innocent girl?" She asked Matt and got me out of the bed. She hugged me.

"Innocent? Innocent!?! She killed Ed!!!"He screamed. Oh oh. I don't wanna go to f-ing prison. "Killed? Matt, what are you talking about?"She asked him. "That girl kill Ed Mom!!! Why do you think that Ed's not here?"He screamed.

Ok, so now I know that I hate Matt. Or he does that because he's a vampire. But, that wouldn't be logic because Ed is sweet. Or, Ed is the only sweet vampire. Ugh, I'm such a talkie.

"Look I-I..."I stuttered. I honestly didn't know what to say.

"It's my fault!!!"I screamed and fell to the floor. I got curled up in a ball and started crying. "My...Fault."I said. "What do you mean?"Eds' mother shockingly asked me and I could hear fear in her voice. She was her son after all.

"I shouldn't have invited him..."I whispered loud enough for them to hear. "You killed E-Ed?"She asked me shaking. "No, but it's my fault."I said again.

"Will you fucking shut up!?!"Matt screamed at me. I fantasised that his Mom would be angry about what Matt just said but I didn't want to unburry my bead from my hands. I was scared. Terrified.

He could kill me in a second and then kill his own Mom for what she just saw. His own mother. I can't believe that vampires would be that bad.

I just wish that Ed was with me. I wish we were in the woods lying down and talking looking into each others eyes... It was mesmerising. His eyes were beautiful. Blue, a sea and sky color combined making the shadow of the water within it's beauty... (Ok, so now I'm Shakespeare).

I just wanted to see him again smiling. I know him for such a small amount of time but I want him. And I admit that I do feel something strong for him. It could even be love. Or maybe I'm just overreacting. I do miss him though. And it's still my fault he's dead. I'll keep saying that until I die. No worries people. I'll annoy you with my love. My emotions.

I just wish people would have more of a soul. Most people care about money, fame, sometimes even s. I ain't saying the word if it's in my thoughts. They want all these while other people are starving, living in wars while I am heart dead by the death of a boy who I call the boy. The boy named Ed.

I've heard about love and all that 'I'll die for you' stuff, but I never knew that they would happen to me.

It did happen though and I'm surprised by it. I wish there was a way I could start my life all over again and try to change what happened. I wish I stopped Dad from making Mother getting him alcohol, I wish I stopped Caitlin from getting the Suffolk tickets. But most of all...

I wish I stopped the moment I was born.

Sorry for the small chapter people!!! It was so small that I tried to expend it with her thoughts and lookey, it is half of the chapter. Jeez-Neez, I'm good at writing thoughts. I'm Shakespeare!!! JK.
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Eliza15243 xxx