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34. | Tough

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J a c k

"You sure you're going to be fine?" I asked Liz as she got down from my car pulled up in front of her house.

She smiled, nodding her head.

"You know, I have been in my house alone before, right?" She chuckled.

"I know." I replied sarcastically. "I just.. I'm looking out for you."

"And I appreciate that." She leaned in closer to me. "But really, I'm okay."

My hand went over to feel her cheek. God her skin was so soft. I found her tempting. I wasn't every inch of her against my own. I've never get this way about a girl before. The need to keep her safe. Even though she claims she will one day be able to protect herself, and though that is bound to happen... I will still, always and forever feel the need to watch over to her. To protect her. That'll never change.. Even if she ends up beating up more guys than me.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" I asked again.

"Jack..." She chuckled, going down to reach in between her legs and pull out her bag from the car floor. She sat back up and looked at me, bag gripped in her hand already. "Really, everything is going to be fine. Besides, you have that thing with your sisters tomorrow."

Oh.. I almost forgot.

My sisters have been on top of me lately, constantly calling and texting, trying to arrange a way to meet up with them again. I love them, they're my sisters and everything, but lately they've been up in my game. Which is exactly why I finally agreed to their idea of a Sunday brunch. How girly is that?

But they're my sisters and I love them, and they want to spend time with me. This might even be a pretty good idea because they could now probably help me find a date idea for Liz and I to which I totally have no idea on. They're girls, they will definitely know.

"They can wait." I replied.

Liz tilted her head. Eyebrows arched. "No they can't... And you are not going to keep them waiting any longer. Go, have fun.." She playfully punched me.

Smiling, I grabbed her arm just as she was about to pull back from her punch. Her lips crashed into mine in a passionate kiss to which I wished could last the whole night.

Liz pulled away but remained close with our foreheads meeting. Her lashes battered against the top of my cheeks. I immediately saw her lips pull into a small smile.

"Thanks again for the ride home." She softly spoke.

"Pleasure is all mine." I smiled back.

I watched her place her recently collected bag over her shoulder. Her hand grabbed the door handle stepped down. Before she shut the good she told me to take care and blew another kiss.

I watched from my car as she walked up the steps of her house. Once she was home safe and sound and I had looked around the premises that the coast was clear, I began to drive.

The night was extremely dark, not a single light from the sky tonight. It was full of dark clouds above us. The road was slippery from the rainfall that hit almost right before we left the warehouse. Almost no single car in the street around here.

My music was playing low in my car as I drove out of Liz's neighborhood. I was now in her small town.. A place filled with stuff you'd find in the city only with less people and less buildings. It was almost 1am. There was almost no one around.

I began to drive down the road to when I saw a person walking down the street. They caught my attention because the entire place was quiet and empty... And this person looked like a girl? A young girl.

As I drove up closer to where the girl was walking towards the opposite side of my direction, I noticed a familiar face behind the hoodie she wore. The deep blue eyes were a dead ringer, only the type of eyes I knew one family and one family only, had.

I immediately hit the breaks. 

The girl turned around, shocked. I pulled down my window and continued driving slowly in reverse to stay besides her.

"Mandy?" I asked. "Is that you?"

She turned around. Once she noticed it was me though, she turned her head back and began to walk her way. I couldn't leave her like this..

"Mandy what are you doing walking alone at night?" I asked. "Your house is the other way?"

"I'm not going home, Jack." She shook her head, ignoring any eye contact with me.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"None of your business." She scoffed.

As soon as she said that, my foot hit the break again. I set my car on park and turned it off before hopping off it myself. Amanda was still walking but I caught up to her in no time.

"Hey.." My hand met her shoulder, immediately igniting a warning reaction from her. She turned around, deep blue eyes looking into mine as she too another step back into the dim light from the pole stand above her.

Instantly, my mouth dropped. She had a dark bruise  besides the left side of her face. Tears wanting to break away from her eyes.

Having sisters myself and knowing that this was the girl I love's little sister, tore me into pieces.

"Who did this to you?" I asked, sternly taking my ground.

"I told you to stay out of it.." She pinned her eyes.

Amanda tried to go back to walking but I only stopped her, again.

"Amanda, this is serious. Did a guy do this to you?" I kept asking. "Lemme See." I grabbed her by both shoulders now, trying to get a better look at her bruise before she moved away from me.

With a pissed off look in her face, she began to scoff again. "Stop it!" She exclaimed. "Stop pretending as if you care. You don't. I know what you're trying to do here."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "And what do you think is that?"

"Please, the big guy protecting his girlfriend's sister...  For a girl like Elizabeth that would get her into bed with you in a matter of seconds!" She almost growled. "You know... Just because you are dating my sister, doesn't mean you have to be nice to me."

My eyes closed, completely appalled by her predictions. "Okay.. No.." I shook my head. "That is not at all what is going on here."

She hid her face, trying hard for me not to see her. In a matter of seconds I knew the reason why. The tears she was trying so hard to fight back began weeping out of her.

"Hey.." I took another step closer. Seeing Mandy like this, it tore my heart. The girl is only 15 years old. W-Why is this happening to her?

Turning her around, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a hug because that was the only thing I found possible at the moment. I didn't know what to say... What to do? But for the moment, I just knew she needed someone.

She continued to cry into my shoulder, cries that felt that were acing to come out for months. She's not a crier, Amanda. No, she's a tough one. I've noticed that in her from the moment I saw her.

The crowd continued to calm down as I heard her sniffing. Her head gently pulled away from my chest, eyes staring back into mine as she dried her own tears.

"Why?" Her voice was shaky. "Why be nice to me?"

"What kind of question is that?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I'm Elizabeth's grudge little sister." She shook her head. "No one is nice to me?"

"You gotta stop calling yourself Elizabeth's little sister as if that was the only thing you are..?" I explained.

Amanda's eyes became shunned. I guess that was something she never heard before?

Looking around, I noticed a small bench. There was obviously a lot she needed to let out, and I needed to get to the bottom of who on earth did this to her! We were going to talk.

"Here.." I guided her over to the bench. Once Amanda took a seat I walked over to my parked car, scavenging for some material.

"What are you doing?" She asked me.

I grab the small rag and bottle of water I had laying in my car. Shutting the door, I began to walk up to her. The water falling over the rag to wet it. I took a seat besides her. Amanda nervously looked down at her lap.

"Let me help you." I asked. "Please."

Her head tilted up to look at me. An unsure look filled her stare. Her ocean blue eyes glanced from my hands back to my eyes. If I was judging correctly, a guy did this to her and the contact of another isn't exactly what she really needs.

"I'm calling Liz." I began to dig out for my phone when suddenly she stopped me.

"No!" She exclaimed. "No, please. You can't call my sister."

"Mandy, you're hurt! Walking alone in the rain.." I paused. "Your sister needs to know."

"Please, Jack... I was just beginning to tolerate you as a person. Don't make me regret my image of you." She looked down.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why are you like this? I'm trying to help you...?"

"You wanna help me?" She stood up.

"Go away. Leave me alone.. That's what everyone does." She sighed.

"I'm not leaving." I stood up in front of her. "And how could you say that? That everyone leaves you?"

"Because it's true." She raised her voice.

"Mandy.." I gripped my hair, trying hard to calm myself down because this.. This was crazy talk. "How could you possibly say that? Your mom and sister care so much about you!"

"It's all an act. Elizabeth doesn't care." She retorted.

"Lies." I shook my head. "I for one, know exactly how much she cares." Elizabeth is learning to fight for crying out loud.. To not only protect herself, but to protect her family. Her little sister is always on her mind. After we've had crazy nights and she can't come home... She thinks about Mandy. When she can't go out and do something... It's because she wants to look out for Mandy.. Mandy. Mandy. Mandy.

"How can that be?" She asked. "I treat her like crap?"

Well there's a statement I couldn't comment on.

"Elizabeth sees past all that." I shrugged. "She saw me for me even though I acted like a total jerk at first."

Her big blue eye glanced at me for another moment before a soft smile appeared in her lips.

Noticing her reaction, I made space for her to take her seat again. Sighing, she sat besides me and waited for me to speak.

"She cares about you, Mandy." I explained. "She just might not always show it in the best way because... Well... She blames herself—for what happened.."

"You mean with my dad?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

I nodded my head.

"Why would she do that? It wasn't her fault?" She shook her head.

I only shrugged. "That's just the way she feels." My hand reached out to her. My one palm fisting over her two tiny ones. "She also blames herself for losing the connection between you two. From the sound of it, you guys were pretty close."

Maybe I was getting somewhere with this. Maybe I wasn't. Whatever it was, Amanda needed the talk. And everyone else in her house hold is still mourning the loss their beloved father that they rather not face the subject. This is defiantly not my place, but seeing Amanda reminded me so much of myself and if I do know something, is how to feel alone.

Amanda looked up and softly smiled. Shaking head head she then began to dry away some more tears.

"You don't have to do this.. You probably have other things to do.. You don't have to stay here and talk with me." A small frown began to form upon her lips.

I looked at her and immediately saw the pain in her eyes. It was unbelievable. Looking at this young here only reminded me of my own 16 year old self. Lost.. Hurt...

I didn't have anyone to step up to the plate. I don't blame her family for not doing so because she keeps her feelings hidden... Just like me. With their work schedules, they barely even see each other. She feels alone and I get that. So no, I am not leaving Amanda's side. She needs the one thing I didn't have... The one thing that lead me to mess into the wrong crowds. She needs a friend.

"I get it..." I continued to speak. "I'm not big on sharing my feelings either." I paused to look at her. "For the longest time, the people around me.. My friends.. They respected that. But then, a girl came along and refused to let me keep it all bottled inside. And you know what, listening to that maniac made me feel a whole lot better."

"The maniac is my sister isn't it?" She looked back at me, smiling with the word I purposely used to represent her sister. Just the reaction I wanted.

"Believe it or not, it does help, Mandy." I nodded. "You and I.. We're almost the same person. Couple of years ago I was right on in your shoes. I can relate to you in a way."

"How?" She sniffed again. "I'm sure your life is perfect." She shrugged. "Perfect face, perfect car, perfect girl."

"I'm not perfect, Mandy." I chuckled. "My life may seem like it is, but truly, it's horrible. Full of lies.. Having to go to bed on certain days— not knowing whether or not you'd wake up the next... There are choices made for me in my life that I don't want to deal with.. Not anymore." I looked down. "But when I was your age, I was just like you Amanda."

Her eyes looked at me, waiting to hear what I'd have to say next.

"I was quiet. The sibling everyone else felt sorry for because I looked so sad compared to my sisters."

"You have sisters?" She asked.

"Two older ones, yes." My eyes widened.

"Oh God..." She chuckled. "Imagine having two Elizabeth's around."

"But now you see.." I explained. "I was just like you."

"Did you lose a parent?" She asked.

I nodded. "I lost my dad too, but not in the way you did yours. He divorced my mom.. Left the next day and haven't seen him since... I was only 12 years old."

"Almost around the age I was when I lost my dad." She looked down again, fighting back more tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." He shook his head. "My parents aren't necessarily Parents of the Year in my book. Nothing like how Tori is with you girls, which is probably one of the few things I can't relate with you."

"So tell me..?" I continued. "What changed between you guys?"

Mandy chuckled, nodding her head as she built up the courage to finally speak.

"We were the closest two sisters could be..." She looked down. Her eyes suddenly becoming filled with tears—unable to break out for she didn't allow herself to... At least not now.

"I... I never knew she felt guilty.." She furrowed her eyebrows, looking out in front of her. Seconds after, she turned to me. "I mean, I know that we drifted apart.. But I thought she didn't want me around? After my father passed, I completely changed. We all did, but... I didn't have many friends growing up.." She paused. "I couldn't relate to any of the other kids in my age group.. My parents always said I was pretty mature for my age which probably explained why Liz and I were so close even though we were a couple of years apart."

Her hands went over to her face, wiping away any of the tears that trailed down her cheek.  "My dad was my best friend. He understood me perfectly, even better than Liz or even my mom. We always took sides and—Dad was always on mine." The small smile that grew on her face began to drift as she reached the much dreaded part of her story. "Once he was gone... I mean... How can you deal with that? It wasn't fair... My father was a good man..." She paused. "I thought about it for the longest time after he passed... Why bad things happen to good people...?"

I didn't allow her to finish for I already saw the next part of the story playing out before me. This girl went through exactly what I went through.. Exactly!

"So you began to act bad... So bad things wouldn't happen to you." I nodded.

Mandy looked out in front of her again. She held a straight face for a good five seconds before...

"It's stupid, I know." She cried, shaking her head in the palms of her hands.

I sat there, heartbroken, as she sobbed what seemed to be the first time in years. Not knowing what to do, or what to say, I just rubbed her shoulder—patiently waiting for her to let it all out.

My mind flashed back to the moment in my life when this was me. The picture was so clear in my mind, it was as if a horror movie was replaying itself. I too, needed to let it out. Seeing that she wasn't alone might help her not feel like crap because I know that feeling. That's a feeling no one should go through, especially not at that age.

"After my father left," I continued. "I was the only male in the house." I began to speak, hoping my story could make her see that it wasn't stupid what she did.

"I was also the youngest. Around the time that happened, I was about 12.. And at that age, the impossible is still possible. I wasn't thinking straight.. I couldn't. No one was talking so I had to talk for myself." I shrugged.

Mandy's sobs dimmed, head sparking with interest in my story.

"With my father gone, I believed that I was now the man of the house; as if I was the next in line for the thrown or something." I chuckled, even got a reaction from Mandy.

"The first thing that came to mind was, I had to be tough. With three women in the house, I believed this had to be the biggest job of them all." My expression changed into a bit of a shameful expression. "Growing up, my version of tough was tattoos, beer, fights. That's the kind of stuff I watched growing up from my father. So that's eventually what I got into..." I sighed, eyes looking down to my hands between my legs.

"So no, Mandy, it's not stupid... In my eyes, you were doing what you thought would be best for your family.. To not see you sad.. To toughen up, not be the sad little girl who lost her dad."

Amanda looked back. Her eyes were still watery. Nose and cheeks a bright shade of pink upon her fair skin. Every word I said was somewhat making a difference inside her. I noticed it in the way her eyes looked at me— the way other people see the Bible, persay.

She sniffed softly before her eyes fluttered closed.

"I didn't think anyone would ever understand.." She pouted, eyebrows furrowed. "I was sick of the condolences. People who never talked to me... Who probably never even liked me... They put on a show, and faked their concern for us... I hated that." She explained. I could hear the anger in her tone. "Showing that I didn't care made people stay away. They believed I was finally okay, so they never found the chance to bring up their act."

My head nodded, understanding completely.

"Anyways... I didn't think Liz wanted me around anymore, being that she was always so sweet and bubbly." She emphasized. "Besides.. We were growing up. She'd hang out with her friends and well... I didn't want to feel like an intrusion."

"I think.." I continued. "You should talk to your sister... There's obviously still some unresolved issues that need some sorting out."

Amanda's eyes wandered over to her hands again. Crazy how both her and her sister share some of the exact qualities. Always looking down when they feel guilty of something.

"Have you ever talked to your sisters again?" She asked me.

I only looked back at her and smiled. A small nod to my head confirmed it all. "Thanks to The Maniac.." I joked. "I build up enough courage... And honestly, it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made."

One of the other best decisions I've made was chasing after Elizabeth. She made it a challenge, one that exhausted me at times. But I take a look back and see how much she's impacted my life and honestly, she was worth it.

Amanda nodded her head, understand where I was coming from. In all honesty, I believe she understood where I was trying to go. And there were no signs of her just nodding and agreeing for the heck of it.

I can't speak for Liz, but knowing the little she already knows... That her sister is worried and loves her... I think that sparked something in her that hasn't been lit up for a while. That was just the kind of push I was trying to get to her.

But... Now that I ignited her trust with me... I had to get down to the real question of tonight...

"Now.." I continued. "I need you to tell me what happened to you tonight?"

Amanda looked down. This was just the question she was trying to avoid. Her lips were sealed. Nothing was coming out.

"Amanda, please." I begged her. "I want to help."

Still, she mentioned nothing for the subject was quite sensitive.

"Was it a guy?" I built up the courage to ask.

I've dreading this question before. How could guys still do that? Do they have no respect for women? For crying out loud we are all here because of a woman. Yet they have the dignity to abuse of one? It's just not right.

With the silence in Amanda, and the sudden terrified look in her face, it seemed as if my question had been answered.

A long sigh fell from my mouth. My head turned around to look at my nervous leg, tapping uncontrollably to just the thought of a man hitting her. I tried to control myself. Slowly inhaling to only release it all out.

"Mandy, I can't help you if you don't talk to me." I continued.

"The damage is done, Jack.." She shook her head. "It won't happen again." Her head turned to me. "I promise."

"And how could you be sure of that?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

I noticed her swallow the huge lump down her nervous throat. She looked away for a second and release a big breath of air.

"He was just a guy..." She finally released. "I-I thought he liked me."

"I knew it." I angrily looked down. I found the urge to stand up in front of her, pace around as I tried to control my anxious body. The adrenaline was coursing through my veins. I was ready to jump a bitch.

"Jack, really... I'm fine." She remained seated, eyes unable to look at me. "It's just a guy thing..."

"No, it's not just a guy thing." I walked up to her. My jaw clenched. Fist balled up besides me. "Guys don't just go around hitting women, okay? Assholes do!"

I soon began to notice her eyes widen in fear. Maybe I wasn't making things better this way. I stopped myself and took a deep breath in. I exhaled just as I began to back away from her.

"I'm sorry.." I looked away.

"Look, I get it..." She stood up, the tone in her voice making me look back at her. "Your judging me for getting involved with a guy I knew was no good in the first place."

I began to shake my head no. "I'm not.." Then she cut me off.

"Yes, you are." She nodded. "I can see it in your face." She pointed out. "But face it, Jack.. Not every girl is as lucky as Elizabeth. She has two guys by her side all the time. Good guys. She may not see it, but she's one of the luckiest girls I know. So excuse me for trying to make myself feel a little better."

"It shouldn't all be a competition, Mandy." I shook my head.

Mandy shrugged.

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Why?"

"Mandy, please!" I exclaimed.

"Why? So you could beat him?" She crossed her arms. "You'll only prove you're no better than him!"

The temptation coursed through my veins. But she had a point. Easing myself down again, I suddenly became shocked as her hand gently reached out to my arm. Her blue eyes looked up at me.

"You're not like them.." She explained. "You're better... So be better."

Her tears began to swell up again and my first instinct from that was to immediately embrace her. She was like a little sister to me. This was me, showing her that I cared about her too.

Her small figure crashed into mine. My arms swing around her, protectively giving her a hug as my chin rested above her head. I tried to comfort her, softly smiling as I noticed her hug me back. Her cheek was pressed to my chest. Her arms tightly squeezed me before she spoke, a small chuckle then escaped her lips.

"I think this is the closest we've ever been to each other." She chuckled, sniffing afterwards.

My eyes closed, smiling in agreement. "Wish you didn't have to go through what you did for it to happen."

Amanda shrugged. "Guess it all happens for a reason?"

I nodded my head. "You Viera girls are pretty tough."

Chuckling, we pulled away. I helped Mandy dry her tears before my hands met her shoulders.

"What do you say we get you home?"

I feared she'd reject my recommendation but much to my surprise, home seemed like the only place she wanted to be in now.

Nodding her head, Amanda sniffed and smiled.

"The maniac awaits." She joked hesitantly.

I chuckled, smiling down as I agreed.

"Thank you, Jack." She softly smiled. "For everything." There was a small pause. "I think that after tonight, you might just be my friend." She arched a brow, playfully crossing her arms.

Smiling, I played along with her. "Why, I couldn't be more honored."

Handing Mandy her bag, she smiled as she took it from my hands. I guided her over to my car and assured she was seated in the passenger's seat before I shut her door.

I don't know whether it was all still hitting her, or if this was all an act. But I can sense Amanda was still sad. I don't care what I said, I will find out who did this to her and I will break his nose.

Hitting a girl!? It's sick. A disgrace to the meaning of being a man.

Tonight... Is just the beginning.

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