R. Ali Rahaman

Dejected. 

This is the phrase I'm breathing through. Despite having billion of dollars in the bank account, I'm the poorest person alive in the world. Those fucking dollars are deficient for saving an innocent. That poor soul is fighting against death and no amount of money can grant him life. What is the value of the money then? What is the benefit of this bloody CEO position? What is the use of being categorized in the top 10 billionaires in the world? 

Damn the fucking money! Damn the fucking title!

All I want is him back to life. Back to me, which I'm constantly losing at. I lost before which I really deserved because intentionally or unintentionally I was at fault -I was to blame and I'd paid much more than anyone could've. But him? No, this isn't my fault for which I've to pay the consequences. I can't lose him. 

"Ay Allah! Every time I've raised my hands to You, I've never felt this restless. Then why I'm the same feeling that I've felt years back, when I lost everything. You're seeing everything. You know everything. Don't take him away from me, I beg you. Without him I'll lose the slightest sanity, I've left in life. Punish me all You want. But not him. Please listen to my prayers. Ameen" 

Folding the janamaz, I pace to his sleeping posture. The IV tube is plugged to his hand along with a oxygen mask on his face. His skin is pale, dark circles under once the most unique shade of blackish brown eyes. The glorious face is now nothing but expressionless concrete. Kissing his head I leave the room quietly with a heavy burden on my chest.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Ammi's loud voice almost burst my eardrums. "I'VE BEEN CALLING NOW SINCE I'VE OPEN EYES." 

Shit! I left the house without informing her. She's damn furious now. If I tell her I've come to visit at this hour, she'll again worry. But I need to see him as much as I can. He brings peace in my ghastly life. 

"Ammi calm down. I'm in the hospital. I'll be heading straight for the office from here." I say.

"No way. You'll be coming straight home." She orders. "You must gone to visit him at midnight. Don't argue with me, you're coming home right now or I won't eat breakfast." 

There you go. Emotional blackmail. She very well knows, for me her health is extremely important. I can't win against her. I call a nurse, dictating to take care of him and call me forgiving the updates very hour. The doctor hasn't arrived yet or I would talked to him before leaving. 

Ammi on the other hand has called me for the second time. Accepting my defeat, I drive home leaving my mind behind at the hospital, where he's is lying lifelessly. Life never do justice with me - always ending me up in situations to break me into pieces. 

"Bhai sukhar hai ap ageya. Ammi ne toh pure ghar sarpe uthaliyathi (Brother, thank God you've returned. Ammi has wreak a havoc in the entire house.)." Ibrahim sighs.

"Where is she?" I roll my eyes. Ammi really knows how to bring me home. 

"Kitchen." 

She's gonna scold the hell out of me. She never liked me going out without telling her. I don't know what she fears - my going out without her acknowledgement or me leaving her forever. I've told her I won't be leaving her and go away yet it's of no use because she never believes me. I'm wondering what Abba's state has been in this morning. She must has caused him go mad too. 

"What are you chuckling at?" Ammi snaps. "You find it amusing, causing your Ammi distress, isn't it?

"I was thinking about Abba's condition. Every time you become a lady hulk, he is the most who suffers." I laugh.

She hits me with the rolling pin in her hand. "Mocking your Ammi now, huh!" Again another hit.

"Ahh Ammi. It hurts." I fake cry. "Have some much mercy on your poor son." 

"Stop your drama. How is he? What the doctors said?" Agitation is eating her up from inside. 

"Trying - that's all they said." Thoughts of the worst are captivating my hopeful mind. "I'll give my best effort to bring him home as the bundle of happiness as he was. I'll make the heaven and hell one even if that's required for his well-being." 

"In Sha Allah he'll recover. Now go and freshen up." Ammi wipes her tears, giving a smile of hope.

Hope. Yes this is all I've now. Hope that nothing bad will occur. Hope that he'll smile again. Hope that I'll again hold him in my arms. 

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"Am I paying you for doing fucking blunders?" I throw the file on the floor, papers scattered and life drench out of my secretary. My mood is not too good today to overlook clumsiness of the annoying stuffs. I bloody pay them for better productivity. "I'm telling this for the last time - take your work seriously or get the hell out of this premise right now. Am I clear?" 

She nods quivering. Damn! This kind of behavior pops out every vein out of my body with fury. What's wrong with her? Can't she talk? Allah! What kind of people have I hired? I'm feeling to smash each and everyone with a grinding stone. "I said, am I fucking clear? I need words not gestures!" This time I'm more loud. 

"Y-yes S-sir." She somewhere mumbles keeping her eyes on the ground. Please don't start with the tear works. 

"Good. Now go out and tell that new assistant to bring me coffee within a minute." My head is pounding, the stress in hammering in my head making me unable to calm down. Rubbing my temples, keeping my eyes close I take deep breathes. I'm again losing control which isn't very appreciable. Every now and then I lose temper to the worst. I can't help it- the frustration of not able to do something and seeing him lying on the bed is killing every good inside left inside of me. 

"Come in." In a cold voice I call in. A girl with a flirty smile enters, carrying a mug on the tray. She has wore a short peach pencil skirt and the transparent white blouse, in a effort to seduce me. I know those looks and attempts - I get them a lot of a lot. I made it rather clear that no slutty clothes at the office building yet some bitches never listen. I told Umair Bhai not to hire such assistant for me a thousand times but he always has to do the opposite - always finding new ways to irk me.

She puts the mug on the table, almost hovering over me. If I strangle this woman to death now, I'm not taking the blame for it. Ab Raab hi bachaye mujse is larki ko (May God saves this girl from me). Standing up from my chair, I walk to her with a slow pace. Her face flashes with confidence as if she's being successful at seducing me. I hold a relax expression with smirk beneath the boiling blood, raising in me to erupt anytime now.

"5 seconds. Just 5 seconds you've to get your bloody attitudes out my office. You're fired." I maintain a cooler tone, trying my best to let my anger out on her. 

"Oh Sir! First try the coffee I've made just for you." She starts to make several patterns on my chest with her index finger. "Or you want to try something else?" She whispers closing the gap between us a further more. The odd smell of her chocking perfume is making me throw up. She smells like shit. Clenching my jaw tighter than before I throw the mug aimlessly. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" She backs off immediately. Great now she's showering her face with tears. She's lucky that I don't raise hands on women, or she'd be in the ICU now. She runs out as fast as she can, closing the doors shut.   

Can this day be any fucking more shittier? 

The more I try to keep my temper in check, the most effort people give to crawl inside my skin, ripping it off me. Already I'm infuriated and every breathing soul has a death wish today. I stand near the colossal glass window, resting my hands on the steel railing - the scenery out is gloomy and dull, the sun seems to unhappy today too. Soon I'm lost in the train of thoughts that I didn't realize several knocks at my door has been hitting. When I didn't response, someone enters inside the cabin by himself. Can't anyone understands the reason behind of no response - lack of common sense. Bloody people.

"Wasn't I clear enough when I didn't call in?" I ask not turning back yet.

"But Mr. Raha..." 

I didn't allow to complete the sentence as I shout, "GET OUT" turning back, I find someone whom I wasn't excepting to be here. She stumbles back by the impact of my yelling and land her feet on the broken pieces of the mug.

"Ouch!" She cries out in pain as she falls down. The white floor soon paints in scarlet red. 

"Miss Qazi!" I rush to her, panic replaces my anger. Her pink niqab is getting wet by the tears flowing out for the injury. Bending down, I offer my hand. Though I know she won't be accepting it but right now I don't care. "Let me help you." The plead isn't hidden in my words.

"I'll manage." She tries to rise on her own feet but failed. This stubborn woman! Having enough of her denial, I pick her up. My one hand is under her legs and another supporting her back. She might kill me later for touching her but right now she needs first-aid. 

"Mr. Rahaman!" She grasps. "What are you doing? Put me down. It's haram to be touched by an unknown man. Khuda k vaaste niche utare mujhse. (Put me down for God's sake)." She keeps struggling in order to escape. 

"Keep silent or I'll drop you." I threaten. She grabs the top of my vest tightly. I'm about to place her on the sofa when the doors of my cabin fly open and Ammi steps in. Her eyes widen witnessing the scene being displayed. My grip loosen, as a result she falls down with a thud. Thank Lord she lands on the sofa.

"Ahh!" 

"Ayan!"

Miss Qazi and Ammi yell at the same time. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to drop you." I apology. I acted like I've been caught red-handed while stealing cookies from cookie jar. "Ammi it's not what you're thinking." I defend myself. I don't want her to get any wrong impression. 

"Go and bring first aid-first Ayan. She is bleeding. Don't act like a stupid." Ammi hurried to her while I grab the first-aid box from the washroom cabinet. By the time I come, Ammi is already pressing her wounded foot with tissues. Taking the box from me, she attends her wounds properly. She takes out at least four broken pieces out of her left foot. Miss Qazi winces as Ammi dabs cleans her injury. I call my secretary to send someone for cleaning the mess. I should've done it earlier. She got hurt because me.   

"Fortunately the pieces didn't dig deep or else you'd need stitches." She says wrapping bandage around her foot. "How this happened - care to explain?" She looks at me angrily. Great! Now she'll scold me in front of my client.

"Um aunty actually I accidentally stepped on the broken glass." Miss Qazi says, before I'd open my mouth. If I tell Ammi the reason behind for the broken mug she'll thrash me like clothes in washing machine. She never liked me being losing temper. 

"Why were you walking bare feet, dear?" Ammi turns her attention at her.

"I-um my scandal broke on the way." She lowers her head shyly. Ammi keeps staring at her amusingly. 

"Ammi what brings you here? Anything important - you'd have called me." I ask. The way she is looking at her, I'm getting danger alert. This is not going to end well for me. I know that smile on Ammi's face. May Allah save me now. 

"I came to discuss something but it's not necessary now. I already got my answer." She put her hand on Miss Qazi's head lovingly. Oh Allah! My fear is coming true for sure. She's exactly thinking what I'm afraid of. "Ammi can you please excuse us for some time. She came here for a meeting and it's already late. And I sincerely apologize for the troubles." I need to separate Ammi from her at this very moment. This isn't going right. 

"Uff my workaholic son! Leave your meeting now. Don't you see she is injured? She needs rest." She shuts me off. "Come beta I'll drop you home." 

"But Ammi..." I try to reason her. She's not gonna hear anything. 

"No buts. I'm taking her with me. She suffered much for one day." 

"Fine. At least let me  drive you two. Come" I offer. I can't leave her with Ammi. She's cooking something in head and I know exactly what she's planning. 

"No need. I bought my car. You take care of your business. Allah Hafiz." Miss Qazi remains quiet may be being puzzled. Limping she leaves the cabin, supporting on Ammi. I stand at the door like an idiot, seeing them stepping in the elevator. 

Can Miss Qazi handle Ammi by her own? Misbehaving with Ammi is the least thing I expect from her, though she isn't that type of girl who would do that still I can't help but wonder.

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It's 9 in the night and most the employees have gone by now. I'm checking the investors list for tomorrow's meeting. I need another assistant again. Uff!

"Bhai where are you? Come home fast." Hafsa screams as I answer the call. 

"What? Is everyone okay? Abba! Is Abba okay?" Anxiety kicks in. 

"Bhai everyone is fine but there is a situation. Please come home. NOW!" She forces. Grabbing my suit from the chair I quickly leave the building. Allah knows what situation she's talking about. I drive home thinking about Miss Qazi and Ammi. I ponder if she has said something to her. Ammi please I hope you haven't said anything to her which I'm thinking you've already it anyway. I didn't even get the time to park the car properly as Ibrahim drags me out of the car, pushing me inside the house. 

"What's wrong with you all?" Irritation has hyper me. I certainly have the craziest family.

"You'll know soon. Now hurry!" 

My siblings are hopeless and annoying. What they do - what they think - I've no clue. They always pops out of nowhere. 

"Tu toh chhupa rustam hai! (You're a dark horse!)" Umair Bhai hugs me laughingly. What's actually happening? My entire family has been crowded in the living hall. This happens when either for a grave discussion or confronting someone. I'm afraid in my case it's both. 

"She's actually very pretty bhai."

"No no, she looks like a fairy." 

"Say Mashallah kids." 

Everyone showers with chaos in the surrounding. This is what you suffer when you've such maddening crowd under one roof. I'm not complaining - they are my lifelines - without them I'm nothing. But sometimes, they are too much to handle. This chaos in the alarm of upcoming bomb that's gonna drop on me. 

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"I want to see her as my daughter-in-law." 

"We want her as our sister-in-law." 

Ammi and my stupid siblings speak up at the same time. I knew it. Hah! I just knew it! I don't wanna live in this house anymore. I'll go for hibernation. Even better for meditation to Himalayas - about this. Ammi why did you do this to me? I'm crying internally. Ay Raab! I can't believe this. 

"I'm already engaged to Samara. What are you saying?" I try convince them. 

"Oh come Ayan we all know about Samara. Ammi came to your office today to talk about her. But by Allah's grace Maham came as a solution." Nagris bhabi (sister-in-law) replies. So Ammi told everyone about today's incident. 

Ammi ap mahan ho! (Ammi you're great)!

"No one is happy with your so called engagement with that drama queen." Haawa irritably rolls her eyes. 

"Yes she's a dramatic fragile barbie doll. No one likes her." Hasfa joins. 

Oh Allah what am I gonna do now? Samara isn't the best person I know but she's good I guess. And how can we suddenly call of the engagement? This is so going to disturb ours and their reputation in the media. Samara is the daughter of Abba's friend. When the proposal came, I accepted it for Abba plus she seems as a nice girl - mostly with him. It's not that I like her but I respect her as a person. 

"Beta it's not hidden - your reasons behind agreeing to marry Samara. I know you aren't happy and I can't never forgive myself if you're future becomes somber because of me. The engagement has been fixed on 30th of this month. If you say we can call it off." Abba says. I know he says it with a hope that I'll accept Maham. He knows Ammi is never wrong and her choice would be the best for me. I don't know what to do. Wouldn't I be doing injustice to Samara? Will it be a correct decision to yes to Maham? So many questions but no answers. 

"Do whatever you think is right for me. I've no objections." With that I walk to my room. That's all I can say. 

Entering into the shower I let the cold water clear up my mind. So much is happening and I feel sometimes like numb. You can't run away from what's written in your fate. The destiny will bring it to you by hook or by crook. There's no hiding from your own fate. It'll always find you. 

Coming out of the shower I dress up to offer Namaz (Prayer). This is what brings me out of every calamity in my - prayer provides me peace - relief knowing there's someone up there keeping blessing on you and you're never alone. 

After I finish Namaz, I sit with my laptop to distract myself from the hassle currently storming in my life. 

"Ayan." Ammi calls.

"Why are you standing outside. Come in." I keep my laptop aside. She comes in with a brown envelope in hand. Taking a breath she hands it to me. I look at her furrowing my eye-brows. 

"I know she's the one. Everything will be alright." Pressing my shoulder she leaves, with a happy smile. Wait! She knows? How? 

I stare down at the envelope which she gave me, not daring to open it. I pray you're right Ammi. I wish everything will be alright. But-

Will she ever accept me?

__________________________________________________________________________

Will Maham say yes to the proposal?

What do you think guys? 

What happened at Maham's place? 

Comment to let me know that what do you think... don't to vote and share....

***Clearing confusion.... Ayan is the nickname of Mr. Rahman.***

Love yaaaa all...😘❤