Maham

Marriage is a responsibility as big as it's spelled. When two people are tied together they are bounded by vows to be together forever, to be one other's support and to be honest with each other.

The only person that a girl can always rely on her husband after marriage - that's what our culture teach us.

Marriage isn't a child's play, and it's not easy to maintain. The complications, the heavy weights - the ways of dealing them are learnt by time. And I hope I'll live up to the expectations everyone has from me, especially my husband.

"Bhabi it's Bhai's room and from now it's yours too. Take rest. Bhai will come soon." Hawwa helps me to the room.

It's a master bedroom decorated with flowers and candles. The candles are resembling that night, the last I saw him. I'm feeling suffocated again.

"My hoor."

"I love you meri jaana."

"You're only mine."

Flashes of his memories is abusing my mind. His voice is ringing like hammering beating pins. I can't take it any more. Why it's coming back again?

I don't remember much before I lost consciousness. When I get my senses back, I see two worries eyes boring at me.

I fainted on my wedding night!

Wow Mahru! You're fantastic.

What he must be thinking of me now?

Avoiding further uneasiness, I get up to freshen up. As I enter the washroom, I astonished. This kind of washroom is seen in magazines or in any Hollywood movies. It's so big and beautiful. However, I do Wudu and come out. He isn't in the room. I take my prayer mat from my suitcase, which I always carry wherever I go and offer my prayer.

I'm combing my hair when he returns. I'm not habituated to keep my hair open in front of any male, except Baba so I wrap my head with my veil.

He signs me to sit beside him and I did. He gives me a box where a magnificent amethyst stone pendant. He helps me wear it to which I didn't object. But my heart accelerates more and more by every second.

"Always wear it." His breathing blows in my ear causing me shake. Sensing me uncomfortable, he moves back.

"But you won't fit on that sofa." My stupid mouth speaks. He glances at me raising his brows. Allah! Have he been offended?

Make it right Mahru!

"I mean this bed is massive, I've no problem sharing it with you." Nervously I offer.

He gladly accepts my offer and lay beside me, making sure to keep gap between us. I request him not to off the turns as I can't sleep in dark.

"Oh thanks for reminding me. I almost forgot. One sec." I didn't understand. He turns off the lights, despite my pleads. What's he doing? I grasp his forearm, hiding my face.

A second later he asks me to open my eyes. I'm taken aback seeing the ceiling on top of me. Neon lights are shinning like stars providing dim lights in the room. It's so praise-worthy, it's actually beggar description how amazing it is.

"H-how? W-when did you do this?"

"Yesterday."

Has he done all this for me? He cares about me. I can't express how much lucky I'm feeling to have him as a live partner. I've always wanted a friend in my husband - a friend who will always take care of me, who will know what causes me trouble. And I think I found him.

"Thank you." This isn't enough and he deserves more than a thank you. I can barely keep myself from smiling.

"Anything for you Jaana. Now sleep." He pecks on my temple. I didn't move away from him. I keep my head on his shoulder. To be honest, I find a sense of comfortableness around him.

May Allah bless us to be happy.

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"Maham, wake up." Someone is continuously poking me. "It's prayer time. Wake up." As he mentions prayer, I snap out from my sleep. I almost forgot about it. I again didn't set alarm. He chuckles at my shocked face.

His face is wet evidently that he has done his Wudu already.

"I was thinking to offer prayer with you. If you've no objection." He says. This made me smile again.

"Give me a minute." I run to do Wudu.

When I come back, he has already spread my prayer mat along with him. I wrap my head with the veil and we prayer together for the first time. Honestly it's a bit uneasy but I'll get habituated to it.

I thank Allah for whatever He has blessed me with.

Normally I don't sleep after Fajr, but when I'm too tired to sleep again. Honestly all these of functions has drained all energy from my body. I really need sleep or else I'll go mad.

By nine in the morning I wake up again. Neela aunty said me not to wake up today, but I couldn't sleep anymore. May be the excitement of being in a new home.

Rayan is profoundly sleeping so I didn't disturb him and walk out of the room silently. Coming out I'm puzzled - which way to go? Why people has to live in such maze? This mansion is huge. I didn't notice before but now I did.

Can I get a map please?

It will take me years to learn this mansion. I take the right stairs and come down. I'm in a massive living hall.

Now which way?

"Are you searching someone?" A voice ghost out of nowhere.

I stare at the lady, who seems like an employee of the house, as she is wearing a black apron and white sari.

"Can you show me the way to kitchen please?" I say.

"Sure ma'am. Come with me." She is very kind.

I reach the massive white marble kitchen. This kitchen is any chef's dream. I see aunty cooking inside along with Bhabi.

"Assalamu Alaikum." I hint my presence.

"Oh beta. Why are you wake so early? You'd rest." Aunty says.

"Mama is right. Why have you woke up now? Go rest now." Bhabi joins aunty.

"No Bhabi actually, I'm not habituated to sleep late. Can I help?" I reply.

"No beta. It's okay." Aunty denies. "You liked your room? If you want to make any changes feel free to tell me."

"It's already so beautiful, there is nothing change aunty."

"I'm very upset with you." My smile drops. "What's this aunty? Am I not worthy to be your mother?" She asks sadly.

"No, no. What are you saying? I'm sorry Aun... I mean Mama." I go to her and give a hug.

"Hugging without me?" Bhabi also joins in the hug.

They are making breakfast and I'm munching on the cookies Bhabi made. This reminds me how I used to watch Ammi to cook in the kitchen. I quickly wipes a tear that fall on my cheek. I'm happy to get such a loving family.

"Mahru go and give this coffee to Rayan. If he don't get his morning coffee, he stays grumpy all day." Bhabi hands me a mug and I walk up to his room.

The bed is empty. He must be in the shower. I keep the mug on the beside table and arrange the bed. This room needs cleaning, petals and candles are everywhere. I pick up all the candles one by one and put them together one corner of the room.

"No. I need the deal. I certainly can't lose it to my rivals. Fix the meeting for tomorrow." I hear his voice.

I turn back. He has been standing near the walk-in closet being shirtless. He is busy with his call that he didn't notice me at all.

His broad chest looks powerful, finely sculpted muscle and arms have been worked out well. His abs are burnt sharply to it's glory. He has an air of authority and the appearance of one who demands instant obedience.

Astagfirullah!

Have you no shame checking him out?!

"When did you come?" He keeps the phone into his pants pocket.

"P-please w-wear something." My eyes are roaming all over the floor like a ping-pong ball. He is walking towards me and I walk backwards until I'm trap between him and the wall. I'm already unnerve seeing him shirtless and my anxiety increased more with this closeness.

"Look at me." He says intensely. His thumbing is painting unknown patterns on my cheeks.

I look and he is already in a gray t-shirt.

When did he wear it?

"You look so adorable with cheeks heating up." He laughs, kissing my head. I close my eyes feeling it to my heart. His touch isn't stranger to me. It doesn't feel like the first time, he has been close to me. May be he has been around me all these days, that's I'm feeling like this.

"Your coffee is getting cold." I mumble.

He sighs and backs off. "It's already cold. Never-mind I'll have it at the breakfast table. Shall we go?"

We attend rest of the family at the breakfast table. Everyone wishes me good-morning and starts eating together.

"Bhabi do you want to go to the parlor for getting ready for Walima today?" Hafsa asks.

"I think we'd call the make-up artists here as it will save time plus the Delhi traffics are nightmares." Umair Bhai says.

"Whatever you feel right." I reply.

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I'm ready by twelve in the afternoon. Thankfully, it's early that means by evening the ceremony will end. Mama gives him a gorgeous silver lehenga with mud-red at the bottom. It's thoroughly designed. It's so heavy and I've to wear heels to.

Allah knows how will I manage!

"Are you ready?" Rayan comes into the room, wearing silverish off-white sherwani - matching with my attire. He takes his wallet and tie watch on his wrist.

"Yes, I just have to wear the heels." Pinning the safety pin on my scarf I sit on the bed to strap the heels which I'm unable to do. His phone buzzes and he paces to the balcony to attend it. This is the tenth time he is receiving calls. Since morning he is stick with phone to his ear.

He is a very busy businessman after all.

Urrgh! What should I do with this heels now? I can't tie them. Whom should I call now? I try again but failed.

"Let me." He takes the heels from my hand, kneeing down.

"No, you don't have to do this. Please get up. This isn't right." I complain.

Allah! He is my husband. He shouldn't be touching my feet. What will others' think?

"And why so?" Arching an eye-brow up, he looks up at me. "Who am I to you?"

"Husband."

"Whose?"

"Mine." I mumble, playing with the end of my veil. A strange tinkle sparks inside me as I regard him as mine.

Is he really mine?

I'm all yours meri hoor (my fairy) and you're all mine.

A fainting voice plays back into my mind. I jerk it off straight away. I shouldn't be thinking about him anymore.

"Yes only yours. Keep that in mind from now." He hold my right foot and locks the strap swiftly, repeating the same with my other foot. "Shall we go then?"

"Thank you." He helps me stand on my feet. I take a step forward and these heels imbalanced me. He catches me in a heartbeat before I face a great fall.

"Are you having difficulties with these heels?"

Yes, I can't walk on these, plus this heavy lehenga isn't helping either. I shake my mind in no. Because I can't tell him the truth.

"Wear something flat." He tightens his hold around my wrist. How does he every time sense my discomfort?

"Bhabi gave the heels to wear. All brides wear it. I'll manage." I reason him. It's doesn't look good and I look so tiny beside this giant so heels are the ultimate solution.

"But my bride is exceptional." He smirks playfully. "You're so breath-taking and gorgeous by the way." He pecks my forehead gingerly. This is enough for my heart to run like mad horses. "I think I'll end up breaking some jaws today." Chuckling, he pulls me more closer to his built chest. Heating rushing up to my cheeks.

What this man is doing to me?

"Abbay Ayan romance karna ab rehne de. Tera Walima (Reception) ka time ho raha hay. (Hey Ayan, save your romance for later. It's time for you reception). Come down fast." Umair Bhai barges in the room unannounced, making me agitated. I try to free myself from his grip but he didn't let go.

"Why you have to be a bummer now Bhai?" He rolls his eyes being irked. "We're coming."

"Oh wait don't move. Mash Allah what a beautiful couple." Bhai clicks our pose in his phone. "I'm going now. Come soon."

I bury my face on his chest, covering my abashment. I'm sure I look sibling of tomatoes now. "Shall we resume our romance?" He whispers.

Arrgh! Shameless man.

I smack on his chest and he laughs.

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"It's okay, I'm here. I won't let you fall. Hold my hand tight." He murmurs gasping my hand. With his help I walk to the stage.

One by one all the guests are coming, giving their blessings. Baba couldn't come because too much travelling isn't good for him. I'm missing him badly. Raiza comes to me and hands me her phone.

She has called Baba via video call and I couldn't be more happier. We talk for a good time. This made my day. The reception is going fine with no hazards. I'm met with numerous people, my head is spinning now. I've been into such colossal crowding.

Rayan seems much used to it. Even in this crowd, his presence is compelling and self-confident. His profile speaks of power and ageless strength yet he is kind and well-mannered. Not to mention, he is looking so handsome.

Mash Allah.

I can witness other girls in the hall is ogling him shamelessly almost drooling. I won't lie but I do feel a sudden jealously.

"Relax. I've no interest in anyone except my beautiful wife." He kisses on my knuckles. People who notice it, makes an "aww" face. I again blush badly.

How does he always know what am I thinking?

Can he reads mind?

After we have a grand lunch the ceremony comes to an end. We arrive home by evening as predicated.

I'm currently struggling with veil and scarf. My veil is stuck into the scarf and I can't take it off. He comes from the washroom after changing into homey clothes and helps me with my issue. Thanking him, I go to the washroom and comes back to offer prayer together with my husband.

At night at the dinning table, Ammi mentions Baba and she have to go to New York for some days on Wednesday, which day after tomorrow. Baba asks me to visit my father after they come back as Bhabi can't manage the house by her own. I've no problem with it as I'm too tired to travel again and Rayan has some meetings to attend also.

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I wake up to an empty bed. The clock is ticking at 8 a.m.

Where is he?

I check the closet and washroom but he isn't anywhere. Taking a shower, I arrange the bed and fold the blanket properly. I notice a white rose on the side-table with a piece of paper.

Why haven't I notice it before?

"I'll be back by noon. I've an early meeting.
P.S. You look adorable while sleeping."

I bite my lip controlling my shy smile. I keep the note and flower inside my favorite novel of all time - Forty rules of love by Elif Shafak

I march down to the breakfast table where Bhabi and Mama are serving to Ibrahim.

"Good morning Mahru. I was about to call you. Come have breakfast." Bhabi says.

"I'm so sorry, I woke late." I should have wake up early. Mama must be very unhappy with me. Everyone had their breakfast together and I was left behind. I just gave the worst impression. From today I won't sleep after Fajr.

"No beta, it's okay. I'd say you sleep rather late. I didn't make you my daughter-in-law for doing chores." She kisses my forehead lovingly.

"Yes Mahru. You know when I came in this house Mama didn't allow me in the kitchen for months." Bhabi shares. "After a great fight, I finally got to do some works. Mama is the best." She side hugs her smilingly.

"Where are others?" I ask.

"Junior citizens have gone to schools and senior citizens have gone to office -their second home." Ibrahim jokes.

We all eat foods having a good conversations.

"Beta as per tradition of the house you've to cook something for Rayan today. It's okay if you don't want to." I almost choke on water. I've to cook?

"Mama you remember the first time I cooked for Umair. I added salt instead of sugar in Halwaa." Bhabi crackles.

"Bhai's face was worth capturing. He didn't even know how to react." Ibrahim bursts out roaring.

I'm gonna do the worst, I know. I need to call my lifelines. After the breakfast Mama informs me that Rayan loves a good spicy chicken karai and kebab. I ring Afiya and Bano in Whatsapp for help.

"Guys when it comes to cooking you know I'm hopeless. Please help me." I'm on the verge of crying.

"Okay. Relax first. Tell me what's the dish?"

"Chicken Karai."

They dictate me every step but I'm still getting confused. I can't call Baba, he'll surely scold me for not learning it before. It takes me two hours to make it to the end. It looks edible I guess and I tried to burnt it. Now just hope for the best.

Rayan returns by lunchtime along with Umair Bhai and Baba. I serve my dish to him. Anxiety is rushing in my veins. I've never cooked in my twenty-three years life. I just pray it's really edible at least. He takes the first morsel and I cross my fingers. His face is blank, giving no hint of how it tastes.

"It's good." He comments. A great relief blessed me.

"Really? I want to taste it too." Umair bhai says.

"NO!" He barks. "I mean my lovely wife cooked it for me. It's all mine." He snatches the bowl from Bhai's hand and starts eating all of it by himself. As he is eating his face is turning red along with his ears. It seems like he is forcing himself to eat. He hurriedly finishes the dish and excuses himself from the table.

"He really loved it. He never eats like this even when Mama cooks. You really put magic into your dish." Bhabi chuckles.

I somewhere feel otherwise. His behavior doesn't seem pleasant. I scoop a bit of curry from the bowl and taste it. I should've done it before serving though.

My tongue sets on flames. It's a mountain of salt and chilly. My mouth is burning.

It's gross. How did he eat the whole thing?

Ya Khuda!

I takes honey and a glass of cold milk for him promptly. Allah knows how he is now! I rush to the room, where I find him washing his face with cold water repeatedly. His entire face has turned red and eyes are swollen red. His condition is extremely terrible. I feed him some honey and then the glass of milk. He gets some solace by it.

"Why did you do it? You'd have said it. Look what you've done to yourself." I break into sobbing. "It wasn't even edible and you ate the full dish without a word. I'm so sorry. For me you've suffer."

"Shh. Calm down. I'm fine." He kisses away my tears. "You made it with such affection. How could I complain? And I didn't want you to be humiliated in front my family either. It's fine meri jaana."

"How can you be fine? I've put you in such a horrible state. I'm very sorry." I continue weeping.

"Calm down wifey. I don't like you weeping. It's fine." He takes me in his strong embrace, assuring everything is fine.

I sob for some time and gradually calm down. "Now wipe these ugly tears and give me a beautiful smile." His rubs moisten from my cheeks and sweetly kisses my puffed cheeks, making me glee.

In spite of the disaster I did, he is still acting so gently, not raising his voice for once at him.

Why is he so good?

What have I done to deserve much a partner like him?

Sometimes it all feels like too good to be real. I can't never ask someone better than him. His breaking all the walls I built around me for five years.

Should I let him in?

_____________________________________________________________

Another lovable moment they shared.

Rayan is proving to be the best, isn't he?

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Until next time sweetcakes!!!!