TW // Panic Attack

Louis rushed to his chambers, his heart in his mouth. Breaths left his body in erratic rhythms, his mouth slightly parted. His chest heaved as he heard a door close behind him distantly, as if the voice was drowning in gallops of water. He ran the rest of the way to his chambers, the door slamming behind him.

Finally back in his safe quarters, he sat down on the bed, his hands covering his face. Taking in deep breaths, he let out a soft moan. Why did he always have to ruin things? If the Prince figured out that he wasn’t here by a royal decree, it would be disastrous. He would never let Louis have the Princess’s hand in marriage. He would never be able to go home. His father would never be proud of him. He had ruined everything!

His heart was thudding in his chest, his lungs barely able to function. What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to face his father again? No, he would never get to face him because he wouldn’t be allowed back in his kingdom. He didn’t deserve to call it his kingdom anymore. He was never getting it.

He groaned, pulling at his hair. His eyes grew hot, his chest tightening. There was a whirring in his ears as if all time had stopped. He wondered if he was stuck in the void for all of eternity. He deserved it too. What had his father said? He was worthless. He didn’t deserve to be prince. His fists clenched as a memory clouded his mind, his chambers giving rise to his father’s office room, turning the brilliant colours into dull grey.

“Have you no idea what you have done?” The voice came out of clenched teeth, more a growl. Louis shuddered. He hated being called to his father’s office. It never seemed to bring forth any good news. Louis stared at the wooden ground, his eyes on the swirling patterns of ochre and deep brown. His shoulders sagged down, the weight of his father’s gaze too heavy for him to endure. His hands behind his back interlocked together, twisting and clenching. “LOOK AT ME, BOY”

His neck snapped up, his eyes wide. “Yes, father. I apologize.”

His father looked at him with pursed lips. The disappointment was clear in his eyes. Louis hated it. “Do you have no idea how this could affect us? Our reputation?” Louis’ lips twitched. His eyes brimmed with tears that he hastily swiped away. “Do not weep like a little girl. YOU ARE A PRINCE!”

“I’m sorry, father. I will not make the mistake again.” Louis replied in a hurry, his nose red. He was never going to make the mistake again, he promised it to himself. Never was he going to be this careless, this vile. He was going to make up to his father. He would prove himself to be resourceful.

“You have to endure a punishment. For the things you have done, the women you have ravaged.” Louis’ bones chilled. He had thought that was what his father wanted. He thought his father wanted his reputation to be so. He was mistaken. Again.

“I will humbly accept anything you say, father, for it is rightfully mine to bear.” His father snorted. The rage in his eyes was clear. No, this wasn’t what he had wanted at all.

“You will be banished from this kingdom, never to return again until you get yourself a wife. If you come back before, you will be hunted. Alive or dead.”

The blood left his face. His father was setting up a bounty on his head. He was asking his own people to kill the crown Prince on sight if they couldn’t capture him. He was supposed to rule over them, guide them. He couldn’t possibly let this happen. “Father, but the bab-“

“DO NOT SAY THAT AGAIN” His father shouted, making sixteen year old Louis shake. “I will be taking care of that. That is none of your concern.”

Louis’ hands shook with terror, his eyes welling up again. “Father,” He said, his voice quivering. “Do not touch her. I beg of you, leave her alone. She is only the victim here. She was at the wrong place at –”

“SILENCE”

Louis stopped, tears freely flowing down his cheeks. What was he going to do? He was going to lose everything.

“Your highness?” A voice called from outside the door, jerking Louis out of his reverie. His hand jolted up, knocking the glass on the table beside his bed, causing it to clang to the floor. The transparent liquid spilled on the ground, spreading over the brown flooring like cancer taking over a person’s body.

“Your highness, are you okay?” The voice came again and this time, he recognized it. His hand came away wet, his mouth unable to form any words. He lied down on the bed, his face hiding in the folds of the duvet as he sobbed into it. His voice was quiet, his mind strong enough to remember that no one looked favorably on a man crying. Especially when that man was a prince.

He heard a rustle near the door, as if somebody was rubbing their clothes against it. A sigh. “Louis, is something wrong?”

No. Nothing was wrong. Except for the fact that you figured it out, he thought. Except for the fact that you ruined everything.

“Louis? Please tell me if you are hurt somewhere. I will get a medic to assist you immediately.”

Louis snorted. Yes he was hurt but a medic wasn’t enough to heal him. What did the prince know anyway, he thought. He was probably treated like an angel that he was. Every person in the entire kingdom loved him. And who wouldn’t?

“I am not hurt, your highness.” Louis said, his voice cracking. “Not physically anyway.” The last bit was whispered and he hoped it wouldn’t reach the Prince’s ears.

Harry let out a sigh as Louis lay down on his back, nuzzling his pillow. He took in deep calming breaths but he could still taste the coppery feel of fear at the back of his mind. He got up, wanting to get himself a glass of water but the jug was empty, the water all down on the floor. He kneeled down, his arms resting on the bed, his head between his arms. He hated the way things had played out. Why couldn’t anything ever go right? Why could he never achieve the one thing he had wanted?

The prince had no right to be suspicious of him. He had done everything right. He had acted like a spoiled prince, paid no heed to things of importance. How could the prince ever think he wasn’t a royal? He had royal blood flowing in his body. He was as noble as one could get.

“Do you wish to let me in?” the prince asked.

No, Louis thought. He was a mess and he had no wish for the prince to see him this way. He already knew Louis was having a breakdown; he didn’t want him to see the tears on his cheeks, his red eyes or his wobbly lips.

Another sigh. If the prince was so annoyed why didn’t he just leave? He wanted to be alone where there was nobody to judge him. For once in his life, he wanted to be in the shadows, away from prying eyes. “Do you want to hear a story?” Harry asked, his soft voice coming muffled through the thick door.

Louis blinked. “Yes” He returned in a small voice, hesitant. He remembered when his mother used to tell him stories. He loved watching her as she serenaded him with soft and loud voices, sometimes deep, sometimes high. He had laughed as she tried to imitate each and every character for him. He had never gotten too old for them but his father seemed to think otherwise.

“Once upon a time,” The prince began, his deep voice regaling Louis. “there lived a little boy as innocent as a new-born mare.”

A/N: I hope you liked the chapter! I hope it wasn't overly dramatic. I'm sorry for the panic attack I really am. Louis deserves so much more better.

I'm excited for you guys to hear the story. Also, we're 10k into the fic and we finally got some progress in their relationship. Let's see what happens next! XD