Chapter 14

—Tris

"Come on, little man, it's time to get up!" I pull back the covers on Tom's bed, laughing at how he got his hatred of mornings from me. Tobias has been up for hours now drinking coffee, checking the news, walking Indy, and who knows what else as Tom and I laid around.

As I leave Thomas's bedroom I hear his little feet hit the floor. Indy hears him as well, running towards his room to greet him.
Tobias had to go down to the main building to send out some emails this morning so he isn't home this morning. I don't get why he has to because he took off of work today, but according to him he forgot to send them yesterday.

As for me, I feel like I'm finally getting off my feet since being home from the hospital. I mean, it's been over two months now since I've been home, and this recovery has been so different than my past recoveries.

I sigh, reaching for my coffee cup, my hands uncontrollably shaking. I grasp the warmth in my hands but decide against lifting it off the table so I don't spill it everywhere.
They say this is a side effect of being off the oxycodone and that it should die down soon, but it's taking too long for my liking to do so. 

I know I need to be easier on myself; it's literally my first full week off of the meds and it's going to take time to get over it. I just keep getting these tastes of normal life, then I start shaking, or I start itching, or I get a crazy migraine that stops it all because of being off the oxycodone.
But it's okay.
I'm fine, Thomas is fine, Tobias is fine, Indy is making a mess that I need to clean up so he's fine. We're a family again, so that's all that really matters.
If my hands shake forever, so be it. At least I have my family.

"Come on, you know better than this." I shake my head at Indy as I pick up the stuffing from his toy that he scattered all over the living room. He doesn't mind my comment, and his head barely lifts from the ground where he lays as I talk.

"Pick out your clothes, Thomas," I call, knowing the likelihood of him actually picking his clothes was slim. "Mommy and Daddy have to leave in less than an hour, and you get to see grandma today!"

Today's a good day.
Caleb and Cara have been thinking about moving ever since Bea turned three. They've wanted to stay in the city, but they wanted something bigger than their apartment in Erudite. Once people started making business building beautiful homes between the inner city and the wall, they both immediately looked into buying one.
What's even more special: they convinced my parents to move in with them.
My parents have been starting to show their age recently, and they haven't been fond of living so far away in abnegation when their grandkids are closer to the other side of the city.

In their new house, Caleb and Cara are going to be closer to us than they already were, which was about a ten minute drive. My parents were about twenty minutes from them, give or take. This way, they are going to live in a beautiful and spacious house, and it's not too far from Dauntless headquarters either.

Tobias and I did briefly consider moving to one of the newly built homes in what's called the Suburban area, but we decided it wasn't really a possibility for us. We both work localized in the compound, all of our friends are here, and with Tobias as a leader, we aren't even completely sure if he would be allowed to have an address outside of the compound. Of course, we could've found out if it was possible, but we decided it wasn't for us.

It wouldn't make sense to have my parents move to dauntless either. Although accommodations have been made and improved, it still really isn't a place for older people to navigate. There's still so many uneven floors, not sturdy railings, and I even worry about kids in the compound when their parents aren't watching them too closely.

Not to mention that my father would be completely miserable living in the dauntless compound.

It doesn't take long for Thomas to be dressed and dropped off at Evelyn's. We seriously considered bringing him along, but in the end we figured he'd get in the way and it would be hard to watch him.

"You ready?" I ask Tobias as he sips from his to-go cup of coffee.
"Let me get my shoes." He sets down the cup and goes into the bedroom. I kneel down to Indy's level to pet him.
"Sorry we're leaving you home alone again." I scratch behind his ear and he licks my chin.

Marlene has laughed at Tobias and I before because we talk to Indy as if he's a person occasionally. I don't find it weird, but she does.

I like to think that he understands what I'm saying. I know he doesn't, but I don't care.

"Are we picking up Will and Chris?" Tobias asks and I shake my head.
"They apparently went over last night to all hang out. They haven't seen each other in a while." I say.

We both head out of the apartment and down to the outside lot where Amar parks his truck.
I bite my cheek, a random twinge of pain shooting in the back of my calf. The pain stops as soon as it starts, but it's a constant reminder that I still need to be careful.
My doctor told me to not baby my leg though. I probably will have pain for the rest of my life because of nerve damage, but I need to work the muscles so I don't loose them as well.

I hoist myself up into the truck, starting with my right leg to bear the weight more on it than my left. Tobias climbs into the drivers side, and we start the drive to Caleb and Cara's old place.

I sigh, looking ahead to the road, my head completely empty. I feel Tobias's hand rest on top of mine, and I take the opportunity to lace my fingers with his.

He's quiet, which isn't abnormal for him, but since we haven't seen each other all morning it is kind of odd.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, surprised by how small my voice sounds.
He looks at me, clearly confused by how I chose to start the conversation.
"I know something's on your mind, Tobias. I can see it."

"I just don't want to get my hopes up." He shakes his head and I feel my heart beat harder.
"About what?"
"Tris, about one third of the Bureau troops left the fence this morning. We don't know why, we don't know if it's permanent, we don't know if that's good or bad news."

I feel my face grow hot, and I'm not sure out of excitement or anxiety.

"How could it not be good news?" I ask, wanting to know the worst first.

"I don't know. They could find a way to make it be bad news. I personally am thrilled because I think it's good news, I just—"

"It sounds too good to be true." I cut him off and he nods.

"Please don't be mad I didn't tell you right away. The fact that we aren't suppose to tell anyone wasn't stopping me from telling you, it's just that I didn't want you to get your hopes up like I already do."

"You don't have to protect me like this anymore, Tobias."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for caring about me though." I smile, his eyes coming off the road quickly to meet mine.

We are both silent for a while.
"It has to be too good to be true. Tobias, in September they said five more months. It's late November, not even December yet."

"That's what worries me." He's quiet for a few seconds before he speaks again. "We didn't do anything wrong, there's been no communication. They didn't even tell us that they were pulling some of the troops. It makes me wonder they were hoping we wouldn't notice, or that they're going to send replacements by the end of the day."

"When did the third leave?"

"Sometime between one and three this morning."
"So they didn't want us to notice," I state and he nods.

We pull into the Erudite compound, then make our way through the streets to their apartment building.

"We can't tell them about this though, Tris."

"Of course." I shake my head, the thought of telling them not even crossing my mind.

Tobias backs into a spot right out front of their apartment and puts the truck in park. I see in the rear view mirror Bea run out the door and I get out of the truck just in time to be tackled.

"Hey there!" I laugh, lifting her off the ground for the biggest hug. She laughs, the sound warming my heart.

Pretty soon she's going to be way too big for me to lift.
She's almost nine years old.
Where did the time go?

"You're going to have to let go so I can say hi to everyone else," I laugh as my niece clings to me. I let her down to the ground and we both follow Tobias into the apartment.

Caleb and Cara have some friends helping move boxes, and I manage to spot Will in the mess of boxes as well.

"Hey!" I turn around to see Cara smiling to greet me. "It's so good to see you!" She wraps me in a side hug, Layla occupying her one arm.

"What do you need us to do?" Tobias asks, also accepting Cara's hug as a greeting.

"We wanted to use your truck to get the mattresses from both here and Natalie and Andrew's. We have the furniture going in our friend's truck, but he can probably help you move them he's tall and strong." She laughs.

Caleb ends up pulling me away from the conversation before I get to meet the man that is helping Tobias. I forget that it's been since I was in the hospital that I've seen my brother as we wraps me in a hug.

"Please don't hurt yourself moving anything. I know you want to help and I appreciate that so much, it's just I can't stand seeing you go through that again and—"

"Caleb, it's fine. I'll be careful, I promise." I smile, unable to get upset over the fact that he cares about me.
"How are mom and dad doing with packing?"

"Oh, you know they don't have too much in that house," we both laugh at his statement. "Dad took off work this week and I think they had it packed up in under a day. We were just waiting on Tobias to help move some of the larger furniture in both houses."

"Where's Chris? I noticed she wasn't here when I looked around."

He bites his lip, clearly contemplating his words.
"She, well, she was here last night, then got upset by something that none of us are sure what, then got on the train and went back home. Rose was staying at her place because of bugs being removed at hers and she told us she came home and went to bed without even acknowledging her. I really think something is wrong with her, Beatrice."

I sigh, completely agreeing with him saying something is wrong.

Christina always has been self-centered. This side of her isn't her. Walking out, ignoring people, randomly getting upset and angry— it's just not her.

"Will stayed here once we heard she got home. He doesn't know what to do anymore. He can't talk her into getting help: none of us can. Layla is here with us though, and she gets extremely upset when she's not being held, so I'm sure you'll get your shift to hold her at least twice today." He smacks my arm playfully and I laugh.

I head into the kitchen and start helping a woman who claims she's a friend of Cara's with packing breakable plates and glasses. We wrap them in old newspapers and box them, and together finish the task pretty quickly.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn to see Cara still with Layla. "Is there any way you could feed her and help Bea pack in her room?" She asks and I nod.

"You really just have to feed her up there and keep Bea on task. She's almost done with her room, but she keeps getting distracted." She chuckles and hands me the baby and the bottle. I adjust my arms slightly and smile at the tan, smiley baby looking up at me.
I take her over across the living room and to the stairs that I would sit and stare at all day when I stayed here for a while.
All day I would lay on that couch in that living room and stare at the flight that went to the next floor. I was so bored of my surroundings, and all I wanted to do was have a change. But I couldn't climb the stairs, so I was stuck.

"Let's go find your cousin," I say to Layla as I go up the flight. The next floor is basically a hallway with doors to bedrooms and a small seating area that is still filled with Bea's toys.

"Hey Bea?" I call not sure which room is hers.

"Yeah?" I hear her further down the hall to the left and I follow the sound.
I open the first door on my left and find a completely empty room.
The next door is slightly cracked and I notice now that it's Bea's. She sits on the middle of her floor, a box next to her, but a bunch of toys on the ground around her.

"I'm hanging out with you while I feed Layla." I maneuver my way across the floor to sit on her twin sized bed.

I give the baby the bottle and she happily takes it. My mind goes right to when Thomas was this age, and I immediately remember how much I miss it.

"How is school going?" I ask her, trying to distract me from the fact that I can't have a baby of my own right now.

"It's good." She says and goes on to talk about all of her subjects and her teacher as she fills the box.
"Have you seen the new house yet?" I ask her and she nods.
"It's so big! My room is huge!" She says and I laugh.
"I get to see grandma and grandpa every day now!" She says and it makes me smile.

"You're going to get to see them more than me! I'm jealous!" I joke making her giggle.

"We're going to be closer to you now though! Will you come visit more?"

"Of course!" I smile. Layla coos from my arms and my attention is drawn back to her.

Her big eyes melt my heart as they look up at me. She's super tiny, to the point where her eyes seem out of proportion, but she's adorable.
I want my own, I laugh at my thoughts. But they're true.
I really can't wait to have another kid.

That's why Tobias didn't want to tell me when he said a third of the Bureau troops left. I am close to the two month mark of being off the oxycodone, and after that it is the troops leaving that we are waiting for before we try to conceive.

I just want everything to work.
I know it's a selfish thought, and I know I'm being inpatient.
I just want everything to be perfect for once, and I want it now.

I laugh in my head.
I can think whatever I want, but if it comes true or not really isn't in my control.

.

No, your eyes are not lying to you! I actually updated FYTC!

I didn't intend on going on like a 3 month break, but I was really busy and it had to happen.
I should be back for good now, but I'm not sure if we're going to jump right back into weekly updates.
To keep up with my life/ if you're ever confused why I'm not updating: read my blog/rant book Stop Sinking My Damn Boat (SSMDB for short). I explain everything that's going on/ why I'm so busy in there pretty frequently

Or if you just want specific short info about FYTC: check my message board in my profile and follow me for notifications when I post. If it's like Thursday or Friday and I know the chapter for the week isn't going to be done yet, I will post and let you know there if there is a change in schedule or there won't be a chapter that week.

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Thanks so much for sticking around during this break! I really do appreciate it so much.

All the love,
Kat ❤️