Halfie absolutely wiped the floor with his idiots on Saturday. He obviously didn't need help studying, but stayed and joined in anyway, probably just to shove his preparedness in their faces.

It was fucking hilarious.

He'd made dinner an hour later than usual, but it was fine and by then, he was quizzing his idiots on everything he shoved into their heads.

Then he stayed up until three in the morning studying his own stuff, needing to get the highest scores in class.

Sunday was better. He woke up early and ran for a few hours, then he worked out for two more and then got back to the dorms, showered and berated his idiots again, drilling facts into their heads and quizzing them after, making dinner on time and going to sleep at 2 am after studying for a few hours.

When he woke up on Monday, his arms and back were killing him. It was so cold outside and he hadn't done shit for his arms.

He really needs to massage them at least a little bit so that he doesn't crash and burn during the physical exam.

Kirishima wanted to walk to class together, so he had to make sure this idiot was actually ready on time because he didn't want to deal with running late. If Kirishima wanted to go together, they were going at Bakugo's usual time.

Since they've got exams today, he's only going to run for thirty minutes, so he gets ready for that, no light outside whatsoever.

As he's stretching outside, he gets a text, from Halfie, of course.

_______________
IcyHot

Are you up? I want to work out before
class.

I'm outside about to go on a run. It's cold as
fuck so you have 5 minutes

Going.

_______________

Rolling his eyes, Bakugo keeps stretching, annoyed at his aching muscles and stiff joints.

The idiot actually gets there in two minutes, so Bakugo can't complain. Especially since Todoroki immediately smiles at him after walking up to him.

He does that a lot now, which is insane because he never smiles, but now all he does is smile at Bakugo.

"Hurry up and stretch I wanted to run for thirty minutes," Bakugo says, turning away from him and stretching his arms.

As he stretches one side, he stretches like he usually does, but it stopped suddenly when a sharp pain run up his arm and down his back and he winces silently, not wanting to draw attention to himself.

Fuck that hurts.

He tries to stretch the same arm unnoticeably, just to ease the pain and give his muscles the stretch they deserve.

"I'm done stretching now."

Bakugo lets his arm drop and turns to the other. "Alright," he says, taking out his phone to set a timer for thirty minutes, "we'll start in 3, 2, 1."

They both start with a regular pace, not too fast but not too slow. IcyHot has longer strides and a better speed, but that's not Bakugo's usual pace so he's not going to try and keep up, it'll just hurt his body more than it already is and with exams, it's just not worth it.

About five minutes in, he notices Halfie is slowing down, run in by his side, breath even.

They don't talk for the entire run, and when the timer is at twenty minutes, they head back in the direction of the dorms.

By the time the thirty minutes are up, they're near the dorms, but walk the rest of the way as a cool down before they stretch in front of the building.

The sun is just starting to come up and next to him, he sees Todoroki standing and just taking in the view of the colors in the sky. The look on his face is calm and almost happy. Is it because of the view?

Bakugo turns away from Halfie, looking at the same veiw but unable to feel calm or happy.

Something is wrong with me, he thinks as he looks away, down at his running shoes that are getting worn out.

He feels worn out.

That empty pit in his chest is suffocating along with the guilt. He's also beyond frustrated with himself for being like this. Why is he falling apart this bad? He feels hopeless.

"Bakugo?"

Said teen looks up, meeting Todoroki's eyes.

"You ready for exams?"

There's doubt in Bakugo's chest. He's not good enough. He didn't study enough for exams and he's going to fail himself. He's not going to get the grade he was aiming for and he's going to end up third.

But he nods. "Of course I am, dumbass. I'm-"

gonna be number one.

Wow.

He hasn't said that in forever.

What sucks now is that he doesn't really mean it. He doesn't believe he's going to be number one anymore because he's not sure if he wants to be.

"Gonna be number one," he finishes, not looking at the face Halfie made at his brief pause.

"Come on," he starts, heading inside, "we gotta get ready so I can beat your ass during exams." He doesn't believe he will, but he can pretend. Especially if it makes Todoroki feel better.

Maybe it works, but he doesn't know because Halfie doesn't say anything. It's not until Bakugo gets off the elevator at his floor that Todoroki stops him, so he turns around and just as the doors are closing, Todoroki speaks.

"You're going to do amazing today. I believe that."

As soon as he's done talking, the doors are closed and Bakugo is left to stare at the slightly reflective silver of the doors.

He hopes the words are true.

~~~~~

They're let out early after the first exam day is over, allowing them lunch before they leave. Bakugo doesn't remember taking the exam at all and now he's sure he bombed it. If he can't remember what was on it? How can he have done good?

Anxiety claws at him as he tries to go on with his day acting normal. Acting confident.

God he's such an idiot. How could he not grasp anything he'd been going over all last week? He's such a disappointment.

"And that last question? Ugh, so easy," Kirishima says, shaking his head.

Bakugo is trying his best to think about what the question was. Fuck, all he knows was that today they took Art and Chemistry.

His skin is buzzing and he feels sick, clothes too tight. Not only that, but it's hot as fuck in here.

He needs some air, he decided and stands up, grabbing his tray and walking away without a word, deciding he's going back to the dorms. They've got math and history tomorrow and English on Wednesday.

Not only that, but he has to work out, but before he can do that, he needs Halfie to massage his arms for him and he doesn't know how to go about asking for that.

It seems weird and Bakugo hates awkward shit.

As soon as he's out of the building and the cold air hits him, he's hunching over, hands on his knees as he tries to catch the breath he didn't realize he was missing.

After a few minutes, he's back to his normal posture and on his way to get started on studying.

Since he had to build up the courage to even ask the Half'n'Half idiot, killing time by studying is the best way to go about it,

Shit, he doesn't even want to think about asking him. It's so embarrassing to think about.

He doesn't know what to do with his hands. They weren't allowed to take bags today because of exams, so all he has is his regular pencil in his pocket, the other pocket holding his phone.

Once he's in his room, adrenaline calming slightly, he forces himself to get his studying session going instead of getting into bed like he so desperately wants to.

The issue is, he can't afford that right now. With how bad he did today, he knows he can't just not study tonight, then he'd flunk out of the hero course and become some loser bum that couldn't make it all because he decided to stay in bed for one day.

That was not going to be his life story.

He works on getting in the mindset for two minutes before he takes a deep breath and gets started on history. He's pretty confident in his math abilities, but he will get to that later.

The place where his pencil rests on his finger starts hurting sometime in between reviewing everything and it only gets worse as time goes on.

It's like that for hours until his alarm rings.

He didn't even remember putting one on, so as he reaches into his pocket, he sighs, stretching his back in the process and feeling the relief of sitting up straight again since he was hunched over his damn desk like he had been all day.

His eyes pass over the time briefly as he turns off the alarm before they're racing back to the three digits on the top corner of his screen.

8:00

What the fuck?

Dammit, he was supposed to get started on math at 6.

With an annoyed grunt, he's standing up and stretching his arms the best he can without hurting himself.

Oh shit, that reminds him he needs to text Halfie.

Ugh, he really doesn't want to have to ask.

_______________
IcyHot

Halfie, come to my room after dinner. My
arms hurt

_______________

Okay, he knows that's not asking, but it feels better for his ego to just demand instead of asking.

Maybe he should work on that, but not this week. He's got too much shit going on and he feels like he might actually keel over in exhaustion soon. It's dramatic because he's only been cramming for a week, but he's really damn over this.

The best this about this week will be Friday when he can visit his mom all damn day without having to worry about a curfew and making dinner for the class.

That caused a smile to form on his face.

He can't wait.

A buzz from his phone has him looking at the screen.

_______________
IcyHot

Okay. Will you make soba?

No. Maybe tomorrow

Okay.

_______________

He fights an eye roll before he's out the door and walking down the stairs.

Honestly, he forgot who's pick of dinner he was making, so he checks his phone, looking at the messages in the class groupchat, trying to remember by the texts of requests before he spots Deku's pick.

Oh yeah, he had picked Deku's shitty choice for dinner.

Gross.

As soon as he's in the kitchen, he gets started. Of course this nerd chose Katsudon as his pick.

It's simple enough to get it done quickly, so he hurries through it. While cooking is usually a stress reliever, having to take time away from reviewing and studying to cook was making him more anxious than calm.

All he can think about is what he could be doing the entire time.

Things he should be doing.

Dammit and he's going to waste more time after dinner because he had to actually care for his damn arms since that's what his ability relies on.

The second he's done making dinner, he texts Iida about the food and books it upstairs, not wanting to get bombarded in his escape. He wants to at least get started on math before he gets his massage. Especially since he also has to work out tonight.

He's sure he's gone over math for at least thirty minutes before there's a knock on his door.

A quick look at his phone tells him he's right and it's that it's probably Todoroki at his door.

As soon as he opens the door, Halfie is walking in without being told he's allowed in the room. Stupid Halfie.

"Hello, I'm sure you're busy, so maybe we should hurry."

Finally, someone who's up to his speed. He only wants to spend thirty minutes doing this. Even thirty is a push, but he's being reasonable with the time and how bad his muscles are doing.

"How are you doing?" Todoroki asks as Bakugo takes off his sweater.

He knows he's asking because of the last time they did this. It's embarrassing, but he knows Todoroki is trying to preserve his dignity by not outright mentioning it.

"I'm fine. My arms just hurt and I can't have them this bad for the physical exam."

They both sit cross cross in front of each other first, Todoroki starting with his hands and arms.

The idiot starts off by putting lotion in his hands and warming it up before starting at his palms, pushing up and out with his thumbs, which holy shit, feels amazing for his aching hands.

His head falls forward to hide his face and he closes his eyes, squeezing them when something hurts before Todoroki massages a knot out.

"How were the exams for you today? It looked like you didn't hesitate. At least, every time I looked up, you didn't. I'm slightly jealous."

Bakugo's huffs. He doesn't even remember the first question on the first exam.

So he shrugs. "Don't know. Can't remember," he admits. Again, he's not sure why he tells Todoroki the truth. This guy is just someone he feels he can open up to. Maybe not too much like he had before, but for things like this that he won't tell other people.

God, he feels so stupid for dumping all his mom stuff on him.

"I'm sure you did great. I'd even bet money that you got a perfect score on at least one of them."

Bakugo smiled faintly at the words, feeling somewhat prideful, but not letting it affect him too much. Todoroki's finger digs into this one spot and his whole hand twitches, a hiss leaving his lips as the pain shoots up his arm.

Ow, fuck.

"I'm sorry, that spot is- wow, your arms are not doing well," Todoroki says, being a little more careful with his arms, but massaging the knot out.

It does take a few minutes for that one spot, but he knows that tomorrow when he wakes up, he's definitely going to feel the difference.

Damn, he can't wait to get his shoulder massaged. They hurt bad compared to his arms now that Todoroki is halfway done with his arms.

"It's fine," Bakugo answers a second later.

The cream he's using smells nice. It's the same one as last time.

He tries not to think too much about his mom in this moment and thinks about the studying he has to do. Maybe two more hours of math and then three hours of training.

It sucks that it's cold out, but he can deal. It's not too bad and he'll have to fight when it's cold whether he likes it or not, anyway.

His head stays down and his eyes stay closed even as Todoroki moves towards his upper arms.

"Okay, you should lay down now. Face up first."

It's quiet the rest of the time. Small hisses of pain when Todoroki digs into a really bad spot and small commands from Todoroki.

It's longer than thirty minutes, but as soon as Todoroki is done, Bakugo has to convince himself that sleep isn't an option right now. After today's exam, he needs to be more than prepared for tomorrow. If he fails any of these exams, he doesn't know what he'd do.

"I don't have time to make mochi this week, so I'll just order you some from this place that actually has decent mochi. Is that fine?" He asks once Todoroki is up and getting ready to go.

At the words, he smiles.

"Yes, that's perfect. Thank you, Bakugo."

"Shut it and leave."

With a nod, the tall idiot leaves and Bakugo is left with slightly better arms and back. He won't feel the full relief tonight, but tomorrow, he's going to wake up a new person.

As soon as he's had a few breaths, he's seated at his desk and picking his math workbook back up.

~~~~~

A knocking on his door has him shooting up and reaching for his phone.

Of course, his phone is dead, though, so instead he rushes to the door and throws it open, meeting Kirishima's tired face.

Then Kirishima's face morphs into one of shock.

"Dude, we're late. I was wondering why you hadn't come to get me and you didn't answer. We got ten minutes till the first bell," he rushed out and in a silent panic, Bakugo slams the door shut and feels his heart pounding in his chest.

What is wrong with him? Why is he being so careless? He didn't even get a chance to go work out, he fell asleep doing his math review.

Fuck, he's so fucked.

He rushes to brush his teeth before he's spraying on some deodorant and messily throwing on his uniform, feeling like a madman as he buttons up his shirt because why the fuck does this shirt have so many fucking buttons?

As he rushes to grab a pencil, he also grabs his dead phone for some reason and runs out, not even looking for his room keys.

"Fuck fuck fuck," he mutters under his breath, panting as he hurries to class.

There's no way he's making it before the exam starts. God, he's such an idiot. How did he let this happen? He's so fucking stupid.

Tears prick at his eyes as he runs, angry at himself because of the situation.

Halfway there, he realizes he forgot his blazer as the cold pricks at his skin.

As soon as he's running through the halls, the warm air hits him and he's left shivering away the cold, feet hitting the ground hard. As he gets closer to the door, he slows down, trying to catch his breath and keeping the tears away, even if it's just for a bit.

The halls were empty and it was so quiet, Bakugo just knew he was late.

He throws the door open, passing whatever teacher was at the front, not exactly sure who it was until they spoke up.

"Welcome, Bakugo. Feel free to get started. History exam is first and you've got an hour and forty five minutes left," Aizawa explains.

He just nods as he sits down, not paying attention to the eyes on him, as his vision becomes blurry with tears. He just opens up his exam, pulls out his pencil, and gets started.

He's so mad at himself.

~~~~~

Although his time was spread thin, he decided to go to therapy today despite not wanting to. He knows it'll help him a lot today after that shit show of a morning.

Aizawa had even pulled him back after the first exam today to ask if he was alright, pointing out his lack of blazer and mentioning the tears when he'd first arrived. First of all, why the fuck would he mention the tears? What an asshole.

Okay, he knows that he was worried, he's just embarrassed right now and he was earlier, too, brushing the man off and telling him to leave him alone.

It's none of his business.

Sure he accidentally got a few years on the paper, but it's fine, they'll dry by the time they get to grading.

"How have exams been so far?"

Bakugo takes a deep breath, feeling himself get emotional as she shakes his head.

"There's no shame in crying, Bakugo. This is a stressful time for you. On top if your grief, you've got exams, and I know you're worried about talking to your dad."

He finally lets go, a sob tearing its way through his throat, leaving him hiding his face in his arms as he shivers from the cold and emotion rolling through him. Fuck this week has sucked so bad.

And there's that stupid word again. Grief.

Fuck that doesn't apply to him. That's not what he's doing. He's not grieving.

But he cries anyway, not even trying to stop himself this time. Just feeling the relief of letting go and finally allowing himself to cry like this. His breaths are choppy and he's hunched over, hiding himself.

This fucking sucks.

He's just so tired.

"I don't know what to do," he cries, voice cracking and wet.

He sniffles harshly, not looking up at all because he knows he's got snot running down his face.

That's when he's wrapped in a nice warm blanket, a box of tissues put in his lap.

"You're doing great, Bakugo. Really amazing. Let it all out," Hound Dog says, voice soft.

Bakugo's grabs two tissues and wipes his face as he continues sobbing. Throwing those away in the trash bin next to the table before grabbing more tissues to blow his nose.

The blanket is amazing. Super warm and soft along with being a nice weight on him.

"I fucking lost track of time and my phone was dead so I woke up late today and got there late. It was so damn embarrassing and I hustled can't believe I let myself fall asleep like that last night. And then I just overslept? Am I fucking stupid? I'm such an idiot," he rants, beyond angry at himself.

He cries harder when he thinks about his mom, curling into himself even further.

"I'm letting her down. I know I am and all I'm trying to do is make her proud. Instead I'm here, thinking about dying. I'm weak. I'm so fucking weak and I'm trying to get stronger, but I'm failing at that. I can't even go a little bit without having to get someone to massage my arms because of the kickback of my quirk."

He shakes his head as his sobs wrack through him.

"I don't know how to become something she'd be proud of when she's not here to see it. It's not fair," he cries, voice becoming quieter at the end.

Hound Dog hands him a stuffed animal before he goes to sit back down at his desk.

"I know it'll take a while for you to understand, but you're running yourself into the ground trying to exceed impossible expectations. You're setting up insane goals for yourself and when you don't meet them, you berate yourself and use your guilt as a punishment."

He blows his nose again, cringing at the nasty sound of it.

Hound Dog's words bounce around in his mind. Is that true? Is he actually just hurting himself by creating impossible goals?

"I know you're not doing it on purpose. I can tell, but right now it's really taking its toll on you and it's my job to stop that. You carry around so much guilt when you shouldn't. I can't tell you how to feel, but I can say it's not your fault. All that guilt you hold, it's not right. Especially when adults in your life go around placing that guilt onto you."

Is he talking about his dad?

"My dad isn't a bad person," Bakugo defends, looking up for the first time, "he- he's just going through a tough time. He's a good dad."

"Putting guilt on a grieving kid is not-"

"I'm not grieving," he snaps, "I don't get the right, okay? I don't get the benefit of being able to grieve. It's my fault. I'm fucking useless and pathetic. I don't know why I'm wasting my time here when I know I'll never be a real hero."

He's standing now, blanket thrown on the couch, and tears slowing.

"Bakugo," Hound Dog calls, voice a calm tone that pierces through Bakugo's foggy mind.

He looks up at the other who's also standing.

"Please sit down. Relax, and listen to what I'm saying, okay?"

The blond has no idea why, but the tone of his voice has him listening, feeling dumb for his little outburst.

"You are one of the most promising students I have ever seen here at UA. Even through this hardship, you've excelled in your classes and continued to show promise in this field. Just here in therapy, you've improved so much. Opening up like this is amazing."

Bakugo feels a little silly reacting to the praise by looking away and feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Bakugo, you deserve to grieve. This was your mom. That's one of the most important people in your life. It's such a horrible thing to have the ability to grieve taken away. No one should have any say in that. No matter how guilty you feel, you have the right to grieve. Now, speaking of the guilt, you have not done anything to make you guilty."

Air is pushed out of Bakugo's lungs as Hound Dog continues, letting the blond feel like he can breathe.

He's felt this weight in his chest ever since his mom died and this is the first time since then, that he feels like he can breathe.

The man noticed the tears and immediately asks what happened.

"I can breathe."

***
Word Count: 4192
Yall. Exams? Wtf. Exams have been insane and I got two more this week and also events for my org on top of homework and job searching, then next week I have an interview for an internship that I NEED. I NEED THIS INTERNSHIP TO GRADUATE. Since I'm a business major, my school requires for all business majors to have an internship and yall this school is competitive 😭 this is my first ever interview and I'm terrified. Ugh and I've also been trying to get more involved in this org I've been in since freshman year (I'm a junior) so all these events they got have me going crazy istg. Anywayyyy I hope y'all liked this chapter. Next one will go up next Sunday at 11:30 pm central time (from 11:30 to 11:59 pm lol). I love you all and tysm for reading<3