He's suffocating actually.

He got through English yesterday, having Todoroki massage his arms that night, too, but the physical exam is no joke. Ectoplasm has him held down, face underwater and he's thrown back to the sludge villain, not being able to move and drowning.

As soon as he feels Ectoplasm falter, he's up and aiming a blast at the teacher, pausing when he sees IcyHot in front of him, hands out in front of him defensively, showing Bakugo he's empty handed.

He's panting, throat burning from the water that he inhaled.

"We did it," the other says, smiling ever so lightly. He puts a hand on Bakugo's shoulder which slightly helps, which is when Kaminari comes skipping along with a wide smile.

Ugh.

"Great work, guys. Really, you were exceptional," Kaminari compliments as if he had the biggest role in the win.

It would have been Bakugo if he hadn't choked at the end. Literally. He takes a breath, calming down slightly when he tells himself that he's fine and the sludge villain is in prison.

The exam was in groups of four.

Speaking of, where the fuck is- oh, there she is.

Cheeks comes running up, panting. Some dirt on the side of her face and a small gash on her forehead.

Once they've all gotten together, they start heading towards the main area where the rest of their class is. Bakugo is glad he just got through it. Sure, he could have done way better and he's pissed at himself for the end, having to be saved by Halfie, but he's tired.

He just wants to go home, see his dad, and relax in his own house where he won't be bombarded with idiots.

"Amazing job all of you, congratulations on passing. First off," the man starts, explaining what each person can improve on. Bakugo's listens vaguely and nods when Aizawa gives him his feedback.

He's going to make dinner as soon as they're set free and then he's booking it to his house, excited to talk to his dad. He's also nervous as fuck because his dad doesn't seem to care about his feelings, but, honestly, he just sounds fucking weak for that.

Boo hoo his dad disregarded his feelings.

Millions of people go through that and Bakugo is here just being over dramatic.

Soon enough, his team is let go and he rushes to leave, deciding the shower first so that he doesn't make dinner too early. He'll pack his stuff and all that, too before he starts making dinner.

As soon as he makes his way to the door, his name is called and he has to force back a curse.

Angrily, he turns around to look at the man who called him.

"Come here for a second," he says, waving his hand over once. There's about an hour until the other teams are done, so he has some time to kill anyway.

When he's standing in front of the man, the teacher looks around, making sure no one is close by or listening.

"You're going home tonight, right?"

Aizawa looks worried, which is weird as hell since the man is usually so hard to read. Annoyance doesn't count.

"Yeah. I already got your permission so there's no take backs," the blond glares, feeling anger creep up even more as he tries to figure out why the man is worried about him going home.

"I'm not going to take it back. I'm just wondering how you're doing. How are you and your dad?"

Who does he think he is?

"It's none of your business. Leave me alone."

The blond turns around and leaves after that, not caring about whatever he has to say to that. He's not in charge of what Bakugo's personal life should look like or be.

All Bakugo needs him to be is his teacher.

He's got a dad.

He slows his pace as he walks to the locker rooms to get changed before he's off to the dorms, still not speeding up.

On his way to the locker room, he takes deep breaths of the fresh air, feeling the ache in his body. It hurts all over and if he breathes too deep, there's a sharp pain on his left side.

Recovery Girl wouldn't mind if he paid her a visit. He hates it, but she loves to dote on him and make sure he's okay. She started doing that after she found out his mom died and she takes great joy in it, so Bakugo knows he won't be annoying if he goes to her to get healed before he goes to clean up.

Deciding that's the best option, he changes direction and heads to the nurse's office.

He's there in minutes, Recovery Girl lighting up when she sees him and guilt wells up in Bakugo at the happiness he feels at the woman's obvious glee at his arrival.

"Come here, Bakugo. Tell me, what's the matter? Is it that exam? I hope All Might didn't go all out like he did last time," she tuts, patting the bed for him to sit down.

"Nothing that bad, just some shitty ache in my ribs," he waves off.

It's really not as bad as first year. That shit was insane. All Might was scary as hell.

She eyes him at the curse word, but ultimately lets it go, motioning for him to lift his shirt, which he does right away, a little hard since his costume was skin tight.

In doing so, he reveals a huge purple and yellow bruise up his left side, causing Recovery Girl to wince at the sight.

"It's definitely not as bad as your first year, but still, you gotta work on that defense, kiddo," she scolds, ruffling his hair. It causes a surge of even more guilt to fill his chest, but he shoves it aside, basking in the attention.

"Whatever, just fix me up so I can go home sooner," he says with an eye roll.

She sighs before pushing him back so he's resting on the bed and kissing his hand, immediately filling him with exhaustion and relief at the loss of pain in his body.

Sure, Halfie can massage, but nothing is better than having the pain completely taken away.

"Drink this and finish that candy bar before you go to sleep," Recovery Girl demands, putting the two items in his hands.

He complies, not having the energy to argue. The juice box is down in a second and the candy bar takes a few bites to finish before he's out, letting her know to wake him up in fifteen minutes.

She argues for a few seconds before she relents, agreeing to his terms as long as he actually gets some sleep.

~~~~~

He's at the dorms all showered up and cooking dinner an hour later, about ten minutes into the meal. It shouldn't take that much longer and he'll be home by six at this rate. Six thirty if he eats, which hasn't been the case recently.

Hound Dog had said it was him grieving, and although he accepted the term then, he still feels like he shouldn't get the right.

It feels horrible to think about, but he's sure that he is grieving. Apparently people in mourning lose their appetite and sleep, and Bakugo knew this. He knew that people who lost someone go through this shit, but he tried to deny it.

Now, he's a little more open to go through that.

It sucks. His stomach growls but he lacks the ability to feel hungry and he's so fucking tired all the time and it's either he sleeps all damn day or doesn't sleep for days. There's no in between.

His body has been desperately trying to fix that, which was why he accidentally fell asleep that one night and was late for his exam.

Whatever, the issue is that he hasn't felt hunger in a while and he's not actually sure when the last time he ate was.

It could have been yesterday and he just doesn't remember, but he doesn't really care. Maybe he'll make breakfast for him and his dad tomorrow before he heads out to see his mom.

And maybe his dad will join him then.

Okay, he hasn't ever before, but maybe he's at a stage when he can finally go visit Mitsuki's grave.

It would be great to have his dad join him, even if it's for a couple of minutes. His mom loved Masaru and she'd probably be hurt at how his dad has never gone to see her.

Not only that, but Masaru hasn't even contacted Bakugo in a while.

At the thought, Bakugo stops what he's doing, growing worried. What if his dad is hurt? What if he's not okay? Fuck, what if his dad is dead?

Fuck.

He throws the knife on the counter, picking up his phone and dialing his dad's number as he walks outside, needing some air and privacy so he could talk to his dad.

The phone rings for the longest time and the longer it rings, the more he's filled with dread.

His dad is dead.

The call goes to voicemail.

His dad is dead.

He calls again.

His dad is dead.

"Katsuki?"

The breath Bakugo lets out is life changing.

"Dad? Dad. Are you okay? Why-" he catches the breath he didn't know he lost, "are you okay?"

He feels dumb, knowing he already asked if he was okay, but he didn't want to start a fight by asking why Masaru hadn't answered. For some reason his dad has been irritable lately. Or, he was the last few times they had spoken.

"Katsuki, it's been a while. How are you, son?"

Something is off, but Bakugo can't tell what. Maybe it's just that he feels awkward since they haven't spoken in a while.

"I'm good, dad. I missed you. I'll be home soon, okay? I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

His dad clears his throat on the other end, coughing lightly.

"The weather has got me coughing, but other than that, I'm great, son. I've got some great pieces for the next drop and that intern I got a while back has really stepped up his game," his dad says.

Bakugo is glad, but he's a little hurt.

Did his dad not miss him?

A fake laugh leaves Bakugo's mouth just as the wind causes him to shiver, he hadn't put on a sweater after showering.

"That's great dad. I'll have to see those pieces myself. Will you show them to me?"

A happy hum greets him from the other end and he's left frowning down at the ground, cold air leaving him shivering more openly now.

"Of course, Katsuki. Oh-" there's some background noise, just some papers rustling, "but I do have to go. I'll talk to you soon."

The call drops just after, not leaving Bakugo to respond and not even saying goodbye properly.

A wave of sadness rolls over him as he's left alone outside, phone pressed up to his ear with no one on the other end.

At least his dad is okay, he reasons, picking himself back up and pocketing his phone, walking back inside to finish cooking. He should be done fairly soon and on his way home.

His stuff was already packed and ready to go for the break. He was eager to spend some time with his dad even if it was a little tense right now.

When he walks back in, Halfie is at the kitchen island, sitting down. When he spots Bakugo, he waves and greets him, smiling the tiniest bit like always.

"Hello, Bakugo. Were you outside? It's cold out and you don't have a sweater," he points out.

Bakugo shrugs, getting back to the meal.

"Yeah, it was only for a quick call. I wasn't even out there for five minutes before your weird ass decided to spawn in here like if I was making soba. I made that the other day."

The taller nods.

"You did and it was delicious. Thank you."

Bakugo scoffs.

"It always is."

Todoroki nods, agreeing again. "Of course. I can never eat other soba without comparing it to yours now. You've spoiled me."

"Don't get used to it. I'll go back to never making soba for you again."

The other pouts, looking away.

That causes amusement to well up in Bakugo. Something different from the guilt. It feels good and Bakugo wished he felt that more.

"I'm just playing, dumbass. I don't know how you'll survive two weeks without my cooking. You might die."

Halfie groans dramatically. Nothing like his usual self. It's funny.

"Don't remind me. I guess I'll just have to bother you at your house. That way you don't miss me and I don't have to see my dad's dumb face."

He glares at him, automatically declining that thought.

"No fucking way. You better not bother me when I'm supposed to be free from all you idiot extras."

Halfie gives another smile. "I know you don't mean that."

He just sighs, shaking his head and denying him a response.

Todoroki has actually been doing well with keeping up a conversation, even when Bakugo doesn't participate in it and has to get the conversation going.

"Would you kick me out if I did pay you a visit?"

Bakugo just shrugs, unsure of how to answer that and also not really wanting to.

That's another thing Todoroki does now, though. He learned to ask yes or no questions so that Bakugo could either nod, shake his head, or shrug. That way Todoroki got what he wanted and Bakugo didn't have to talk.

Then Todoroki looks around and makes his voice even quieter when he realizes no one is around.

"And are you doing okay?"

Bakugo sighs, giving a weak shrug and a nod, he's not really sure. He feels more relieved now that exams are over, but he still has the anxiety about everyone he's ever cared about dying.

Then there's his dad, which- okay he seems fine, but Bakugo feels like something is wrong, and Bakugo is usually right about how he feels, so the anxiety is not getting better.

"That's okay. I'm glad you're not straight out lying," he says, voice still so damn quiet, Bakugo has to strain his ears to understand exactly what he's saying.

Todoroki decides to back off after that which Bakugo greatly appreciates. But that's not really anything new. The Half'n'Half idiot usually doesn't even get this far when it comes to digging in Bakugo's business. He usually only does it when he knows Bakugo is not entirely opposed to talking about this shit.

It's weird, but it's like he's got a sixth sense for it.

But, yes, Todoroki only asks about two or three extra questions before he backs off completely if he even decides to go ahead and ask questions.

It's rare when he does, but it does happen.

It's quiet the rest of the time, Bakugo getting lost in the steps like always as Todoroki just watches with interest.

As soon as dinner is done, he's out of the kitchen and on the elevator, texting Iida that dinner is ready after serving Todoroki.

He throws on a long sleeved shirt and then a sweater before he's out of the dorm building and on his way home, readying himself for a conversation with his dad.

~~~~~

The lights are on when he gets home which caused him to stop and listen, wondering exactly where his dad is.

It smells weird in here as he steps in evens further, met with the nasty sight of the kitchen.

There are trash bags around the table and next to the trash can, which is overflowing, there are some flies around and he swats a few away as he disregards that and heads further into the house, wondering where exactly his dad is.

"Dad?"

There's no noise in the house other than the pesky flies, but he treads carefully, unsure about whether or not anyone can pop out at him. The door was unlocked after all.

No one calls back to him as he heads to his dad's office.

"Hello?"

Still, no one responds and he grows wary as he enters his dad's office, which also has the light on.

That's when he sees his dad's body thrown on the floor with a bottle in his hand, not moving.

He runs over frantically, immediately checking for a pulse and sighing in relief when he feels the steady beat.

"Dad, hey, wake up. Let's get you to bed," he instructs, shaking his dad lightly.

He doesn't want to jostle him too much because he'd hate to also have to clean up vomit among everything else in this house. The issue is more apparent when his dad doesn't move.

"Dad?"

He shakes a little harder, his leg and arm more than anything else because, again, cleaning up vomit is not something he wants on his to do list.

It's when he pokes his dad's cheeks that the man finally opens his eyes.

It takes a second, but eventually, his dad's eyes find his and Bakugo feels relief at the amount of awareness in them. Then he sees recognition as his dad realizes who he is.

Sure, his awareness is not all there, but it's much better than he expected.

"Mitsuki?"

His dad sits up, reaching out for him as Bakugo pulls back slightly and cringes. His dad is mistaken. Mom is dead. I'm not mom.

He shakes his head.

"No, dad. It's me. It's Katsuki," he clarifies, not wanting his dad to keep thinking that since it'll hurt more the longer it goes on.

His dad's face changes slightly, morphing into anger.

That's not a sight that Bakugo is used to. Not at all. Anger does not belong on hid dad's face. Especially not when it's directed towards him for something he can't control.

He doesn't mean to look so much like his mom.

"Why are you here?" The man asks bitterly, getting up slowly, and still stumbling quite a bit, slapping Bakugo's hand away when he tries to help.

"I told you I'd be home soon. I wanted to see you," he explains, wondering why his dad is so angry at him.

"Well, I didn't want to see you. Just- Katsuki, don't bother me okay? I have work to do and I can't have you around right now," he says, shuffling away.

A heavy weight settles in Bakugo's chest.

Maybe if he'd pretended to be Mitsuki for a minute his dad would've been happy to see him. Even if it wasn't really Katsuki that Masaru was happy to see.

Instead, Bakugo just watches as his dad leaves the room and heads for his bedroom. He stands there for a couple more minutes before shaking his head and sighing.

He didn't mean that, he's just drunk and grieving. In the morning, Bakugo will cook and clean and his dad will be better.

Then maybe they can talk and spend time together like Bakugo has been wanting to do for a while.

It's the only thing keeping Bakugo going as he takes his stuff to his room and lays down, not really wanting to do anything except sleep now. He has a long day tomorrow and he needs to get all the rest he can get.

Tomorrow his dad will be happy to see him.

***
Word Count: 3255
I have TWO interviews tomorrow and I'm freaking out, idk why I scheduled them for the same day but at least they'll be over and done with sooner 🙂‍↕️ I'm actually really nervous oml AAAHHH HELPP AAAAHHHHHH 😋 ones for an internship which is at 10 am and the other one is for this thrift store near my school at 3 pm which is so funny to me cause it's like😭😭 the interviews are for two REALLY different roles. Ones all businessy and techy and the other is quirky and fashiony😭. anywaayyyy I hope y'all liked this chapter. The next one will go up around 11:30 pm central time (before 12 am at least) and around 3000-6000 words. I love you all and tysm for reading <3