He woke up early the next morning filled with dread but also excitement. Depending on his dad's mood today, he's going to decide whether or not it would be a good idea to invite him to see his mom.

As soon as he's ready for the day, he's heading to the kitchen, making sure to be quiet. His dad was drunk as hell last night and he's probably still dead asleep.

The mess in the kitchen is actually disgusting, it smells, and the flies are annoying.

It's still really early and he knows his dad won't be up for a couple more hours, so he gets to cleaning. He starts by taking out the trash bags that are just laying around.

Already, the smell is getting better, so to completely fix that, he starts throwing away rotten food and bottles of liquor.

That doesn't take too long, so in minutes, he's cleaning the counters before washing the dishes.

The dishes are what's going to take forever. After that, he'll sweep and mop and light a few candles to make the smell go away.

He finds it calming, especially after he puts in some earbuds and starts listening to music, being sure to leave one out and keeping an ear out for his dad. Bakugo would hate to find out he fell or something without him knowing.

After some time, he's finally done cleaning the kitchen.

The living room needs a little bit of work, but there's no trash or empty bottles lying around anymore, so he's pretty satisfied with that.

The breakfast he's making allows him to step away from the stove for a bit, so he can clean the living room up quickly before he finishes.

In the middle of cooking breakfast, he'll take his dad a Gatorade and some aspirin.

He makes something light. He's not hungry and he's sure his dad won't be able to eat anything heavy, either. He'd hate to have his dad even more mad at him.

About halfway through the meal, he grabs a Gatorade from the messy fridge and heads to his dad's room, knocking lightly and walking in when he doesn't hear a single thing from the other side.

His dad is lying on his stomach, arm hanging off the bed and face squished into a pillow. He's snoring lightly, barely making any noise, and stays unmoving. It's a little funny, but Bakugo's amusement completely fades away when he remembers last night and how his dad might be upset to see him.

Then the guilt is back.

The living room and kitchen are all clean, swept, and mopped. Breakfast is on the stove and he's got stuff for his dad's hangover. Maybe he won't be mad anymore. He was just drunk last night and didn't mean what he said.

"Dad," he whispers, not usually one to be so quiet, but since his mom died, he's changed a bit.

Masaru does not stir.

Bakugo starts shaking his arm while calling him again, hoping he wakes up in a better mood than yesterday.

"You gotta take this and come downstairs."

His dad grumbles. Turns his face around.

"Dad, wake up," he tries again.

There's a huff before his dad is turning back around and giving him a bored look.

Okay he's not happy to see him.

"What do you want, Katsuki? I don't have time for you right now."

For you.

"Take this. It'll help with the headache. Then come down for breakfast, it's almost done," Bakugo tells him, putting the pills and drink on the bedside table.

The man just turns back around, reeking of sweat and alcohol.

"Alright. Now go."

Bakugo listens, letting the guilt keep him subdued. Usually, he'd be mad at being treated like this, but it really hurts coming from his dad and he just wants the man to love him again.

For Masaru not to blame him.

He's quiet as he leaves and silent as he returns to the kitchen, lost in his thoughts.

Maybe he can do more. He's been a bad son, avoiding his dad and only thinking about himself. His dad is going through a rough time and the blond is being selfish.

He just needs to be better. That's all and then his dad won't be so mad at him.

The feeling that he's probably going to cry hits him, so he swallows and takes a deep breath, trying to stop it immediately. Breakfast is almost ready. Crying right now would be the worst thing ever.

What if Masaru came down and saw him? That would be pathetic and then his dad would probably be even more upset at him.

All he has to do is finish up, ask his dad about the clothing line he's all hyped up about, and then he's out the door and talking to his mom.

It's shitty because he wanted to spend the break with his dad, too. He wanted to be able to sit and talk or just watch TV together. Maybe ask why his dad blames him or exactly what Bakugo can do to be better.

"Mitsuki?"

His dad's voice pierces through him. The sound scared him because it came out of nowhere, but now it just makes him sad.

"No, dad," the blond says, turning around to find his dad walking towards him quickly before he sees his face and falters.

A piece of him breaks when his dad's face falls.

"Are you hungry? You need to eat something," Bakugo's tries, not wanting to dwell on his dad's error.

The man just nods, not saying another word as he sits down.

"Did you take the pain killer?"

Again, all he gets is a nod, so he turns back around and starts serving the food.

At least the man listened to him. He'd hate to have a defiant hungover man to take care of. Being in charge of a hungover man is already enough work, now imagine defiant.

Even though he's not in a fighting mood, he's still being weird towards Bakugo. Weird because the man isn't this way in the phone. He can speak to Bakugo just fine, but then he comes here and now the man is all shut down and turning away from him.

Now Masaru is telling him to stay out of his way and stop bothering him.

He wasn't like this before.

"Katsuki?"

He's immediately turning around and listening to his dad, wondering what he wants. Does he want to apologize? Spend time together?

"I'm working from home today, so if you could stay out or just in your room, that would be nice. We should talk, but it's a little hard for me right now. You understand, right?"

Bakugo is left nodding in silence. To try and keep his dad happy, he smiles a bit even though it hurts.

He turns around when his eyes start to get watery, cleaning his throat.

"I'm glad you want to talk. Just let me know when. I'll be out most of today and this weekend or however long you need. I'll be home at night to make dinner. You need to eat healthier," Bakugo says, trying to be calm about this.

"Thank you, Katsuki. I just- I don't like looking at you when you look so much like her."

Masaru is just digging the knife in deeper.

"I'm sorry," he says, voice low and genuine, "I promise not to be in your way until you wanna talk."

He'll stay away even if all he wants to do is be around his dad. Even if all he wants is a hug. Even if all he wants is to be able to fall apart and have his dad help put him back together. Even if he so desperately wants his dad back.

He serves them silently and gives his dad a plate.

"Can you send me some money?" He asks, needing money for this month in order to be able to buy his mom some flowers.

It's better to ask now because he decided he's going to eat in his room and then leave right after he gets ready.

"Yeah, I'll do it now."

The man takes out his phone and does exactly that, sending Bakugo money.

"I'm eating upstairs now. I love you dad, please let me know when you're ready to talk. I'm leaving after I eat," the blond says before he makes his way to leave.

His dad doesn't respond to him as he walks away. Not even giving Bakugo a much needed 'I love you'.

Something he hasn't heard in a long time.

~~~~~

"I'm not sure if dad will ever forgive me," Bakugo tells his mom.

He's wearing extra layers, also wrapped in a blanket while sitting on another blanket he brought.

His head is resting on the stone, something he's found quite comforting in the past few weeks.

The cold has him sniffling a bit.

"He doesn't like looking at me. He says I look too much like you. I-" he clears his throat, "I know he doesn't really mean it. I know he loves me and that I just need to give him more time. You were the love of his life and he lost you out of nowhere. I don't even know how he survived, so I'm just glad he's still here even if he's mad at me."

A big sigh leaves his lips as he looks up at the gray skies.

It better not rain or snow.

"I'd rather have him mad at me for the rest of my life than gone with you."

He feels panic build at his own words, but he breathes through it.

It's fine. He's okay. His breathing exercises will help him and he won't have a panic attack. Not for this. It's fine.

He tries talking himself through the small panic, using his techniques.

"I don't know if he'll ever get over you. You were the best. I'm sorry it was you and that you died alone. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you and couldn't be your hero when all you did was believe in me."

Tears stream down his face and his nose becomes stuffy.

Small sobs escape him as he apologizes.

"I wish I could go back, mom. I'm so sorry," he says, putting a hand on top of the stone as he turns his face towards it, head still resting on it.

By this point, he's been here for about six hours. He left the house around 12 and got here about thirty minutes after that, so it's already getting a little dark out.

He's not sure what time he should go back or if he even wants to. He started off this visit by telling his mom about exams this week and basically shit talking himself the whole time and he still feels like he has so much to tell his mom.

She's probably bored out of her mind listening to him speak about anything and everything.

Right now, though, he just lets himself cry, imagining that his mom is watching over him and making sure he's okay.

The sobs are still quiet, but his sniffling is pretty annoying, so he reaches into his hoodie pocket for some tissues, blowing his nose, noisily.

He laughs a bit at the noise.

"Sorry, I know it's gross," he tells his mom's headstone.

She would have laughed at that.

With dread filling up his chest, he decides he should leave sometime soon. He really doesn't want to, but he does want to make sure his dad is eating and he can always come back tomorrow around the same time and talk about nothing all day.

Unsure of how long his dad will need before he wants to talk to Bakugo, he thinks he can do this for at least a week before his dad might want to spend time together.

Hopefully, that's the case for after they talk because he really misses his dad.

"I'm gonna go soon, mom. You're probably sick of me, but I need to make sure dad is okay. He looked a bit skinny. I'm not sure he's been eating. I'm a little worried, but I hope you don't worry. I'll take care of him, okay? I promise."

He takes a deep breath to ground himself and stop crying, but it doesn't really work. It's a little pathetic the way he cries, small gasps of breath.

He blows his nose again, putting the used tissues in the bag of old flowers.

"I don't wanna leave yet," he cries, sobbing just a bit harder, but not any louder.

If things were his way, he'd never leave.

So he stays a little longer, hoping his dad isn't too hungry since he also has to go to the store for groceries since they had none at home.

It's only another ten minutes, but he has to go, so Bakugo slowly gets ready to leave, folding the blankets slowly as he tells his mom how he'll be back tomorrow and that he'll try not to be so boring and talk about the physical exam since all he talked about the written exams today.

Every time he does this, he feels horrible, but he tries not to let it affect him.

He places the two blanket in his larger bag and kisses his mom's headstone goodbye.

The entire walk to the closest store to his house is not any better with the crying. He's still blowing his nose and putting the tissues in the trash bag he has and the tears and sobs will not stop.

The sobs to die down the closer he gets to the store, but ultimately, it's still obvious he's crying as he enters the store, throwing away the old flowers and used tissues.

He puts his hoodie up and grabs a cart, putting his bag of blankets in the cart as he walks around the store to get a little bit of stuff. Right now he can't carry much because of the blankets, so he'll have to come back for more stuff later on.

Since his face is very obvious puffy and wet with tears, he keeps his head down, wiping away the tears every now and then.

Fuck he just misses his mom so much and he feels so bad about living that he just doesn't know what else to do with himself. They don't have anything to do during the break, so distracting himself is going to be so hard.

Sure he can train, but he can't get lost in training alone like he does when he trains with someone else.

And really, he doesn't want to train or do anything else when he can just go visit his mom.

He's only missing one thing when he accidentally bumps into someone, not looking up because of his face, but apologizing to the person and making his way to leave with the last thing he needed.

"Bakugo?"

He freezes, but then just keeps walking, pretending that he's not Bakugo and quickly heading to the cashier.

That was definitely Mina. What the fuck is she doing here? She doesn't even live close by. Fuck she better not try and talk to him again.

"Wait, Bakugo, what's wrong?"

She sounds concerned, and recently Mina has not been concerned about Bakugo. She hasn't been for months now, so he knows she must have gotten a peek at his face,

He curses internally and doesn't turn around, putting his items on the conveyer belt and only making brief eye contact with the cashier who also looks concerned.

Fuck this went to shit so fast.

There's a light tap on his shoulder as he put the last thing on the belt and he does not turn around.

"Bakugo, are you okay? What happened?"

He shakes his head, cleaning his throat to hopefully fix his voice.

"Nothing, fuck off."

Mina hasn't given a shit for months, it's not fair for her to start now. It's damn annoying and he won't give her the satisfaction of letting her in his life when she hasn't even tried before.

"No, look, I'm sorry about how I've been, but- Bakugo, please, do you need something? You're obviously going through something right now," she says, lowering her voice so that people don't start looking.

The only person around is the cashier and out of the corner of his eye, Bakugo can see him looking at him.

Shit.

Mina's apology doesn't mean shit to him. She just wants in on the gossip.

Fuck her.

"I don't need shit from you. Leave me alone."

Still, the tears spill. It's not a constant stream of tears, just watery eyes and if he blinks too hard, the tears fall.

The cashier has bagged the stuff, so he pays, needing to get out of there immediately because this is so damn embarrassing and he can't believe he's cried in front of another one of his classmates.

As soon as the payment is approved, Bakugo books it out the store, bag of blankets and bags of groceries in hand.

Mina had a basket of stuff in her hand, so she was definitely busy. Even if she was coming after him, he did get a head start.

He's a couple of blocks away from the store when he slows down, wiping the tears that fell in the last minute. It's a little hard with the bags, but it's not like it's a lot of tears anyway.

It's when he's halfway home that he hears running footsteps approaching him.

At first, he's nervous and thinks it's someone that wants to attack him, but then he hears Mina call his name.

Holy fuck. How annoying.

"Wait, I just- I know I've been horrible, but do you need someone? I can call-"

"No, Mina," he hisses, finally turning to face her.

It's beyond embarrassing when he sees her face sadden as she stares back into his teary eyes. He's mad, but the sadness in his chest is more prominent than anything else.

"I get you probably just want first access to what's got me down so you can use that shit against me, but you're not fooling me. Fuck off."

He turns back around, wishing he was home already even if it was to his dad who didn't want to see him.

"Bakugo, it's not like that. You don't have to tell me. I can call Kirishima or- or Todoroki. You've been close. Please, I'm just worried," she tries, sounding a little desperate.

Bakugo just keeps walking away, not giving her a response. He tries to sniffle as quietly as possible as he distances himself from her. His nose was starting to run, but he'd hate for her to think she helped make him cry.

He doesn't want to give her that satisfaction even if she had nothing to do with this. She doesn't follow him anymore, so he's left alone.

Then he's home, finally where he wanted to be just a few minutes ago, but when he gets to the door, he hesitates. Maybe his dad is in the living room or kitchen and he'd get mad if Bakugo walked in.

Masaru said he didn't want to see him, so if he ruined that, it would make things worse.

So he pressed his ear to the door, trying to see if he can hear anything going on in the two front rooms.

Fuck, he can't tell.

He still has his hood up, so he can probably get away with just dropping the stuff off in the kitchen for now.

He unlocks the door and walks in, immediately realizing that his dad isn't in either of the two front rooms, so he relaxes instantly, feeling ridiculous for being so nervous about walking in.

Through the blurriness in his eyes, he texts his dad that he's about to get started on dinner and that he'll text him when the food is done and he's already in his room.

Immediately after that, he loses a few layers of clothing and gets started on dinner.

***
Word Count: 3347
Yall I made it through my interviews. I did my internship one on Monday morning and then the job one was also on Monday, but at 3. Then I got another second interview for the job thing and did that interview on Friday. I think it went well. I'm just glad they even offered me a second interview because I was so nervous for it and didn't think they'd like me LOL. Anyway hopefully I get the job. I won't know anything about my first interview for my internship for probably another week so I'm nervous about that☹️ I need that internship. I also need that job tho lol so I'm stressed. I also got a stats midterm tmrw so 😐 anyway I hope y'all liked this chapter. Next one goes up next Sunday at around 11:30 pm (before 12) central time. It'll be around 3000-6000 words. I love you all and tysm for reading <3