Aizawa gets there in two hours, pulling Bakugo into a hug when he sees him, which, he kind of really fucking needed.

He pushes the man away almost instantly, though, and looks away.

"Your dad told me what happened on the way here. I called him to ask why you were so upset, and he told me. He also said you hadn't looked at his messages or answered his calls so he wants me to tell you he's sorry."

Bakugo doesn't give a shit about his fuck ass apology.

"I don't care."

Aizawa stands there, but they're drawing attention, so he starts leading Bakugo away, out of the coffee shop and towards his car. Bakugo feels his hand on his shoulder, but he hasn't looked up because his eyes are watering and he's trying not to cry.

When they get in, Bakugo's looking away. His fucking nose is runny, so he tries to sniffle quietly, but that doesn't work and it's obvious that Aizawa heard.

"Bakugo-"

"Leave it alone. I'll get over it."

The man clears his throat, deciding to just let Bakugo be. He has counseling tomorrow and today was probably one of the worst days of his life. The teen has enough to deal with.

After about fifteen minutes, Bakugo groans, turning to glare at Aizawa who's eyes have been solely on the road.

"Put on some damn music. It's quiet as shit in here."

Humming in agreement, the man finally turns on the radio, raising it up to a good level. High enough so that no one even tries to talk, but low enough that it's not unbearable.

Bakugo sighs, body sagging into the door, head resting on the window. His hair cushions his head so it's not uncomfortable as the car moves.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks his messages finally.

_______________
Dad

Katsuki answer my calls.

I'm sorry son, I forgot.

Katsuki, just answer.

You're so stubborn. I didn't mean to forget.

Are you at least at school?

I called your teacher, he said you haven't shown up to class.

_______________

Bakugo just stares at the messages, hating how much he wishes it was his mom texting. He blinks hard, trying not to think about how much he misses her because he's with Aizawa right now, and the man already pities him.

"Your dad sure does text a lot," Aizawa says in between songs.

"You sure do call a lot."

The man just smiles, shrugging as the next song starts playing.

Their conversation ends there. That's around the time Bakugo falls asleep, exhaustion overwhelming him and the need to not be awake very heavy.

Today fucking sucked and he's so pissed at his dad.

Bakugo was looking forward to something for once. Something that wasn't visiting his mom's grave had him excited and he just couldn't wait for the day to come.

Of course it ended badly. Bakugo deserves it.

He was so stupid. He should've checked with his dad to make sure they were still on for today. Reminded him that it was Masaru's idea and that he'd be waiting. Sue him for believing his dad actually gave a shit about him.

It's not even just about today. It's how he's been acting for months. Since his mom passed.

And it's not fair. It's not fair that he practically lost his dad, too. They're supposed to get through this shit together and instead- now Bakugo is completely alone and he wants to give up.

Just stop trying and become a bum.

Bakugo can't afford to do that, though. His mom would be so disappointed and he can't stand the thought of that.

The last thing he wants is to be a disappointment to his mom, even if she's not here to see it. He knows that trying to make her proud even now is the best thing he can do. His mom would be so happy that he wasn't giving up. She'd be fucking ecstatic to know that he was still trying. She'd be proud.

And really, that's all Bakugo needs to keep going.

He stays asleep the entire drive back and wakes up to Mr. Aizawa shaking him. He slowly sits up, feeling groggy and absolutely worn out.

Blinking, he turns to the man. It's dark out, and he wonders what time it is.

"Come on. It's seven," the man says, almost like if he could read Bakugo's mind.

Aizawa must've driven around some more because they should've been back by six the latest.

"Come on, we're back at UA, you should go in and get some rest, you have a long day tomorrow. Do you even want to go to class?"

"Does anyone want to? I'm going," Bakugo says, finally waking up and exiting the car angrily. Stupid pity. He doesn't need a day off. He needs to go to class. He needs to be better than everyone else.

Aizawa gets out of the car, but doesn't follow him as he stomps to the dorms.

"If I see that you need it, I'm barring you from going to class," he calls, and Bakugo just keeps walking, feeling more anger than before. 'Need it'. Fucking whatever.

He pulls out his phone, asking Kaminari if anyone has eaten only to see that Mina had kicked him out of the group chat only for Kirishima to add him back. Again, Bakugo ignored it.

When the other blond says that they haven't eaten yet, he replies that he's making whatever Kaminari requested.

That's how he ends up in the kitchen, throwing himself into cooking Kaminari's choice of dinner and getting lost in the steps. He especially likes when they request something he's never made before because then he can get lost in the recipe even more.

Nothing but the steps in his mind.

Cut this, wait for that, make sure this is cooling down before you mix it with the other thing.

Like always, he washes the dishes as he waits for the last thing to finish cooking and when that's over, he sighs, leaning back onto the island as he looks around.

He already wiped down the counters, swept the floor, and went as far as to dry and put away the dishes by himself.

The food should be ready to serve, so he shoots Kaminari a text that dinner will be done in five minutes and for the other blond to tell everyone.

Right before he puts his phone down to get his own plate to take upstairs, his phone rings.

His dad's caller ID pops up, and he tenses up looking at it. He has calmed down substantially since finishing dinner, so he won't be so emotional.

After pressing the accept button, he puts the phone up to his ear, getting himself a plate as the call starts.

"Katsuki?"

His dad is mad. Shit.

"Hey dad." Hopefully he's not too mad.

"Why the hell weren't you answering me?"

Bakugo sighs, putting the plate down on the counter as he looks down at it.

"I was mad."

"Oh," his dad says sarcastically, "you were mad. Okay, that makes up for it."

Clenching his fist, Bakugo takes a deep breath, pulling the phone away from his face so that his dad didn't hear that and get even more upset.

"You forgot about me. The whole thing was your idea," Bakugo tries, voice low so no one overhears. He's not even giving an attitude. He's honestly more hurt than anything.

"And that excuses you from ditching school and making me worry?"

Something in Bakugo snaps, but he still reels the anger in.

"I didn't mean to make you worry, but I have a right to be mad. And 'worry'? Really? You called four times. My teacher called thirty times. He was worried. You-" he lowers his voice, noticing how it got slightly louder, "you were just mad."

To distract himself, Bakugo starts serving himself wondering what his dad will say next.

"How dare you accuse me of not worrying. Of course I was worried. Jesus, Katsuki, what are you even doing? Why are you trying to start a fight right now?"

Bakugo is taken aback. Him starting a fight? Does he hear himself right now?

He scoffs, pouring the rice a little more aggressive than necessary. This time he does let his anger out, completely over this shitty ass conversation. Fuck this guy.

"Are you serious? I'm starting the fight? You're the one calling all pissed off already. Coming at me like I'm the one in the wrong. Sure I fucked up, but I didn't forget about you like you did to me. And what am I doing? I'm becoming a fucking hero."

His dad's tone is quick and sharp, and as Bakugo serves his last scoop of vegetables, his dad snaps, "yeah? Some hero you are. You couldn't even save your own mom."

The vegetables fall.

Half on the plate, half onto the counter, some of those falling onto the ground and on Bakugo's slippers.

Everything stops.

Bakugo's heart feels like it stops, too.

He keeps the phone held up to his ear, but there's a loud ringing and he loses his breath, anger gone with it.

"Katsuki- oh god, I didn't mean that-"

The blond doesn't hear the rest.

He lets his hand with his phone fall to his side as he turns to leave the kitchen.

His room. He wants to go to his room.

He bumps into someone. Kaminari. And he's saying something to Bakugo, smiling and bowing before he looks at Bakugo as he passes, and as Bakugo keeps walking, he sees the frown form on Kaminari's face.

Somehow he ends up in his room and he's looking down at his phone that shows the call still going.

He just stares at it until it goes away.

Masaru hung up.

Dread consumes him as his dad's words play over and over in his mind. He's right, though. No matter how much it sucks to hear.

Bakugo could not even save his own mom.

He lays on his side, phone still gripped in his hands.

As the phone starts buzzing, Bakugo realizes he's not even on his bed. He's on the floor of his room, staring at the screen on his phone as it shows a new caller ID.

Sensei.

He watches it until the screen goes black.

Then it lights up again with the same contact.

It's like that until his door slams open, the man himself showing up.

Bakugo doesn't look up to see that it's him. He just sees the black combat boots and knows.

The boots get closer to him and then he's being pushed onto his back. He blinks, facing up as the man's face comes into view.

"Kid?"

"Sensei."

The man looks worried. Why is he so worried? Bakugo's alive and breathing just fine. Well, okay he's not breathing fine. It's short and choppy, and it sounds more like wheezing.

Honestly, Bakugo didn't even realize until now.

"Shit, kid. Did you take anything? What happened? Are you alright?" Aizawa asks, frantic and checking Bakugo for any injuries before checking his pulse.

"Take anything?" What?

"Did you take any pills? Did you cut yourself? What happened?" He specifies, lifting Bakugo's sleeves.

Oh. Bakugo didn't even think about killing himself, but apparently Aizawa thinks he did.

"No," Bakugo sits up, coming back to himself really fast, "no- I- no. I wouldn't. I'm fine."

He doesn't feel real. He's suddenly too aware of everything and he can't breathe. His dad- oh god his dad hates him. He blames him for his mom's death and- shit it makes sense. Bakugo blames himself, too. It is his fault.

His mom is dead because of him.

"No, Bakugo. No, it's not your fault, come on, kid, breathe in big breaths. You got this, Bakugo, big breaths," he tries to coach.

But Bakugo can't breathe. It's because of him. His lack of skill is the reason he doesn't have a mom anymore. He lost her and there's only one person to blame.

He blacks out in the panic.

~~~~~

Aizawa is there when he wakes up. He's in his own room, but now he's on the bed rather than the floor.

Bakugo just stares at Mr. Aizawa as the man realizes he's awake.

"Bakugo, how are you feeling?"

His dad blames him for his mom's death.

He turns away, not saying anything.

"Your dad called me and told me what happened. He- Masaru told me what he said to you. Bakugo, that's not true, you know? It's not your fault and there's no reason anyone should be blaming you."

The blond stays staring at the wall, blinking slowly.

"Kid," the man says, standing up and getting closer to Bakugo's bed. Bakugo can hear and feel him, but he can't be bothered to turn. He doesn't care enough.

Not right now.

Aizawa moves Bakugo's head so that he's forced to look at Aizawa straight on. Bakugo complies, letting his eyes drag over to his sensei's.

"You listen to me. It's not your fault. Your dad had no right to say that. Even if he was mad, he fucked up and no one better expect you to forgive him. You hear?"

Bakugo hears, but he's wrong.

"It is. It's my- I couldn't save her. Why didn't I? I didn't even know. I'm-" Bakugo looks away again, "I'm not a hero."

Aizawa curses, stepping away.

"You're not some god, Bakugo. You're human. You couldn't have known. There was no way for you to know. And don't you dare say you're not a hero because I vouched for you."

That catches Bakugo's attention.

He did vouch for him.

He looks back over to the man.

"I told the entire world there was no way the villains could get you because you were a hero. I think you're going to be one of the greatest, kid. I'm sorry you've lost your mom so young, but you cannot blame yourself for her death."

Bakugo can't not blame himself. It's impossible, especially after his dad flat out told him that it was his fault. He can't stop hearing that disappointed tone in his voice. The blame and anger towards Bakugo.

"Yeah? Why isn't it my fault? I should've been there, Sensei, I- I was out having fun and she was dying."

He sees the sadness in his sensei's eyes.

"I lost my friend in high school. We were interning together and during a patrol, something went wrong and he was crushed by a building right before my eyes. I was there, but there was nothing I could do. Do you blame me? Is it my fault?"

Of course not, how could-

"It's not the same," Bakugo tries, but if anything, Bakugo's situation puts even less blame on him. He just- his dad.

"Why would he say that to me?" He asks, looking the man in the eye, voice unsteady.

It's so bad, he doesn't even feel like crying. He just feels hurt. It hurts so much.

"I don't know, kid, but he was wrong. Just- just try to get some rest. You're out from class tomorrow and the day after unless I say so. Hound Dog wants to meet with you both days at noon. Okay?"

The blond lets out a huge sigh. A much needed exhale.

Staring at the ceiling, Bakugo nods.

"Okay."

He knows Aizawa is shocked when he doesn't argue, but it doesn't matter.

Although Aizawa's story was valid, Bakugo can't help but still blame himself. He won't tell Aizawa about it, but it's probably obvious. Bakugo is a hero failure who couldn't even save the most important person in the world to him.

Now they communicate through the ground, Bakugo making sure that her grave is always clean and pretty.

"Stop thinking. Go to bed," the man scolds and Bakugo's eyes shut, trying to keep himself from seeing the tragedy in his dreams.

He's going to have a normal dream. He has to.

***
Word Count: 2668
The angst >:) ugh I love angst. There's more where that came from. Btw yall, this is a slow burn so there will be no romance for a bit (but there will be todobaku interaction). I'm focusing on Bakugo and then we'll get into the ship. Yippee. Anyway pls leave comments. I love reading what yall think. I don't even care about votes I just want to see what people think LMAO. The next chapter will go up next Sunday around 8pm central time. I love you all and thank you so much for reading<3