{Jon}

As the sun went down, Jon lit the candles around the living room. "Are you hungry? Do you want real food?"

Kurt looked up from his guitar, notes scattered on the floor around him. He quickly took the pick out of his mouth. "Yeah, course I do."

"I wasn't sure how long you were staying so I didn't plan a meal."

"I'm free all night," Kurt said, his head bent over the guitar, his fingers flying over a rising melody.

Jon took a soft breath, studying him. He hadn't planned a meal because he'd been unable to imagine that they would still have anything to say to each other after two hours together. He'd assumed Kurt would lose interest and bid his farewells, and that he would be content to see him go and have the night to himself like any other Saturday.

The ease of being with Kurt surprised him. Jon hadn't realized how much effort it was to be with straight men, to contain his feelings, to never look too long or touch them, to share only the things about himself that would permit him to continue to belong. After years of rigidly separating the parts of his life, he'd finally managed to find a way to pass without raising suspicion, while still feeling like a whole person when he was at home. He was the real Jon White at work and school, just the fraction of himself that fit best in those settings.

Being with Kurt felt natural as breathing. When their arms brushed, when their eyes met--Jon didn't have to pull away and make sure to be more careful next time. Outside of sparring at the dojo, Cary was the only person Jon allowed to touch him on a regular basis and with Kurt in the room Jon's body felt starved for the warmth of another human that he realized he'd been missing for years.

When Jon opened the fridge to forage for supper, he found Cary had outdone himself in shopping for 'snacks.' There was a fruit and cheese tray, there were sparkling non-alcoholic beverages, there was a roast chicken rubbed with herbs. As Jon laid out the snack-feast, Kurt prowled into the kitchen, picking this and that off the trays and popping them in his mouth. He gave an enormous, pleased sigh.

"You throw the best parties, White."

Jon snorted. "Everybody says that, wow it must be true."

He leaned on the counter next to Kurt, just close enough to feel the heat of his shoulder in the air next to his. The chicken smelled amazing but he couldn't eat; he had to figure out how to say the thing he'd been thinking about for days.

"I think I need to answer your question: if I could keep my job safe, would I date." Jon felt Kurt looking at him and he set his feet a little wider, steadying himself against the counter.

"The thing is: I love my job," Jon said. "The work we're doing at River House genuinely matters. Dusty and Jordin and Grace might be staying full-time in hotel rooms if we didn't exist. The foster system is stretched so thin, you have no idea."

Kurt's eyes were soft and the corner of his mouth tucked in. Jon lifted his shoulders, unable to meet his eyes directly. "I just can't be 'out' and work there. My salary—all of River House—is primarily funded by evangelical churches. I knew that when I signed on. I can't just casually go out with a guy. I haven't even been looking. And I thought I was fine with never. Being with someone." Jon's heart jerked in his chest and his words stumbled over themselves.

This was harder than he'd thought it would be, with Kurt's long, grown-up body leaning next to him, the familiar shape of Kurt's hands pressing a chord against the edge of the counter and his blue eyes intent on Jon's face while he listened.

Jon closed his eyes and put his hand against his aching chest. "And you're not just--anyone, Kurt. I liked you a lot in high school. I thought about you a long time after that summer." A little laugh shook him. "You left a mark on me. So I'm, um, having a hard time. Telling you I really can't. Go out with you. When what I want--" His voice cracked and he slowly opened his hand like a door over his heart. He cleared his throat. "What I want--is to ask you to stay longer. And if you have plans next weekend. And hear all the stories I missed. And just--have you in my life again."

He lifted his face to Kurt's. The other man had his fingers over his mouth, and his blue eyes narrowed in a warm smile that looked to Jon like me too.

A blush rose in Jon's face, betraying him. "And I can't." His voice squeezed and broke. "I can't. This is the only place I could be with you. Just--in my house."

There, it was done.

It was quiet a second, and then Kurt set his hand on the counter next to Jon's, touching his knuckles with the tips of his first two fingers. "Are you asking me to be your secret boyfriend, Jon White?" His voice was husky. "Because if that's what's happening right now, I'm so here for it."

A laugh shook Jon, in spite of the seriousness of this moment. "As if you would be my secret boyfriend, Kurt Visser."

"I would," Kurt drawled. "I've been wantin' to be your boyfriend for about a hundred years."

Jon's whole body went alert, like he was in a Jui-Jitsu match seeing a second too late the sweep that would take his legs out from under him. "No, Kurt, shut up. Please don't joke about this."

"I'm not joking. I want to spend more time with you. I'm pretty easy-going about the conditions."

Jon sucked in his breath; Kurt's eyes were steady on his, his fair eyebrows lifted, waiting. His fingertips put warm pressure on the back of Jon's hand. Jon shook his head once, when he so badly wanted to just say yes, and just see what would happen. "I couldn't call you--anything. If anyone asks, I'd have to say it's nothing--there's nothing going on with you. You couldn't expect—anything. From me. Outside of this house."

Kurt nodded, a flicker of amusement in his face. "Like a hook up. No strings, no labels."

Jon's face flamed. "Nothing like a hook up. I'm never hooking up with you. I've never even kissed someone."

Kurt's eyes went a little wide, dropping to Jon's lips for a second. "Are you serious?" he asked.

Jon made a dry noise. "Uh—yup. I've been too busy to mess around. At all. And I see no appeal in casual sex with some random stranger whose parts have been who knows where with who knows how many people." The words were a little sharp. This was a stereotype that Jon's boss liked to point to as an example of how obviously immoral homosexuality was. Like all gay men just jumped into each others' pants, all the time.

"Hm." Kurt rubbed his chest with his free hand, looking away. "We might have to agree to disagree on that point, White. I think you don't know what you're missing."

Jon felt as if his whole body had come awake to listen to this conversation, prickling in a way that was not familiar. "Sure, we can agree to disagree." His voice was pressed soft. He thought Kurt didn't know how much it was possible to miss something you'd never had. "I wouldn't expect you to...change your lifestyle for me. I'm not changing for you."

Kurt eyed him sideways. Very slowly, he moved his fingers to cover Jon's, peeling his hand off the counter to hold it. Heart in his throat, Jon clasped his hand back. Kurt had callouses on the tips of his fingers; he stroked the inside of Jon's palm once like he couldn't help himself.

"What if I make you a deal, Jon," Kurt said in a husky voice. "I've been working on turning over a new leaf, but I'm still shit at picking out men who're good to me. You're the kind of sober, responsible gay I wish I had. So. What if you let me practise being a sober boyfriend on you? And I'll take a break from the meat market for a bit. A holiday from hook ups. To see if I like it."

"I am not. Doing the things you do with your hook ups," Jon said fiercely.

Kurt drew his hand to his chest, with a flashing glance at Jon's face. For all his confident appearance, Jon could feel Kurt's heartbeat shaking his body through the back of his hand.

"I know you're not, love. I can look after myself; it's fine," Kurt said. "This is going to be something different, that's the point. We can just--spend time together and tell stories and make food like we're doin' tonight. Nothing you don't wanna do. You can, I don't know, kick the tires on having a relationship with a guy, without risking your job. Because nothing is happening, outside of this house."

Jon was empty of words, standing there looking at Kurt's familiar face, the wry curl of his mouth and the glint of his blue eyes watching him. This ridiculous proposal was so close to what Jon would have wanted, in another life, with Kurt. "You want to be my practise boyfriend," he finally managed. "In secret. In my house."

"Mm-hm, yup." Kurt said. He laughed a little and shrugged; Jon felt the muscles of his chest move. "Does that sound weird to you? I have no idea--this doesn't even register on the scale of weird shit I've done with guys. Bein' Jon White's practise boyfriend would be a downright wholesome life choice for me."

Jon's laugh surprised him. "Kurt, you're outrageous. And this is a terrible idea."

"Do you want to, though?" Kurt coaxed. "Even a little?"

Jon drew in his breath. If he was being honest, that was not a question he got asked very often. Very few parts of his life were about what Jon White wanted. "I want to," Jon admitted softly. "But I don't understand what you get out of this. You're giving everything up—for what?"

For a moment Kurt just looked at him through his bangs, then he lifted a shoulder. "I get a holiday with you."

Jon snorted. "What a treat. I'm warning you, it's not exactly a 'holiday' when your practise boyfriend is working full time and doing school."

Kurt's smile deepened, and he helped himself to the cracker and cheese tray next to his hip. "Well, you do have a way with party snacks. I'll find a way to keep my spirits up somehow."

"Are we starting now?" Jon asked. "Am I your practise boyfriend now?"

"Yes," Kurt said promptly. "I think if we're in your house, we're dating. We're practising. Um. What do you want to do first? I don't know what the sober people do. Are you a go-to-bed early kind of gay?"

Unaccountably, Jon felt a wave of giddy joy pick him up and carry him. "Definitely not. I am a working-night-shifts kind of gay. I'm good for hours." He flashed Kurt a teasing glance. "Unless you want to head home for your beauty sleep?"

"Nope," Kurt said. With a happy sigh, he helped himself to a plate and started to fill it with food. "I think this holiday is going to be good for me."

Jon let his shoulder lean into Kurt's arm as he put the kettle on for hot drinks. He felt as if he was weightless, big as this house. It was the closest thing to a fresh start either of them could afford, and it wasn't for keeps. He couldn't imagine Kurt Visser paying the price to be Jon's boyfriend for real. But. It had been a long time since Jon had felt this happy. A holiday in his house with Kurt Visser? He would take every single second he could get.

*Why do you think Kurt makes this somewhat outrageous proposal to go on holidays to be Jon's 'practise boyfriend?

Why does Jon say yes?

What could possibly go wrong? ;)*

*Re-readers: if you missed the changes in 'Chapter 5 'The texts', there's a glimpse of Kurt's last sober hook up, and more on Grace's arrival at River House. Worth a look!

So this is the third version of the set up between Kurt and Jon, and it's the one I'm going to run with for Wattys! Thanks for your feedback to help me get to this humorous, high stakes place.

Obviously, as the writer, I want Jon and Kurt together as much as possible, as soon as possible in this story. In the first version of this set-up I very quickly had them define their relationship as 'boyfriend and boyfriend.' I used their history with each other and Jon's need to be closeted to help the reader accept the speed of this development.

In THIS scene, I've tried to create more tension earlier in the story, by having them hold back from defining their relationship even though they both privately wish they were together. I've attempted to highlight the vast gap between their relationship experience, and bring our attention to Kurt's understandable wariness about having 'strings' on him.

Do you think Kurt's 'practise boyfriend' proposal is the kind of amusing gimmick that will hook in Wattpad romance readers? Does this scene do a better job of creating interesting stakes for the reader, earlier?

Of course, given my own style and interests, Kurt and Jon's relationship will take a turn for the serious sooner rather than later--just not as quickly as it did in the previous version.

I've edited the following chapters to match this alternate set up. Interestingly, this version also solved some problems I had with droopy, wordy chapters. Pete and Mel's visit for supper is cut, as well as Kurt and Cary sparring. The relevant dialogue in those scenes mostly happens between our main characters, Jon and Kurt, instead of secondary characters. I'm guessing this is a good thing but have looked at this so much in the last week I have no perspective lol.

Thank you for your reads, comments and help, lovelies!

2136 words.