{Jon}

As they laid out the meats and cheeses and olives, and made a mountain of fresh veggies to eat raw alongside, Kurt and Cary bantered easily with each other and Jon smiled until his cheeks ached. His eyes followed Kurt like the other man might vanish if he looked away. Making up today felt like visiting his chiropractor—immediate relief from pain, but still tender at the point that had been misaligned.

When the snack-feast was spread over their counter and table, it was obvious that Jon had bought more food than even three hungry men could consume in one night. Kurt lit the candles, the flame glowing in his eyes and illuminating the curl of his lips as the wick caught. The music swirling underneath their conversation was one of Kurt's playlists, and Jon couldn't remember the last time he'd heard Cary laugh so much. He leaned against the sink with his hands tucked in his pockets, drinking it in.

At the table, Kurt smacked Cary's hand away from the meat tray, saying, "Wait for the grace, Douglas—were you born in a barn?" and turning to Jon expectantly.

Jon's laugh shook him, then his breath hitched and tears dropped out of his eyes. He covered his face, trying to press those tears back. Why was he crying now?

"Oh—Jon," Kurt said, swiftly getting up to hug him. "Hey, hey." His hands rubbed up and down Jon's back.

Jon wrapped his arms around him, trying not to hold him too hard, but he was trembling and his knees were unsteady. His hands fisted in Kurt's shirt. "I almost lost you," he said. All the fear and grief he hadn't let himself feel in the moment shook him hard.

Kurt hugged him tighter. "Close call, love, I feel that." He set his feet wide so they were face to face, brushing Jon's cheeks with his thumbs. His own blue eyes sparkled with tears, but his smile lit him brighter than the candle flames. "We pulled through, though and here I am. Making you cry as promised."

Behind them, Cary said gruffly, "Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, amen. I'm eating—don't mind me. Feel free to join when you're done. No hurry. Jon's needed a good cry for some time now."

He was probably right, because Jon couldn't stop shaking with tears for a full minute, his cheek pressed against the thump of Kurt's heart. Kurt's arms wrapped around him, his long fingers rubbing the back of his neck, finally sent the message down to Jon's bones: Kurt Visser was staying.

When he could finally catch his breath and stand on his own, Kurt cautiously drew back. "Better?"

Jon nodded. Taking Kurt's hand, he pressed a kiss in his palm, and laid it against his cheek. He couldn't say the words yet for how completely he belonged to Kurt, but as he met Kurt's eyes the colour rose in his boyfriend's face like he didn't have to.

"I'm eating all this salami," Cary said to no one in particular. "And the best olives are gonna be gone in another minute."

Laughing, Kurt and Jon separated, but just enough to eat. Their hands found each other all evening, brushing each others' arms or shoulders or legs like their bodies were magnets drawn together.

When they'd eaten their fill and toasted any number of silly things with their non-alcoholic bubbly, including Jon's closet and Misty's furry tummy, Jon tapped his fingers on Kurt's knee. "I didn't get any dessert, love. Will you...?"

Kurt glanced at his guitar on her stand beside their carpet and took a breath. "If I say no, will you be mad?"

Jon tipped his face. "No."

"There's some new music coming maybe." Kurt put his hand on his chest. "I don't have the heart to sing the stuff from before. It's not—mine anymore."

Jon observed that his immediate impulse was to argue and ask questions and try to solve that. He didn't think Nicky could actually take the rights to Kurt's music when Kurt's name was on the album credits, and some of the songs they'd performed live weren't even on the EP. He set that impulse aside, realizing that Kurt wasn't telling him a fact about a problem that needed solving. Kurt was telling him a feeling and Jon could just let that be. Kurt was good at working through his feelings.

He took Kurt's hand, rubbing the smooth polish on his fingernails. "You'll tell me when you're ready, yes?"

Kurt chuckled. "Darlin', I think you'll be the first to know."

{Kurt}

Kurt couldn't ever remember feeling so full of happiness, and so steady at the same time. Jon's loose posture and easy quiet as they cleaned up the meal told him Jon was happy too, and it deepened Kurt's satisfaction ten-fold realizing he could do that for Jon back, just by being next to him.

The peace of this moment didn't feel fleeting or fragile--they'd done the work to get here and Kurt knew that was real. If they could sort out this conflict, he had every hope they could get through hard times in the future too. It was a very different feeling than the uneasy patch ups he'd made with Nicky, sweeping shit under the rug and telling himself little lies to make it work.

(Jon wanted him for keeps. It was sunshine beaming all over his body. He wouldn't have traded this feeling for a thousand auditoriums full of screaming fans.)

Cary made his excuses once the meal was done and disappeared upstairs. Jon leaned next to the stove, watching Kurt's hands make them a pair of after-dinner coffees. "What do you want to do tonight, love?" Jon asked.

Kurt's lips curled as he glanced at him. "I want to go to sleep in your arms. Maybe we could work back from there."

One corner of Jon's mouth twitched up in a smile. "Are you saying you want to make out with your boyfriend?"

Kurt checked in with his body, warm and relaxed from a day at the spa and a beautiful dinner hour at Jon's table. He hummed a contented noise in his chest. "Mm-hm; I think we should."

Jon's face fell into shadow as he turned it to the kitchen. "What do I need to know, Kurt?" he asked. "For you to feel safe with me tonight? And not...hurt you?"

Kurt's hands stayed steady as he poured the water over the coffee grounds, swirling to make the coffee bloom like Cary showed him. "Cary told you?"

Jon sighed, knuckling his eye. "I guessed from shit I've seen with the kids I work with. Care just—confirmed my guesses." His fingers brushed the bruise in the corner of Kurt's neck, and his voice roughened. "This has been in my face all week."

Shivering, Kurt glanced at Jon's shoulders, corded with tension beside him. His boyfriend had been carrying the damage Nicky had done in his own way all week. It was a wonder Nicky was still standing.

He lifted the pour-over cone to check the brew, trying to sort out his feelings. Was he afraid to trust his body to Jon's hands, now that Jon knew how easy he was to take advantage of?

Jon was biting the corner of his mouth, watching him. He touched Kurt once, his hand feather light on Kurt's chest. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have—said anything. And just let you lead."

Kurt shook his head, tucking his hair behind his ear. He kissed Jon's neck before handing him a steaming cup of coffee. "I'm picking up that leaving shit unspoken doesn't sit well with you. I'll get used to it."

He started his own pour over, even though Jon's low voice saying he would let Kurt lead, made his body hum with interest in something that was not coffee. He stretched his chest open a little, setting his feet wide and steady to put this into words for Jon first.

"I'm healed up, mostly. For our purposes," Kurt said. "I'm not pretty but it looks worse than it feels." He rubbed a hand over his burning ear, clearing his throat. "I'm clean. Results came back clear from the clinic. Nicky's not a complete dick."

Jon leaned into Kurt's shoulder. "Strongly disagree," he growled, the heat of those words pushing against the sleeve of Kurt's blouse.

Kurt turned his face into Jon's hair, filling his mouth with the smell of him. In the moment of quiet, he became hyper-aware of the rhythm of Jon's breathing and the weight of his body against his.

"We don't have to rush for me," Jon said. "I'm all switched on but it feels like that'll be true--anytime, with you. I can wait. Whatever you want, love."

Swallowing, Kurt took Jon's hand and pushed it down his body, tucking it against the heat of himself, completely aroused by Jon's touch, the smell of Jon's body next to his, and Jon asking what he wanted tonight.

Jon pulled away to look in his face, colour high in his cheeks. His eyes glowed, dark gold-green, his mouth curving in a slow smile. "My bed first then."

{Jon}

Jon had not made his bed or picked up the discarded socks and T-shirts on his floor. Up until just hours ago he'd thought he'd never have Kurt in his room again. His heart was pattering and he tried to settle himself with a quick tidy up. Kurt leaned against his closed door, watching him with an equally uncertain expression on his face.

"Can you find us a playlist, Kurt?" Jon asked. "Is sleepy, sexy music a thing?"

Kurt's chuckle was a little unsteady as he fished out his new phone. "I will find out."

Jon tugged his blankets straight, then turned them back. (Was that right, they were going under the blankets? Or on top? God he knew nothing.)

Kurt shrugged his shoulders up to his ears as he scrolled. "You know what's funny," he said, without looking up at Jon. "I'm a little nervous right now. Like it's my first time." Music swelled out of his phone speaker and he slid Jon a look, his eyes dark with pupil.

Jon cleared the top of his bedside table into the drawer with an unceremonious sweep of his hand, so just his pillar candle was left. Fumbling his lighter out of the pile in his drawer, he lit the candle, then stepped to the door to turn off the light. He glanced at Kurt in the soft dimness of his bedroom. "Better?" he asked. Kurt's mouth curled tentatively and he nodded.

Jon pulled off his shirt and stepped out of his pants on his way to his bed, climbing over his covers. "How much of a fire hazard would it be if I just filled this room with candles and threw rose petals everywhere?" He laid his hand on the bed next to him, meeting Kurt's eyes with a smile. "You should have rose petals. Next time I'll plan ahead."

Kurt lowered his head, undressing down to his boxer-briefs and folding each piece of clothing before he came over to curl up with his head in Jon's lap. The candlelight was kind to the bruises on his arms and neck, blending everything into flickering, shadowy skin.

Jon pushed his fingers through Kurt's shaggy hair, finding the different coloured pieces. "It is my first time." Jon said, his voice rough. His stomach tightened as he studied Kurt's body, warm in his bed. "I'm nervous too."

Kurt peeked at him, a little smile curling his lips. "Oh yeah...it is." He wrapped an arm around Jon's waist, pulling him closer. "How 'bout I show you again and then you can try it on me." He nuzzled his face into Jon's stomach, nibbling his bare skin. Giggling, Jon tipped sideways on the pillows, curling around him.

"Hey, we said no tickling," he said. Kurt laughed softly, and the heat of his breath on Jon's skin made him stretch and groan with pleasure, burying his face in the bare skin of Kurt's stomach.

{Cary}

Misty was a contented cat-lump on the armchair beside him and Cary was absorbed in drawing a new panel of his story when he became aware that the furnace ducts in this old house were none too good at muffling sound from the rooms below.

No one would say Kurt didn't have a good set of lungs on him and he was singing out Jon's name in rising ecstasy. Cary put his hands over his ears, blushing furiously and exchanging a look with Misty. Her green eyes were unperturbed above her whiskers. Cats had the very good fortune never to blush.

When the house finally fell quiet, Cary laughed a little, his face still hot. "Well cat," he said gruffly, "I think I'm gonna need to get some headphones."

Jon's voice floated up through the vent, throaty and warm, barely recognizable from his serious daytime tone. "Kurt, you're going to wake the neighbourhood."

Kurt laughed breathlessly. "Can't help it. God, your beautiful mouth."

Jon's answering laugh was low, his murmur unfortunately distinct. "You're delicious, love. Where do you want my beautiful mouth now?"

Cary made an inarticulate 'ack' noise and jumped to his feet, heading down the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible. Maybe there was something open twenty-four hours that would sell him headphones. He wanted something big and cushy and most importantly...noise cancelling.

END.

2393 words.

*Scroll on to the next chapter, lovelies, for the description of the sequel, FOR KEEPS! Because of course, finding your person is just the beginning of making something beautiful together....*

Misty says cuddles are what humans are for, obviously. 🖤