{Jon}

Jon expected to feel nervous when he pulled into Red Deer with his boyfriend beside him. When he stepped out of his car he felt a thrill of happiness instead, like he could take a full breath in. "What are we doing first, Kurt?"

Kurt's eyes were narrowed in the sunshine, looking across the top of the car back at him. His cheekbones glittered with what he had called his 'natural spotlight,' as he applied the highlighting powder. As if he needed it. "Well I'm feeling like..." His mouth dropped open, and he pointed. "Shoes."

"Shoes?" Jon said, puzzled.

Kurt hopped up onto the sidewalk and took Jon's hand, tugging him up the street, his robe swishing behind them. "I completely forgot about this divine little store." Jon had to take giant strides to match his boyfriend's long legs, and Kurt pulled up to match his steps. "Sorry, got a little excited there. It's been way too long since I was in a decent shoe store. And you really need to put the fabulous back into your footwear."

Jon laughed. "Do I though?"

A tiny bell above the door rang, and a young man appeared behind the counter, wiping his fingers on a napkin, clearly just on his lunch break. He smirked. "Well hello, it's my people. What can I do for you queens?"

Kurt was standing stock still, his fingers against his mouth, his blue eyes wide just taking it in. "This is...beautiful," he breathed.

Jon looked around at the shelves of shoes, and racks of shoes, and wall of shoes and just saw...well, shoes.

Kurt waved his fingers in front of his eyes like he was going to cry. "Okay. Um, I need a heel in like, size thirteen, and a wedge boot in—what size are you, love?"

Jon's eyebrows flicked up. What was a 'wedge boot' and did he really want one in his size? "Eight and a half."

Kurt's jaw dropped. "Oh my god your tiny precious feet."

Jon flipped him his middle finger and Kurt laughed. "I'm so sorry--I would kill for a size eight and a half. Do you know how hard it is to find heels in size thirteen?"

The man at the counter nodded. "Honey, the worst," he said sympathetically. "I'll check in the back. I carry some of the bigger sizes for my plus size customers. There's no reason a bigger foot should have to wear uglier shoes. That's just straight-up size-ism."

Jon leaned against a pillar, smiling to himself as Kurt touched all the things, cooing over rhinestone sandals and high heels with soles as red as the inside of a mouth. It wasn't the first time he'd been recognized by another gay man and shared a smirk of mutual recognition. It was, however, the first time he'd been recognized as another man's boyfriend. He kind of wanted to parade Kurt into every store just to have that experience over and over.

The young man reappeared, manoeuvring a stack of boxes almost as high as his head, a glint in his eye. "So, I found some things that you might like..."

Kurt slung himself onto the bench, toeing off his battered cowboy boots, and stuffing his socks inside. He wiggled his bare toes, sighing with happiness. "It's been too long." He tore through every box in the pile like a kid at Christmas, picking up and turning every shoe, before deciding to try on a pair of spiky heels made entirely of satiny ribbons maybe? Jon wasn't sure how he even planned to get them on his feet.

Kurt slipped into the heels with practised ease, strutting up and down past the store mirror, swinging his dressing gown like he was on the runway. His lips curled and his blue eyes flashed to Jon's dazzled face as he struck a pose. "What do you think, White?"

Jon found his voice. "I think I'm going to need a chair to kiss you in those."

Kurt laughed. "I think you're going to need a pair of your own."

"Ohh nope," Jon said. "No. Definitely not. I will break my ankle."

The shopkeeper seemed ready for this, unboxing what looked to Jon like an almost reasonable boot, albeit with a very pretty rounded point at the end and zippers up the sides. "So this wedge boot is very popular this season," he said. "As you can see, there's more surface area on the sole of the shoe to give you stability. And the wedge under the toe adds height without inclining the foot at an angle that might feel uncomfortable for someone inexperienced in wearing heels."

Kurt was already slipping on his second pair of shoes, grinning at Jon. "Go on, try them on. Think of how tall you'll be."

Jon rolled his eyes. "I hate you," he said, and sat down on the bench, pulling off his sneakers.

The boots felt very stiff and firm compared to the squishy sneakers he was used to wearing. Kurt pulled him to his feet and held his hands to steady him. "This is super weird," Jon said, swaying.

"Pop your hip out," Kurt said. "Point your toes like your legs are a mile long." He circled around behind Jon, sliding off his own heels to stand barefoot and put his chin on Jon's shoulder. "Which they are, god, look at you."

Jon's body adapted to the new angles, like he was finding his balance in a yoga pose. He met his own very surprised expression in the mirror. "Too bad I can't move. I'll just have to look fabulous from here." He set his hand on his hip, his mouth quirking up. That person in the mirror was definitely someone he'd like to get to know better.

"It's just like normal walking," Kurt said. "Heel-toe, heel toe, walk the line." He slid a pair of nude stilettos on to demonstrate, strutting.

Jon followed more slowly, finding his balance, feeling the way his legs wanted to prance in these shoes. He couldn't have stopped his hips from swaying if he tried. When he turned at the end of the 'runway', both men were watching him with their eyebrows lifted. The shopkeeper turned away with a little "Whoo is it hot in here? I'm going to go turn down the thermostat."

Kurt chuckled. "Turns out you're a natural," he said. "I should have known you'd be good at anything."

Jon walked the line back, even more smoothly this time. "Is this an accomplishment? Walking in heels? I thought women did this all the time."

"Mm," Kurt said ambivalently. "Not like that they don't." 

In the end, Kurt could not be parted from the nude stilettos, and he insisted that Jon leave his old sneakers in the box and wear the sleek gold and purple high-end running shoes Kurt picked for him out of the store.

On the sidewalk in the sunshine, Kurt swing the shoe bag in one hand, and Jon's hand in the other, his heels making a definitive 'tik-tak' up the street. In heels, Kurt's stride matched Jon's perfectly.

"Shall we lunch, love? There's a little place up the street run by a lovely pair of queers."

Jon grinned up at him--Kurt really was impossibly tall now. "Do you know every Red Deer queer?"

Kurt appeared to think that over. "Quite possibly, I do."

Predictably, Kurt was drawing stares from people around them on the street. Jon met every glance with his eyebrows up and his mouth quirked with amusement. A truck door slammed across the street and Jon was aware of male voices rising, and then the familiar holler: "Hey faggots!"

"It's fucking twenty-fourteen," Kurt grumbled. "Can't a man hold hands with his boyfriend in peace?"

Jon turned around, his glare finding the clump of men out in front of the hardware store. "You want some of this?" he called, brushing his hand over his body and leaning over to blow them a kiss. "Come and get it."

They bumped into each other in their hurry to disappear into the store, and Jon fluttered his fingers at them, anger hot in his gut. "'Buh-byeee. Don't make me come over there," he added in a quiet sing-song.

He took Kurt's hand, storming away. His boyfriend was snorting with laughter. "Holy shit, White. You going to pick a fight every time?"

"That's the only thing that worked in high-school," Jon said. "Other than kicking their asses." He rolled his shoulders, trying to shrug off his anger. "Is this the place? I'm starving, love."

{Kurt}

The after-image of Jon's slow, controlled slink across the shoe store in heels was burned on the back of Kurt's eyelids. He felt like he was seeing Jon's full size for the first time, not the contained, flattened version that went out the door in a hoodie every day. Far from disappearing beside the drama of Kurt Visser, Jon took up more space and held it, the contrasting lights and darks of his personality boldly on display.

Kurt had not been exaggerating; he had hooked up with men of all sizes and colours--he was naturally curious and delighted in variety. But he was becoming increasingly tuned into, and turned on by, one person in particular who he couldn't in any way simplify to explain: the man sitting across from him studying the menu with a wrinkle in his forehead. A bar of sunlight fell over Jon's hand, illuminating the faint smattering of freckles around his thumb and trailing onto his wrist.

Kurt bit his lip. What was he doing? This was definitely the equivalent of a third date with Jon and he was definitely getting attached. He'd broken every single one of his rules for Jon.

What was Jon thinking, over there, out in public with him? He had to just be curious about having a boyfriend. He was just being kind to Kurt for old times' sake. Those were the only explanations that made sense. Jon was the kind of man who went to church unironically and knelt at the communion rail. There was no way his serious, responsible friend was going to risk something long-term with him. In a way, Kurt was still just practise for Jon.

Kurt relaxed back in his chair, finger-combing his hair and trying to ignore the pinch of regret in his chest. He was back in familiar territory. This was a short-term arrangement and he would just enjoy it however long Jon wanted.

"Do they have gluten free options?" Jon asked. "I really should eat clean today if I want to avoid another migraine." He rubbed his fingers against his forehead absently, then glanced up when Kurt didn't respond.

Quickly, Kurt ducked his head, flipping open his own menu. "I don't know, I'm on holidays." And to be honest, he wasn't sorry at all that he didn't have to eat clean for hooking up later. "I'm planning to just pick whatever and see what comes."

Jon laughed. "Of course you are. I'll ask the server."

Kurt set the menu down again; it was completely uninteresting compared to the person across from him. "So—tell me about coming out in high school. I can't believe I missed the notif." He couldn't help remembering Jon outside the restaurant, flaunting himself at the men across the street, the physical potential of his body to kiss or kick ass so electric every hair on Kurt's body had stood to attention.

Jon blinked those wide hazel eyes at him, appearing to be surprised by Kurt's interest. "Oh, um, I basically came out when I was fifteen. To my parents, and then I was stupid enough to defend LGBTQ+ rights in a class debate my first month at my new school." He slung an arm over the back of his chair, his fists curling loosely. "Cary was busing across town to Eastglen to be with his girlfriend. I didn't tell him half the shit 'til it was over—he couldn't afford any more trouble if he wanted to graduate. I learned to fight my own battles."

The server came up, smiling politely in her neat black apron, and Jon made a smile back at her. "I'm sorry to be a pain," he said, "But do you know what's gluten free on here?" There was a long negotiation over the menu before the server turned to Kurt, looking harried.

Kurt flipped open his menu and poked his finger at random on the page: "I'll have this." He showed it to her. "And a milkshake." He leaned towards Jon. "Wait, can you have dairy? Will that be too tempting?"

"I love dairy. It's sugar I can't have."

"Do you want just a little sip of my milkshake? They're amazing here."

"I absolutely want a little sip." Jon's eyes warmed, smiling at him.

Kurt was not distracted from the previous subject, even by the arrival of his milkshake and an extra serving in a tall, frosty metal cup. "Why didn't you come back to Eastglen High, if King George was so bad?"

Jon smoothed his hand over his crossed leg, appearing to stall. "You were there, Kurt," he finally said. "I was trying to rewire my addicted brain and...not cut the hell out of my body. I couldn't imagine seeing you in the halls everyday, and pretending you were just a—buddy from youth group. Laying out some homophobic bullies seemed more doable."

Kurt did imagine it: bumping into Jon at Eastglen High, out and probably more adorable than ever, trying to chat him up in the hall while his football friends side-eyed them. Kurt's feelings had been agonizingly large then, stuffed in the closet to keep out of reach of his father, his brother, and his friends as best he could.

Kurt groaned, covering his eyes. "Christ, I shoulda just kissed you and come out, and to hell with my family and the house and my truck--"

Jon nudged his knee with his leg. "Hey," he said softly. "It's okay." He laughed a little at himself. "Honestly, I'm glad you didn't--kiss me then. I didn't like myself very much. I wasn't ready for a boyfriend."

Kurt peered through his fingers at him. Jon was lit with a smile, arms folded and leaning towards him across the table. When Kurt had picked that shirt off the rack, he'd had no idea how good it was going to look with Jon's muscular shoulders filling it out. The bronze colour brought out the warm tones in Jon's skin and the gold in his eyes.

"Well I guess God must love me after all," Kurt drawled. "'Cause here I am in Red Deer on a date with you." He'd been (mostly) joking, but the colour rose in Jon's face and he lowered his eyes, glancing up through his lashes. It was a look so tender and smoking hot at the same time that it thudded into Kurt's heart like a harpoon.

(Jesus H. Christ, Kurt Visser was in big trouble; Jon was going to land him like a fish.)

Fortunately, their food arrived, a steaming omelette stuffed with greens, olives and feta for Jon and a whopping burger and fries for Kurt. For a few moments, they just gave themselves to the pleasure of the food and the atmosphere of the restaurant.

Kurt collected himself; he was overreacting as usual. He was out with a friend he enjoyed, just having a holiday together. Jon could play at being his boyfriend as long as he liked. Sure, Kurt was interested but he wasn't stupid. His big feelings went up and down everyday--he'd lived with them long enough to know now they didn't always mean what he wanted them to mean.

He asked the question he'd been curious about for weeks. "Who did you take to prom?" 

Jon winced. "That's a bit of a complicated story."

Kurt slurped his milkshake and offered it across to Jon. "I'm all ears."

Jon took a sip, appearing to gather his thoughts. "So when you graduated, I switched back to Eastglen for Grade 12. And it was just kind of all over the school already that I was gay. And, like, no one cared. Cary's girlfriend, Kadee Yoshenko, and her friend squad started this Pride club and it was me and, um, Sonja the lesbian and all these straight kids trying so hard to be supportive." Jon laughed ruefully.

"Damn, I haven't thought of Kadee in years," Kurt said. He thought back, frowning. "I think I dated her."

"Uh, yeah, you did. It was a bit of a sore point with Cary and they're still in touch, so maybe try not to bring it up."

"Oh shit." Kurt covered his mouth. This was as bad as his twelve step program. "Do I need to say sorry again?"

"Probably." Jon laughed a little, waving it away. "No, I'm kidding. No one's holding your past against you, Kurt. So you were an asshole in high school--join the club. We had our own shit too, it's fine."

"Oof," Kurt said, taking a big, comforting bite of his burger. "This still doesn't answer my question about prom," he said with his mouth full.

Jon's leg was jumping under the table, and he took a minute to select a few more bites and sip his coffee. "So, when I told you I'd never been kissed..."

Kurt stared at him, suddenly feeling a juicy bit of Jon White gossip ahead.

"...that's not completely true."

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