{Jon}

When Cary came in the front door, his overnight bag slung over his shoulder, Jon pretended to be absorbed in homework like it was any other Sunday. "Hey," Cary said, glancing around the kitchen. His beard and hair were back in their familiar untidy mess. "How'd it go?"

There was the sound of feet running down the stairs and Cary turned just in time for Kurt's entrance. Kurt spread his arms wide, Jon's too-small T-shirt showing a sliver of stomach above his waistband. "Surprise! Welcome home." He leaned around Cary's bulk to give Jon a puzzled look. "Why do you only have grey and black clothes? Is this a ninja thing I should know about?"

Jon was unable to conceal his grin any longer. "I hope it's okay that Kurt stayed the night." As soon as he said it, he put his fingers to his mouth to watch Cary's response.

Cary looked from one man to the other, his eyebrows lifting, and then he ducked his head, a smile spreading over his bearded face. "It's your house too. Who wants coffee?"

Two hands shot in the air.

As Cary did mysterious things at the stove to make three coffee pour overs with only one cone, Kurt dropped into the chair next to Jon, pulling him close under his arm. "What are we telling Douglas?" The words were warm in Jon's ear and, when he pulled back to check Jon's face, his blue eyes danced with laughter.

Jon tucked his cheek next to Kurt's stubbly face to speak back in his ear. "We're in the house. I think the terms apply."

He felt Kurt's chuckle against his arm. "The terms apply," Kurt repeated under his breath. "I could get quite attached to you, Jon."

"Good," Jon said, giving him a sideways smile. "Then I'm doing it right."

Kurt hummed to himself, cutting Jon sideways looks as his fingers made chords on his chest. He nudged his chin at Cary's broad shoulders. "Douglas, how was your night?"

Cary lifted his dark eyebrows innocently. "We stayed in. And yours, Visser?"

Kurt's hand found Jon's on the table and clasped it gently. "We also stayed in."

"And traded clothes," Cary commented.

Kurt laughed. "Not by choice." He plucked at the grey shirt he was wearing, making a face at the plain cotton. "Jon, you know colour exists, yes?"

Jon laughed, turning his face aside, his ears pink. "I know colour exists."

He caught Cary shaking his head at Kurt, mouthing: he doesn't.

"I have things that are... brown, I guess," Jon said. "And blue?"

Kurt watched him attempt to describe his wardrobe, his mouth opening in an appalled 'o.' "Just stop," he said in a strangled voice. He exhaled, pushing his hair into white-blond peaks. "I can work with blue," he said to himself.

Cary huffed a laugh, bringing them both steaming coffees, frothy and fragrant. "Good luck with that," he rumbled.

"I don't have anywhere to dress up for," Jon said. "I told you. School. Work. Here."

Kurt snorted. "Those all sound like places you could dress up for. I would."

"This gay is trying to blend," Jon said dryly. "In two of those three places."

"Hm. Well, as your house boyfriend, I wonder how you would feel if I shop for a few things. To wear in one of those three places. And you can try everything on for me here while I watch."

Cary snorted a laugh, covering it with a slurp of his coffee. "House boyfriend?" he said. "Is that what you're calling this?"

Jon set his chin on his hand, grateful to be saved from the alarming idea of taking his clothes off with Kurt in his bedroom. "Correct."

Cary's dark eyes tracked consideringly between the two of them. "Is this...something I should keep on the down low? You telling Mom and Dad?" He'd been using these familiar names for Jon's parents for years.

Jon pressed his lips together, glancing at Kurt's face. His 'house boyfriend' looked a little alarmed at the idea. Too soon, and maybe Kurt wouldn't even be around by the next time Jon's parents came over for dinner. "Better not," Jon said.

"Is this gonna fly with your workplace?" Cary asked.

Jon's stomach sank a little at the thought. "Not at all. Kurt can't exist outside of this house." He got to his feet, feeling the eyes of both men follow him as he went to the sink.

"Can you please explain to me again, love, why I can't exist?" Kurt's voice was light and almost feminine. "In the year of our Lord twenty-fourteen, in the great nation of Canada?"

Jon bowed his head. "I shouldn't have put it that way, Kurt, I'm sorry. You can exist. But I can't. Be anyone's boyfriend outside of this house."

Jon reached for the bouquet of flowers, running the tap to change the water in the vase. "Um. I signed a 'lifestyle agreement' as part of my contract when I took the manager position at River House. No substance abuse, no criminal activity, no sexual immorality." He clasped his hand around the tension in the back of his neck. "You know the list: adultery, fornication, homosexuality."

Jon glanced up, recalling and then trying to maintain some emotional distance from, conversations he'd had with his boss about this. "I could, in theory, be out as gay and 'non-practising.' Single and celibate, like I've been. But there's so much stigma around being a gay man I doubt they would trust me with children if they knew. My boss has pretty much said as much."

He turned and found both Cary and Kurt looking at him with grave, angry faces.

"You would be fired," Cary said. "If they knew."

Jon tucked his chin in a nod, rubbing his hand over his unsettled stomach. "Pretty sure I would be fired if they knew I was attracted to guys, period. And everything I've done with those children would be examined and suspect because I am a gay man."

Kurt sat back, his fingers over his mouth as he met Jon's eyes. Jon sensed he was upset and that was the last thing he wanted for anyone he cared about. He made himself smile, lifting his shoulders. "It's fine, Kurt, really. Don't worry about me. Literally nothing is changing for me to have you here. I've been keeping my private life private for years."

There was a tight silence and Jon's forehead wrinkled with worry, watching Kurt in the corner of his eye.

"I feel like I killed the mood," Cary said gruffly. "I'm going to take my coffee upstairs." He got up and clomped away.

{Kurt}

Kurt had not registered how relaxed and open Jon had become until all that warmth was packed up and closed away. Jon's shoulders were bunched up tight and his face was carefully neutral, glancing at Kurt. Kurt didn't know how to undo the previous five minutes to open Jon back up, when he was pretty pissed off himself.

Getting to his feet, Kurt cleared the dishes from the table to the sink. "Let me help you with these, White," he said quietly. "Then you probably have things you need to do with your day."

"I do," Jon said, half his mouth lifting in a regretful smile. "It's a homework and work day for me." He hesitated, then said, "You seem upset? Is it something I said?"

"I am upset," Kurt confirmed evenly. "It was not something you said." He bashed the plates and cups around a bit, filling the sink with sudsy water. "As your queerest friend, I have to say your homophobic workplace makes me sick. And I am upset that is just the shit you live with, Jon, day in and day out to look after those kids." He met Jon's eyes, his mouth twisting. "I got the hell out of my parent's house so I wouldn't have to live like that anymore."

"I am okay," Jon said softly.

Kurt wanted to put his hands on Jon's hunched shoulders and smooth them out again; he hated to see Jon small. "You could work for Social Services or Child Protection or Mental Health and be out. Any of the government agencies would fly a fucking rainbow flag for you."

"I couldn't be out as a Christian in those places," Jon said.

Kurt blinked at him. "Pardon?"

"I'm still a Christian, Kurt. Cary and I would be in church right now if I wasn't hosting you. It matters to me that I can be an openly Christian person at my work."

Kurt couldn't have been more stunned and horrified if Jon had told him he ate babies. "Well how does that work?" he asked blankly. He should have filtered; he saw Jon flinch a little and take a breath. Kurt tried to reign in all his big feelings--this wasn't his life they were talking about. "I'm sorry, I'm just gobsmacked. I thought gay-bashing was baked into the whole Christian jim-jam. It was at my house."

"It's really not." Jon's voice was a little edged. "That's not-anything like the Christianity I practise. Or my parents practise. I'm both, Christian and gay." He rolled out his shoulders. "I guess I should have told you up front, I'm sorry. You can--" He pushed his hand out to Kurt. "--um, you can take back the deal. If you don't want that in your life again. I would really get it."

Kurt tried to laugh. "Well, are we going to go up in flames if you do more'n hold my hand? I mean, what do I need to know about your fire insurance here?"

Jon made a dry noise. "Kurt." He shook his head once, easing forward and putting his arms around Kurt's body. Startled, Kurt's hands lifted involuntarily. Jon was so steady and warm against him, he realized he was trembling and his heart was going like he was in trouble. Jon wrapped his arms a little more securely around him, holding him chest to chest, stomach to stomach, hip to hip and Kurt let his hands settle on Jon's shoulders.

Jon's breath brushed his cheek. "We are good, love." His whisper was so soft Kurt couldn't be sure he really heard the last word. "God is for us. We are so loved."

Kurt took a long breath, hugging Jon back tight. He didn't know if he believed any of those things, but he could have stayed in Jon's arms a long time. There was something at once so comforting and electrifying about Jon's sturdy presence.

Jon sighed, turning his face so his eyelashes brushed Kurt's skin. "Are we okay? Can I see you again?"

"You can absolutely see me again," Kurt murmured back. God, Jon's skin smelled good--that lemony, clean-man smell was irresistible. He pulled away reluctantly; his body's warm interest was becoming unmistakable. Chuckling, he finger-combed his hair back into order. "I cleared my calendar for you, Jon White."

Jon's colour was high in his face as he shot Kurt a smile. "Thank you. That's--I'm glad, Kurt. Saturday?"

"What time do you want me?" Kurt asked, pulling on his boots.

"What time are you up?" Jon had his hands shoved in his pockets, his bare feet wide in the entry way.

Kurt was taking his time getting the creases of his jeans to fall right, putting off the moment he had to go. "What time are you up?" he returned mischievously.

Jon lifted his shoulders. "Seven?"

"Holy Jesus, that's early," Kurt said. (Was he going to have to filter his language for Jon now? It was kind of too late if Jon was getting in trouble for him.)

"I'll work out and shower and Cary'll make coffee and bacon and eggs. How about nine?"

Kurt grinned, the full wattage of his happiness lighting up his face. "I'll be counting the days, darlin'."

He sashayed out the door and down the steps to his car, his boots barely touching the ground. The smell of Jon's skin was still pressed in his cheek. Good Lord, twenty-four hours into being Jon White's practise boyfriend and Kurt felt like a new man.

2030 words.

*Author's note: some of you already know that Jon's workplace and it's policy on LGBTQ+ people is based on a real place in the present day. It's 2021 as I write this and stigma and prohibition still exists around LGBTQ+ identities in evangelical spaces. This was even more pronounced in 2013, when this story is set.

In 1969, Canada decriminalized 'homosexual acts between consenting adults.'

In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) de-pathologized homosexuality by removing it from the second edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).

In 2005, gay marriage was legalized in Canada.

The Canadian evangelical Christian church lags far behind this history. Pastors in evangelical denominations cannot perform gay marriages, or allow them to be performed in their church buildings. LGBTQ+ people cannot serve on staff in churches or Christian not-for-profits associated with these church denominations, unless they commit to a vow of celibacy.

We're going to unpack all this more as the story progresses, lovelies. Take care of yourselves today and be kind to one another--you are loved and held by God.*