Red Beard had only just escaped the Queen's room when he was confronted by two young, dirty faces.

He closed the woman's door, brain hardly processing the two of them. They slid past his eyes like pictures on the wall, insignificant to him in every way.

Likewise, Anya and Chicken hardly saw him, either. They still hadn't recovered by this simple shock: they had made it into the castle. Here, on this very carpet, the Queen had walked. The king had swept his finger over this very table to reprimand the cleaning staff. Here, in this very hall, the princess had demanded a third room, because two simply wasn't enough.

And yet, a Goose Girl, a Chicken Boy, and a pirate captain stood there now.

When the door had been closed and the shock had passed, they all took notice of each other. None had any grand or strange opinions of the others. The young workers fell to quiet fear at the sight of Red Beard, while the captain felt only pity and vague discomfort at the sight of them.

So they stood and stared until Red Beard cleared his throat and said, "Well? Ye be going now?" as if he'd run into them on an intersection on the road and each party had sat staring for several minutes, waiting for the other to take their carriage on past.

The boy and the girl exchanged a quick look. Then Chicken, consumed by awe and fright, said, "Oh, sir, I ain't never seen a pirate before!"

At this, Red Beard gave him an odd look. Outside, the battle raged, leaving our party of three unaffected. "Now ye have," he said. "Who be ye two?"

Shocked by his interest, Chicken fumbled for words. "I -- I'm just a boy," he choked out. "Been working at the castle all my life, not much to me."

Anya, however, had set her mind to work in the past few minutes. She saw the future, now, clear and loud: the pirates would leave and repairs would begin, draining the royal budget even more unfairly than usual. The workers on The Range would feel the brunt of it, no doubt, suffering further cuts to their already infinitesimal salaries. A quarter of a farthing, she could see it already. Being paid at the end of the month for four weeks worth of hard toil and receiving one single, bronze, useless coin.

And here in front of them stood the most attractive escape route she had ever stumbled across.

I know what you may be thinking, especially if you've met Red Beard yourself: attractive? Hardly. Well, friends, bear in mind, Anya Ryder was a very desperate young woman, indeed. One look at those sparkly, brown eyes and she was sold.

Aye, the captain would flip to know I just described his eyes as "sparkly".

Being dead does come with certain quirks, you now see. I can say what I want to you in whatever way I please, and how should anyone but you and I ever know? And likewise, you are in my hands, friend. What you know is up to me. What is my name? Perhaps you shall never know.

I apologize. Thinking on my own demise does cause me to become a bit . . . bitter. These days, you may even call me salty, which I find quite fitting for a pirate.

Anyhow, Anya Ryder saw in those sparkly, brown eyes an attractive escape route. So she played the only card she had, and not tactfully, either. See, Anya Ryder had never played a card before, because she only had one.

"My father was a pirate," she blurted out. "He was looking for the Holy Grail and I know where to find it."

Ah, yes. The stupid eagerness of youth continues to impress me to this day.

Red Beard, too, was stunned into silence. He stared at Anya, for the first time truly taking her in. Her weight concerned him -- never had he seen a girl so sickly. Two days aboard a pirate ship, he thought, and she'd be snapped clean in half. She looked at him with blue eyes far too large for her sullen face and hollow cheeks. Her lips were so faded and chapped they hardly existed, her hair thin as thread and fair as cornsilk. Her dress hung in patchy tatters around her twig of a body like the skin of a dead potato, if a potato was capable of death.

In short, Red Beard found this girl to be not only unattractive but also a liability.

But the words "Holy Grail" spun around in his head, pleading with him. I know where to find it . . . It felt like fate. He'd come here today, after all, certain this heist would end his quest. What if this was it?

No time to mull it over, though -- soon the fight would end and Red Beard would be forced to move out.

Faith has never been Moses's strong suit. He's always been a cautious one, never stepping off one platform until he had secure footing on the next. So what he did next only proves the level of desperation he'd reached.

Anya and Chicken watched with bated breath as he sprinted away from them, bursting through the side entrance straight into the fight.

"MEN!" they heard. "GATHER, NOW! OUT WITH YE! OUT!"

They exchanged a look. Chicken's eyes were wide with shock and delight, Anya's filled with tears of pure relief. Ah, to leave this wretched life behind! What could make her any happier? Nothing on Earth, she thought.

Then not a minute later, a large hand closed around Anya's arm, yanking her away from the onslaught of shouting men flooding into the hallway. "This be yer first lesson as pirates!" cried Red Beard. "On'y th' fast survive!"

And so they ran.