P A R K E R

05 | i'm awake

THE VOICES FROM downstairs woke me up. Mom was laughing and our stupid walls were so thin, I could here every part of it. I wonder what she and Trey were up to now.

I yawned widely and stretched, then winced when I received the sharp pain in my stomach, it went away immediately so that didn't become a problem. My eyes moved to the side of my bed and my hazy memory remembered that someone was supposed to be there. I gasped when I saw the night sky and wondered how long I've been asleep. I walked into the bathroom to pee and stopped to check my reflection in the mirror. I looked horrible. But better than I did today in the girl's restroom.

My skin was still pale but my eyes were back to normal. I had drooping bags under my eyes and my lips was chapped. I hurried out and in again with my makeup kit. And dabbed some colour unto my face again, covered the bags as much as I could, then applied a ChapStick. When I was semi satisfy with how I looked, I slipped my feet into my flops and went downstairs.

I walked into Trey setting dinner on the table with his ear plugs in. I could still here mum laughing in the kitchen and I walked to him, leaning in to yank the ear plugs out his ear. He turned to me with a glare. "Who is mom laughing with?" I ask ignoring his glare.

He takes the earplug back. "I don't know, she went cuckoo after a co worker called."

I walked into the kitchen and saw her talking on the phone. When she saw me, she raised a finger off, laughed once more and ended the call. "Good evening mum."

"Evening sweetie, how are you?" Mom ask grabbing a tray of food and going out to the dining. I grabbed a yogurt bottle and jug of water, following behind her.

"I'm fine. What was making you laugh so hard?" I asked really curious.

"Nothing serious. A coworker was telling a pretty hilarious story. Sorry if I woke you up but... are you really okay? You've been asleep for a really long time." She pulls out a seat and lowers herself unto it, shooting me a concerned look. A look I am starting to hate.

"I'm fine, Mom. I was just tired from school." I said to her and she nodded believing me, turning around just in time to smack Trey's hand out of the food.

"Let's say the grace first." She said and we link arms saying the grace. After that we pounce into the food, well they. I wasn't hungry and I just used my fork to push the food around while I busy myself gulping down cups of yoghurt and water. "So baby, I heard that Sean Bryan's back." Mom said breaking the silence.

"From who?" I ask not all that curious. Our town is a small one and anyone could have told her.

"Well," she dropped her fork and swallowed. "Margaret called to tell me. Apparently she travelled for a seminar this morning. Trey also informed me of his visit. And..." She drawls. "I saw him leave the house. How is he? He has changed a lot."

I lick yoghurt mustache off my lip. "Yes, he has. He's taller now and I think he's fine. Why didn't you ask him this when you saw him?"

She smiled, ignoring my question and clapping her hands together. "You guys are going to be friends again! Before he left, you were inseparable."

No. Bryce and I were inseparable. But I don't correct her, I say nothing at all. She placed a hand over my palm affectionately. "Be nice to him okay? You both lost Bryce and if he doesn't show it, you must know that he's hurting. Maybe you both can heal together."

Heal? I hate that everyone keeps saying this. Its not a broken bone. Its death. Amputation. Who heals from that? How can one heal from death?

I don't say anything. I look at her and I want her to say his name again. No one ever does anymore, its like six months is enough to forget someone. But if I ask her for that, she's gonna freak. I nod and she smiles.

"So since he's probably alone at home right now. Why don't you take dinner over to him? I made plenty."

"What?" I ask her, then shake my head negatively. "No mom, he's fine. He probably has someone over and is having dinner already."

"Nonsense." Mom says already getting up. "If he doesn't eat it tonight. He can save it up for tomorrow. Finish up yours quickly."

I pout down at my untouched. "I'm done." I pack it up and pour them into Trey's half empty plate. He gives me a thumb up in approval. "Can I not go? Trey can. They are bonding."

"What?" He removes his earplug. "Whatever you said, no. I'm busy." Then puts them back in.

Mom comes back with a big flask. "Parker, you're going." She says with finally shoving the flask to me. "And maybe spend so time over? You hardly go out anymore."

I shake my head in disbelief at my mum as I walk away. I can't believe she's actually telling me to spend time over at the Bryan household. She's the same one that use to blow my ear off whenever I stay too long there before. Granted, then my boyfriend lived there but its still the same house and I'm still going to be with a boy, so why? I walk out my house and marvel at the nice whether. Its cold out now, unlike in the mornings and afternoon when the sun is glaring. Now would be an excellent time to visit my Bryce.

As soon as I step into the porch, my hand reaches out, out of habit to the knob to open it and enter. But then I pause midway. This may still be Bryce's house but Bryce is no more. Its Sean in there and curtsey demands I knock.

I knock at the blue door and I don't need a prophecy to know that no one is going to answer. I can hear the loud music from out here and I sigh, turning around to go back but then I try my luck and turn the knob. The door opens up without a single creak. Faded by Alan Walker is blaring through the speakers and its as if the house itself is dancing to the loud music. I quickly shut the door behind me before many more noise seep out and Sean gets reported for noise pollution.

I don't see anybody in the lounge room and I stay transfixed at the spot as my eyes look over the really familiar settings. Nothing has changed. There's still a red long sofa and a blue arm chair. A small glass coffee table with a ceramic elephant at the center – Elle. A white plush carpet underneath the coffee table. A large flat scream TV. Pictures lining the wall and two abstract paintings. Nothing has been changed. My eyes move to the kitchen area and all sad, angry feeling leaves me as I see Sean walking out of the kitchen.

He doesn't see me and is typing something into his phone. He's lower half is adorning a loose grey sweatpant with two ropes hanging down. And his top, his top is cloth less. He's half naked. I can see his tanned skin clearly and the bulging muscles. His biceps are bigger than his fitted shirts make them out to be and I can see his tattoo now. Its bigger than-- well I wasn't expecting anything. Its stretches from his bicep, up to his shoulder. I can't tell what its is but it looks really beautiful on him.

Sean raises the phone to his ears and his eyes meet mine. He narrows them in confusion and lowers the phone down switching it off. "Parker?"

"Um..." What's with my voice? I turn back to the door and remembered why I was here in the first place. "I knocked. The door was open so I just... walked in."

He smirks, "and decided to silently check me out."

"What? No." I denied, shaking my head. "I just didn't expect to find you... underdressed."

He opens his mouth to say something cocky or flirty I suppose but then he shuts up and sighs. "Let me get my shirt."

I nod and watch him turn around, running upstairs. He's fit alright. Very fit. I'm tempted to look at the photos around but I know it'll do me more harm than good to me. So Instead of moping around, I walk into the kitchen to set down the flask. Everything looks as shiny as always especially the graphite counter, my favourite.

Sean comes back down and enters the kitchen, this time covered up with a maroon shirt. "So, what's up?"

"My Mom said to bring you dinner." I said gesturing to the flask.

"Seriously?" He runs to the food flask and opens it up, his eyes gleaming in delight. "Sweet! How did she know I'm starving over here? I was about to order pizza but this is good too."

I stay silent and he walks around the kitchen bringing out plates, he asks me to join him and I politely decline, telling him that I've eaten. Once he was done dishing himself and was ready to eat, I took that as my cue to leave. "So, enjoy. I'll be on my way now."

"No, Parker?" I stop. "Don't go yet."

"Why not?"

"You need to take the flask back with you." He says.

"You can just bring it over tomorrow." I say.

"Parker, don't go." He says for lack of excuses and I sigh giving in. Mom would be proud if I stayed longer, regardless of how weird that is, its true.

"Watching you eat isn't exactly past time material?" I tell him, pouring myself a glass of water.

He scoffed. "What could you possibly be doing this moment that's better than watching me eat? Re watching Twilight?"

"Many things." I say, "Re watching Twilight part of it."

He shakes his head with an amused smile. "You haven't changed."

I place a hand over my chest. "Ouch."

He looks up from him plate. "No, no, not like that. Of course you've changed. Your hair's longer. You're taller. Hotter and definitely smarter." I narrow my eyes at him, so maybe he makes my colouring for anger. "What I mean is, you're still obsessed with that sparkling vampire movie, twilight." He says it like is bile on his tongue and I gap at him. "You still get annoyed over little things like a rusty locker. Consume lots of water like a whale. And pout like a kid when something isn't going your way."

And he got all these from just two days?

I raise a finger, "First off, I'm not only obsessed with sparkling vampires. I'm also obsessed with burning the sun, ring wearing, angry vengeful, senior brother vampires."

"Okaaaay..."

I resist the urge to laugh, "and secondly," I raise a second finger. "I don't pout when something doesn't go my way." He raises a brow, "okay maybe a little fraction of me still does but its not like a kid. Its more mature."

"Okay." He says chuckling.

"And you too haven't changed all that much." I say back at him. "You still barge into peoples house like you own it, throw around that annoying smirk and behave like you know all."

He smirks and sighs wistfully. "Ah, reasons why Sean's awesome."

"Shut up and eat."

"Three years was a long time to be away from... everything Parker. I'm sure there are tons of things about you that I don't know and that's kinda annoying." He says.

No, there aren't. I'm pretty simple.

"Well, you didn't want to know then. That's why you cut off contacts right? You didn't care anymore." I say quietly.

Sean looks at me but doesn't say anything. We look at each other in silence and it isn't weird. For once I don't have the urge to look away. For once I wasn't seeing someone else through his eyes. Just him. Their eyes aren't nearly as identical as I thought. Sean's darker and has more green than blue. Sean speaks eventually. "Well if that was the case. Then its didn't. I want to know now. I care."

"It might be late. And when I pay for your bike, you wouldn't need to see me again." I tell him. "Regardless of being neighbors."

Sean nods, "but I don't want you paying for my bike. I want you to fix it yourself."

"What? And how would I do that?"

"Last I checked, your family owns an auto repair shop right?" He ask placing a hand under his chin.

"Yea?" I ask not liking where this was going.

"You've always bragged about working there someday. Are you working there now?"

I wanted to lie so badly but I'm a horrible liar. "Occasionally."

Sean smiled. "So you can work on my bike-- occasionally. Until its complete."

I frown at him. "Why do I have a feeling, you're not in a hurry to ride on it?"

He shrugs, "a certain Toyota have grown on me."

"No, no. Not my Toyota. You have to find another means to transport yourself."

He pouted, "but you damaged my bike and now you can't even give me a ride? Gosh, Parker, I'm not even asking for much."

Urgh!

"Fine whatever." I say getting from the stool. "Enjoy the rest of your dinner. I'm going to bed, I need to wake up early for a jog."

"Thanks for the company and thank Mrs Holt." He says as I walk away.

"Yea yea."

"And Parker?"

"What?" I snapped at him, turning around to face him.

He smiled. "Goodnight."

I regret my harsh tone for second. "Yea, goodnight too."

•  •  •

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