S E A N

10 | my heaven

I was standing in a line. A line where I was the only male present. A line for the female restroom in Parker's friend nephew's Aunty's second husband's club. It was kinda funny the way girls and ladies were looking at me and the guys from the guy section too. Some girls winked and giggled at me and some shot my disgusted looks but I couldn't care less.

I was waiting for someone and if she didn't come out in the next five minutes, I'm going in there myself. The things I did for Parker Holt. I planned to write my drop out letter today because I've procrastinated it enough and my father was on my ass.

"You're a Bryan, Sean. We don't drop out of schools especially ones as important as this." He had barked over the phone, saying this for the millionth time since I dropped out of military school and hightailed back to Payne; my home.

"Dad, Mr Huge Bryan, I'm not going back." I told him and the line went silent for a minute. Dad always had something else to say, he did every day he called for the past two months. But I know why he was silent now. We the Bryan men had a talent of noting things like this. He was silent because for all the times he has called this was the first time I was saying it with Finality.

When I broke out of military school, he took that lightly, mainly because, my cousin, my brother, his nephew was dead. He had been dead for five months and everybody kept me in the dark. Dad even attended his burial and I didn't. The worst part was I had to force it out of them. Its strange and weird that Bryan hadn't contacted me in five months. The highest we went without speaking to each other was three weaks and that's because I'm only allowed communication with the outside world, once a month.

Bryce never missed this day. We'd talk about the whole month that day. So when he missed it the first time I was suspicious but Margaret told me he traveled for an away game and forgot his phone. The second month, she said he went to an emergency camp and that's when I knew something was wrong. Bryce wasn't a camp person, lack of vehicles and means of transport was his phobia. Running and walking to be exact.

The third month I insisted on speaking to him or  they should tell me what's wrong. Margaret denied and said he was sick. Her voice was fishy and I already knew something was terribly wrong. I asked to leave but I needed parent or guardian permission and consent. Dad refused me. I even had to turn to my mum but even she refused. That's when I started plotting my escape.

Our school wasn't an easy one and it took me two months to actually succeed and break free. I came straight over to Payne and Margaret fessed up. I can't explain my feelings in words but I didn't want to stay. I was plagued by memories and Dad and the Principal were demanding my presence back. I was going to go back. Throw myself at studying and work and see how life turns out. I was already packing my things up to leave but Margaret said something that had me stuck. Something that made me stay. Something that rearranged my direction and purpose. I was mad at her for keeping this from me and she didn't want me to leave still mad at her.

"I didn't want to tell you because I was scared. I was scared that you wouldn't take it well like Parker. I can't risk losing another one of you!"

Parker. Parker. Parker. My Parker. Parker Holt.

Faces of the most beautiful girl I had and have ever seen flashed through my eyes. My heart clenched and I broke down. I don't know when last I cried like that. Margaret held me as we crumbled to the floor.

"Parker? What happened to Parker?! Where's Parker?" I couldn't even start imagining anything bad happening to her. "Where the fuck is she?"

That day Margaret called Sandra Holt. According to Margaret they were in Peru. I wanted to speak to Sandra but I couldn't, Sandra refused me. Sandra, Mrs Holt told me not to insist on talking to her because she was just starting to recover and hearing my voice might send her back to the start. I didn't speak to Parker that day or any other day but I called everyday. I talked to Sandra everyday and she gave me bit and bit of information on Parker's well being and state of mind. I knew the first day she interacted with somebody that wasn't a family member or hospital staff, Sandra was elated. For two months Sandra and I talked and developed a kind of friendship. She'd celebrate with me and rant too but she made sure not to give out private information.

I knew the day she arrived town. I didn't want to crowd her with my presence, so I stayed away. I can't believe I almost hit her with my car, that stupid car and then I went ahead to not recognize her. I'm so stupid. Since I returned to Payne everywhere have been dark, with Bryce absent, the grieve and pain held me down like a big unmovable bag on my shoulders. Its like everyday I was sinking into an abyss of depression and Payne didn't feel like home. I spent my two months here like a robot; helping Margaret out in her supermarket, hanging out with Blake to play mindless video games and riding my motorcycle around. Every single day went by wasted.

Until Parker returned. I hadn't even seen her yet but I felt her presence. I didn't feel so down anymore and I could actually feel the summer sun. I was anxious to meet her and nervous too. I didn't leave on a good note three years ago and I haven't spoken to her ever since. I knew she'd hate me but she's actually taking my arrival nicely and that's what's bothered me. The Parker Holt I knew would bang the door in my face the minute she saw me. She would have thrashed and squirmed against my hug until I released her and I would have had to go carry her down the room myself for dinner because she's stubborn like that.

I still saw the real stubborn side of her but some times she didn't care enough to act stubborn. I know she's hurting and its hurting me because there's nothing I can do to help. The only thing I have is my presence and I don't know if that means anything to her right now. She's still as beautiful as ever, even more now. The most beautiful girl to me. But she's not the same Parker as three years ago. Now she's not in love with me anymore. I'm not sure how I feel about that. She's certainly is more mature and damn... Now she certainly knows how to dance more now.

The door to restroom opened up and Parker came stumbling out. I immediately left the line and went over to her. Her dress had ridden up, stopping at her ass and a strap of her dress was down on her arm. She didn't have her makeup on anymore but there were remnants of her red lipstick left. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy.

"Parker are you alright?" I ask looking for the best way to adjust her dress back down. I don't think there's a right way for this that won't make me seem like a pervert.

She nodded her hair bouncing along with her. "I want to go home."

"No more clubbing?" I asked distracting her as my hand reached down to draw her dress down. Oh Christ. My hand bunched her dress and drew it down, ignoring the fact that I just touched her ass.

Parker looked down at me with an amused smile and saved me more embarrassing moment by adjusting her dress by herself. "Yea no more clubbing. I'm tired and, " she stared off to a distance. "It doesn't feel so right."

"Fine. Wait here while I go get your friend, Nova."

"No." She took hold of my hand. "I'm suffocating in here. I need air."

I wrapped my hands around her and lead her out of the club. She sighed in relief as the cold air hit our faces. The temperature here was so different than inside the club. Outside here was cold and you could literally perceive the summer air leaving. Parker pulled herself out of my embrace and wrapped her hands around herself.

"Its beautiful." She murmured looking up at the twinkling stars.

"Yea."

"Bryce can't see them now." She murmured again. I didn't say anything to that. This is the first time she's saying his name to me. She rubbed her eyes like a sleepy child and turned to me. "Thank you."

"For?"

"Being here." She moved closer to me. "I'm mad at you though."

I smiled. I know. "Why?"

"You know."

Nobody said anything else and we stayed in comfortable silence. "I'll make it up to you Parker." I tell her and she nods.

"Let's go home."

I liked the way she said that. I nodded, "Let me get your friend. Wait right okay." She nodded and I ran back into the club. I weaved through the mass of body, searching for Parker's dirty blond friend. It took me minutes to find her. She was giggling with some guy and I immediately stepped in between them.

"We're leaving."

"What? So soon, it isn't even midnight yet." She grumbled. I shrugged and she sighed. "You guys can go without me. I'll hitch a ride with my nephew's Aunty's second husband, Ralph."

I glanced at the guy behind me, he looked normal but you can never be so sure. "Where's Ralph?"

She turned to the bar and pointed at a tall bearded man giving orders to the young bartender. "That one."

"You're gonna find him when you want to leave?" I ask her still skeptical. Maybe I should just take her out without her permission?

"Yup."

"Nova, don't leave with a strange guy." I tell her loud enough for the guy behind me to here and he sure did.

"Hey, who are you calling strange?"

Nova smiled. "I won't, Sean."

"Okay." I glared at the strange guy before leaving running out to go meet Parker. Only Parker wasn't outside anymore.

"Shit! Fucking shit!"

I ran back to her car but she wasn't there. I rounded the club two times looking for her but I didn't see her anywhere. I called her line but it just rang out.

"Parker, where the hell are you?!"

I can't believe I just lost a drunk girl. I just lost Parker.

•  •  •

Uh oh. Where do you think drunk Parker went off too? How could Sean lose her?!

And how do you like Sean's POV?

Vote and comment.