"Urgh..." Hiccup muttered, opening his eyes, only to see an unfamiliar ceiling. He bolted up, only to cause a sharp pain in his stomach and head, which made him fall back onto the bed, groaning in pain. Whoops.

It's still affecting me... Hiccup thought to himself. Two weeks had passed since he collapsed from lack of food. Lavender and Toothless had combined forces since then, to make Hiccup eat everything given to him at every meal.

Hiccup felt disgusting.

He had disguised his issue with eating before; as lack of hunger, as lack of time, as lack of sanity even! But he subconsciously knew the truth.

He enjoyed it.

He enjoyed the lack of food gurgling in his stomach, sending small pains throughout the day. It made him feel in control – and in a situation like the one he's currently going through, he's completely powerless. He can't affect anything.

Except himself.

That's where the eating issue jumped in.

The forcefulness of Lavender and Toothless meant that he had to eat everything given to him – and it had been that way for two weeks. The sudden change in the amount Hiccup had been eating caused some painful side effects – including some small pains in his head and stomach – especially in the early morning. He just rose too suddenly, upon seeing the ceiling again.

Which leads to the second problem.

He still couldn't see Astrid's house as his home. Just seeing the ceiling in the morning was enough to send his mind into a state of worry, before his brain could catch up to him and remind him that he was there by choice.

He slowly sat up, and stretched. It had been exactly three weeks and three days since everyone started ignoring him. Four more days, and he could call it a month. While keeping track of his personal hell isn't that important, he felt it necessary to focus on the more insignificant parts, to keep his mind away from the real things.

As he got dressed, Lavender banged gently on his door, stirring Toothless awake.

"Breakfast's on the table! Hurry up or it'll go cold!" She called. Hiccup called back, saying he'd be down soon, and sent Toothless ahead of him. Toothless growled, knowing what Hiccup was about to do.

He'd have been crazy to not have smelled all that blood after all.

Then there's the third problem.

Hiccup's lack of control.

While the events that are currently unfolding are completely out of his control, the eating disorder Hiccup developed gave him a sense of control that was otherwise unobtainable. When that was taken away...

He had to find a replacement.

Hiccup walked into the bathroom, and turned on the tap – a way to pretend that he was brushing his teeth or washing his face, or... something.

Instead he took out his razor, hidden from behind the sink, and began to slice his skin. He used the water running from the tap to clean it after he was done. Once he cleaned the cuts enough to begin bandaging them, he took a moment to count each new cut he made.

Seven new cuts.

When added to the total – it made twenty-four. Twenty-four cuts on his arms.

Hiccup sighed, a sense of relief and calm filling his veins. Once carefully bandaging his wounds, he really did brush his teeth and wash his face. He pulled his fingers through his hair, not bothering to comb it, and left the bathroom.

Before he went to eat breakfast, he pulled his sleeves down to hide the bandages. While it was impossible to hide his scars from Toothless, he could at least hide them from Lavender and Ivar, Lavender's husband and Astrid's father. Toothless' sense of smell was too extreme to not notice the smell of dried blood emitting from Hiccup's arms.

Hiccup went into the front room of Astrid's house and sat at the table, a plate of eggs and toast in front of him. The sight alone made him feel uneasy. The smell made him want to throw up.

It looked, smelled and probably tasted amazing.

But Hiccup didn't want to eat anything.

He glanced pleadingly at Lavender and Toothless (Ivar had already left for sea voyages), but they just glared at him.

"Eat." Lavender sternly said to him. Toothless growled, practically daring Hiccup to not eat the food. After hearing their responses, Hiccup sighed in defeat and grumpily cut into his egg and popped a small piece into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. Immediately their gazes softened. Toothless jumped over to Hiccup and he petted Toothless on the head, accepting Toothless' support, and he slowly, painfully, finished his meal.

When Hiccup – finally! – finished, Lavender walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"I'm proud of you Hiccup. You're doing amazingly." She said, smiling at him.

"Uhh, thanks, Lavender!" Hiccup said, guiltily, trying to shield his arms from her sight. It was really nice to hear from someone – anyone – that he made them proud, but what she said to him was false. He wasn't coping, the scars on his arms were proof of that. But he allowed himself to be hugged by her – even though he didn't deserve it.

He mentally shook his head, and focused on not making any sudden (suspicious) movements, and tried to be as still as possible.

I am a rock. He thought. When Lavender finally let him go, he sighed, feeling air return to his lungs again.

What a waste.

"So, will you be going to the forge today?" Lavender asked him, while washing his dish, and Toothless' basket, now empty of fish.

"Probably," Hiccup replied, "Apparently Snotlout had some sort of order for the forge that he wanted to collect today. Personally, I think he just wants to insult me more."

"I wonder why he ordered something so late...?" Lavender said, so deep in thought she skimmed over the 'insult me more' section of Hiccup's sentence.

"He mentioned Dad when talking about it yesterday, so he probably had something to do with it." Honestly, Hiccup had no idea how he currently felt about his Dad. This is the person whom Hiccup thought had finally accepted him, and it turns out to be some sort of imaginary fantasy.

Sometimes Hiccup would wake up in the middle of the night and would think that this whole month had just been some scary nightmare.

That's just wishful thinking. No one cared before, why would they care now?

"Guess I'll be going now. Bye Lavender!" He called, walking out the door. He whistled as he walked to the forge, a way of passing time and a way of making him feel calm. Toothless softly nudged Hiccup lovingly as they went to the forge, also enjoying the tune.

The tune stopped as soon as they walked inside the forge. Gobber was asleep nearby, and had written the details for Snotlout's creation (some strange 'super weapon' combination of a mace, axe and sword...) on a piece of parchment and had pinned it to the table with one of his swords.

Hiccup sighed and got to work.

---Time Skip---

"Everyone gather in the Great Hall!" Stoick shouted to the villagers. Hiccup peeked out from the forge, holding Snotlout's 'Super Weapon' and Stoick stared at him.

"You too... Hiccup." He spat. Hiccup took a step back into the forge, but Gobber ushered him out, and dragged Hiccup with him to the Great Hall.

Once there, the doors were shut. The entire village was there, including Lavender and Ivar, who waved at him happily. He waved back, but stopped when Gobber looked at him, not wanting Lavender and Ivar to get into trouble.

Snotlout came up to him and demanded his 'Super Weapon'. Hiccup tentatively gave it to him, and Snotlout snorted at him.

"It's a bit small, but it'll do." He said. "Thank Gobber for me, Useless!" As he strolled off, Hiccup muttered under his breath.

I made those... They're all my handiwork... But everyone thinks Gobber made them. I wrote my initials on the base of all the weapons, but no one appears to have noticed... What's going on? He thought to himself.

Maybe nobody wants to accept that I'm anything more than a pet rock to throw around.

Maybe... I am.

Hiccup shook his head. That's not true! I made those amazing weapons, and I'm gonna be the future chief! I may appear to be useless, but I'm Stoick's son! I will get through this, like I've done everything else. I've got Toothless, and he's all I need to get by... right?

"Is everyone here?" Stoick called out. No one mentioned anyone missing, so Stoick nodded, and continued talking. "I'm standing here today to make an important announcement. As you may know, Snotlout's been sleeping in my house. That's because I'm training him. I'm training him to be our future chief!"

As the crowd roared in agreement, Hiccup could do nothing but stare, as Snotlout walked up to Stoick, brandishing his weapon. He'd forgotten. The entire reason he left his house was because of Snotlout replacing him, but something in him begged it not to be true, and instead of accepting it, he'd shoved it aside. He regretted it now.

The only people not applauding and cheering was Lavender and Ivar.

Everyone else in the village preferred Snotlout to Hiccup.

Everyone else thought he was useless.

Maybe... they really are right... Hiccup thought.

Then came the final blow.

Stoick and Snotlout stood side-by-side widely accepting the applause. The crowd roared, and Snotlout was given a new shroud, which he happily put on. The painter came over, and Stoick put his arm around Snotlout, giving him a one-armed hug.

That's my hug. Stoick is my father, and he's acting like my bully is his real son!

Hiccup snapped.

Angry he tore from Gobber's grasp on his shoulder and pushed past everyone in the crowd. He furiously got onto the table/stage Stoick and Snotlout were on, and shoved them apart. Snotlout fell off the table onto the floor, and Stoick crashed onto the table, sitting up afterwards in pain. Completely ignoring them both, Hiccup turned to the crowd.

"How could you?" He asked, tears in his eyes. "HOW COULD YOU?!"

He was met with silence.

He wiped his tears with his sleeve and continued. "You think Snotlout's a better chief than me? He may look more like my father, but I'm the one who'll keep everyone alive! I bet Snotlout's not even carved a stick, let alone crafted a weapon out of Gronckle Iron, which is NOT easy. You think Gobber made you all that stuff? Look at the base of your weapons. Then you'll know who the real master is."

Everyone took out their weapons, and read the initials on the base. Hiccup's initials. Hiccup made these weapons. Snotlout shakily looked at his weapon – Hiccup's initials.

"Yeah, now you see," Hiccup addressed the shocked crowd, "now you see how foolish you've been. You gave Gobber all this credit, and had the nerve to call me useless!" Hiccup's voice broke when he said the last word, and took a moment to calm himself.

"If it weren't for Lavender and Ivar, I don't know where I'd be after Stoick kicked me out of the house... Imagine that – your family shoving you out, as if you don't matter, as if you're worth nothing. I just... how could you? How could you? How could you...?"

He sank to the floor in tears, refusing to say anything else.

All the villagers felt guilty. No one knew what to do. Comfort Hiccup? Or continue with the plan?

Snotlout decided that for them.

Right when Stoick's heart broke enough to comfort his son, right when he stretched his arm out, he heard Snotlout's voice from across the Hall, having walked over there during Hiccup's speech.

"If you made these weapons, they must be awful. I don't want anything you made." He said, before chucking his weapon into the fire. The weapon stayed undamaged for a few minutes, then he ordered Hookfang to finish it, and the dragon blasted fire and smacked it with his tail and teeth until it lay in pieces.

One by one, the villagers all joined in, bashing and destroying Hiccup's weapons.

Even Stoick.

Stoick glanced over at Lavender and Ivar, who were shakily holding their weapons.

"What are you both doing? Destroy them!" He ordered.

They both handed their tools to their dragons, who broke them apart.

Hiccup also broke.

He screamed in anguish, and tore through everyone again, shoving the doors to the Great Hall wide open, and got onto Toothless' back.

Before he took off, he gazed at everyone, barely any light in his eyes.

"I see how it is." He said, tears once again in his eyes. "If you really think I'm so useless, then when you find me next, I hope you'll be happy."

With that, he took off with Toothless on his back, returning to Lavender's house. Toothless immediately tried to comfort Hiccup, unaware of what he was planning.

"Toothless, do you mind if I take a stroll by myself for a while?" He asked him. Toothless' gaze saddened, but he nodded anyway.

Hiccup smiled – for the last time he hoped – and patted Toothless' head.

"Be a good dragon, bud."

He then left the house, going back home.

Once he arrived to his house, and dug around his closet until he found what he had hidden two weeks ago. When that was retrieved, he wrote a note, hands shaking.

There you go, you got what you wanted.

Will you miss me? I doubt it.

I had no one in this world,

And you couldn't leave me alone...

Well, you're wish is granted.

I hope you're happy.

- Hiccup

Now it was written, Hiccup had to hurry, before Toothless suspected what Hiccup was going to do. What Hiccup was about to do.

With trembling hands, Hiccup set the note on his desk, and wrote some last messages in his diary, for certain people. If they bothered to look for answers they'd find them.

Before leaving his desk, he grabbed his stool, and dragged it to the middle of the room. He got the rope he left after retrieving it from the closet and tied it onto the ceiling.

He climbed onto the stool and tied the other end of the rope around his neck, slightly enjoying the sense of strangulation his neck was already feeling.

He used all his strength...

And kicked the stool away from him.

Yes, that just happened. No, I will not change it. I... may be a little crazy, but I've just done a week of mocks, so don't judge me! I've got three next week too... Ahhhhhhh!

Sorry for the long wait, I've had to focus the majority of my time on studying for my mocks (important practise tests), and I haven't had the time to update – I barely wrote a sentence last week! I wrote a sentence-and-a-half, so I did better than I thought, but still... I made this chapter much longer than normal, to make up for it. Yay! Hopefully the next chapter will take a much shorter time to come out, haha.

Anyway, it's almost been a month! Soon Alvin will get here! But will he find Hiccup, Hiccup's corpse, or will he not find Hiccup at all?? I guess we'll find out next chapter!

But for now...

Peachy out! 😊