"What are you doing here?"

"I live here," JP deadpans; I roll my eyes as he chuckles.

"I mean, why aren't you at your grand opening?" I gesture with my arms wide as I move towards the fridge to get some water.

"Adonis can handle it."

"What about Charlotte?"

"What about her?" He leans up against the island and crosses his arms. I try not to focus on how good he looks in the damn suit.

"Won't she be pissed you stood her up or whatever?" I wave my hand dismissively in the air.

"I don't give a fuck what she thinks or feels," JP shrugs. "And the business meeting was short since she didn't want to back down or negotiate."

He pushes away from the island, "When were you going to tell me Charlotte threatened you?" He looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

I shrug as I take a sip of water. "I could handle it."

Enzo walks in, and I hand him his phone. "I gotta go do a job, but I'll be back next week." He hugs me and kisses my head. "You need to rest. Please take care of yourself, Stella mia. "

I nod as I hug him. "Isn't it too soon after...after Gio?"

Enzo breathes in deeply, "This is what I do, Stella."

"I know, but Gio was personal. Please be careful."

"Always am. I'll be back for the big gathering next week. So we can sit together and make fun of JP while he talks to everyone," He grins at me.

I laugh as I hop up to sit on the island."Deal."

Enzo chuckles and ruffles my hair before walking out.

"I swear he gets more annoying every day," JP mutters as he walks up next to me.

I snort, "You love him, and you know it." I poke his chest.

JP grabs my hand quickly, and the old familiar tingles from his touch erupt on my skin. I try to pull my hand away, but he holds onto it firmly. I forget how big his hands are compared to mine as I watch his thumb trail down his initials on my finger; he does that whenever he has held my left hand.

"Love is a strong word," JP says, looking down at my finger. I watch as his eyebrows pull together, and he moves his eyes slowly up, pausing on my lips before they meet my eyes. "I don't use it lightly."

His other hand moves to my face and traces my bottom lip while licking his lips slowly. I'm glad I'm sitting as I feel my legs trembling.

"I would say, I strongly...like Enzo." The corners of his mouth lift slightly, and I smile at him; his dark eyes hold so much emotion as I gaze at him, getting lost in their intensity.

"Oh, scusi," My mom walks into the kitchen; she looks between us and smiles. I lean away from JP to catch my breath, not realizing how close we are to each other.

"John Paul, Toby is asking for you before going to bed."

"Grazie, Isabella, I'll be there in a minute." She nods, giving me a broad smile, her eyebrows lifting as she does before she turns away. JP turns to face me again, and his hands hold onto my hips, squeezing slightly. His dark brown eyes stare back at me, and I feel like I'm going to melt under his intense gaze.

"Get some rest, princess." He holds my face and places a kiss on my forehead, and walks out of the kitchen.

I take a deep breath and place the cold water bottle on my neck, face, and forehead to cool my hot skin. After a few minutes, I finally feel steady enough to walk.

I make my way out of the kitchen and head to my room. As I roam the hallways, I wonder if I'll be able to get some sleep tonight. Kai, Miles, and Lucy had taken the younger girls out for some frozen yogurt after dinner, with a security detail, of course; they should be back soon.

The entourage of guards is something Kai and Lucy have struggled to get used to.

But then there's Miles.

He likes to play it off by pretending that he's someone famous and even offers to sign autographs for people when they stare as their group walks around. The responses of strangers thinking they know who he is, just for fear of actually missing out on talking to or getting something signed by someone "famous" is not only ridiculous but pretty damn funny.

But it's even funnier when they claim they recognize him from a show or movie.

Santino and Joey took Marco out to the batting cages. He has a baseball camp coming up but may not end up going considering how he's been feeling, even though he told JP he wanted to go.

I know he wants to stay busy, but I worry that he's avoiding what has happened. He and Carmen have a better understanding than their younger siblings, but unlike Carmen, he hasn't spoken to anyone about how he feels.

JP wanted to wait a few weeks before resuming their therapy sessions, which I understand, but I think it's time to approach the subject with him.

After a soothing bath, I check my phone and respond to Lucy and Kai's texts and pictures they sent me of their time with the girls.

I contemplate reading a book or if I should just crash for the night. But my stomach grumbles, and I decide to get a snack.

As I approach the kitchen, I slow down when I hear several loud voices and murmuring down the hallway coming from the conference room.

"Everyone, settle down," Adonis's voice carries into the hallway.

"It's Jimmy," Cristian says calmly. "It has to be. The Albanian's don't have the balls to take us on directly like this."

I peer around the corner and see gruesome pictures of a slaughtered family on the projection screen.

"He may be the one calling the hits, but the Albanians are his executioners, and now they put themselves as targets," JP says, his eyes are closed as he rubs his forehead. "This is only one of three attacks that occurred overnight. The other two were in Boston and Miami, and their outcomes were just as horrible and gut-churning; I can't let this go without consequence, Cristian."

JP sighs. "Vito wants us to focus on taking out leaders of the Albanians."

"Cut the head of the snake off?" Joey prompts, and I sigh, wondering what he's doing in there. He hasn't been involved with the family as much with Annalisa being pregnant.

"Yes, so to speak, but..." JP pauses as he looks out the window of the conference room, looking into the night sky.

"You think they'll retaliate even worse?" Cristian comments.

"I didn't want to start a war unless I absolutely had to," JP tells them. "but now, with this." He gestures towards the pictures.

"If you give the green light, without being certain it's them, it could create bigger problems, John Paul." Cristian counters. "I know Vito urged you to make a move, but what if it puts Enzo and the others at risk?"

"You were there; Topo, Rocco, and Enzo all volunteered, no one asked them to go, Cristian," JP states.

My attention peaks at the mention of Enzo and my other friends, and I move closer to hear better.

"David was able to get footage from several cameras from each attack, and Mateo filtered them; it's them, Cristian," Adonis informs them. "David and Mateo will be working on getting us feed as they tap into their security system so we can see what is going on when they infiltrate."

JP moves back to the table. "Enzo will let us know when they land in Jersey; he will be mapping out his plan tomorrow; that is all for tonight."

I hurry down the hallway and run back up the stairs. I grab my phone and call Enzo, but it goes straight to voicemail; he must still be flying.

If Cristian is worried, then this can't be good. He doesn't like to do anything unless he knows he's confident of the outcome.

I have to figure out a way to help Enzo.

But for now, I try to focus on the breathing techniques I used to do when I lay awake with a racing mind. I breathe in deeply and exhale slowly; I need to get some rest if I'm going to help Enzo, and it isn't long before my body succumbs to the exhaustion, and I fall asleep quickly.

<><><><>

I wake up startled and sweating from a nightmare. I reach over for my phone.

4:30 a.m.

I panic, realizing, by now, either Carmen or Toby or both would have had one of their nightly wake-ups. I climb out of bed and make my way to their rooms to check on them.

Both Toby and Carmen are still asleep, and I'm relieved, hoping there will be more "normal" days ahead than rough ones. I check on the other kids as well. Lola fell asleep on the floor. And Marco is sleeping on top of the covers, still in his clothes. A picture of Tobias and Melanie lays next to him. Lucy, Miles, and Kai are all sleeping soundly.

I yawn but know sleep will not come quickly for me now that I'm wide awake. So I head to the gym, deciding to do a quick workout before everyone wakes up. I greet a few men on night patrol on the main floor as I walk through the quiet hallways.

As I get closer to the gym, I can see dim lights coming through the glass door. The overhead lights are not on, but other lights along the walls are.

I peek in and don't see anyone right away and open the door. The sound of old rock music reaches my ears as I walk in further, and then I hear grunts and hissing breaths, followed by the sounds of someone hitting a punching bag.

I peer around the edge of the wall and catch a glimpse of JP working out. His hair is tied in a half top-knot, and he's shirtless in a pair of joggers. I have a full view of his back, and I see he's covered up the large-scale tattoo he used to have on his back.

Instead, there's some sort of angel or reaper, I can't tell from where I'm standing, but it covers his whole back. The hands of the image grip a sword pointing down in the center.

JP alternates between throwing different punches and kicks at the bag; a sly smile crosses my face as I make my way stealthily closer to startle him, but I stop when his grunts begin to sound more like yells and screams of rage.

I watch as he unleashes a fury of punches that leave him panting, holding onto the bag, and then he slides down, falling on his knees, and his heavy pants turn into choked sobs. I rush over to him, falling to my knees next to him, and put my arms around him.

He holds onto me so tight, it's almost hard to breathe, but I don't let go. His full weight is on me, and I struggle to hold him upright and end up sitting back as he lays his head on my lap.

I talk to him quietly, trying to soothe his anguished cries. His body is warm and damp from his workout. His hair that isn't tied up is wet and sticks to his neck from the sweat, but I run my fingers through it anyway. My fingertips trace lightly over the tattoo on his back; I can now see it's a large grim reaper in a hooded cloak; several bodies and skulls lay at its feet.

But my fingertips also skim over dips and raised skin on his back, and I realize they're whip marks and scars; it's why he probably covered up the other tattoo.

JP sits up and moves next to me. He wipes at his face and clears his throat. He doesn't say anything for a moment. "It's not fair." He says quietly; a fresh set of tears fall down his face, and I reach over to wipe them away.

"I'm the one who shouldn't be here," JP says. "I keep surviving, while everyone else that's good and decent ends up dying around me."

"My mom, Dominic, Tobias, Carmela. I know you hated Timo, but he died trying to save me and now Mel." He leans back and brings his legs in, and holds his hands around the top of his knees.

"I should have died after I took those sleeping pills," He stares off into the room. "The bullet that Jimmy shot me with was only a few centimeters from a major artery. Then the car accident or the assassination attempt should have killed me too. If I had been wearing a seat belt, I would have been pinned and crushed; how crazy is that?"

JP looks down at his feet and sighs. "I lied when everyone asked me if it was intentional...about the pills. I said it was an accident, but I hated myself so much that I didn't want to live anymore. The pain of not having you home with me was unbearable, not knowing where you were if you were safe, alive... and the guilt of what I did to you--you were right--if I hadn't had done what I did, they wouldn't have found you so easily. I sent you straight to them, gift wrapped in a fucking bow," He wipes at his face angrily.

"We would have been married by now, and our baby..." His breath hitches, and he holds his face in his hands. I watch as he groans and rubs his face hard, and I wipe at the tears that fall down my face, too.

"They would have found me, JP," I say quietly, staring at the floor. He sniffs, and from the corner of my eye, I see him look over at me. "It wouldn't matter if I was here or Paris or anywhere else. Whether you were with me or not...They would have found me, and they would have done what they did anyway."

"No." He reaches for my hand. "I wouldn't have let them."

"JP, I'm sorry I blamed you, but you couldn't have stopped them. Between me, Enzo, Joey, and even Cardinale's guy, Mario, who helped, we couldn't stop what happened from happening." I explain, trying to make him understand.

He shakes his head at me. "I'm not them."

I smile at him and squeeze his hand as he looks at me. "I know you're not, John Paul. But you're not invincible."

His eyebrows scrunch together as he looks at me, then he looks away, pulling his hand from mine. He holds his wrists again. "Tony said something similar. Well, he said I was invincible because I can't die or haven't yet."

"And you won't." The thought makes my pulse start to race.

"Everyone dies, princess. It's just a matter of when," He says somberly.

"So...you remember talking to Tony, then?" I ask quietly, somewhat apprehensive of how he'll react. JP nods his head, still looking at his hands.

"I didn't after you clocked me, but as Adonis retold me, it started to come back to me." He gnaws on his bottom lip. "You wouldn't have recognized him if you saw him, Stella." He shakes his head, staring out into the room again. "Do you remember how scared I would get when I was a kid when he would get angry?"

"Yes," Remembering clearly, how we would hide around the house as kids to avoid him, but that only made Tony angrier.

"He wasn't even a shadow of his old self; it was like he had given up long before we found him. He just looked so...weak." JP's eyes fill with tears again. "Do you know what I felt when Adonis told me I had actually shot him--killed him?"

I don't say anything as I keep watching him, and he looks over at me, and the tears fall down his face.

"Nothing. I felt nothing, Stella. That's why I don't get why I'm still here. I'm not a good person or even decent, for that matter."

"Yes, you are, JP."

"Don't," He stands up quickly. "You of all people should think otherwise after what I did and said to you."

I stand, walking quickly to catch up to him and grab his arm, to stop him. "If I can let it go, you should too."

He laughs in a huff, "You let it go? Give me a fucking break." He picks up a towel and wipes his face and chest. I see the bullet scar on his chest; I don't realize I'm tracing the scar with my fingertips until he reaches for my hand.

"You're a good person, JP. Melanie would not have trusted you with her kids if she thought otherwise, and you know it." I cup his face. "You have to forgive yourself."

"I don't think I can."

"You will," I smile softly at him, and we keep looking at each other. I briefly look away before I look back up at him, "I want to apologize for that morning; I snapped at you when we woke up together. I'm sorry, I know you were just trying to be there for me."

JP runs his fingers lightly along with my hair, "Enzo says it was just your way of coping, 'people with trauma use self coping mechanisms and push people away, people that they love,'" he uses air quotes.

"He might have a point," I say quietly, as I reach for his hand and move my fingers over his tattoos before I meet his thoughtful gaze; my eyes move slowly to his mouth, and then I see him smirk.

"Don't look at me like that princess, or I won't be able to stop myself from doing indecent things to you right here on the gym floor." I gasp as his words sink in.

"Capo."

Our heads snap towards the same direction, and Adonis is standing with a few of the men at the gym entrance.

Adonis looks between JP, and I interlace my hands in front of myself. JP draws a mask over his face, and his features harden as he faces his men.

"Forgive the intrusion; Vito is on the phone. We also need to go over a few things for the gathering."

"Give me ten minutes," JP tells him, so serious.

"Don't flatter yourself, JP. You don't need that long," I punch his shoulder, laughing. Adonis and the men chuckle as I approach them.

"I'm going to get you for that!" JP's deep voice calls out, but it only makes me laugh harder. 

~~~~~

A/N: Progress, but will it last??? Hahaha