My head feels heavy and foggy.

I shouldn't have drunk that entire bottle of whiskey last night.

The kids were all asleep by the time I got home, and I was glad; they shouldn't have had to see me in the condition I was in, not again.

There was a moment of panic when I had walked into the penthouse, where I seriously contemplated waking up the kids to get out of here, to leave. But as I looked in on them sleeping, I couldn't do it. I knew I was freaking out and just needed to calm down.

Then I found the liquor cabinet and don't remember the rest of the night.

My eyes protest my attempt to open them at first, but I look around and notice I'm in my room, at least.

I peer down over myself and notice one of my boobs is out of the plunging neckline of the jumpsuit that I'm still wearing from the night before. I try to roll my eyes at myself, but the movement hurts more than it should.

I rub my eyes gingerly and glance at the clock on the nightstand and shoot up--instantly regretting it. I groan, massaging the sides of my head like it will help alleviate the live drum session going on inside; I look back at the clock again.

1 p.m.

Awesome.

I notice the tall glass of water on the nightstand, next to the empty whiskey bottle, with a note that says 'drink me' and then a bottle of Advil with a message that says 'take me.'

I try to shut out the memory of when I wrote the same note for JP, the morning after I found him drunk in the kitchen, the night after he kissed me that lit a fire within me. Tears escape even though my eyes are screwed shut tightly.

Why does this keep happening?

The tears start flowing as I remember looking into his eyes, the same eyes that looked back at me before I watched him get shot--when I thought he died--when he told me he loved me for the last time--but yesterday, his eyes were distant, with a flicker of confusion.

The effect he still has on me when we touched after all this time is undeniable. Despite the anger, and the violence of our reunion, when he held me up against the wall--I still want him, and I could see the heat in his eyes, too, and I hate it.

I hate it because now all I picture is him, with his new family. I cover my mouth to hold in a whimper as a fresh onslaught of tears emerges; that was supposed to be us.

No. You have to get up, I tell myself.

I'm not going to wallow in self-pity. I muster up the energy and push past the strong desire to just lay in bed and sit up to take the medicine with the water.

After a cold shower and changed into clean clothes, I'm feeling somewhat refreshed, with a renowned determined attitude. The headache is still there, but it's bearable. I tie off my now braided hair and make my way out of the room.

Miles's voice reaches me as I walk down the hallway. "No, way, brah. You can't take shortcuts in this game, trust me."

"Sure, you can. You just need to know what you're doing; watch and learn, my young padawan."

"What?! How did you do that?"

"I would show you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Silence.

"Dude, I'm messing with you," I hear Enzo chuckling.

"Right..." Miles laughs uneasily. "I knew that."

"Sure, you did, Miles." Lucy teases.

I walk into the large living room, where the kids are watching or playing a game on the Xbox with Enzo, and I see Cristian on the terrace, talking on the phone. I sit on one of the chairs and watch the game, but they stop playing when they notice me.

"Do you guys mind if I talk to Stella alone?" Enzo asks. The kids all nod and get up, leaving the room, squeezing my hand or shoulders as they walk past me.

"Please tell me you were the one who brought me the water and medicine?" I hold Lucy back, remembering how indisposed I was in my messy clothes; she nods, smiling sadly at me before she follows Miles and Kai out to the terrace.

Cristian walks back in, and Miles's fist bumps him as he passes him. I smile at the way Cristian looks, fist-bumping someone. Once the kids are out of the room, Enzo and Cristian both turn on me.

"What the hell were you thinking, Piccola?" Cristian demands.

Somehow, being confronted by not only Enzo's angry face but Cristian's, too, was not what I was expecting; especially, after what happened yesterday.

I face them both, crossing my arms. My dull headache feels like it is now behind my eyes as they begin to pulsate. "JP will get over it. I didn't even hit him that hard." Annoyed they're angry at me of all things.

Enzo shakes his head, then tugs at his hair and groans.

"We're not talking about John Paul, dolzecca. He got what was coming to him. You left--ran is the more accurate term, and you don't even realize the danger you put yourself in, with Gio still out there, not to mention Jimmy's still on the loose." Cristian sighs.

"I can handle it."

Enzo snorts. "Right, like you had a handle on Alfonso?" His angry eyes stare back at me.

"That was different. I admit, I let my guard down, but that won't happen again." I try to convince them.

"I was clear that someone would be with you at all times, was I not?" Cristian stands.

"No--I mean, yes, you were clear," I correct myself when he whirls around his dark, angry eyes, boring into mine. I shake my head. "What I meant was no, I won't do that. Timo tried to do the same and look how well that worked?"

Enzo sits on the coffee table across from me. He holds my hands in his. "It will be different this time." I look back at him, my eyebrow rising, questioning why he's so sure.

"Because this time, I'll be with you," He smiles.

The corner of my mouth lifts, and I shake my head laughing. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Enzo."

"I told you I would protect you until my dying breath, and that's what I plan on doing." He kisses my hand, squeezing it.

"No one's dying, at least not if I can help it." Cristian sits down and then leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Now, despite all the excitement of yesterday, you need to go back to the Villa."

I stand, "Not happening. I know you both heard me tell my boss I quit. I have no reason to go back there." I make my way to the kitchen to make something to eat. I don't even know what food the fridge holds, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see it fully stocked, and I begin making a sandwich.

"You do. And before you jump to conclusions, this isn't about John Paul. Well, not entirely. You need to be made aware of other things that impact you; Adonis wants to meet with you, and he gave his word that John Paul would not interfere. He would make sure he's not even in the house if that's what you'd prefer. But you need to go there." Cristian explains.

I think of Isabella, and the anger within me begins to subside. They're right; I can't just abandon her, not after I thought she was dead this whole time.

I finish assembling the sandwich, asking if they'd like one, too. They both shrug, which tells me they do, and begin making them each one.

"Why can't Adonis come here?" I still question.

From the corner of my I, I see them glance at each other. "It's better if you see for yourself," Enzo tells me, not meeting my eyes as I pass them each a sandwich.

There's a commotion coming from the penthouse entrance that captures our attention, and one of the guards has his gun drawn as he backs into the room.

He looks at Cristian when he questions what is going on. The guard tells him someone is adamant about needing to see me. We can hear shouting, and then my name is being yelled out repeatedly.

I sigh internally, recognizing the voice, wondering how he knew where I would be and how this is going to go.

I tell the guard to let them in; he looks at me before looking at Cristian, who nods at him. Enzo draws his gun; I tell him it's unnecessary; however, he still keeps it out, down at his side.

A few men bring in an angry, tousled, and tired-looking Sean.

"What's the meaning of this? Why are you trying to break into my home?" Cristian questions Sean irritably.

"He's not, Cristian." I step in and ask the men to let him go, but they keep a firm hold on him. "Now," I say more firmly. Finally, they release him, and Sean rushes towards me, but Enzo holds him back by aiming his gun at him.

"Who are you?" Enzo interrogates him.

"Parmesean!" Lucy yells out happily when she and the twins walk in from the terrace. Enzo lowers his gun as Lucy runs to hug Sean; he hugs her back but keeps his eyes on me.

"Howzit, brah?" Kai smiles and clasps his hand with Sean, and they man-hug, and Miles does the same.

"His name is Parmesean?" Cristian questions with an eyebrow raised, and I burst out laughing as Sean sighs, irritated, and momentarily I forget my inner turmoil.

"No, it's not," Sean answers. "Stella thinks it's funny to give me nicknames using my name, and these guys have joined in on the fun. My name is Sean Malone."

"No fucking way!" Enzo exclaims, laughing. "Skidmark Sean? " He doubles over in his laughter.

"Brah, that's probably the worse one yet," Miles says, chuckling, and Sean clenches his jaw as Enzo is wheezing now.

"You're Sunny...Declan Malone's son." Cristian walks closer to Sean. Sean nods, and then he looks over at Enzo, and I can see he puts the puzzle pieces together.

"Cristian Romano, right? I don't know if I should thank you or not. If it weren't for you, Stella and I would have never have found each other." Sean looks at Cristian and then glowers at Enzo, who's still having a hard time containing his laughter. "Which means this asshole must be Enzo Romano."

"That's me," Enzo says, still chuckling. "What the hell are you doing here, Malone?"

"I was worried about Stella." He looks over at me; his face shows signs of lack of sleep and strain.

"Why? And how did you know where I was?" I question, walking closer to him, and he pulls me into a hug and holds me for a moment.

"You fucking scared the hell out of me, Stels." He sighs and squeezes me harder. "You called me last night, don't you remember?"

Um...

"I did?" He pulls out his phone and plays a voicemail on speaker, and I sound completely wasted.

"Hello? Helllloooo? Sean? Is this Sean? Hey Sean....it's me, Char, no Charmaine, wait, that's not it. Hang on; I'm telling him I don't need your help!"

Who the hell am I talking to? Embarrassment floods through me as I sit on the couch.

"It's me, Stels, you know, Steeellllaaa!" I yell, followed by a loud burp, then I laugh to the point I snort in the message.

"Guess what, Sean? Life...life fucking sucks sometimes, you know? One day you're just moving along, and things start to feel okay again, and then WHAM! Out of nowhere, life says, sike! Gotcha sucker!"

We hear the sound of me gulping a drink before I exhale. "Yup, that's what happens. And guess what else?" I sigh loudly into the phone, "You're taking too long, so I'll tell you. Are you ready?" Then I whisper, " Sometimes people come back alive after they die. You did remember?" I laugh again into the phone.

I quickly glance around the room, and everyone is watching me, apprehension and worry in their eyes. I start talking into the phone again, "I must have magical powers because more people are alive, now, too. Mom, Santino, and even he's back, too." My breath hitches, and I start crying into the phone.

"He's...He's back. He...he's been alive this whole time and...he has a family, now." I sob; the sound of my broken cries is too much, and I cover my ears.

"I wish you were here, Sean." I hear myself whisper into the phone. Then I sniffle and whimper into the phone. "I just want to go to sleep, but these nightmares...they keep getting worse and worse...I just want it to stop hurting. Why won't it stop?" The phone cuts out, and the room is silent.

"I tried calling you back, but either your phone died, or you turned it off; I drove all night still trying to get a hold of you--hoping you were okay. God, I thought you had--and then I finally got a hold of Jessie, who had her phone off too, so I thought the worse, but she told me what happened--well, what she could, she seemed confused, but I knew enough to put it together." Sean says quietly.

He sits down next to me, and he turns me towards him to hug me while I fight to stay in control. Lucy sits on my other side and rubs my back.

"JP's alive?" I hear her ask quietly.

"Yes, it was a shock to all of us," Cristian says. "But there's more to it than we thought, and that is why Stella needs to go back to the Villa. Adonis explained some things to us, but he wanted to wait to talk to you." Cristian says as he looks at me.

"Fine. I'll go, but the kids are coming with me. I promised I would take them out today, and I wasted the day sleeping off my hangover. Let Adonis know I don't care if John Paul is there or not, but he better steer clear of me, or he'll end up on his ass, again."

"I punched him," I answer the questioning looks from Sean and the kids. Miles and Kai laughed, high-fiving each other.

"Of course you did, moms." Miles laughs.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sean asks me, holding my hand in his, providing comfort.

"No, I'll be fine. But do you have to leave?" I stand as he continues to hold my hand in his.

"Yes," He sighs heavily, "but I'll stay if you want me to." He cups my face with his other hand, and then his thumb grazes my split lip from JP's slap. His eyebrows furrow, but I lean up to kiss him before he asks what happened.

"This is just too fucking weird," Enzo says as I pull away from Sean. "I mean, you do remember what an asshat he was to you when we were kids, right?" Enzo questions me with his arms crossed.

"I was stupid and immature not to mention a fucking kid," Sean responds, holding me close to him, "I thought it was the only way to get her attention, with you acting as her bodyguard all the damn time."

Enzo smiles at me, "I had to keep asswipes like you away from here; you were the worst one, too."

"Trust me; I remind him any chance I get." I laugh as I pinch Sean's face before we walk to the door of the penthouse. Sean chuckles and grabs my hand kissing it before interlacing his hand with mine.

The bodyguards still eye Sean suspiciously as we approach, but I tell them to give us a few minutes alone. I turn to Sean and hug him tightly. "I'm so sorry for worrying you, Sean. Please forgive me." I feel his warm breath fan over my skin as he buries his head in my neck while we hug.

"That was probably the most helpless I felt other than when Jessie was recovering from her attack. Please don't do something like that again."

I pull away and cup his face. "I won't." He presses his lips into mine. They move over mine slowly, but the kiss heats up rather quickly. Then I get a flash of the intense dark brown eyes that I thought I would never see again and pull away abruptly.

"Are you okay?" Sean asks me. I can't look at him as JP's face is still fresh on my mind, but I nod.

"Yeah, it's just the hangover. I'm sorry."

He lifts my chin, and I see the stress in his ocean eyes from the long night I caused, and the guilt eats at me. "I don't want to leave you, Stels, but I bailed on a meeting I had to be at today, and I'm sure my father's not going to let me hear the end of it. We're going to be here at the end of the week for business. I'll call you later, though, and we'll talk, okay?"

I nod, and then he kisses me quickly again before I watch him get in the elevator. He turns and smiles at me before the doors close, and I smile back at him. He's too good to me.

I head back into the penthouse, and everyone is eating sandwiches; Lucy hands me one to eat as well.

"So when were you going to tell me?" Enzo jumps straight into his interrogation with me.

"I wasn't hiding it. I just wanted to wait for the right moment." I say through a mouthful of the sandwich.

"You know JP's going to lose his shit when he finds out, right?"

"Why? He's moved on--we both have." I point out, even though the words taste bitter in my mouth.

After we finish with lunch, we head to the garage of the condominium. Several SUVs, and other luxurious vehicles, and a couple of bikes fill the lot.

"Brah, this bike is sick!" Miles walks over, admiring the street bike parked next to a large SUV.

"She's a smooth ride," Enzo says proudly.

"She's yours?" Miles questions excitedly.

Enzo nods, pulling out his keys. "You ride?"

"Yeah, moms taught me. "

Enzo tosses his keys to Miles. "Go ahead." Miles looks back at me, and I nod, not wanting to be the reason the grin on his face disappears.

"Can I ride with him, too?" Lucy asks me enthusiastically. I almost say no, but then I just remind Miles to be careful.

Enzo finds a second helmet for Lucy and helps her put it on. She smiles shyly at him, thanking him.

I chuckle, This girl and her crushes.

"You need to call your friends," Enzo informs me as we settle into the SUV. "They went bat shit crazy on your boss after everyone realized you were gone. And don't get me started on John Paul.

He was getting ready to send his entire fleet of men out to look for you, but then they found what you did to the guard, and JP called off the search. Felt like old times, actually..." He jokes but notices my irritation at the mention of his name, "you should have seen Annalisa rip into him." He laughs. "She's got the mama bear coming out of her already."

I smile, picturing her going off on him. I pull out my phone and turn it on, and sure enough, as soon as it comes on, my notifications go off immediately. There are fifty missed calls, most of them from Sean and thirty unread text messages.

"Here," He hands me his phone. "Isabella was not okay after you left, either. She had a panic attack, and JP's nurse had to sedate her." He tells me solemnly.

Guilt washes over me thinking of her; the shame that I didn't even realize what my leaving would do to her is overwhelming. I hit the contact and wait as the phone rings.

"Pronto" The voice is thick and husky.

"It's me. Stella."

She cries into the phone, and I wait until she settles down, and I apologize for my leaving the way I did.

"Don't leave me, Stellina mia. No again." She wails as she pleads with me. My chest tightens as my eyes well up. "Come back, per favore."

"I am. I'm on my way, right now." I sniffle.

She says she'll be waiting and hangs up. I hand Enzo his phone back, laying my head on his shoulder while I prepare myself mentally for going back with the high potential of facing JP again. But I also don't want to have to deal with the questions I'm sure the girls will have when they see me.

~~~~~~~~~

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Xoxo,

LJRae ♡