JOHN PAUL

I'm past frustrated and angry. I'm fucking livid.

After hearing that asshole, Sean, tear into Stella outside on the terrace earlier this morning, it took everything in me to not jump down from the balcony off of my room and rip his fucking head off.

I didn't mean to overhear their heated lover's quarrel. I had gone out to the balcony to clear my already fucked up head when I heard them arguing.

I suppose I could have gone back into my room, but curiosity got the best of me.

It almost sounded like he was going to ask for space or possibly end things and fuck if it didn't get my hopes up. But it was short-lived as he retracted his harsh words and asked Stella for forgiveness almost as soon as the words left his mouth.

The painful memories of when I did the same and pushed her away, shattering her, while ripping my own heart overwhelmed me, but more than feeling the torment of what I had done, I felt the anger that Sean wasn't able to walk away from her as I had.

And now here I am, feeling fucking powerless as I watch her dance.

Mesmerized like everyone else in the damn crowded club as Stella danced in a white lingerie outfit to a song basically telling me or anyone of the fucking assholes in here to turn her "inside out."

My damn pants were becoming painfully restrictive, watching her writhe and grind in waves on the floor or against the damn pole, remembering all too vividly how she would move similarly under me or at the touch of my hands.

If it weren't for Charlotte's repulsive grating voice deflating everything inside of me, as she kept trying to get me to reconsider my disbanding our partnership, I would have had to excuse myself.

But what I couldn't wrap around my head was why the hell was Stella so focused on Enzo of all people and the other idiot Mateo during that song?

So I took matters into my own hands, knowing she would spend part of the night walking around, mingling with the crowd, and I told Rio I would pay for an hour to have her dance for me. He didn't seem surprised by my request and informed me he'd make sure we weren't disturbed.

I nearly jumped on the stage when she began twerking her ass in front of the rest of the crowd and me after she smirked then winked at me, dancing to a remake of the same song she sang karaoke to at Lucky's all those years ago.

A deep growl made its way out of my throat, watching her crawl towards Rocco.

I was somewhat relieved when Letty took the lead, and Stella danced in the background with the other girls.

However, the next number Stella danced to wasn't any better; in fact, it was fucking worse.

This song was soliciting her want and desire of a gangster to love her, to "ride or die with her."

As I looked around the room, I knew more than half of the room was desperate for a chance to prove they're worthy of her.

And now she's here in the private room, looking absolutely fucking tempting. The outfit she's wearing takes me back to the first time we made love. The corset and stockings are almost identical, and the memories of how she looked and felt as I entered her for the first time flash through my mind.

I watch from within the darkroom as she started to walk in and then hesitated, appearing unsure when the large bouncer tells her he would be waiting outside instead of inside the room.

Stella shakes out her arms and begins walking towards me again; I smile when she sees it's me. She looks back at me, and her mouth opens, but no words come out.

"Are you nervous, princess?"

She still says nothing.

Music begins to play through the speakers of the room. Stella straightens her back and squares her shoulders; she's going into character.

"Even though you're the boss, I'm sure the rules were explained to you, but just so we are clear, no touching." She says very business-like.

She turns her back to me and starts swaying her hips side to side slowly with the beat of the song and then bends down, keeping her gorgeous ass in the air while still moving it in front of me.

She snaps back up and seductively dances as she caresses her body and slides her hands up, lifting her hair. Finally, she turns to face me and lets her hair drop, and I'm dying to run my fingers through it, to pull it. She saunters towards me and then around me.

She places her hand on my shoulder and then slides it across my back to my other shoulder.

"I thought touching wasn't allowed?" I ask, curious, but fucking love feeling her hand on me.

Stella faces me as she rakes her nails down my chest, and I struggle to suppress the shiver I feel run through me.

She smirks, "For you, but not for me."

"Well, that doesn't seem fair, does it?"

She shrugs slightly and moves down slowly in front of me, and my heart begins to race as she keeps her eyes on mine. The way she looks up at me reminds me of the first time she sucked my dick, and it twitches involuntarily at the memory.

"Hmm, I'm surprised to see you hear privately. I mean, Charlotte doesn't strike me as someone who likes to share--I can't blame her, though. I don't either."

She grips my thighs and pushes my legs apart, and I fight to maintain control as I swallow, trying to focus on the words she's saying. "Who?"

"Charlotte, your friend," Stella states and turns around and places her ass right on me. There's no denying she feels my hard-on, especially when I hear her gasp softly, and that fucking drives me crazier.

"She's not my friend, Stella." I fight to sound in control and also keeping my hands away from her.

"Sex friend? Fuck buddy?"

I fight the urge to run my hand up her leg, followed by my mouth with the desire to taste, lick and bite her when she rests it over my shoulder.

"No one, Stella. I mean, she is a colleague, but I'm working on getting her out of all the businesses she partnered up with us on."

"Hmm, could have fooled me. She said you moaned out Char when you slept with her." She whips her head around as she dances on me.

I grind my teeth, hating myself for sleeping with that wench when I wasn't myself.

"I hardly fucking remember it, Stella, and you know I wasn't myself."

"It doesn't matter. It's none of my business," She states.

"It is your business, Stella. I belong to you."

She exhales as she stands and straddles me but doesn't sit; instead, she hovers over me and moves over me sensually to the music.

She grips my shoulders and moves temptingly as her breasts graze my face when she leans over me, and I resist the urge to bury my face in them, to taste them.

She rolls her body over mine and then sits on me slowly and begins to act out what I've only dreamed about doing the past years without her until now as she grinds herself on me. I clench my jaw as I become harder against her, being so close to her, yet not as close as I want to be.

I focus on not losing control, "What about Sean? He doesn't care that you dry hump strangers?"

"Of course he cares; what sane guy wouldn't? But he knows this is just a job. I've never been one to give extras," Stella explains, but I notice her breathing has changed as she continues to ride against my erection.

She leans back with her hands are on my knees as she grinds harder against me.

"You've never made another man come?" I ask, feeling breathless, and I swear I hear her moan softly.

"Not by touching," She rasps, and her eyes are hooded as she looks back at me. "It took me a while to get used to doing lap dances; I couldn't do it at first, unless..."

"Unless...?"

"I imagined it was you. It was the only way I could get close to any of those men."

I'm torn between feeling happy she thought of me this whole time, but then angry imagining herself moving on others the way she is with me.

She moves her head back and leans away further as she continues her slow movements on me, but I think she loses her focus as she almost falls off of me. I quickly hold on to her hips to keep her in place.

She's breathing heavily, and I let go of her as much as I don't want to-- remembering her no-touch rule. She looks back at me, and we stare at each other for a moment, both silent, but I can't resist asking. "Can I touch you?"

I know we both remember the first time I asked her that, in my room, at Timo's house.

"Where?" Her voice is quiet as her movements have stopped completely.

I take a deep breath as I observe her, "Your face."

She looks at me and gives me a soft "yes."

I lift one of my hands and push back her beautiful silky hair and trace her face lightly, running my fingertips down the faint scar over her eye, then caress her soft cheek, and it makes me ridiculously happy when she leans into my hand.

"You are so beautiful," I tell her as my gaze moves down to her luscious pillowy lips.

I trace her bottom lip with my thumb and pull it down gently, and I hear the quiet shudder come through her tempting lips.

"When I close my eyes, all I see is you, and when I open my eyes, I still see you. You're all I think about, Stella."

She surprises me when she kisses my thumb softy, and then she lifts her hands from my shoulders and starts tracing my face, too. First, her fingers move over the scars on my temple and forehead, and then she runs her fingertips through my beard lightly, and then she also traces my lips.

"I've loved you for as long as I can remember, amore mio," I look into her beautiful eyes.

I pull her in close to me to hold her and inhale her unique and alluring scent deeply.

She sighs into me as she holds me just as tight. Comfort comes over me; having her strong yet soft body against mine is calming, giving me the sense of being home after so much time away and apart from her.

But the longer I hold her; there's another part that is awakening, burning within me that feels just as overwhelming and powerful; I know I shouldn't, but it's almost as if my body moves on its own when I'm around her. I push her long curly hair back over her shoulders, and I can't fight the need to taste her skin.

She gasps quietly when my lips touch the skin of her shoulder, and she arches her back. I would love nothing more than to take her right here and now. But I take my time, savoring the sweet taste, with a hint of saltiness from her dancing tonight, but I don't mind it; it only makes me crave her more.

I move slowly from her shoulder to her neck, and I can not only hear her quick breathing, but I can feel her pulse racing against her skin as I move my lips over her throat.

When I hear her moan, it only makes me want to make her do it again, and I slide my tongue across her collar bone to her other side.

She leans further away, and I move down her chest, kissing the top of her full breasts. She moans my name, and I move back up, but the sudden movement makes her jerk, and it's like she snaps out of the moment we were in together.

She stands up quickly, pushing me away. Her legs are trembling, and I want to pull her back to me to comfort her.

Stella's eyes are wide as she looks back at me, "I'm sorry. I got lost in the dance and then the moment and what you were saying and...I'm sorry." Her eyes are filling with tears.

"I didn't mean to... I'm with Sean..." She turns away, sniffling quietly. "He doesn't deserve this." She continues to cry.

My annoyance and frustration at her sudden abruptness lead to jealousy at mentioning his name, but seeing how upset she is--all of that dissolves quickly. I stand and turn her around and hold her.

"Don't be sorry; I was the one who couldn't control myself, Stella. You didn't do anything," I tell her quietly as she sobs onto my chest.

"I didn't stop it. I didn't stop you, JP, because I liked it...and I wanted it," She whispers.

I scold myself at the smile that spreads across my face. I already know I'm going to hell, but now more than ever.

I lead her back to the chair and pull her on my lap sideways. "Don't worry; I'm not going to do anything," I assure her when I see the wary look on her face.

"Unless you want me to of course," I smile. Stella hits my chest as I chuckle and pull her in close to me and hold her, inhaling deeply.

"Why does life always have to be so complicated, JP?"

"It's not really. Well, not always. But we tend to make a big deal about things or overthink things more than we should. And when I say we, I mean you."

She laughs against my chest, and I bask in the beautiful sound as it fills the room.

I sigh, "You've always been like that, though. It's one of the things that I've always loved about you but also drives me fucking crazy." I chuckle.

"I know," She says quietly. "I can't change how I am. I mean, some things I have changed, but others are so ingrained, you know?"

I nod, knowing what she means. "I wouldn't want you to change. You're perfect."

She snorts.

"Except when you do that," I tease, which makes her laugh again.

"I'm kidding, I know no one's perfect, but you're pretty damn close, amore."

"I wish we can stay like this," Stella whispers against my neck, and I feel her move closer to me as she inhales deeply, "male conseguenze delle nostre scelte anno aspettando fuori." (but the consequences of our choices are waiting for us outside)

I don't know how long we sit there, as I rock her gently, rubbing her back but then I feel her nodding off on me.

"Wake up, amore mio," I say softly. Stella stirs and holds me tighter, muttering my name.

"Stella, wake up, princess." I kiss her head, but she continues sleeping.

I stand and move to the couch in the room to sit with her for a while longer. I don't know how much time on the hour I prepaid for is left, but I want to soak up as much time as I can with her as I watch her sleep.

But then I curse when I feel my phone vibrating and lay her down gently on the couch. I shrug off my jacket and cover her and step out to take the call.

The big guard looks at me and then looks over at the couch. He sees her lying down, and he immediately goes into protective mode and starts to walk in, but I grip him by the throat.

"Don't even fucking think about it; she's fine, just sleeping," I tell him, keeping my voice quiet so she doesn't wake up.  "Stay here, and keep an eye on her." He nods slightly, and I release his throat.

My phone rings again, and I look back at her before I shut the door. I answer the call, feeling a combination of being well-rested and at ease.

A smile comes to my face knowing the reason is because of the raven-haired sleeping beauty I was just with, and I hope I can return and be the one to wake her up.

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