A/N: So here it is, the epilogue. I started writing this when I was at chapter 20, I think, so I have been thinking of ways to finish it for a while. I really hope you enjoy this as it is from Max’s point of view. It should be interesting. Thanks to all of you who are such awesome readers, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all of you reading and voting and all of that. You guys rock!!! So, with the fact that I love you kept in mind, please don’t kill me.

Enjoy

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      - Max Harris’ POV -

I hated dressing up in black. I couldn’t stand the reason why.

Hayley helped me with my tie, wearing a simple, black dress herself. Hazel was wearing something of the same and Dustin was dressed just like me.

Mum had gone down there early to help her Dad with all the guests, help him stay together.

The four of us silently made our way down to the cemetery.

I had never been to a funeral before, but knowing I had to speak in front of so many people about her, I needed Mum to help me hold everything together.

What made me feel worse was that I was bringing a girl to her funeral. I wasn’t going to, I knew I shouldn’t have, but I needed her there to help me stay in one piece while I talked.

Just her confident, believing, warm gaze on me would help me get through the morning.

Dustin pulled into the cemetery and parked at the edge of the lot, his hands trembling slightly on the steering wheel.

“Ready?” He asked, opening his door.

Hazel squeezed my hand for support and I gave her an appreciative look, even though I couldn’t muster up the smile I wanted to show her.

I wasn’t the only one that would struggle to get through the morning.  

We walked slowly over to where the crowd was gathering, my arm around Hazel as we went.

Hazel came to a stop, causing me to do the same, at the side of the crowd that was gathering around her coffin.

I choked back the tears and Hazel looked like she was doing the same. After all, Hazel was close with her.

My watch said it was two minutes until it started and I could feel the weight of the speech in the pocket of my jacket.

“Hi,” someone greeted me from behind.

I turned and saw her.

She was respectfully wearing a black, long-sleeved dress that flowed to her mid-thigh with tights underneath. Her black heels made her taller than she usually was, making her closer to my height than I was used to.

The only bit of colour she was wearing hung around her neck.

“Hey,” I said, wrapping my arms around her.

I already felt less nervous as she rested her head on my shoulder. The warmth that radiated from her was comforting and I felt better about speaking in front of so many people.

“You’ll be okay, but I’ll be right here if you’re not,” she told me, attempting to smile. It didn’t work.

After all, she had known her as well.

That’s when everything started. The first few speeches went by in a blur as everyone gathered around the coffin, covered with her favourite flowers.

I really wasn’t sure I could handle this.

When it was my turn to read my speech – the last speech, I might add – I was shaking. Hazel gave me a reassuring squeeze of my hand before I left and walked to the front.

I stood behind the podium and took out my speech, the only sound being the crumpling of paper and the sniffles from the surrounding mourners.

I took a shaky breath then began. “Hi everyone. I’m Max Harris,” I looked around, feeling the warm sun on my back only to be masked by the cool wind.

I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine, I repeated to myself, but I knew that when someone said they were fine, they were, in fact, not.

I had learnt that from Rylie.

I knew Rylie would want me to get through this, regardless of whether I was a blubbering mess by the end or not.

I took another shaky breath and continued. “Her father asked me to read this to you all. He told me he wouldn’t be able to get through all of this and he thinks I can. So I will give it my best shot.” I searched the crowd for her father and located the pair of familiar brown eyes which were silently thanking me.

I looked down to the paper that I hadn’t written, so I had to read it all. “I can’t believe she is gone. She had such a bright future ahead of her. She didn’t deserve to only get seventeen years, she should have got seventy at least.” A tear fell down my cheek and I looked up, searching for the only one that could keep me strong, which made me feel terrible all at the same time. She was standing beside Hazel, one of her arms slung over my sister’s shoulders comfortingly.

Her blue eyes told me that I could do this. So I continued. “But let’s focus on the reasons why she should have had longer,” I paused, trying to be confident so that my voice wouldn’t come out as a stutter, as it always did when I was nervous. “She was generous. She was always putting herself in front of everyone else. Even when she was struggling with her own demons, she helped everyone else face theirs. She was funny, but not in the insulting way a lot of people are these days. She was talented. Everything she tried, she could do with outstanding skill. If she picked up a pencil, she would draw something incredible. If she put her hands to an instrument, she would play it with fluidity. She could do anything she put her mind to. And last but not least, she was kind, but not the sort that people get confused with nice. She had a kind heart, one that failed her in the end.” I paused, knowing some time was needed to let that sink in.  “But today, we celebrate her existence that every single one of us was privileged to be a part of.” I was unaware of the tears streaming down my face until I roughly brushed them off. “Thank you,” I muttered.

Everyone applauded kindly as I folded the speech her father had given to me and put it back in my pocket.

I walked back to where my family was standing and watched with sadness as her coffin was lowered into the grave.

This was the last time I would ever see her. Well, I at least imagined I could see her through the closed coffin. I remembered the brief time I had known her and tried to remember her as I knew her to be.

Kind. Generous. Funny. Lovely.

I ran a hand through my hair and waited until someone tugged me by the hand to her car.

I was confused until I realised I wasn’t going home with my siblings. I was going home with a different part of my family. The newest part.

She drove home holding my hand and when we drove into the familiar driveway, I almost smiled.

It was good to be home.

We got out of the car and I unlocked the door, still holding onto her hand.

“Are you okay?” She asked, her long, dark brown hair falling in waves over her shoulder.

I shook my head, no, the memories of the hospital flashing back into my mind.

She pulled me into a hug, her arms wrapping around my middle. “I know you weren’t that close with her,” she said into my shoulder. “But it’d still hurt.”

“It just,” I started, then had to wipe my eyes again. “It just reminded me of when you were in the coma in hospital. Everyone was talking about funerals and whether you would want to be cremated or buried,” I couldn’t stop the tears now. They ran freely down my cheeks and dripped off my chin. “I didn’t know if you were going to come back to me.”

Rylie pulled back slightly and ran a hand through my hair, her blue eyes shining as bright as her turquoise pendant. “But I did,” she told me. “I came back.”

“Thank God,” I murmured, and then kissed her forehead.

Four years ago, Rylie blacked out into a coma. The sleep headaches that she said weren’t a big thing, well, they were. That’s what essentially put her into the coma.

That was the hardest three months of my life.

I would spend every minute I could by her side at the hospital, never knowing if she was going to wake up or not.

I obviously had to go to school, but I couldn’t focus and was always distracted. If someone asked me what happened at school during those few months, I honestly wouldn’t be able to recall a single thing.

Near the end of the third month, about a week before she woke up, everyone was talking about funerals and coffins and all of those things. Things we didn’t even want to consider, but had to.

Then she woke up.

The day Rylie woke up was the best day of my life.

I snapped out of my reverie as Rylie pulled back from our embrace, frowning at me in concern. “How is your uncle doing?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t really know him that well but I doubt he’s doing well. After all, he just lost his daughter.”

My Mum’s brother and family had lived in Canada until a few years ago, which is when I first met them. I suppose if I had known my cousin better, today would have been harder to get through.

“Yeah,” Rylie nodded in agreement, but there was something she was thinking. It was all in those gorgeous blue eyes of hers. “I’ve heard losing a child is a million times worse than losing anyone else,” she continued, avoiding any eye contact what so ever.

“Rylie,” I said, gently lifting her chin so that I could look into her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“What? No, nothing,” she tried to brush off, but I knew she was just saying that because she didn’t want to worry me.

When would she learn?

I knew her better than she knew herself. I could usually tell what she was thinking just by her facial expressions, but mostly her eyes.

She knew this, which is why she looked down at her shoes.

“Rylie,” I said softly, trying to read her fact. All I could tell was that there was something that she wasn’t telling me, and it was a pretty big thing as well.

“No, I don’t want to tell you today,” she told me, her eyes glued to her feet as if they were the most interesting thing she had ever seen.

I couldn’t stand not knowing. There was something wrong and I hated not being able to help her. Knowing Rylie was happy and safe and okay was the only thing that let me sleep at night, and I knew I wouldn’t sleep if she didn’t tell me.

“Maybe I could just get you drunk and you would tell me everything,” I said cheekily with a smirk, but I was actually kind of serious.

I could easily get her drunk and we would talk and probably do other stuff as well, which was just as appealing. But right now, all I wanted to do was know what was in that brilliant, mysterious head of hers.

“Yeah, you won’t be getting me drunk for a while,” she told me, taking a small step away from me and wrapping her arms around her middle gingerly. Rylie had finally looked away from the ground and was looking into my eyes. I was surprised to find her eyes gleaming with happiness, excitement, and worry.

“Why not?” I asked, frowning.

Either I was really thick or she was being confusing, as always.

I was really hoping it was the latter. I hated always being the one confused.

A smile began to consume her face and I was overwhelmed by the love I felt for her. That smile was what hooked me in the first place. Her smile is what had me fall.

“I won’t be drinking for the next nine months, Max.”

Oh. My. God. “You’re pregnant?” A wide smile unconsciously made its way to my face and when she nodded, I wrapped my arms around her waist and swung her around.

“You’re not mad?” She asked when I set her back on her feet, biting her lip which she knew drove me crazy.

“Why on Earth would I be mad? I-” I smiled. “I can’t even put into words how happy I am.”

“But now I won’t fit into my dress,” she groaned, putting a hand on her forehead signalling that she was stressing.

I laughed, the happiest I had been in years. “Babe, I’d rather take you out of that dress,” I winked but wasn’t joking at all. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her in close, touching my forehead to hers.

“No,” she rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the unbelievably sexy smile that consumed her face. “I mean my wedding dress!”

This time it was my turn to roll my eyes. “We’ll figure it out, I promise,” I told her, brushing my lips softly over hers to seal it.

“Okay, how about you take me out of this dress now?” She asked me, her voice lowering seductively, teasing.

We didn’t even make it to our bedroom.

.

“You are so beautiful,” I trailed, my voice husky as I ran a hand along Rylie’s spine.

Even after all these years we had been together, I never got tired of being near her. She was the highlight of my day, especially when we did that.

She bit her lip and her cheeks flushed. I loved knowing I could do that to her.

Suddenly, there was a knock sounding at the front door. “Shit,” Rylie muttered, rolling off the couch and immediately getting her clothes off the floor, putting her bra and singlet on first.

“What?” I asked, not being able to take my eyes off her beauty.

Far out, she was fucking gorgeous.

And she was mine.

I still found it hard to wrap my head around.

“You know how I briefly mentioned that we were having a few of our friends over for an early dinner?” She asked me, wriggling into her jeans.

“Oh God, no,” I groaned, getting off the couch and following her lead, throwing my clothes back on and trying to make my hair look a lot less ruffled.

“Yeah,” Rylie nodded, doing her zip up and running a hand through her hair. “Well, that’s now.”

“We’re just ordering pizza, yeah?” I asked and Rylie laughed, almost condescendingly.

“I already made dinner, I just need to put it in the oven,” she explained before looking back up to me with those wicked blue eyes.

“Can’t we just tell them to come back later?” I lowered my voice, hooking my finger through one of her belt loops in her jeans. “I’m sure they’d understand.”

“Later, I promise.” I knew she wanted exactly the same thing, but we had to be civil sometimes. She kissed my cheek before running to answer the door.

I shook my head in amusement. She was cute when she was all stressed and worried about what other people would think.

Unfortunately for us, only a few people from school could make it.

Both the twins, Leah, Seth, Tessa and Olly.

We couldn’t get into contact with August or Chase, though. The last we heard they were both travelling around the world.

We had kind of lost contact.

“Hey guys,” I smiled at seeing Leah and Nate at our front door.

It had truly been too long.

“Max!” Leah squealed, pushing past Rylie to give me a hug.

I let out a small chuckle, hugging her back. “Hey Leah.”

In high school, Leah was one of the closest friends I had. She was much like a sister to me and I hadn’t seen her in too long.

“Stop molesting him, Leah,” Nate chuckled, closing the door behind him and Rylie while I detached myself from Leah and led them to the kitchen.

“Don’t worry, he has Rylie for that!” Leah exclaimed, my cheeks feeling the urge to warm at her comment.

Sure, we were twenty one and all topics related to this were fairly common, but I still got kind of embarrassed when it was about me and Rylie.

Well no, not embarrassed. I would actually scream it to the world if I could.

More like, uncomfortable. I didn’t want other people knowing what Rylie and I got up to in our bedroom. Or on the couch, as we just had done.

I took a quick glance at Ry who looked much like I felt.

“Really?” Nate asked, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

Leah just rolled her eyes. “Why do you think it took them so long to answer the door?” She asked, incredulous.

Far out. That chick knew everything.

“Okay enough about our sex life,” Rylie held up her hands, the universal sign of surrender.

I could help but smile at her. It was adorable when she blushed. It made it better that she hated blushing.

There was yet another knock on the door and I opened it, this time to see Olly and Isaac walk straight in, clearly in the middle of an argument.

“Hi Max,” Isaac smiled forcefully. I really couldn’t help but smile. Their fights were always so funny to watch.

I led them to the kitchen, exchanging a few pleasantries while Olly scowled through his glasses.

“Oh dear, what happened?” Rylie asked immediately, not bothering with greetings.

“Hey brother,” Nate greeted Isaac, hugging him before everyone took a seat at the dining room table, not having anywhere else to sit.

Olly immediately whipped out his pen and notepad and started scribbling at the speed of light, while Isaac waited patiently for him to finish.

I had to admit, I kind of thought Isaac would take Olly’s speech impediment to his advantage and explain everything, but he wouldn’t say a word as he waited for Olly to write.

That was love, I guess.

Being in the middle of an argument but still giving the other person a fair go to win.

Nate read it first, and then read it out loud on Olly’s behalf. It was much quicker than circling the paper for us all to read. “Isaac wants us to have a huge wedding but I don’t want to and he can’t see why I don’t want to.”

Ah yes, this argument again.

Last time they were having this argument was when they came over here last time and were making the guest list. That’s when it all started, but Rylie suggested something in between, not too big and not too small.

They thought was a good idea, and it was. As were all of her ideas.

But apparently it didn’t stick.

“Why don’t you just have a wedding with only family and close friends?” Leah suggested, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

Rylie nodded her head in agreement. “Then you’ll still have fun and have everyone you love, but there won’t be too many people that it will make Olly uncomfortable.”

Both the boys nodded in agreement and hugged. Not that this would be the end of it, but it was resolved for now.

There was another knock on the door so I got up this time, telling Rylie to sit down when she stood up to do it herself, kissing her forehead.

“Hey Max!” Tessa squealed, hugging me over her very pregnant belly.

I couldn’t help but think that’s what Rylie would look like in a few months. I couldn’t keep the smile from my face.

Seth was beside her and we did that man hug thing that was awkward no matter who it was you were hugging.

I led them to the dining room table where everyone greeted everyone else, all full of smiles and laughs.

But as always, my eyes found their way back to my best friend, my fiancé.

Rylie.

I didn’t go looking for it, and when it came along it was closer than I thought. It was unexpected and I fell quick. Almost too quick, but she fell for me too and the power of her love and adoration for me is what could get me through a hard day.

And kissing her never got old, one kiss turns into two and two kisses turn into three. The kissing still made me feel fuzzy inside and when she bites my lip there’s nothing else that can make her sexier. Kissing someone you love should never be taken for granted, ever, because it’s their lips that you crave when you’re alone and feeling down. What is like wanting to be with the one you love all the time? It’s a few sleepless nights and thoughts on a piece of paper at 3am.

It’s remembering everything that she does and smiling to yourself. It’s looking over pictures of you both and listening to songs that take you back to some of your first memories together. It’s seeing her after missing her and feeling her hands caress your face as she kisses you. It’s waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the silhouette the of her body and putting your arm around her to hold her tightly, because even though she’s sleeping you want her to know that you love her and it’s when she moves slightly and gently squeezes your hand or turns to face you and gives you a soft, sleepy kiss, letting you know that she loves you back. It’s the little things that make everything worth it.

All the doubt, the hurt, the pain, all the falling. The good choices, the mistakes, the insults, the compliments. It was all worth it.

Everything I went through was worth it for her.

For the most beautiful, inspiring, creative, sarcastic, witty, talented, sweet girl I had ever met.

For Rylie.