It was two weeks before their one year anniversary and Dean had been planning a surprise for Cas, actually two surprises one of them being that he was finally gonna tell Sam about them. He had enough with the hiding and the secrets, he was happy and he wanted his little brother to know about it. He came into Cas' room to tell him what he was going to do but instead found him packing a bag.

He was confused since nobody said anything about going on a case "where you going?" Cas looked up at Dean and smiled "some of the angels who we helped contacted me and said that they had a lead on where Metatron kept some of my grace, I'm going to follow it" Dean nodded and smiled, he knew how much Cas wanted this "great just give me a few minutes to pack and I'll come with you" Cas paused and sighed.

"Dean you can't come with me" he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion "why not?" he walked over to Dean "because this is something i have to do alone, plus I'm gonna have to take another angel with me and i don't want her anywhere near you. Even if most of them are grateful of your help bringing them back to heaven some are still wary of you, this one in particular has mixed feelings toward you" Dean was confused by this "what do you mean?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck "well when i first became human, before i came back home i spent some time with an angel named Hannah and she-" he took a pause "she started to develop feelings for me but i shot her down and she got jealous because instead of staying with her i was worried about getting to you as quickly as possible since you guys were in trouble"

Dean leaned in and kissed his boyfriend before pulling away with a sigh "fine just promise me you'll come back to me before our anniversary" Cas smiled at the mention and kissed him again "i will don't worry" he walked back to finish packing and Dean stood there, a little worried about what would happen when Cas was an angel again. He was brought out of his thoughts by Cas calling his name. "Did you hear anything i said"

"What? no, sorry" Cas looked concerned and walked over to him "I asked if you were okay" he nodded and smiled at his angel "yeah i just hope you can actually make it back on time, i have a surprised planned and i don't want you to miss it" he lied, not wanting to concern Cas with his worries right before he left. Little did he know that Cas was also worried about how their relationship would change after getting his grace back.

Dean kissed his angel again, this time longer and more passionate trying to put all the words he wanted to say into the kiss, Cas realized this and kissed him back harder to reassure him that they would be fine. They broke away for air after a while but kept their foreheads together and their eyes closed, Dean kept his hands on his boyfriends face not yet ready to let go. "how much time do we have before you leave?" Cas smiled "I'm not leaving until tonight" "good"

They knew that it would be at least a few days before they saw each other again so they made the most of their time together, not rough and fun like usual but instead slow and passionate showing their love in every movement. It was almost as if they knew that the next time they saw each other, everything would change and not for the better...

The next 10 days were hard for Dean, he couldn't sleep much and when he did he would usually have a nightmare about Cas getting hurt while gone. Still with all of that Dean tried his best to stay away from the alcohol in the bunker, he knew that Cas wouldn't want him going back to his old drinking habit because of him. He was beginning to think that he wouldn't be back before their anniversary but he did, he came back 3 days before but Dean really wished he hadn't.

Dean was sitting on his bed playing with something and thinking about his angel when Sam opened the door, he quickly shoved the thing back in his pocket before his brother could see and looked up "Cas is back, he's parking his car" he nodded, pretending like he didn't really care but the he turned his back Dean's face broke into a huge smile, 'finally' he thought to himself before basically sprinting to the kitchen.

He came in to find the two most important people in his life hugging, Sam let go and gave Cas a pat on the back, now it was his turn. He gave Cas a huge hug even though he wanted to do more, when he let go they asked a few questions about his trip and how if he got his grace back. Instead of responding he just showed his wings, their shadow showing in the bright room and his eyes glowing a shade of blue from his grace. 

(shh it's my story and i need him to have wings)

"So how does it feel finally being an angel again?" Sam asked, Cas hesitated before saying "well my powers aren't fully back and they won't be for a little while but so far it feels different, a lot of the things i felt as a human are now just gone" Dean got slightly anxious hearing that but didn't let it show, Cas couldn't have meant them could he? After a few minutes of talking Sam went to take a shower, finally leaving Dean alone with Cas. The second he was gone Dean ran to Cas and pulled his face up to his own, closing the gap between them only to pull away seconds later when he didn't feel Cas kissing him back.

"What's wrong?" he asked scared, Cas sighed before talking "Dean we need to talk. I don't think we should be together anymore" he said in an almost monotone like voice, he sounded just like he did when they first met, emotionless. "What?" Dean asked, barely above a whisper "it's nothing personal-" he was cut off before he could continue when Dean started yelling "NOTHING PERSONAL? Nothing personal? What are you firing me? what happened to 'i will never ever leave you'?" he let out a scoff "what happened to 'i love you'?" Cas looked up "i lied"

Dean didn't say anything for a moment, just looking into the eyes he loved seeing in the morning just trying to find anything that told him that this wasn't real "what do you mean you lied" he finally asked "when i was human i felt sad and vulnerable, you made me feel good and i didn't want to lose that so i lied and told you what you wanted to hear" Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing "i made you feel good? what you mean the sex, was that all i was to you, a distraction? Did i mean so little to you as a friend that you didn't care what happened to me, how i would feel about it" he asked angrily

Cas swallowed hard "as a human i didn't want to tell you because i felt bad and didn't want to hurt you but now as an angel my human emotions are gone so i saw no use in continuing to do this or to hide the truth any longer" he replied calmly, still without showing a single emotion "oh don't make it sound like you kept it a secret for my benefit, you never cared you just didn't tell me because you wanted to keep sleeping with me. You're selfish you know that"

"How is what i did any different then what you used to do, you used a different woman basically every night for sex and then never called them again" "THE DIFFERENCE" he yelled "the difference is that i never let them believe that i was in love with them for months, months Cas" he shook his head and just sat down with his head in his hands "whatever i should've known that letting myself trust someone, letting myself love someone was gonna bite me in the ass" he looked up to find Cas just staring at him, he thought he saw a slight twitch of sadness but it was quickly gone.

"What are you even still doing here, there's nothing left for you apparently" he put his head in his hands and when he looked back up moments later he found no one there. All his anger faded and he just broke down, letting all the tears he was holding in go. After a while he got up and sat in the library just drinking, he didn't even bother turning the light on. He didn't notice Sam walking in until he sat in front of him "where's Cas?" hearing his name sent a wave of pain straight into his heart "gone" was all he said back.

"Gone, what do you mean gone?" he took another sip before continuing "i mean gone, he left" Sam nodded "well he left before, he always comes back" Dean poured himself another cup "yeah well not this time" he downed the drink before going to pour another, Sam took the bottle before he could "alright slow down what's wrong, what happened i haven't seen you like this since-" he interrupted by slamming his glass down on the table making Sam flinch "i'm fine" he took the bottle back from Sam and poured some more, he drank half a glass and continued.

"My best friend just left probably for good and the love of my life just broke up with me but i'm great Sammy" he finished off his glass before standing up and walking to his room "Dean" he called his brother but got no answer, Dean stopped at the end of the table and pulled something out of his pocket and staring at it with a tear falling down his face before placing it on the table "i guess i don't need this anymore" he said before walking off leaving Sam who was just staring at what his brother had put down.

It was a small velvet box with two engagement rings inside.

A/N: please don't kill me i swear it get's better!!!