(Spoilers** this is after Metatron so Cas is human, but Sam was not possesed by Gadreel so Cas never left)

Sam and Dean were in the bunker looking for cases when Sam finally found one, it looked like a couple werewolf's in Toledo "alright you go wake Cas I'll-" "actually could you wake him I-uh I need to make some coffee before we leave" Dean said, interrupting Sam "ok we'll meet you outside in 10"

Dean nodded and went to the kitchen, he hated doing this but he knew that the only way he could figure out what the hell was going on in his head every time he saw Cas, was to avoid him. It wasn't his best idea but he needed to figure it out and he can't seem to think straight every time he sees those damn blue eyes.

He was wrestling with his feelings a lot lately "I'm straight, I have to be, but why can't I get Cas out of my head? And why do I feel something that I've never felt before when I'm around him? What the hell is that feeling? Damn it Dean you can't be doing this again, this can't happen again. Just remember what happened last time" he thought to himself as he frowned at the memory.

Dean was making his coffee when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he flinched at the touch and looked back to Cas staring back at him "damn it Cas" he tilted his head a little in confusion which Dean couldn't help but think was cute "no stop it, bad Dean" he mentally scolded himself

"you can't sneak up on me like that man, say something, make a noise seriously" Cas furrowed his eyebrows a little "my apologies, i was just wondering when we are leaving, Sam says we have a case" Dean backed up a little, feeling like he was standing dangerously close to the angel which confused Cas but he ignored it

"yeah just let me pour myself some coffee for the drive and we can go" he gives Cas a little smile and goes to pour some coffee, trying not to think about the angel who he could feel staring at him.

He put down the cup and looked back "what Cas?" He asked, a little more aggressive then he intended. Cas looked upset, he hadn't even realized that he was staring at Dean he just couldn't stop looking at him, trying to find the courage to ask him what was going on

"nothing, sorry I'll go wait with Sam" he turned around and walked out of the kitchen thinking about how Dean had been acting ever since the "incident" with Naomi when he almost killed Dean.

He was trying his best to ignore it but he was sure now, more than ever. Dean Winchester hated him.

He didn't blame Dean for hating him, hell right now he hated himself for what he did to him, but still it hurt. The man he loved, hated him and there was nothing he could do about it. He was sad, he could never tell Dean how he felt because he could lose him and if Dean hated him now, he sure as hell wouldn't change his mind if he figured out that Cas had feelings for him, actually he might start to hate him even more, if that was possible.

Dean had to take a deep breath once he was alone, he felt bad when he saw the hurt in Cas' eyes but he kept telling himself that this is what's best. He has to stop thinking about his best friend in that way. He has to.

It seemed like a normal case, their first "grocery run" in a long time, so they tracked down the nest and went in with their silver knives. It was going fine, there was about seven of them, they had killed off most of them but the last three were the strongest. Each one of them was fighting a werewolf so they couldn't have each others backs.

The boys were starting to get the upper hand and fighting back, Sam killed the one he was fighting and so did Dean. Cas killed his seconds later but not before the werewolf scratched him up pretty bad. "Cas!" They both rushed over to him when they saw all the blood on his shirt.

They helped him to the impala and drove back to the bunker. Once they got there, Dean took Cas into his room "I'll clean up his wound, it's getting late you should go to sleep Sammy" Sam nodded and went to take a quick shower before going to sleep.

Dean sat him down on the bed and went to grab his first aid kit. He came back and sat down next to Cas "can you lift up your shirt so i can see the damage" Cas nodded and took his shirt off, which was easier than just lifting it.

Dean couldn't help but stare a little, he knew that Cas had been working out a lot since he became human, to gain more strength but he didn't realize how much until now. "How bad is it" he shook away his thoughts and went back to looking at the wound.

"It's not too bad, just a scratch but I'm going to have to clean it, you won't even need stitches" Dean put some alcohol on a cloth to clean the wound "this is gonna sting a little" Cas winced as the alcohol hit his open wound.

"Sorry" "It's ok i deserve it" "this wasn't you're fault man, that werewolf just got the jump on you that's all" "that's not why" Dean was confused "then why do you think you deserve this exactly?" He finished by covering the wound so it wouldn't get infected. Cas sighed, finally getting the courage to talk to Dean.

"For the same reason you haven't looked me in the eyes this entire time" Dean felt guilty, maybe Cas knew, no he couldn't "I'm focusing on your wound Cas" he grabbed Dean's wrist while he was putting some tape to keep the bandage on, which made Dean look up at him, but only for a second "then what's your excuse for barely looking me in the eyes for months"

Dean opened his mouth to speak but Cas interrupted him "it's ok Dean, i understand why you hate me" for once he actually looked up to meet the angels eyes "what the hell are you talking about?" "You don't have to deny it Dean I've realized how different you act around me and honestly i don't blame you. After my wound heals i will be leaving so that you don't have to worry about hiding it anymore"

Cas stood up slowly to leave, still in pain because of his wound. Before he could open the door he felt someone grab his arm, he turned around to meet Dean's bright green eyes "i don't hate you" "Dean you don't have to-" he was cut off mid-sentence when Dean pulled him closer, put his hands on his cheeks and kissed him passionately.

At first Cas was surprised, but he quickly recovered. He put his hand on Dean's hips and pulled him in closer, leaning more into the kiss. When they pulled away, they still kept their foreheads together and their eyes closed "i don't hate you Cas, i love you" Dean said, opening his eyes only to be met with the pair of blue eyes he's been avoiding for months "i love you too Dean"

They pressed their lips together again, this time more rough and passionate. Dean pushed Cas onto the bed and hovered over him, only breaking the kiss to start kissing down his jawline and neck. Only to quickly return to his lips, almost craving them after hearing Cas moan.

It wasn't rushed like Dean's normal hookups, it was a kiss filled with passion and love. It was something neither of them had experienced before, but they weren't complaining it felt amazing. For the first time Dean didn't care if it went any further, this moment right here with Cas was enough for him.

Cas tugged at Dean's shirt and he got the message, he broke apart for a second to take it off but went back in for another kiss instantly. Dean's skin felt like fire everywhere that Cas was touching it. Soon enough they were both in nothing but their boxers and Cas was on top of Dean, straddling him.

Cas broke the kiss to lean down and whisper in Dean's ear "you know the pizza man wasn't the only one who taught me things, the babysitter did too" Dean moaned at his words, his voice sounded like pure sex, Cas started kissing down his body until he reached the rim of his underwear.

He looked up to make sure that this was okay and when Dean nodded that was all the confirmation he needed, he pulled Dean's boxers down just enough to pull out his hard dick. He blinked for a second looking at how big he actually was, before licking a stripe from the bottom all the way to the tip.

Dean gasped "fuck" at the feeling but that was nothing compared to what he felt when Cas took aa much of him as he could into his mouth and stroked the rest. Dean's had found it's way to Cas' hair and he grabbed onto it, fucking Cas' mouth.

Cas hummed around his dick which only made him feel more pleasure "fuck baby, you're so good at that" he moaned at the words of praise. Dean pulled him up by his hair and kissed him again "i think it's my turn to make you feel good"

He flipped Cas over and got in between his legs, making sure to be careful of his wound. He kissed him while reaching into the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube, he coated on of his fingers all while still kissing Cas.

Cas broke the kiss and gasped at the sudden feeling of Dean's finger inside of him. The next moments were spent with Dean prepping Cas, letting him adjust before adding another finger. Soon Cas became impatient, he wanted-no he needed more.

"Dean please, i need you right now" how could Dean possibly say no to that, he prepped himself without even once parting his lips from Cas', only when he aligned himself with Cas' entrance did he pull away "Cas?"

He opened his eyes and stared right into the green ones in front of him "are you sure?" He nodded "i need to hear you say it, i need to know that you want this" he pecked Dean's lips and pulled away, looking him in the eyes "i have wanted this for years now, Dean i trust you"

Dean blushed a little, up to this point they were pretty rough but this moment was different, this moment was intimate, he closed the gap between them with a kiss and slowly pushed into Cas. They both groaned at the feeling and Cas winced a little at the pain.

It took him a second to adjust but when he did he nodded "it's okay Dean, please move" Dean happily obliged moving slowly, pulling all the way out before going back in. Cas' hands were around Dean's neck and Dean had one of his hands on Cas' hip and one on the other side of Cas, holding him up on the bed.

He still had to hover a little while on top of Cas to avoid his wound, the last thing he wanted was to hurt him. Their foreheads were pressed together, and their lips never parting except to release words of praise or moans. Although most of Cas' moans were swallowed by Dean while they kissed, he never wanted to stop hearing Cas moan his name.

Dean parted their lips but kept their foreheads together, eyes still closed "fuck Cas, you're so tight" he moaned "is that okay?" He asked a little worried that he was doing something wrong, Dean opened his eyes to find blue ones staring right back at him "it's amazing"

He leaned down and kissed him again "you're amazing Cas" this time Cas leaned up and connected their lips passionately and Cas pulled away for second to moan when Dean went in deeper "you feel so good baby" Cas could only moan in response

"You better watch out, if you keep making those noises i might not be able to control myself" Cas opened his eyes and smirked at Dean who was looking down at him "is that a threat?" He leaned in closer to whisper in Dean's ear "or a promise?"

Dean groaned, he didn't know where Cas was getting this from but man was he glad. He started speeding up his pace and thrusting harder, going almost all the way in which drove Cas crazy with pleasure. It felt so good, Cas felt something happening, something he had only felt once before but this time was different, almost stronger.

"Dean i think I'm-" he cut him off with a kiss "i know baby just hold on for me a little bit longer, i wanna cum with you" Cas just nodded, not being able to speak from the pleasure coursing through him as Dean started to go faster and harder while also using the hand that was on Cas' hip to stroke his dick between them.

Dean leaned down to whisper in his ear "go ahead baby let go with me" and with that they both unraveled, Dean pushing all the way into Cas only made it better as they rode out their highs together while moaning into each others mouths. When they were both completely spent Dean stayed there for a second with his forehead against Cas', relishing the moment.

Cas let out a small whine at the loss when Dean pulled out, he kissed him and got up whispering "stay here, I'll be right back" Cas did as he was told but honestly he didn't even know if he could move after that, Dean came back moments later with a wet rag. He used it to clean up the mess on Cas' stomach "thank you" it sounded like less than a whisper but Dean heard it and smiled.

Cas was surprised at how Dean was acting, it was so soft and loving he never thought Dean could actually be this affectionate. Of course he knew that Dean probably just felt bad and was being nice, he knew that this was probably just like one of Dean's other nights with women except of course the obvious that he's an ex-angel and that he was in a male vessel.

It was sad for him because he knew how much he's always loved Dean and it would break his heart if this was only a one time thing. Still he had some hope, Dean was being extremely thoughtful, he cleaned Cas up, he kept kissing him and he even helped Cas put his boxers back on. All of Cas' worries melted when Dean laid next to him on the bed.

He had thought that Dean would make him leave or that he, himself would leave but that wasn't the case. Dean put on his boxers as well and laid next to Cas, they were facing each other and Dean put his arm around Cas. Always making sure to avoid the bandage in fear of hurting him.

Dean kissed Cas' forehead and pulled him closer, which made Cas smile. "Goodnight Dean" "goodnight Cas" as he was drifting off to sleep Cas heard Dean mumble something and he smiled again "i love you too Dean"

Author's note: AHHH OK! THIS CHAPTER ORIGINALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANY SMUT AND I JUST ADDED IT AND I'M SO SORRY IF IT'S TERRIBLE. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER WROTE SMUT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WTF I'M DOING!!! EXCEPT ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE, IM 2000% SURE I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS. I feel like i need to go take a bath in holy water after writing this😂

Anywho I'm so sorry if this sucks but its over 1000 words of smut which is more than half the chapter and yeah I'm gonna go shoot myself now. Except for the fact that I'm altering another chapter to add it then updating with another chapter that's most likely going to have it. And they will both be so much more sexual than this one so shoot me now.