{Kurt}

When Jon came down for supper, showered and changed into a comfortable flannel shirt, it felt to Kurt like his boyfriend had set aside the weight of his responsibilities for the evening. Jon laughed easily at Kurt's stories over supper.  Cary served up a more elaborate meal than usual: lemony herbed chicken and roasted vegetables, plus trays of finger pastries, fruit, cheese and fresh veggies.

"Almost forgot," Cary said. "Kadee called to wish you a happy birthday, Jon."

Jon raised an eyebrow. "Kadee Yoshenko has my number. Why'd she call you to wish me a happy birthday?"

"Uh...I guess we were talking and you came up," Cary said.

Kurt was very intrigued by the bright pink color of Cary's ears. "Kadee Yoshenko from high school?" Kurt asked. "You two still in touch?"

"Yeah, we talk," Cary said gruffly. "She's an old friend."

An old girlfriend more like. Kurt exchanged a look with Jon, who raised his eyebrows expressively back. Cary was only saved from a barrage of follow up questions by the sound of the doorbell.

"Cue the Christmas carols, Visser," Cary said, getting up quickly from the table. "That's the girls."

There was a happy clamour of hellos and boots stomping off the snow in the front entryway. "Sorry we're late," Bea said breathlessly. "Tab took forever fixing her hair."

Curious, Kurt went into the living room to meet Jon's middle sister for the first time.

Tabitha White was smoothing her thick blond hair over her shoulder, a pale honey colour Kurt envied. She was wearing a cropped, soft pink sweater and the black leggings with mesh windows that seemed to be all the rage with a certain set of females these days. He could exactly picture the group she fit in with in high-school, the same straight-edged athletic crowd he'd blended into when he was there.

Jon put his hand on Kurt's arm, drawing him closer. "Kurt, this is my sister Tabitha May. Tab, this is my boyfriend, Kurt Visser."

She made a small face like Jon had waved a carton of milk past its best before date under her nose. "Kurtis," she said. "You can call me Tabitha May. I would really like my family to call me May." She looked pointedly around the room.

Bea shrank a little, pulling her mustard-yellow slouchy hat down over her hair. "I just forget, sorry."

"If you can remember your friends' arbitrary pronoun choices you can remember to call me by my middle name instead of 'Tab' like I'm the section of a binder," Tabitha May shot back.

Kurt tried to deflect her negative energy, waving his cup of cider around the room. "Well good to meet you, Tabitha May. Welcome to our party."

She made a gesture with her hand, like she was smearing something over his body. "Just so we're clear? I know who you are. No one asked me if I approved of adding you to the guest list of our family party. And I'm never putting a rainbow on my social media for you."

Kurt slurped a drink of his cider to cover his dismay. He would not normally have been hurt by someone's shitty opinion about his life, but Jon's sister had caught him with his guard down, expecting kindness.

Jon put his body between her and Kurt, glaring at her. "This is my house. Kurt is my person. I don't need your approval."

She made her back ramrod straight to look Jon in the eye, in spite of being half a head shorter than him. "Your 'boyfriend' shouldn't assume I'm just going along with your life choices like the rest of you. Dad says in our family we make space to disagree."

From the kitchen doorway, Cary said gruffly, "Dad also says not to be a jerk about it. You got some work to do on that front."

Jon tugged his hands through his hair, making it stand up in messy waves a couple shade darker than his sisters'. "What 'life choices'?" His voice was soft and tight. "Could I be less gay than I am right now--everywhere but here?"

Kurt wanted to put his arm around Jon and smooth him down--but he thought the gesture would only make what was apparently a long-standing argument worse. Across the room Bea had her fingers knitted together under her chin, her eyes going from one older sibling to the other.

Tabitha flicked a look at Kurt, her lips tightening. "I think you forget; some of us have to live with the backwash of who our siblings are."

Jon's face blazed white with anger, and he wrapped his arms over his body like he was holding himself back. "What do you want from me, May? I can't stop breathing just because your little friend group is offended I exist. Would it make your life better if I crossed myself out of this family? You want a turn at being the oldest surviving White sibling?"

Tabitha flushed to her hairline. "You're being horrible; of course I don't want that. I'm not offended by you, Jon. "

Cary marched into the middle of Jon and Tabitha May's stare-down with a tray full of puff pastry. "How 'bout you help me set up downstairs," he said, plunking the tray into Tabitha May's arms. As they left, Kurt heard him ask, "You have a crap day at school, or what's your deal today, May? You're spoiling Jon's birthday."

Jon took a huge breath, unknotting his arms and rolling out his shoulders. "And that is why we don't have dinner at the folks every week." He glanced back at Kurt, pressing out a smile, but his eyes were still dark with anger. "Sorry love, I should have warned you. Tabitha doubled down on all the tidy sex and gender boxes when I came out."

Quick to overlook and make peace, Kurt flashed him a grin that included Bea, huddled in the entrance of the living room. "Darlin', I couldn't care less. If I needed family approval to carry on I wouldn't be here." Bea's face warmed in a smile back.

"I'm just glad I don't have to live with her anymore," Jon muttered. "She would try the patience of a saint. And I'm no saint."

Kurt chuckled, nudging his arm with his. "Hm--a quality I appreciate about you."

Jon shot him a wry look. "You would." Kurt felt him relax a fraction, but his boyfriend's hands were still bunched into fists in his pockets. "Want some cider, Bea?"

Bea slipped up beside her brother as he ladled cider from the pot on the stove, putting her arms around him and leaning her head on his shoulder. "No one wants you crossed out of this family, Jon," she said softly.

The words hit Kurt's chest--in the middle of the dust-up with Tabitha he'd missed the emotional weight to them the first time. Did Bea know her brother's arms were crossed with scars? Surely Jon hadn't ever really contemplated taking his own life. Kurt's heart was in his throat at the thought.

Jon kissed the top of her head quick, sighing, and Kurt saw the rest of the tension in his shoulders release. "I'm really hoping this is a phase your sister grows out of," Jon said. "You turned out perfect, Honey Bee."

Bea snorted, giggling. "I'm only twelve."

Jon gave her a genuine smile. "Never change."

"I'll be short forever," Bea said in a tragic voice.

"All right, fine. Permission to grow," Jon said. "Not taller than me, though."

"Oo Kurt, I made something for you!" Bea rummaged in her shoulder bag, pulling out a knitted tuque, with broad stripes and ear flaps, holding it out. "Everyone in my family has one of these so you should have one too. I made them for Christmas last year."

With a happy gasp, Kurt took the hat. The stripes were blue-grey and purple and the purple had a little sparkly thread worked in. "Bea White, I love this." He jammed it onto his head, for once not caring that he was flattening his carefully styled hair. He put a hand under his chin, posing. "How do I look?"

She grinned. "Fabulous. Fits perfect."

"Where's yours?" Kurt asked Jon, and Jon smiled sideways at him. His boyfriend went to the coat closet and tugged a tuque with a white pom-pom out of his jacket pocket, pulling it on. The pattern of the yarn made an ombre from rich red to rust brown.

"Can I take a picture?" Bea's eyes lit up. "I have all the rainbows on my social media."

"Nope, sorry darlin'," Kurt said. Her face fell and he pulled out his phone. "But you can be in a picture with us for my private collection. And we'll send it to your mom for safekeeping."

They crammed together for a groupie in front of the big tree, bare except for lights, and Kurt held out the camera in his long arm. At the last moment, Jon turned and planted a kiss on his cheek, so the photo was Kurt's wide-eyed surprise and Bea's open-mouthed grin, and Jon's eyes closed, his hand clasping the ear flap of Kurt's tuque while he kissed him.

Laughing, Jon leaned into Kurt's chest to look at the photo. "Mom's going to love that."

"I love it," Kurt said. "You're so damn adorable--oop." He glanced at Bea. "Sorry for swearing."

She shrugged, still grinning.

The three of them wore their tuques as they traipsed downstairs with arms full of cider and the rest of the snacks. Kurt gave Tabitha May plenty of space, but with carols playing and the warm chatter of family around her, Jon's middle sister seemed to relax.

Unboxing the toy tree bin took some time, with the girls exclaiming over their old Polly Pockets, a Fisher Price doctor's kit complete with working stethoscope, and Jon's red viewfinder. The white circular disks with tiny windows punched around the edge were strung with thread to hang like Christmas balls.

"I forgot about these!" Kurt said, and spent minutes with his face glued to the little red viewfinder, feeling the satisfaction of pushing the spring-loaded lever and flipping to the next slide. Unfortunately, none of the photos featured naked-y bits whatsoever, but he had fun checking every one to be sure.

Cary supervised the placement of each toy until the branches were weighed down with all the memories of the White children and the little additions Cary had made each year, the toys he had purchased for himself to treasure: a Buzz Lightyear and Woody climbed among the branches with Jon's GI Joes, an assortment of Beanie Baby animals were tucked near the trunk, and a few metal puzzle toys dangled from the frayed tips of the old tree.

Unpacking a pair of sleds, Cary arranged them under the tree to hold a collection of stuffed toys and dolls, from wide eyed Cabbage Patch children to a beagle with the fur worn off his ears. Glancing over, Kurt caught his boyfriend hugging the beagle to his chest and rubbing its ear fondly before tucking it into a sled beside a thorny plastic tribe of Barbies.

"Time for tinsel," Cary said, catching Kurt's eye. "Visser, you want to do the honours?"

Kurt grinned. "Only if my boyfriend helps."

They liberally threw tinsel over the whole tree until the toys were dripping with it, and Jon had threads of tinsel all over his shoulders and his hat thanks to an extra-wide flourish of Kurt's arm.

When they were finished, they all stood back to admire the tree, Bea leaning back against Cary's broad body and craning her neck to check his reaction. His teeth flashed in his beard. "That'll do for another year. Get the lights, May."

Tabitha May flipped off the lights in the basement, and the multi-coloured lights on the tree glowed softly, making the tinsel appear to ripple like water. She crossed to the tree, folding her slim legs and taking a seat, looking at the others expectantly. Cary sat stiffly, sprawling his long legs in front of him. Bea laid on her stomach, chin in her hands, kicking her sock feet in the air as her eyes glimmered with the light of the tree. Jon took Kurt's hand and tugged him down to sit in the loose half-circle of White siblings with him, leaning against Kurt's chest. Kurt watched the group, wondering what they were doing now.

"It's a special day today," Cary rumbled, glancing at Jon with his eyes crinkled in a smile. "And we don't do presents except for stories. And I'll start."

Jon pulled Kurt's arm across his chest and Kurt felt him take a slow breath, relaxing against his body.

"Jon, on the day that you were born into our family," Cary's words fell into a rhythm, like it was the opening of a familiar song, "Dad took you in his arms and his heart grew three sizes bigger to hold you. The nurse said--it's a boy! And mom said--oh good, a second son. My quiver is full."

Kurt hummed softly, looking at the peaceful, open faces around him and Jon's smile in the glow of the tree lights.

"Tabitha May," Jon said softly, meeting his sister's eyes. "On the day you were born into our family, the nurse said--it's a girl! And mom said--oh good, a daughter for me and a sister for Jon."

Tabitha May nodded once, smiling a little back, and turned to her expectant sister. "Bea, on the day you were born into our family, the nurse said--what a beautiful smile already! And mom said, oh good, a sister for May and for Jon."

Kurt held his breath, watching Cary, the person it seemed to him would be most uncomfortable with these origin stories since they underlined that he didn't belong in the same way as Jon and his sisters. Cary had his eyes lowered, listening.

"Your turn Cary," Bea said, sitting up and holding out her hands. Cary set his big fist between her slender fingers. Bea unfolded his fist, smoothing her hand over his palm. "The day you were born into our family, Cary, these were all fresh." She rubbed her fingers on the tattoo just below the fold of his elbow. "And you didn't have your tattoos to tell your story, just your scars." Her voice was quiet and steady.

Tabitha May chimed in the next line. "The social worker said--no one wanted you."

Cary huffed a laugh. "Your favourite line."

"No," Tabitha May protested. "Dad said--we'll take him and keep him safe with us. That's my favourite line."

Bea continued, "And mommy said--oh good, a brother for Jon. And Tab--May. And Bea."

Kurt saw Cary glance at Jon, and the glow of quiet happiness in his bearded face made Kurt's eyes prickle with heat.

"And that's how we became a family," Jon concluded, quiet and firm. "And we'll always be each others' family, no matter what."

The moment hung in the air, full, and Kurt hugged Jon more snugly against himself. "I love that story," he said huskily.

"Maybe next year you'll be in it," Bea said, smiling at him.

Kurt felt Jon's soft laugh against his body. "Bea," Jon said. "Don't scare my boyfriend."

Leaning his chin on the top of Jon's puffy pom-pom, Kurt smiled mischievously back at Bea. He mouthed--maybe I will--wiggling his eyebrows. Bea cupped her hands over her mouth, giggling.

"Good work family." Cary shoved to his feet and held out his fist. Each of the Whites dapped it with their own. Grinning, Kurt did the same. "Time for dessert!" Cary led the charge upstairs.

The carpet was in the middle of the living room floor now, and Bea snuggled in the pile of pillows and blankets, reaching for Misty and dragging her into her lap. "C'mere fuzz-butt." Misty glanced sleepily at her, then closed her eyes again, draped over Bea's legs. Bea folded her arms behind her head, admiring the big tree standing in the window.

Tabitha May said, "Remind me again why we can't just decorate the big tree today? We're all here."

Kurt glanced at Cary, wondering about this as well. The big man was unperturbed, setting up their coffee. "We wait because sometimes we have to wait in the dark for good things to come. It's not Christmas yet." He glanced at her, smiling. "Also I still have to shop for fabulous pink and purple ornaments."

Tabitha May sucked in her breath, turning to the tree. "Oh wow." A slow smile spread over her face. "That is going to be gorgeous. You have to let me come with you."

"Me and Kurt already made plans," Cary said evenly.

Her eyes flicked to Kurt, who was pretending not to listen as he tuned his guitar. She pursed her lips, considering this. "That could be fun," she said.

"Oh definitely it will be," Cary said. "If you leave your chippy attitude at home. People change. You can't hold them to their past shit forever."

Tabitha May flicked her hair over her shoulder. "I've lived with you the past seven years--I know that."

Cary shot her a look under his eyebrows. "Exactly. Grow up, May. I would hate for you to miss out on my parties."

"Ohh snap," Kurt said softly to his guitar, and laughed to himself. He'd never felt so completely at home.

The gluten-free cake Cary had bought was transformed into a layered dessert in a clear Pyrex lasagne pan. Cary said, "Uh so the PG-thirteen version of this dessert is called a trifle. But for the rest of us-it's called 'Sex in a Pan.'"

Both girls wrinkled their faces, laughing a little.

"Are there candles?" Kurt asked. "Do we sing?"

Jon was leaning in the doorway, his arms folded. "No candles, Visser," he said. "You can sing if you want as long as it's not Happy Birthday."

"Oh I have an even better idea." Kurt grabbed his guitar, pulling a chair over to prop his foot up, since his strap was upstairs in the case. "Dessert with dessert. I've been working on something for the queer Christmas choir that I think you're gonna love."

Jon's eyebrows lifted hopefully; Kurt hadn't played and sung for anyone the past five weeks but the timing felt just right. Cary filled the girl's bowls with the creamy, chocolatey dessert, laughing as their eyes rolled back in bliss on the first bite.

Kurt met Jon's eyes across the room. "This is actually perfect for your birthday, Jon, because this song is about you." And he bent his head and started to sing 'Lover's Prayer,' with the new lyrics he had written for Christmas, about light and peace held between the hands of his lover. Since he'd come to trust Jon more deeply, this song had also deepened, and the room grew quiet as he played and sang.

"Jon's crying," Bea said in a small, wondering voice.

Kurt opened his eyes, finger-picking the last notes as he checked Jon. The other man wiped his eyes on the cuff of his hoodie, turning aside. Kurt swiftly set the guitar on her stand and crossed the room to pull Jon into his arms, heedless of anyone around them.

Jon laughed shakily against his chest. "Always the crying with you."

Wordlessly, Kurt kissed him, the touch of his lips the last word of his song for Jon.

A chorus of "Ewww" erupted behind them and Kurt pretended to glare at Jon's sisters. "Get used to it, darlin's. I'm gonna be kissing your brother every day for the rest of your lives." Bea giggled and Tabitha May rolled her eyes, a little curl on her lip.

Jon's ears were pink and he touched Kurt's chest with his hand once before letting him go. He cleared his throat. "Where's this sex in a pan at?" Jon asked. "Someone better tell me if it's as good as the real thing." He looked pointedly from Cary to Kurt.

Cary choked around his spoonful and Kurt shook his head, his eyes wide and innocent. "I wouldn't know. Still waiting for my special someone."

"It'll do in a pinch," Cary said, and Tabitha May made a face again.

"You're all terrible examples," she said. "There are children present."

Bea looked up from where she had been letting Misty lick whipping cream off her fingertips. "What? What are you all looking at?"

Kurt laughed. However, after he'd tried the dessert, he decided he agreed with Cary's assessment. The name was well earned.

*Now I want sex in a pan, how about you?

Sooo Tabitha May. It felt unlikely to me that everyone in Jon's family would just beautifully accept him. What seems to be her problem with Jon and Curt?

Do your parents have stories they tell about the day you were born? My parents definitely trot out the same story every year and I love it. I decided to incorporate that into the tree party. Jon may not want a birthday celebration, but Cary's not going to let the day pass without recognizing it.

Read 4 readers--I swapped out 'Douglas' for 'Cary' and 'Curt' for 'Kurt' in this scene. Still trying to figure out what to do with their unfortunately similar names. Does this read more smoothly?

Because if you love it I have a h*ll of a lot of work to do to change every single one, but it'll be worth it <3 Thank you so much for your eyes on this!*

3428 words.