*For my lovely under-14-year-old readers: some grown up thoughts and conversations about sex ahead.*

{Jon}

Jon's toes were achingly cold in his boots by the time they pulled up to the hotel. The hundreds of windows in the turreted hotel building made his eyes widen as he tipped back to take in the building's size and luxury. There was a valet to park their car for goodness sake.

When Kurt swiped the key card and opened the door to their room, casually tugging off his boots and slinging his long body onto the bed with a groan of relief, Jon could only stand and stare. He'd never seen such a massive, luxurious bed in his life. The thing was a yacht piled high with embroidered pillows and a fluffy down duvet, all coordinated with the heavy window coverings and the arm chairs pulled up to what would have been a stunning view of the Rockiy Mountains if low hanging clouds weren't covering the peaks right now.

"What--what is this?" Jon stammered.

Kurt was wigging his sock feet with relief, digging in their backpack for his book. "I believe it's called the honeymoon suite," he drawled. His blue eyes narrowed mischievously at Jon. "You should look in the bathroom."

Barely breathing, Jon leaned into the bathroom doorway; a massive Jacuzzi tub with sparkling jets dominated the tiled room. It was full of steaming water, like someone had just drawn the bath and left.

"Are there candles?" Kurt called. "I asked them to put out candles."

Pillar candles of varying heights lined the sink, and Jon blinked, then brushed a tear off his cheek. Honestly, were the tears ever going to stop?

He unzipped his parka and pulled off his boots and then just kept undressing layer by layer until all his clothing was in a pile on the floor. "My toes have been froze for hours. Are you coming?" Stark naked, he flashed Kurt a brilliant smile, and his partner glanced up from his book.

Kurt's grin spread over his face. "You make a very persuasive argument. I suppose I will have to save the world from haunted demon bones later this afternoon." He tossed the book aside, giving it a warning poke with his finger. "But I'll be back. I'm not sleeping before that shit's laid to rest."

By the time their mud facial appointment rolled around, their fingers and toes were prunes and they were both feeling the exhaustion of their early morning so they crawled into the giant bed instead. Mud facials would have to wait for another day.

Kurt curved his long body around Jon's, radiating heat from their time in the Jacuzzi. He ran his hand over Jon's neck and up into his hair. "How are you feeling, love?" he asked quietly. "You were a little spooky this morning."

"Mm," Jon stretched and smiled, eyes closed. That felt like a long time ago. "Not spooky. 'M sorry for scaring you."

Trailing his fingers to stroke Jon's tattoo, Kurt asked, "Safe in your skin?"

Jon paused, running his fingertips over the faint raised lines of scars on the back of his arm. "Yeah," he said slowly. Actually, he couldn't remember a time he'd felt so wholly--normal. Like he didn't need anything to be fine.

"On a scale of one to ten?" Kurt's question hummed between Jon's shoulders.

"Feels like a--" Jon was afraid to say zero and tempt fate somehow. "--like a one? I just feel, um..." His lips curled and he snuggled back closer to Kurt's chest. "Like the morning after you went down on me the first time. So good and relaxed."

Kurt tucked an arm around Jon's chest and he breathed out, long and slow. "Good," he murmured.

As Kurt dropped into sleep, Jon wove his hand into his partner's, feeling the familiar shape of the other man's body behind him, Kurt's soft belly and long strong legs. His mind wandered to imagine Kurt not only wrapped around him but also filling him, touching him inside, and even spent as he was, the thought woke a quiet ache of desire. He'd done enough homework, carefully and privately, to be long over his fear of taking that step with Kurt but even in this gorgeous honeymoon suite his partner said nothing about it.

What if Kurt was just waiting for him to say something?

Sighing, Jon rubbed a hand over his face. What if asking was going to make Kurt feel pressured to do something he didn't want to do? He'd never got the sense that Kurt was pushing for this when they were together. Maybe there was a reason for that.

He didn't know because Kurt didn't tell him those stories; Jon just had to guess at his past from what Kurt's body said under his hands. He was better at reading his partner's cues now; he didn't kiss Kurt's neck anymore, and he never pinned his wrists even in play. Some days it felt like Kurt's whole body had flinched closed; even though his words and his hands and his mouth said he wanted Jon, Jon had to go slow slow slow to coax him to unfold and feel pleasure with him.

Carefully, Jon rolled over, propping his head on his arm. He studied Kurt's sleeping face, brushing a single hair free where it had become caught in Kurt's lashes. Never in his life had he felt something this large for another person. He wanted to believe that over time Kurt would heal but even if he didn't. Even if every time they were intimate Jon had to attend so closely to his face and his breath and the shiver of his skin, he was still all in. They were going to figure this out because that was who Jon was now: a person whose life, whose body, was woven together with this man's.

Jon's lips curved slowly in a smile, watching the flicker of Kurt's eyelids and the slope of his long mouth, hanging partly open as he slept. Who was adorable when he was sleeping. Jon's eyes drooped closed and he fell asleep with his face tipped towards Kurt.

{Kurt}

They spent the afternoon getting mani-pedis, a hot pink and tangerine combo for Kurt and a hand massage for Jon. That evening, Jon's poppy-red painted toes were pointed in the air beside Kurt on the hotel bed. Sweat dripped off the ends of Jon's hair as he balanced on his forearms, legs lowering in splits, and then both to the mat in a controlled flow of movement. Kurt glanced up from his book to check him out occasionally, but he was determined to finish 'Bag of Bones' before turning out the lights.

Finally Kurt turned the last page, heaved a sigh of relief and chucked it aside. "Done. Thank Christ. No more spooky books for Kurt."

He rolled off the bed and scootched on his back under the bent 'v' of Jon's pose, smiling up at his inverted partner. "Mind if I join you? I can just lie here on your mat, right?"

Jon blew out his lips, a drop of sweat splatting on Kurt's cheek. "I mean, what could possibly go wrong?" He rotated his upper body, stretching an arm into the air, and then completed the rotation through his hips, arcing in a side bridge over Kurt's sprawled form before returning to his 'v' fold, hands and feet planted on either side of Kurt's ribs. Jon was breathing hard, but it looked to Kurt like his shoulder had done all the things it was supposed to. "Almost done. What was your book about?"

Kurt reached up to trail a finger over Jon's sweaty, flexed stomach, making his partner twitch and huff a laugh. "I am definitely going to fall on you if you keep doing that," Jon said.

Kurt withdrew his hand. "My book was about...things I liked better when I thought they weren't real."

"Mm-hm?"

"What are the chances you have that nightmare tonight?" Kurt asked.

Jon walked his hands and feet sideways, away from Kurt, to fold into a kneeling pose, arms outstretched. "Normally I'd say fifty-fifty." His voice was muffled. "But I don't think I will, tonight. No spooky feelings at all." He turned his flushed face to Kurt, narrowing his hazel eyes in a smile. "This has been a really good day."

"Huh," Kurt said thoughtfully. "Douglas prayed for you this morning, while you were sleepin' in the car. Says he's blessin' our rooms before we get back."

Jon looked surprised. "I never thought of doing that."

Kurt shrugged, stretching on the mat and putting his arms behind his head. "So Cary is an exoricist, basically." He watched Jon's face for his reaction. "Very reassuring to have around."

Jon laughed softly and popped up onto his feet, looking light and strong. "I'm showering quick so I don't get our sheets all sweaty."

While he was gone, Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the SkyTram schedule for the hundredth time. He'd finally made his plan and his stomach was fluttering with tiny butterflies, anticipating tomorrow morning. Jon was going to be so surprised. He could hardly wait; it felt like trying to sleep on Christmas eve when he was eight years old.

He got to his feet, rolling up Jon's mat and gathering up the clothes scattered around the room, folding them back into their backpacks so they would be ready to check out early in the morning. He was watching hockey highlights on TV when Jon came out of the bathroom, his robe hanging off his bare shoulders, and climbed onto the bed, kneeling next to him. "Hey, Kurt?"

Kurt clicked off the screen, noting Jon's worried expression. "Everything okay?"

Jon clasped and unclasped his hands in his lap. He took a big breath, his cheeks pink. "I'm just wondering...when you're coming inside me? If we're--doing that. Sometime."

Kurt startled; he'd been a million miles away from considering this question.

Jon bit the corner of his mouth, his eyes soft on Kurt's. "I don't want to push you. At all. But I--" His voice disappeared briefly, and a tear slid out of the corner of his eye. Jon brushed it away, looking at his fingertips like he had no idea why they were wet. He cleared his throat. "I want you to have all the things that you want, with me."

He shuffled a little closer and picked up Kurt's hand, setting it on his bare chest. "And I...want that with you. If you want that." Kurt could feel the thrum of Jon's heartbeat under his palm; his stomach was a muddle of mixed feelings.

Jon bit his lip, searching his face. "Please say something and save me from how awkward I am right now."

Kurt managed to laugh, trying to get a full breath in his chest. "Surprised me again, White."

Jon dropped his eyes, squeezing Kurt's hand. "You don't want to," he said soft and quick. "I'm sorry for asking. I should've waited for you. I just thought maybe you were waiting for me." He caught his breath, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eyes. "Jesus. How do you deal with all the crying. For real."

"Hey," Kurt said softly, sitting up and putting his arms around Jon's silky shoulders. "Thank you for asking." He felt Jon's shoulders droop with relief. "I just...wasn't expecting this tonight. I've had a few things on my mind." Sighing, Kurt put a kiss on Jon's temple. "I think I'm just too tired, love. It's a hassle. Imma have to get out of this bed and go down to the desk and figure out if they have lube and condoms or if I have to go to a pharmacy."

Sitting back on his heels, Jon's lips started to twitch at Kurt's weary recitation.

"And then I'd have to put on my coat and scarf and go out in the cold and find someplace open before we even get started. And honestly, I have everything I want tonight right here in my bed. Just you and hockey highlights and the fluffiest damn duvet I've ever seen."

Jon was laughing softly, his blushing cheek turned aside.

Kurt kept checking his face, worried now that he hadn't anticipated where his partner was at. "Is that okay? Can we not?"

Jon nodded, collapsing back on the pillows with his arms sprawled over his head. "Yes. Fine. I've only been waiting my entire life to have sex with you," he said drily. "What's a little longer."

Snorting a laugh, Kurt climbed over the bed to sandwich his body on top of Jon's, tangling their legs together and working his fingers into his partner's shower-damp curls. Jon tipped his face up to him, eyes glowing with a smile.

"I'm pretty sure you've been having sex with me for some time now, Jon," Kurt said. "I'm very sober and I have a very clear memory of you coming, hm, approximately a hundred an' thirty nine times."

Jon pressed his lips together, eyes widening. "Um. You haven't been keeping count. Have you?"

"Oh, love." Kurt laughed quietly, tasting Jon's bottom lip, and then the dip at the base of his throat. Jon made a low sound, stretching underneath him. "You're my favourite thing."

Later, they were curled together, like the interlocking spiral of a shell, the duvet heaped around them. Jon's eyes were half-closed, and Kurt drew swirls around his belly button, making Jon's laugh puff against his stomach.

Jon rested his arm, warm, on top of Kurt's hip, rubbing his fingers over the muscles that tapered into Kurt's spine. "You can say no to me, Kurt." Jon's voice was soft and husky. "If you decide you don't want to, at all. I don't need to do all the things. I love what we have."

Kurt curled a little smaller, his knees brushing Jon's shoulders. "Me too." He closed his eyes, the warmth of Jon's muscular body and the salty, clean smell of his skin anchoring him just in this moment, where he was completely safe. He had not expected to have so many big feelings about this request. "That's a complicated question? For me. And I think I...just needa have a think about that."

Jon's eyes were open and intent on his face, and half his mouth smiled when Kurt was done. "I can wait as long as you need," he said softly. He put a kiss in the corner of Kurt's mouth. "You matter to me, love. More than fucking."

Kurt laughed a little at the way their roles were reversed. "Very kind of you."

Jon was fishing for his boxer briefs and T-shirt and burrowing back under the blankets. "I know I am," he said cheekily. He plopped back on the pillows, dragging the shirt over his face and throwing his arms over his head to sleep. "I'm the best life partner."

Kurt laughed to himself as he slid out of bed to throw on his robe and comfy pants, intending to jot a few lines in his song-writing notebook before bed. It was a few minutes before Jon's words sank in for him and he lifted his face to consider the other man's deeply breathing form.

He couldn't remember a time when Jon had spoken so confidently about himself, even as a joke. He tipped his head, listening. The room felt quiet and ordinary; just the sound of the heater 'thunking' under the window and faint conversation on the other side of the wall.

He called Cary. "Hey, just checking in," Kurt said, speaking in an undertone so as not to disturb Jon.

"Yeah?" Cary said. "You good?"

Kurt took a slow breath. "Really good, actually. Um. What did you do this morning?"

Cary was silent a moment. "I asked Jesus to do his thing. Pretty much it. Blessed your rooms so they're clean and clear when you get back."

"Huh. Well, it's working over here. So thanks, Cary."

"Yeah, I'll pass it along," Cary said wryly.

2615 words.

*Is my 14A content warning needed for this scene, because of the subject matter in their conversation?

I have done so much homework myself on this part of Kurt and Jon's story. Their growing physical intimacy is definitely a place I lean heavily on my gay dude friends to ground it in authentic experiences of real men. I'll tell you more about that next week!

Were you surprised by anything in this scene? Did you expect Jon to be the one to ask, and Kurt to be the one putting the brakes on?

It's a very special 3-chapter weekend, so look for more words tomorrow!*