{Kurt}

The day warmed as they swung down the last switchback towards the rustic cabin-style restaurant perched on the north beach of Annette Lake. Jon unzipped his jacket and Kurt unwound his scarf, pulling off his tuque and combing his fingers though his hair. As they stepped inside the warmth of the cabin-style interior, Jon took Kurt's hand and wove their fingers together, and Kurt checked his face. His partner looked completely un-self-conscious, holding Kurt's hand as he glanced around the dining room full of other early risers, tourists with expensive cameras and hikers with walking sticks tucked next to their chairs.

Kurt ordered a pancake breakfast; Jon ordered lunch and devoured his hamburger on a gluten-free bun, clearly ravenous. Jon was helping himself to Kurt's untouched fruit salad when Kurt asked, "So what changed with your dad, White?" The photograph of Pete White in a 'Free dad hugs' Tshirt, with his arm wrapped around Jon at a Pride parade was in Kurt's mind. "He seems like a big teddy bear now."

Jon's eyebrows flicked up and he smiled. "Yeah, he is a big teddy bear now." He plucked one of Kurt's hash browns off his plate, nibbling thoughtfully. "I think it was me, actually. When I came out."

Kurt flashed him a glance. "Oh yeah? Fire didn't rain down from heaven?"

Jon wrinkled his nose. "Not at all. I was so fucking terrified. And there was nothing."

Kurt turned his plate so Jon could reach the rest of his hash browns. "Tell me about that," he said quietly. He flashed Jon a glance. "I could use a few more wholesome Christian dad stories in my life."

Jon was leaning forward, his chin on his hand, his lips quirked. "I still can't get over how much you want me to talk about myself," he said, laughter in his voice.

Kurt grinned briefly. "I'm a devoted Jon White fan. If you're saying you don't want to tell me, I guess you better find me another story while I finish these pancakes."

There was a pause. "No, I can tell you," Jon said. "It's just...this is a story about you too. Seventeen year old you."

Kurt smoothed his hand over his front, taking a steadying breath. "Well now I have to hear it. Lay it on me, Jon."

"Okay. Short version." Jon folded his arms on the table, seeming to gather his thoughts. "The year we met? Was hell year for Dad and me. Dad was posted to a new pastoring job in this...horrible, ingrown toxic mess of a church. Sorry Kurt, your old church."

"Apology not necessary," Kurt muttered, making a face and taking a drink of orange juice.

"I had to start at a new school half way through the year. Your brother and his fucking dude bros were making my life hell in the halls. Cary was my only friend, thank God for him." Jon laughed under his breath.

Kurt was leaning his elbows on the table to hear this side of the story that he'd never heard before. All he remembered was Jon appearing in church one Sunday morning, shy and smart and adorable as hell, with freckled cheeks that flushed faintly pink whenever Kurt caught his eye.

"Broke my ribs, started using opes." Jon paused, seeming to realizing something. "Opes turned the volume way up on that voice, actually. I thought about cutting all summer, when I wasn't with you." That made Kurt's throat tight--all the shit he hadn't known about Jon then.

His partner ducked his head. "Started cutting when I was trying to quit opes, cold, without letting anybody know." Jon shivered and his fingers tightened on his arms. "Anyways. Dad caught me."

Kurt sucked in his breath, heart tripping.

"I'd had a nightmare and scratched the hell out of the cuts on my stomach. I was bleeding all over and Dad..." Jon exhaled, rubbing his eyes. "Cleaned me up. Put on a million bandages. I was fresh out of treatment and--you'd just told everyone at church I'd been using. And your dad and the rest of the Elders' board had just fired my dad, basically. And we were at the bottom."

Jon delivered these words with even simplicity, but Kurt felt like they piled him into the ground. Putting his elbows on the table, he cupped his hands around his face so he could just see Jon. It had not occurred to him that the stupid shit he'd done when he was seventeen and desperate, had so completely wrecked Jon's family. How was it possible Jon's parents were even speaking to him now, let alone welcoming him into their home?

Jon stretched his shoulders back, eyes out the window on the mountains. "I didn't have the time of day. For my dad then. I didn't tell him anything. I just went back to bed. And the next morning, he was sleeping outside my door. Like he'd got a camping mat and just set it up there so he'd know if I came out in the night. Suicide watch." Jon made a soft sound. "He wasn't wrong."

Kurt blinked, tears overflowing his eyes, wishing he had been there, wishing he'd walked the dozen blocks to Jon's house to climb through his window and hold him all night to keep him safe. Wishing he hadn't been a big part of the reason Jon was on that ledge in the first place. He kept quiet and still so Jon wouldn't stop telling him this story.

"Two things happened," Jon said softly. "One you don't believe, and that's fine. I had, like a dream. That Jesus kissed me. And my cuts healed. That was one thing. And the other thing is--my dad saw me." He brought his eyes to Kurt's and paused, reading his partner's face.

"Keep talking," Kurt said huskily. "I'm just cryin'; it's fine."

Jon took a breath, tipping his face. It took him a moment to go on. "Sorry this is such a long story, Kurt. I could stop and we can head to the hotel."

Kurt shook his head vigorously. "Nope. Finish your story, Jon. I need to know what happened."

Reaching over the table, Jon found Kurt's hand, weaving their fingers together. "'Kay," he said. He lowered his eyes, rubbing his thumb over the back of Kurt's hand. "That's the day I came out to my dad. The day after you and I... broke up, or whatever it was we did."

Jon flinched a little as he said it, clearly not immune to that memory and Kurt's throat made a soft, involuntary sound. His heart had crushed into a million pieces when the line went dead on their last phone call--Jon White hanging up on him. What he hadn't absorbed at the time was how thoroughly he'd messed Jon and his family over. Jon had every reason to stop speaking to him and get as far away as possible. God, and why had Kurt stayed stuck in his family home for so long where he could never act on his feelings for Jon? It wasn't as if his dad put a lock on his door; he could've just walked out.

At their table, Jon's fingers tightened on his and he pulled his chair closer so he could hold Kurt's hand against his chest. He touched Kurt's face with his free hand, catching his eyes. "Past, yeah?" he said softly.

Brought back to the present by that touch, Kurt slumped a little and scooped a big bite of pancake and whipped cream into his mouth. "I thought there was a hugging part in this story." His voice was hoarse, but he managed a smile for Jon.

Jon laughed quietly. "Yeah, there is. Um. So I'm standing there in our kitchen and my arms are still cut to hell and...Dad listened. We never talked about our feelings before then. But that morning--he got it. That I was hurt. That being gay and having to be good in his churches hurt me. And I have no idea. What went through his head at first. Except he hugged me, like so tight."

Jon's head was bent, his hand clasping Kurt's firmly against his chest so Kurt could feel his slow breath. "Felt so good; God I cried so much." Jon laughed a little again. "We both did. And Pete's never been the same, since. He got counselling; I got counselling." Jon snorted. "Admittedly, I didn't tell my counsellor half of what I should have. But...we got better. And that's--what happened."

Kurt swiped his eyes with his free hand, exhaling. "Does he remember that it was me? That I told my dad and got him fired?"

Jon's fingers tightened on his. "Oh, Kurt. That was so long ago."

Kurt's pressed his lips together, giving Jon a look. "You told me he never was a pastor again."

"Because his kid was gay," Jon said gently. "Not because of you. He got other pastoring job offers. But by then I was out. Dad wore a fucking rainbow pin to the interview just in case his denomination didn't already know, and he wouldn't apologize for me. They had no idea what to do with him." Jon laughed wryly. "He probably should've just stayed home. But I think he was mad on my behalf. He can be a bit of a badass."

Kurt's laugh was unsteady, but his stomach was relaxing. "Guess it runs in the family."

Jon narrowed his eyes in a smile for him, his face bright in the morning sunlight. "Yeah I guess it does." He was looking at Kurt with so much fondness that Kurt's ears warmed. "And then you finally came out," Jon said. "And I pretty much couldn't resist messaging you immediately when I saw that. I'm so very susceptible to your charms."

"Hm if only I knew what that word means," Kurt drawled, gradually recovering his composure.

"It means I find you sexy as hell, Visser," Jon said, laughter dancing in his eyes. "And always have."

Kurt put on a wounded expression. "I hope you mean I'm thoughtful and funny and a good cook and you don't just love me for my body, White."

Jon laughed so merrily, the tourists at the next table turned to look, catching Jon kissing Kurt's knuckles and returning his hand to him. "You're the whole damn cheesburger and a side of fries, love," Jon said. "I couldn't be more happy to be here with you."

Kurt ducked his head, a smile curling his lips as he tucked his fingers in the pocket of his coat, wrapping them around the little ring box he was keeping secret there. That was past, he had finally gotten the hell out--and Jon was his present and future. He had a feeling he was going to need to sneak away and make some plans of his own for this mountain getaway.

"I couldn't agree more," he said.

--1726 words

*I hope you don't mind if we linger in Jasper for a little bit, lovelies. I'm wondering if, when the project's done I'll have to come back and do some trimming on all the stories Jon tells. What do you think?

For now you get the whole d*mn cheeseburger and a side of fries! Feel free to drop me comment and tell me what I absolutely must not cut. If you read Wake, you're familiar with the story in this scene, but I get the feeling less than half my current readers read that trilogy.

Thanks so much for coming along with me on this journey. Be well and get some sun today ♡*