"Sunny", Boney M.

I smiled, I smiled, I smiled, night after night, day after day, but my heart cried.

James came and see me one afternoon at my apartement. I smiled. Again. We talked about my extensive collection of disco records and disagreed on the relevance of its scale.

Suddenly, he scrutinized me and asked: "Could you cut my hair, love?"

I laughed. "Sure. Why not? But not too short, right? I love your long hair."

"Of course."

"What did you think about?"

"Yeah, no, a little bit shorter, that's all. And no particular plan. I trust you."

I put my hand on my chest in a theatrical gesture. "You do? God, I feel so honoured."

"And then, I will cut yours." He smiled with provocation.

"Absolutely not," I said.

"Okay, fine. Just mine then."

I made him sit in the bathroom and I washed his hair. I cut it to give it more movement and I styled it in a way I suspected he would like: rock star meeting Elisabethan dandy.

"Do you like it?" I said, watching with him the result in the mirror.

"It's perfect. I mean, of course I'm always stunning. But still. If only I had an Instagram account to share this beauty with the world."

I laughed. "You are a walking selfie opportunity, dear."

"By the way, what are you wearing right now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you are always beautiful - don't tell anyone I said that by the way - but this is not very you."

"There are many versions of me, sweetie."

"Okay. Which one is this one then? Depressed thirty something?"

I put my hand on my chest again. "Excuse me! Who are you calling thirty? I am 28-ish, thank you very much. I have been since the Jurassic, but still."

He kept quiet and got suddenly serious. "You still have a lot to offer to this world. You know that, right?"

I froze and felt tears coming.

He continued: "You take care of every one of us. You took care of me. Let us take care of you."

I could not talk. It was obvious: he knew.

"Do you at least talk to Aidan about it?" He said.

"I do not want to bother him," I answered in a whisper.

"Do you see the irony here? You remember we had this exact same conversation in reverse four years ago? And what did you tell me then?"

I sighed. "I know. But it is harder every day. It is... bad now and I do not want him to see me like that."

"Love, he already sees it. The only thing is that you are not letting him do anything about it, because you are pushing him away."

I closed my eyes and a tear rolled down my face. "I know. You are right. I will talk to him. I promise."

"Do it. And remember that Amaury and I are here for you. 24/7. Except, of course, when we are busy. But otherwise, whenever you want."

I hugged him tightly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he said, pretending to be annoyed.

I let him go and he said : "Okay, so I can't touch your hair, unfortunately. Can I at least choose the outfit for tonight?"

"That you can."

"I'm thinking jumpsuit. Bold print. And high heels."

"I like that."