Kabanata 18:

Nirvana

The sun was cheerful. The sea was calm. The birds were singing in fine-tunes. It was the best morning I ever had.

I rushed outside our bedroom with only in my robe when I couldn't grasp a hold of his body beside me.

I found Devon chopping logs of wood for the fireplace. Tuwing sasapit ang hapon ay nagiging malamig ang hangin galing sa dalampasigan.

Kaya't nagsusunog kami ng tadtad na mga troso sa hearth ng fireplace para takpan ang lamig na bumabalot sa amin.

Pumunta ako sa kusina at pinagtimpla siya ng black coffee na walang asukal. Kumuha din ako ng clean white towel sa closet niya.

"Good morning, babe." bungad niya nang nadama ang aking presensiya.

He was sporting a white cotton bandana, and square pants hanging on his mighty waist. His muscles were in sight. He was oozing with poignant masculinity.

Naiintindihan ko naman na naiinitan siya pero halos oras-oras naman ang paghuhubad niya ng t-shirt. Minsan halos wala na nga siyang saplot o tela sa katawan tuwing dadaan sa harapan ko.

Inaakit niya ako tuwing nagbabasa ako ng libro sa sofa. Tuwing nagluluto ako o kaya'y nakahiga ako sa kama.

Iniiwasan kong kumagat sa pang-aakit niya. Ngunit nauuwi naman kami sa mainit na pagtatalik.

Devon was a passionate lover. He didn't fail to make me laugh. He managed to do it even in the corniest and lamest jokes he could crack. Sinasabayan niya pa sa paghila ng kanyang pants paibaba para lang ipakita ang mabundok niyang puwet.

"What are we doing today?" tanong ko at marahang iniabot ang mug ng black coffee sa kanya. Tinanggap niya iyon.

He studied my face like I was the latest innovation. Na-conscious tuloy ako. I didn't even wash my mouth, my face, and comb my hair.

I presumably looked like a horrible witch.

Ibang-iba naman ang pinapakita niya. Mukhang nagagandahan pa siya sa itsura ko.

Lumapit siya. Napakurap ako sa pagbuga niya ng hangin sa aking mukha. Sa isang kislap ng aking mata ay nakanakaw siya ng halik sa aking ilong.

"Maglalaba ako, babe. Hand wash,"

He gently got the face towel from my hold. Parang cycle ang mga pangyayari sa loob nagdaang mga linggo. Tulog, kain, at linis ng bahay.

Excitement lighted my face. "I want to do that with you."

"Hindi ka dapat mapagod. Manood ka na lang. Pero dapat maupo ka sa hita ko," malanding agap niya.

"Kahit saan talaga ang landi mo," I blurted.

"Malandi ka rin naman."

He wiped his face, and rubbed his hair with the towel.

"What!? I didn't flirt nor seduce anyone before you," I reasoned out.

"Malandi tayo sa isat-isa." He smiled seductively, making him look inviting first thing in the morning of April. "Malandi ka pero sa akin nga lang. I love it that I'm the only man you seduce with. Ang swerte ko naman. Ang swerteng gago,"

"If that's the case, have you seduced anyone before me?" I asked cautiously.

He enveloped the towel around his nape. May kaunting hibla ng buhok ang nakaharang sa noo niya. It was in a sexy mess.

Dumukhang siya sa parisukat na bintana na pumapagitna sa amin.

He inserted his arm inside to place the mug at the top of the table beside me without taking his eyes out of me.

"Nope...I didn't, Eirene. I treated them without any other intention. You're the only one I surrendered my organ my...virginity," I could almost see his eyes burning with need.

"How is that possible? Ang galing mong..." I paused. "Alam mo na iyon, Dev." bulong ko.

The sun cast a shade of rainbow to him as if he was the main character in a theater play. I gulped. I was very immersed of the beauty of his face under the sun. He was a rhapsody, and my erotic fantasy.

"Ituloy mo lang, babe. Minsan talaga dapat maging specific ka sa lahat ng bagay para madali tayong magkaintindihan. I'm not a forecaster to guess what's the problem between us. You need to say it out loud. Pag-usapan kaagad natin kung ano man ang dapat na i-clarify to solve the problem immediately. I don't want us to be in the separation of conflict and misunderstanding. Tell me if you're not sated, I will do it fast, hard, pleasurable, and deeper next time."

My eyes widened. However, he was serious.

"Nagtataka lang ako. You're an expert on almost everything that you do. You know it, Dev.." I hesitated in seconds, but I pursued, "Even in copulation you're perfect,"

I couldn't hide the praise in my tone.

Kasing lawak ng karagatan ang ngiti niya.

"Rate it in percentage," he suggested in pride.

"Maybe 99.9" I answered him bluntly.

"May kulang pa talaga. Should we do it right now? Para malaman mo kung may improvement ba."

He raised his right brow as a challenge. I faked a frown, almost a hostile kind. Sumambulat siya ng tawa at bahagya niyang kinalog ang kanyang ulo sa aliw.

I watched his laughter take over his body as if I had spilled out the newest joke of the year.

I didn't feign a frown now, and he stopped. Nang humupa ang tawa niya malaking kislap ng pananabik ang nangibabaw sa mukha niya.

His mouth stretched into a genuine smile. "Seriously Eirene,"

Huminto siya saglit. Naramdaman ko ang pagkulong ng mga braso niya sa akin. I was pressed to his chest endearingly. "I've never laugh like this before, feeling my heart want to burst some destruction spurred by tiny kind of amusement. I've met a lot of Latina beauties and no one ever caught my heart. Only you. Yes, they're beautiful. Perfect face. Perfect body but it would stay that way. Parang dumadaan lang na kotse. Not the fact that you have a nice body, babe, but something switched the light on me. I woke up from hung-over, and a miracle God had blessed me,"

My heart fluttered. There were unknown insects inside my stomach, scampering straight to my heart. I was speechless. I wondered if I could seal his mouth with my punching lines too?

"I need a proof." I demanded, dodging the sincerity of the topic.

I asked for a proof, and he offered me a witness to prove his claim. He was good at words and especially in any efforts. Might as well challenge him.

"Pupunta tayo sa simbahan at tanungin mo 'kay Tito Francis kung paano ko tinatrato ang mga babaeng lumalandi sa akin,"

"May Tito kang Pare?" I blinked.

Hindi naman sa pagiging mapurol. Ngunit wala sa isipan ko na mayroon siyang kamag-anak na Pare. Walang kaunting kurot ng impluwensiya galing sa isang banal na tao ang makikita sa kanya. Nevertheless, he did not forget to thank God.

"Yes. Magsisimba tayo bukas?"

"Of course. I've never missed Sunday mass when I'm still in Manila,"

My stomach let out a loud growl. I chewed my lower lip.

Hindi pa pala kami nag-aagahan.

Nakakailang na katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin. Devon's head tilted, so that his mouth could catch the edge of my jaw and lips.

"I guess our baby is hungry," he crooned to my ear.

His lips were on my earlobe. His facial hair tingled my skin. He seriously needed a shave.

Tinampal ko ang braso niya bago pa mahantong ang umagang iyon pabalik sa kama.

Devon and I had been living for one month. We learned to accept our flaws and imperfections. We accepted each other's bad temper and outburst.

At the end of the day, we accompanied each other's loneliness, frustrations by hugs and kisses as if it was the cure that heals ourselves. In the storm of our problems, we solved it with our calm disposition.

I realized that it wasn't simple to be in a romantic relationship. It wasn't simply full of sparks and butterflies in the stomach. It wasn't merely to fill each other with happy entertainment. It was a serious play of commitment, trust, care, and love. Both should willingly submit their hearts.

Science didn't teach me how it works.

Devon and I were like a team. We listened to each other. That was the main reason why there was this huge possibility that we would be together in a lifetime.

Nirvana.

I felt I was in nirvana with him.

It was a glorious day when Sunday came. Pareho kaming nakasuot ng light colors na mga damit. He was in his white long sleeve, paired with his silver watch, and I was wearing in my floral dress with a chunky sandal.

It was the Priest homily part. His uncle quoted, "Saving is everything, my dear brothers, and sisters. Aside from saving your money, our funds, we must save those people who are close to our hearts, our family, our friends, and our faith to him. They are important more than anything else in this world. You can never trade them off with anything."

Palihom kong kinagat ang aking labi. I never felt this guilty. My family were looking and worrying about me while I was in the embrace of his nirvana.

He hooked his long fingers through mine, and unlocking his eyes to mine.

Devon's smile reached his eyes.

Walang kapantay ang saya na iyon.

He gave my forehead a brief kiss, not to attract attention inside the church.

Bakit parang kasalanan ang masyadong masaya? Parang pinapatikim lamang ako nito?

The melodious voice of the choir echoed. I assured myself that I shouldn't be worrying too much.

If this might fall in a wrong place, in a wrong time, in a wrong decision. But still, I would be glad that I experienced it with him.

"Ti amo, Eirene." he mouthed before the one-hour mass ended.

The green trees outside the church danced around as if he had uttered the secret psalm in which made them swayed to the rhythm.

Periedot Spiels