Takes place shortly after his move to Bremen

I stand up and leave my workplace to make some tea. But as I try to get a cup out of the cupboard I just can't reach it. "Can you help me, please?", I ask my colleague Luis. He nods and comes to me. He opens the cupboard and gives me a cup.  "Thank you.", I say and then cook some water for tea. As I want to get a teabag out of another cupboard I really have to fight again. Why? Well... I'm six months pregnant and my belly is quite big and since I don't want to smash my unborn child I often need help.

Now you probably ask who my child's dad is. Well... My child's father is my ex boyfriend Serge Gnabry. Yes, the football player. We've been together since we were in tenth grade. When I found out I was pregnant which was in ninth week I was kinda shocked because we're both very young but since we've been together for so many years I thought that he would be happy and that we'd start a family together now. But he didn't react that way. He shouted at me and told me that he wasn't ready to become a father. Then he broke up with me and left for Bremen where he's playing in Bundesliga now. It really hurts me. I was and still am so in love with him and not having him by my side feels like I'm dying more and more every single day.

Anyway, I return to my computer and keep doing some work but after an hour and a half I'm done with it. I turn off my computer and put my cup in the dishwasher before putting my jacket on. Since it's quite warm outside, at least for the fact that it's mid of December, I leave it open. I say good bye to my colleagues and hand my boss my finished work. Then I leave the building and walk to the bus station. I'm a little surprised that someone else is waiting for the bus, for normal I'm the only one getting on it over here. Anyway, I walk to the station and just stand there to wait. I open spotify and try to decide for a playlist as I hear a well known voice from the left.

"Hey.", the other waiting person says. I immediately get goosebumps from hearing the voice. Serge's voice. I slowly turn to my ex boyfriend and answer: "Uh, hi? What are you doing here?" He steps a little closer and now I can see his face. He looks terrible, the part under his eyes is very dark and his eyes are red, I guess he didn't sleep for a long time. As I let my gaze wander over his whole body I also notice that he's become a lot more trained. He nervously looks at me and mumbles: "I... I... I need to talk to you. Not here, maybe in a cafe or a restaurant or-" "We can talk in my apartment. Even though I don't think there's anything that still needs to be said.", I interrupt him. He loudly exhales and then says: "Well... I have a lot to say. Thanks for giving me the chance. And I got here by car, we can also take it for getting to your apartment." I agree and then follow him to his car.

We spend the first minutes of the drive in silence but then, as he drives around a corner, I say: "Wrong way." Serge looks at me with confusion and asks: "Aren't you living in our old apartment anymore?" I laugh hysterically and answer: "Hell no. I somehow also need money for things like food, the bus, clothes and all the baby stuff. And I don't earn millions, I'm not you, Serge." He nods contritely and then follows my instructions until we're where I live. It's one of the worst parts of the city, loads of criminality, but as a mummy to be it was all I could afford. "THIS is where you live?", Serge asks devastatedly whilst looking at he old, seedy building. I just shrug and then open the door. Serge gets a little box out of his car and then follows me upstairs.

Having arrived in my apartment we take our shoes off and wash our hands before entering my little living room. "Water? Tea? What do you want?", I ask Serge and he smiles a little whilst saying: "Water, thank you." I nod and get two glasses of water. As I'm sitting again I say: "OK now tell me what you want to tell me before I change my mind and kick you out." My ex-boyfriend sighs and then starts talking. "Veronica I... I am such a fucking idiot and I made the biggest mistake of my life when I left you. Throwing this, throwing you away like that just because I in the first second thought I wouldn't want this child, our child. We've been together for such a long time and every second with you was amazing. Without you I would have never had come so far. You always loved and supported me with everything. You even left your home for me. You did so much for me. And I threw all that away because I'm the most stupid person in the world. Because I thought that I don't want to have a child now, that I'm not ready for becoming a dad which ain't even true! We might be young but I have always wanted to have children with you and our love has been so damn strong for five years that starting a family at this young age is okay. Not only okay, it's wonderful. Over the past four months I've realised that this is what I want. That you are what I want. And that our child is what I want. I am sorry, Nica. For everything, I'm deeply sorry. And I still love you more than anything in the world and I'll always do. I totally understand if you don't want to take me back but... I want to support you with our little one and everything else. And I want you to know how perfect you are.", he says and whilst talking he even starts sobbing quietly.

After he's finished talking we just sit there in silence for a moment. I just don't know what to do. A part of me screams 'Kiss him and take him back' but the other part of me tells me to kick him out and never look at him again. The two parts are fighting inside of me and I really don't know what to do for a minute. I really want to forgive him and have him by my side again. But he hurt me so damn much. "Serge... I- I don't know what to say. It's... I... I'm still very hurt. You threw my heart on the ground, stepped on it and smashed it and then threw it in a puddle. And even though you did all that... I still love you. And I... I want to forgive you. Or at least I want to try it. Serge... I can't forget it and it'll take some time until I can fully forgive you but... I still love and need you. And our son needs his dad too. ", I whisper and take his hand. Serge looks up and I see some tears in his eyes. "Our son?", he whispers, "It's a boy?" I nod and his eyes fill with tears even more. Then he stammers: "Nica... Will... Will you be my girlfriend again?" I smile at him, nod and whisper: "Yes. I need time to heal but I want this, I want you." With those words I gently place his hand on my baby bump.

Immediately he opens his eyes widely and stares at his hand on my belly. He slowly moves it, softly stroking over the bump. That makes me smile. An hour ago I still thought I was going to have to raise our son as a single mum without even telling him who his father is and now I'm sitting here with his father who's touching my bump for the first time.

Whilst Serge fascinatedly strokes over my belly I gently wrap my arms around him. My boyfriend looks me deep in the eyes and as I nod slightly he connects our lips. The kiss is very soft and we're cautiously approaching a more intense one. God, how I've missed this feeling! The warmth and softness of his lips is overwhelming but the emotions we're both putting into it are taking everything to a whole new level. The fears, the pain, the regrets, the anger, the confusion, the love... There's so much emotion in this kiss.

With his free hand, the left one, Serge pulls me a little closer. Meanwhile I intensify the kiss by letting my tongue slip into his mouth. Immediately it starts playing with his which is very intense even though they play softly and slowly. I softly gasp into the kiss, it's just too good to feel his lips again. Serge's right hand now strokes down my belly and his fingers play with my shirt's seam. He interrupts our kiss for a second to ask "May I?" and as I nod he slowly pulls my shirt over my head. Immediately I get goosebumps again. It's been almost half a year since someone, and that person was Serge, saw me without a shirt and since then my body really has changed which makes me a little insecure. But Serge immediately makes me feel better by whispering: "Wow, you look absolutely stunning!", then he places his hands on my belly again. This touch is a lot more intimate than the last one which is only logical. My shirt was kinda like a barrier between Serge and our baby and now there is nothing but my belly between them. The only people who are allowed to get that close to my baby are my gynaecologist, my sister and bow also Serge. Therefore it's a very special, intimate thing right now.

Whilst Serge strokes over my bump we kiss intensively again. I feel like I gotta get a compensation for all those months without his lips and so I don't wanna let go of them. I only interrupt or kiss once and only for a short moment that I use to take his hoodie off. Just as I could see earlier already he's become a lot more trained. His chest and abs show clearly defined lines now and his arms are really big. For a moment I stare at it. "When I realised what I've done but didn't know what to do I pretty much started living in the gym.", Serge explains and I nod. "I like it.", I whisper whilst still staring, then I also touch his body. My fingertips brush over every single muscle. And his breath gets slightly shaky.

We spend the next minutes kissing and touching but then his fingers play with my bra clasp. I think about it for a moment and then decide to signalise him that he can go ahead. I don't know if I want to sleep with him or if I want to do anything sexual today but I know that I feel ready for this step and so I nod. Serge opens my bra and throws it on the ground, then he grabs one of my boobs, gently of course. They've become a little bigger in the past weeks and my boyfriend fascinatedly notices that. But his reaction isn't really different from the way it was a few years ago, whenever he got to see my boobs his eyes started shining and so they do now.

He softly massages my boobs with one whilst still kissing me and stroking over my belly with the other hand and I quietly moan in pleasure. As he softly twists one of my nipples between two fingers I even let out louder groans. But not for long. Our son decides to kick me in the stomach which is quite painful and makes me exhale loudly. Serge first asks me if I'm fine and as I made clear that I am he fascinatedly looks at my belly and strokes over it whilst our son is moving a lot. At times some kicks are a little painful again but I don't really care about it because the scenery is so cute. Serge lying between my legs and talking to our baby boy whilst feeling his movements is way too cute.
Of course it interrupted our love making but for right now that's okay. The moment is very intimate and full of love and in the end that is all that matters. Our love for each other and our baby.