Decide On Us

"What's going on?" Clara asked, slowing to a stop, her abrupt entrance making Flynn drop his teacup. She'd picked over the rest of her lunch, losing what little was left of her appetite, before making her way back to the Library, only to find Flynn tete-a-tete with Judson and Charlene, his guilty face giving the game away.

"We're just having a little tea party," Judson said lightly, setting down his own teacup, exchanging an odd glance with Charlene as he did, "discussing over some delicious Earl Grey your secret connection to the Serpent Brotherhood."

"Oh, so you want to see my secret connection to the Serpent Brotherhood, then!?" Clara snapped, before suddenly lifting up the skirt of her red floral dress, hoisting it up until it was well above her hips. "See that!?" she spat, jabbing her finger at the long tapering scar down her side, where she'd been impaled on Excalibur. "That's my connection to the Serpent Brotherhood right there" -

- "As I can observe," Judson said hastily, standing up with some difficulty, shaking off Charlene's steadying hand, Flynn looking like he was going to faint. "You've proved your point, Clara, but please put your undergarments away. I think Flynn is going to have a heart attack."

"Oh, come on, it's not like he's not seen my so called undergarments before," Clara spat, "and if not, he better bloody get used to the sight!"

"Impure!" Flynn yelled, recovering himself, pointing at Clara dramatically. "Impure!"

"Stop bickering like a pair of brats!" Judson bellowed, startling Flynn into silence. "This is not kindergarten!"

"He backstabbed me!" Clara said in disbelief, dropping her dress, much to everyone's relief. "He came running to you, telling tales like some ten year old, trying to be teacher's pet" -

- "I was not!" Flynn protested, getting to his feet, nearly knocking over the table as he did.

"You were too!"

"Enough!" Judson demanded, suddenly sitting down, Charlene standing up. "What did I say!? No fighting!"

"If there's going to be fighting," Charlene said smartly, "it's going to be against the Serpent Brotherhood, not amongst ourselves. Savvy?"

Clara stared at Charlene. "That's my word," she said pettishly, "you can't just take other people's words."

"I just did, sweetheart," Charlene said with a cruel smile. "You might say I've gone native."

"Can we focus on the matter at hand, please?" Judson snapped. "We have to recover an ancient artifact from the hands of an even more ancient enemy!"

"I didn't know snakes had hands," Flynn said stupidly.

Judson just pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Look, maybe we should phone the police," Flynn exclaimed, throwing his large hands up in the air, completely losing his head, "they – they can just go and arrest this Serpent Brotherhood!"

"Oh, yeah, call the cops," Charlene drawled, "tell them about the Spear of Destiny, the Golden Goose, the Emerald of Exon and yadi-yada. I'm sure they'll appreciate such a yarn, and so will the men in white coats."

"Yes, enjoy your stay on the psych ward, Flynn," Clara said pertly, "I understand Thorazine comes in vanilla now."

Flynn just shook his fist at her, making Judson shake his head, tired of their childish behaviour.

"Nobody can understand the mysteries of the Library's traditions," Judson said tersely, "and it seems too much to expect the two of you to even try."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Flynn asked suspiciously, sensing something behind Judson's words, something he was sure he wouldn't like.

"You're the only one who can bring back that piece of Spear, Flynn," Judson said, exhaling sharply, "you and only you."

"Me?" Flynn said in disbelief, taking a step back, only to knock over a stack of books.

"You're the bloody Librarian, Flynn," Clara snapped, as Judson snapped his fingers, making the books re-stack themselves, "so yes, you." Her eye briefly caught Judson's, making him raise an eyebrow, reminding her of their earlier conversation about Clara finally catching the catch, contradicting what she'd just said.

"You might say I'm the Librarian," Flynn argued, "but that doesn't mean I am."

"I asked if you could become that man, the Librarian," Judson said impatiently, "and you said yes, that you could. This is the moment you become that man, Flynn."

Clara just stood there, confused and bewildered, Judson making sense and nonsense.

"Don't try and apply logic to the Library, Clara," Judson said tiredly, "it's a wasted exercise of intellect."

"But" -

- "But you shall be accompanying Flynn as his Guardian," Judson continued, cutting across her, "a task I hope you shall undertake to the best of your ability."

"Hey, you said the Guardian was an outdated tradition," Clara flared up, "that it wouldn't save Flynn from dying – that it hadn't saved any of the other Librarians either" -

- "Excuse me!?" Flynn squeaked. "Did you just mention me and dying in the same sentence?"

"I said it would be too much to expect you to understand the Library's traditions," Judson said evasively, ignoring Flynn, "so you can start right now by assuming the traditional mantle of Guardian."

"I can't believe this," Clara said, shaking her head, beginning to pace the floor, "first of all Flynn's the Librarian, and then he isn't, then he is, then he isn't, and then there's no Guardian, no Nicole" -

- "Who's Nicole?" Flynn asked stupidly.

- "Now there is a Guardian," Clara continued, ignoring Flynn this time, "who now happens to be me, when you said Guardians were basically a waste of time" -

- "Hey, hey, I don't want you as my Guardian angel or whatever it is," Flynn protested, flinging himself in front of Clara, forcing her to a stop, "not when you're sneaking about with these snake people."

"I'm not talking to you," Clara said clippedly, turning to Judson, "I'm talking to him."

"Him has a name," Charlene said acidly.

"And thy name is Judson," Judson said biblically, rising to his feet once more, "lest thou forget."

"How could we?" Clara trilled, starting to crack under the pressure.

"They didn't take the book," Judson said suddenly, picking up a black leatherbound volume from the shelf just behind Charlene's head, "so that's a stroke of fortune in our favour."

"Oh, they didn't?" Clara said, flinging up her hands, Flynn looking fearful at her hysterics. "How fortunate!"

"Just as I said, Clara," Judson said coolly, looking over the top of the book at her, something in his face forcing her to get a grip.

"What's so important about the book, then?" she asked, feigning a calm she didn't feel as Charlene poured herself another cup of tea, Flynn sitting down again, making himself uncomfortable.

"If you ever want to hide something, hide it in plain sight," Judson said cryptically, his hooded gaze boring into Clara, both knowing he wasn't just talking about the book.

"Um, can you say that in layman's terms?" Flynn said nervously. "I'm sort of out of the loop so to speak."

"This book contains all the clues you'll need to locate the other two pieces of the Spear," Judson said, rolling his eyes, before setting the book back down again. "The second piece is in the Amazonian jungle which is frankly rather amazing."

"Oh, goodie," Clara said sarcastically, "that narrows it down to about three million square miles. Needle in a haystack, anyone?"

"Give the fool the book," Charlene said to Judson, indicating Flynn, all but ignoring Clara's outburst, "and give Miss. Party Pooper here a raincheck. We've got work to do."

Judson exhaled sharply again before picking the book up once more, leaning over the table, Flynn taking the volume with trembling fingers. "The book is written in the Language of Birds," Judson explained, as Flynn flicked through the first few pages, "as you can evidently see by the apparently nonsensical garble."

"Yeah, I kind of noticed that," Flynn said shakily.

"It's mankind's universal language actually," Clara corrected almost automatically, "it was before God decided man should speak many tongues - after the Tower of Babel of course."

"How kind of you to enlighten us," Charlene drawed, "none of us knew that the Language of Birds had such exonerated origins."

"Charlene," Judson said warningly, "let's play nice now. We're all batting for the same side."

"Are we?" Flynn said, glancing up from the book, his gaze falling accusingly on Clara.

"Do you even know who the Serpent Brotherhood are, Flynn?" Clara demanded, advancing on Flynn, who hastily shook his head, suddenly struck mute with fear. "Well, listen and learn, Smart-Arse, because you're going to need to know, so consider this an accelerated education. The Serpent Brotherhood were a splinter group back when the Library was based in Alexandria during ancient times; they were scholars, just like you, but they wanted to use the power of the artifacts to rule over others. Their name orignated from the serpent that tempted Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden because as the old saying goes, knowledge is power, but there those who disagreed with the Brotherhood's ethos. Such disparity led to disagreement, then hatred, then war, inciting the riots that led to the destruction of the First Library" -

- "If you're not in league with the Serpent Brotherhood, how come you know so much about them, huh?" Flynn interrupted, jabbing his finger at her, hiding the book behind his back.

Clara just face-palmed herself.

"Anyways," Flynn said pompously, "the Language of Birds has been a dead linguistic communication for thousands of years – is there anybody alive who even knows how to read it?"

"Perhaps you should get cracking," Charlene said pointedly, "time is money after all."

"But I can't decipher a dead language in two shakes of a lamb's tail," Flynn said in disbelief, "even with the Rosetta Stone, it took hundreds of Egyptologists seventeen years to work out what the hell was going on with those hierogylphics" -

- "I'm sure you can rustle up something, Flynn" -

- "I really think you're expecting too much of me," Flynn said, shaking his head, cutting across Judson, "this is my first day here and I don't even have a parking place" -

- "Flynn, the most valuable objects in the world aren't found in the Library," Judson said impatiently, interrupting Flynn in turn, leaning over the table again, "they're right here." He tapped the side of Flynn's head, but Flynn just looked at him blankly, completely clueless.

"The fate of the world really rests in his hands?" Charlene said sceptically.

"I'm afraid so," Clara said tiredly as she sat down, pouring herself a comforting cup of tea, reasoning she at least deserved that one small mercy.

"How... sad," Charlene said, shaking her head in disbelief, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Jesus Christ can't save me tonight

Put on your dress, yes wear something nice

Decide on me, yeah decide on us...