Kiara and Vijay on Koffee With Karan above.

raconteur

(n.) a skilled or amusing storyteller

Being the producer who helped catapult Vijay and Kiara into stardom, Karan Johar's talk show, 'Koffee With Karan', was one of the very few they usually attended to promote any newly released works. His show was notorious for its scandalous nature, often hosting various celebrity guests and encroaching salacious topics to push the limits of their personal boundaries. This afternoon focused on presenting their jodi and promoting the upcoming release of Enlightenment. Dressed in an oversized fuchsia pink suit and matching chunky trainers, Karan removed his square-framed glasses and hooked them to the front of his shirt before smoothing over his perfectly quaffed hair and demanding a last minute touch up on his makeup.

He flamboyantly introduced this afternoon's show and his guests, "I have with us today, the young, the restless, and the always sexy, Vijay Kapoor and Kiara Mathew."

Vijay looked impressed, "Did you just make that up?"

"Yes, I did. Anything wrong in what I said?"

"No. I'm sexy, she's restless and we're both young."

Karan chuckled, "Are you saying Kiara isn't sexy?"

Vijay gave him a flat stare, "I could say she's every guy's wet dream but sexual harassment isn't exactly my thing."

Kiara groaned, shoving Vijay as he diverged to another topic, "Honestly, I feel like a loser beside her. When she steps out, the fans go wild and I hear them quoting her movies and stuff."

She covered her cheeks shyly, "Don't be modest! You had girls chasing after you and going crazy."

Karan picked up his coffee mug and took a sip after slyly interjecting, "He doesn't have girls chasing after him. From what I hear, he only has one girl."

She frowned, "Who?"

"You."

"Me?"

"No?"

"I'm chasing him?"

Vijay rolled up the sleeves of his shirt as he pointed at her heels, "She can hardly walk in those, let alone chase after me."

Karan proceeded to discuss Kiara and Vijay's on-screen chemistry, touching on their friendship and their pre-shooting rituals before finally exhausting the topic of their relationship.

They began discussing the different characters they've played in previous films as Vijay commented, "I feel like I'm quite filmy."

Kiara nodded as Karan disagreed, "No, you're not filmy."

Vijay leaned back, turning to look at her, "Karan's going to start bitching."

Karan subtly rolled his eyes, "You're like an energiser."

"But I'm so controlled now!"

"For now maybe, but do your batteries ever run out?"

"Never."

She giggled and Vijay shot her a look, "Don't laugh at me, sweetheart."

"I'm not! I'm laughing at how amazing Karan is."

He reached out to poke her dimple as she swatted his hand away and Karan raised a brow, "Do you want me to leave you alone and come back after the break?"

Vijay ignored the innuendo, pointing at the bandage on her finger, "I want to take her bandage off."

She pushed his hand away, "Hey! I'm injured."

"Barely."

"Paper cuts hurt!"

"Yeah, my dislocated shoulder hurts too."

She gasped, "Are we having a fight right now, Jay?"

"Should we start?"

Karan interrupted, "What is going on with you guys?"

Vijay huffed, "We've been around each other all day on flights or interviews and I've been waking her up–"

"You've been waking her up?"

She glared at him, "He's– can I say this?," Vijay nodded reassuringly; "he's an ass."

Karan stirred his coffee as he cheekily added, "From what I hear, he has a good one as well."

She snorted as Vijay tugged at his collar, "Why am I being treated as a commodity?"

Trying to digress the topic back to their chemistry, Karan demanded that Kiara and Vijay serenaded each other so he could decide for himself if their chemistry really was as electrifying as everyone said.

Vijay begrudgingly held out his hands as they turned to face each other and she warned, "Don't be mean!"

"I would never."

He distractedly looked at her legs and she called him out, "Eyes up here."

"They're up! Where else should I look?"

She snickered and pointed at him, "You're looking down."

Vijay shook his head tugging Kiara's hands back to him as they looked into each other's eyes and she began to sing a classic Bollywood romantic song. He leaned in and kissed her forehead when she finished and Karan cooed, smiling fondly at their interaction. He led on to the main event of the interview, 'The Rapid Fire Round', explaining the rules of the game and the prizes.

Shuffling his cue cards, he began with Vijay, "Three things no one knows about Kiara."

Vijay responded with the first thing he could think of, "Uh, she always carries Tabasco with her."

Karan gaped, "What?"

Vijay held his hands up as Kiara threw her head back and laughed before reasoning, "What can I say? I need a little spice in my life."

They laughed as he continued, "She loves watching Turkish TV shows and she is the most OCD person I've met."

Karan questioned, "Really? Like what? Does she have to colour coordinate things?"

"No, no. Like she counts in strokes of four when brushing her teeth."

Karan gave Vijay an incredulous look as he justified, "I've spent way too much time around her."

"Okay, write a matrimonial ad for Kiara."

"Read the offer documents carefully before investing."

She hit his shoulder as Karan asked the next question, "Rate Kiara out of ten quickly on the following, as a kisser."

Vijay thought for a second before answering, "Ten."

"Ten?"

He nodded as Karan continued, "Co-star."

"Seven."

"As a friend."

"A million."

She jutted out her bottom lip and hugged him as Karan swiftly moved to the next question, "Which animal comes to your mind when you think of Kiara?"

"A deer."

"Deer?"

"Shy but fierce."

She turned to look at Vijay questioningly as he scratched his chin, "I don't know, I'm bullshitting."

They burst out in fits of laughter as Karan mischievously smiled at the camera, "Kill, marry, hook-up. Kiara, Nargis, Jacqueline."

"Kill Nargis."

She reacted, "Ooh."

"Fine, I'll kill you then if you keep talking too much."

"You killed me last time anyway."

"So this time I'm saving you."

Karan grinned, disrupting their argument, "Okay, okay. So kill Nargis and then?"

"Hook-up with Jacqueline and marry Kiara."

Karan raised a brow and continued, "A rumour you would like to start about Kiara."

"She has quite a few rumours, I don't really need to start any."

Karan concluded Vijay's turn, congratulating him on his good performance, before moving on to Kiara.

She relaxed back in her seat, gesturing to Karan as he began questioning, "Kill, marry, hook-up. Vijay, Leon, Arjun."

She rubbed her hands together, pretending to stretch her muscles out before answering, "Marry Jay, hook-up with Arjun and... kill Leon."

Vijay rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably as Karan laughed maniacally, "Any particular reason for that selection?"

"Jay and I made a pact to get married if we're both still single by the time we're older than fifty."

"I wasn't talking about that choice."

She simply laughed and gestured at him to move on, "Alright, okay. Three things no one knows about Vijay."

"Uh, that he's a chronic insomniac, he can't sit through a horror film and, uh, when he gets excited he does his happy taps with his feet."

"Happy taps?"

She stood up to demonstrate, tapping her toes on the ground, as he chuckled then proceeded, "Alright, rate Vijay on the following like he did, kiss."

"No one's perfect so nine."

"Co-star."

"Six."

"Actor."

"Eight."

"And as a potential boyfriend?"

She drew in a deep breath, looking up in exasperation before truthfully answering, "Eight."

Vijay wordlessly sipped on his coffee as she flicked her hair off her shoulders, trying not to blush, and Karan coyly smiled, "Ah."

Vijay protested, "Hey, she's just being honest."

Karan placed his cue cards down, "And my last question, what is the easiest way to piss Vijay off?"

"Uh, dishonesty."

"Doesn't like that?"

"And being pretentious or insincere."

"Hah, so no wonder he has a hard time liking me."

Vijay stood up and jokingly sprawled across his lap, "You know I love you, janu*."

Kiara laughed hysterically, wiping tears from her eyes, as Vijay returned to his seat wearing a smirk and Karan readjusted himself, seeming flustered. The show cut as he promised to reveal the winner after the break, giving time for the hair and makeup team to touchup their looks. Upon returning, he revealed the winner to be Kiara and handed the prize hamper over to her as they concluded the show. The rest of the afternoon flew by quickly and before they knew it, Kiara and Vijay were having dinner with Karan, joking around and catching up on the past few months while they were in America. 

*Janu: darling/sweetheart, term of endearment

Fourth chapter doneeee! Please don't forget to vote and comment.