Chris frustrated and unable to believe Kiara above.

strikhedonia

(n.) the pleasure of being able to say "to hell with it"

Robert slumped onto the couch and snacked on some chips as he watched Chris pace back and forth, running his hands frantically through his hair. He had been panicking ever since the photos of him and Ana had leaked in the press, worrying that it created the wrong idea in peoples' heads. Robert knew that what really bothered him was if it created the wrong idea in Kiara's head.

Chris abruptly stopped and turned to face him, "I think I'm in love with Kiara."

Robert paused with the chip still held mid-air, "Kiara? As in gorgeous, stubborn, best friends with the most protective little shit Kiara?"

Raising a brow, he mumbled, "Yeah... thoughts?"

"And prayers."

"No need, he knows about us already."

"Yeah but he doesn't know it's serious yet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Scoffing, Robert leaned forwards and placed his snack bowl aside, "If you think you're just going to admit this to Vijay and leave with your face still looking that pretty then you've got another thing coming, pal."

"Hey, he might surprise you."

"Yeah, after watching his best friend bawl her eyes out for weeks over you? Somehow I doubt that."

He begun worriedly pacing again, "It's not like I need to tell him, right?"

Robert chuckled, "Have you met them? Conjoined twins have more secrets from each other than them."

"Fine. Okay. So hiding it isn't an option."

"Nope."

"I might just bite the bullet. I bet he'll appreciate honesty."

He shot up, "Wait, hold up."

"What?"

"Have you even told Kiara yet?"

"No..."

"Tell her first before you go chucking bombs at everyone else!"

Chris face-palmed himself, "That's probably smarter. See, this is why I ask you first!"

Giving him a deadpan look, he sarcastically quipped, "Oh really, not because I'm older and wiser?"

"You? Never!"

It was the night of the Golden Globe Awards and Kiara was currently focusing all her energy into preventing herself from hyperventilating as she nervously ran her hands over her dress.

Kabir leaned over to still her anxious movement and brought a hand to pat his chest, "We're golden."

Her hands shook as she copied the action, "We're golden."

Taking a deep breath, Kabir looked at Kiara expectantly and waited for her to imitate him before exhaling deeply then repeating the action. Eventually she calmed down, smiling at him gratefully as the car slowed to a stop. His ability to sense when she needed his support without being asked always astounded her. 

As soon as Kiara exited the car, cameras flashed all around her as both fans and photographers alike yelled to get her attention. She noticed a few actors and staff turn their heads as they tried to decipher what made the crowd grow impossibly loud. Pausing momentarily to adjust to the overwhelming environment, she dissected the bustling people before her and spotted the assigned publicist. He would indicate when to stop for photos or interviews, coordinating with Henry's and Vijay's entourages spaced a small distance before and behind her respectively. Maintaining her cool composure, she tried to ignore the curious or starstruck glances thrown at her by fellow actors and smiled graciously at the reporters, pacing herself as she walked down the Red Carpet. 

Choosing a risqué black gown for tonight, Kiara was dressed to impress as compliments were thrown at her from all directions. The corset bodice with silver embellishments accompanied by a voluminous train only further highlighted her petite frame but she kept things simple, bare of any jewellery save from the black onyx ring on her finger, sweeping her hair back in a messy bun that accentuated her elegant features. All in all, she felt confident and was determined to preserve this attitude for the entire night.

She caught a glimpse of Ricky Gervais in the distance, looking dapper in a suit and accessorised with sunglasses while being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest, "Do you ever feel awkwardness in the room when you call people out?"

He smiled, British accent apparent as he deadpanned, "Yeah, but I like that."

Ryan laughed in amazement, "That eggs you on!"

"I know! That's like my extreme sport."

Contradictory to the impression most people seemed to have formed in their minds around Kiara, she thoroughly enjoyed dark humour and adored Ricky's comedy so was looking forward to his hosting. She fought the urge to shut her eyes against the bright lights and blinding flashes, continuing to walk towards the entrance as the assistant scouted ahead to find her table. Her hip accidentally bumped into someone's elbow and she gasped, barely registering the person's face as she apologised profusely and checked for any damage. 

The familiar Bostonian drawl froze her movements as Kiara realised exactly who's arm she was currently holding and immediately dropped it, straightening to smile stiffly at Chris. She shone brightly in the sea of noir, unaware that she caught his attention the minute she stepped out of her car. Michelle Dockery introduced herself as she stood from her seat beside him and Kiara broke eye-contact with him to excitedly converse with the actress. He cleared his throat and reached out to touch her shoulder, bringing her attention back to him. She had the strong urge to avert her gaze but it felt like he'd be winning something if she looked away, so she held his stare.

Her tone remained as polite as it always was in company, "It's a pleasure–"

Frowning slightly at the cold reception, he interjected, "We've already met."

Michelle looked surprised, "Really? When was that?"

Something amused and dangerous played in his gaze, "Sometime last year. Remember, Kiara?"

Inventing a flimsy excuse to leave, Kiara simply side-stepped Chris and enthusiastically leaned over to squeeze Michelle's hand before brushing past him to find her seat. Being a 'superstar' in the Indian film industry and now one of the most well-acclaimed breakout stars in Hollywood, she was assigned seating in the first elevation to appease fans as this ensured she was visible on camera at all times while Vijay was seated somewhere further away from the stage. 

The two were used to award shows making these distinctions, understanding the way the film industry works, but he couldn't help the slight sting of insecurity when critics considered him of lesser importance. Of course he was proud of her success and could never envy her for something he knew she sacrificed too much to achieve so he never voiced these concerns to her. Being fully aware of this fact and unable to do anything about it, she felt a sense of helplessness but stored the worries to the back of her mind.

While it was one of the greatest honours to be seated with Helen Mirren, Kiara's social anxiety reared its ugly head at the most inopportune times and made it immensely difficult for her to be at ease. Chris noted her nervous tic as she anxiously rubbed at her wrists and wanted nothing more than to comfort her. While he couldn't for the life of him find a reason why she should be worried, he knew she was likely overthinking all the possible ways Helen was judging her. 

Having met Kiara and witnessed the warm and friendly aura she exuded, one would never have expected someone like her to have issues with confidence. She subtly glanced around to locate someone familiar, averting her gaze when they made eye-contact. She couldn't think about her poor broken heart– at least not right now, sighing in relief when she spotted Vijay making polite conversation with the gorgeous blonde actress beside him. He looked over at Kiara and raised his eyebrows, checking if she was alright, and she nodded back in reassurance. Relaxing significantly, she tentatively introduced herself to Helen and before long, they were hitting it off and sharing embarrassing stories about each other. Upon hearing the introduction music, the room quietened and faced the front as Ricky begun his welcome speech.

Over two hours into the event, the much awaited break was upon them as people dispersed to mingle with each other at separate tables and quickly head to the toilet. Kiara had spent the entire two hours sneaking longing glances at Chris from across the room as he returned them with his own, neither person willing to make the first move. Emilia ran up, hugging her from behind as she excitedly recounted her conversation with Matt LeBlanc. Being a long-time fan of the 'Friends' actor, she was ecstatic when she discovered they were seated together. Helen gushed at how adorable the two women were as they squealed and clutched onto each other excitedly and Kiara thought she may have been in shock, finding it difficult to believe she was sat beside Helen and teaming up to tease Emilia on her not-so-secret crush. 

Out of nowhere, Chris grabbed Kiara's arm and tugged her along with him as Helen let out a noise of surprise. She saw Emilia wave a dismissing arm and heard her reassuring Helen that Kiara was fine. He shoved her into a side room, stepping in and locking the door before turning to face her as his chest heaved in frustration.

Holding her in place as he asked, "Are you ready to talk?"

She gritted her teeth, "Doesn't look like I have a choice."

"You're being distant, treating me like everyone else–"

She cut him off indignantly, "How else should I treat you?"

He shushed her, running his thumb along her lips as he cupped her face, "I know you're upset and that's why you're being stubborn."

She narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her as he continued, "That's fine. I don't mind. But for how long?"

"I don't know. Giving someone my heart is the most daunting thing I could possibly think of. It's not something I give away freely!"

"But you know you can trust me, right?"

"No, not really."

"Well, you can."

"No, I can't."

"Yes, you can!"

Suddenly a door opened as Vijay stepped out of what appeared to be the toilet. He took one look at their body language and quickly brushed past them, frantically tugging at the door before resting his head against it when it refused to open.

Begrudgingly turning to face them, he whimpered, "For fuck's sake, I've been locked in with you two."

Kiara ignored him and spoke to Chris, running her hands nervously along her dress as she sighed, "You're the one that wanted more. Unfortunately you couldn't find more with me so at least do me the courtesy of giving some time and space."

While Kiara grew up in a household filled with love and witnessed the passion and adoration between her parents, losing her mother at a young age meant she also saw first-hand the heartbreak love could bring. Unknowingly becoming her father's emotional crutch had forced her to mature early every time she struggled to liven him as he reclused, slowly sinking into depression. She had to watch Samuel depend on work to survive loneliness but nevertheless, barely complained and always remained empathetic. Chris softened upon realising the issue as this revelation dawned on him.

He reiterated, "I'm not taking back what I said, Kiara. In fact, I'm backing up my words."

Vijay desperately tried to open the door again, pleading to whatever higher power existed, "Please, this is my actual nightmare."

She frowned in confusion as Chris softly continued, "Yes, I want more but I want it with you."

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck when she remained silent, "You don't know if you're ready. I understand. It's okay." 

Chris smiled woefully, leaving Kiara alone with her thoughts, and gently unlocked the door before tugging it open. Vijay gasped as he realised he was pulling at the handle without checking the lock and turned to share his revelation, stopping himself upon seeing her remain unmoving where Chris left her. Wordlessly entwining his fingers with hers, he gently pulled her behind him as they re-entered the Golden Globe Awards and took their respective seats. 

For the remaining two hours, Kiara strained to maintain her cheerful demeanour, plastering on a smile and clapping each time the cameras panned over to her until the show finally wrapped up and celebrities headed out to change before making their way to the afterparty. She remained pensive all evening, reflecting on Chris' words and considering how she truly felt. Breaking away into their changing rooms, she slipped out of the restrictive black gown while trying to keep as much glitter off her body and swapped into a more comfortable long sleeved shimmery dress. The make-up team touched up her face and let down her hair into loose curls as her stylist switched the black heels for nude ones. 

Vijay waited outside, having changed out of his blue velvet tux into a more casual denim flannel, black jeans and combat boots. He took her hand and spun her around, pecking her cheek to compliment her as she blushed. They walked out towards the car, moving against the swarm of camera flashes and excited screams as fans and paparazzi shoved against each other for a glimpse. Jimmy carefully shut the car door after them, ushering the crowd away from the front of their car as he prepared to drive. Vijay noticed her frown and playfully brought his hand to her forehead as he smoothed the wrinkle between her brows, knowing she wasn't ready to talk about what was troubling her. She smiled at him before closing her eyes and leaning her head against his shoulder in an attempt to shut out the world and be alone with her thoughts.

Arriving at the afterparty, Kiara and Vijay made their way around the room and conversed with various celebrities. She excused herself from the group, squeezing Vijay's bicep to let him know she would be back, and made a beeline for Chris as soon as she spotted him. He scrambled to keep up as she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the party into a secluded space outside. He looked at her with wide eyes, shocked that the usually infallible woman had reacted so impulsively in front of this many prying eyes.

She gently interlaced their fingers, "I want more with you, too."

He clenched his jaw, worriedly looking away, "Don't say anything you don't mean. I shouldn't have pressured you."

She laughed, stepping closer to him, "I mean I also want world peace and to cure cancer but, you know."

"Kiara, don't just–"

He opened his mouth to disagree when she spoke over him, "Sorry, humour's my defence mechanism. It's just... I've been hurt before so it's hard for me to let my guard down. I know you don't expect any promises from me but I'll give you one anyway."

Resting his hand on her waist, he smiled softly, "What do you mean?"

"I promise that no matter what happens, no matter how rough things get, no matter how scared I feel, I won't run."

He chuckled and brought her hands up to kiss them, "Even when we're old and wrinkled at eighty years old?"

She sniffed and gave his hands an angry squeeze, "One hundred."

"I swear you'll be the death of me."

"Not before you're a hundred years old."

He laughed, stopping abruptly when she stood up on her tiptoes and paused with her mouth inches away from his to whisper, "No bargains."

Covering the remaining distance, Chris pushed his lips against Kiara's and pressed her body heatedly against the wall. Warmth blossomed in her chest as they breathed heavily, battling for dominance in a fervent push and pull of kisses. He had missed her dizzying scent of peaches that had been imprinted in his mind from the day they met. She could taste their shared breath, smell his cinnamon musk, feel the thud of their hearts beating in unison as she tugged on the thick strands of his hair. His hands roamed over her curves, caressing any inch of skin he could find. 

They kissed for what felt like forever as the heat consumed them before she pulled away, gazing at him with heavy-lidded eyes. Time stood still as they stared at each other, understanding the significance of their actions but unable to bring themselves to take it back. He wordlessly led them back into the party, ignoring the hushed murmurs around the room as they returned to their respective entourages. If people hadn't noticed anything before, they definitely did now.

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