(Megumi's Point of View)

-Friends, I watched us as we changed-
-The feelings in my headspace rearranged-
-I want you more than I've wanted anyone-
-Isn't that dangerous-

The song played throughout the rink yet I stood on the ice unmoving. It had been two days since I last talked to Victor and Yuri, I had been hiding away. I wish I could tell you there was some good reason.

But honestly its because I was scared of him, scared at how he acted around me. Scared of how he made everything seem ok, making sense of my world. The madness was always twirling around my own headspace, the words of the song making more sense then they should have.

"For my theme this year I have chosen Longing, it's an emotion that every person in the world will experience or have already. I want to be able to show that emotion through my skating this year."

I sighed slightly remembering what I had thought about shortly after the press release, what I was truly longing for.

I sat at the bench waiting for Abbison to be ready to leave, my eyes staring off into space like I had so many times before. My eyes glazed over as I entered my own fantasy. I took off on the ice my mask forgotten on the shelf as the world cheered my name. MY name.

I went into my starting position looking over at the sidelines, my family were watching me with tears in their eyes. I looked over seeing my boyfriend watching me with love in his eyes, sparkling as I began my skating routine. Love. So much loved on the sidelines rooting for me.

I floated across the ice everyone watching me with awe. I did not stumble. I didn't fall or mess up my jumps like I had when I skated as Katsuki Megumi the first time around. Every moment, every glide of the ice, I executed perfectly. Just like I had when I was the Snow Leopard. Because I am that skater... but I am also me.

I ended pointed towards the group of people I always knew would be by my side. Gasping from the strenuous exercise, I made my way over to the people I loved the most. While still the audience screamed... my name. My name. Did I ever remember what it was like. Them screaming the name I had been given at birth. They used to with such fervor, how had I forgotten it.

"Meg!" My head snapped towards my manager, my mind ripping itself away from my thoughts. She watched me with guarded eyes, concern still leaked away from them.

"I've been calling for you for ten minutes, are you alright." I skated towards her putting on my skating guards.

"I need a break." I muttered grasping my shoes in one hand and my bag in the other. I couldn't skate, for some reason something inside of me just was screaming 'no!' Every time I felt like I was in the air trying to walk but couldn't.

"Meg!" I heard her voice follow after me, but I put my regular shoes on and left before she could talk me into coming back.

"Thank you Victor for the pork cutlet bowl." I muttered not sure why he had pulled me aside like this.

"Well a Leopard deserves more than a rabbit's meal."

I stared at him for a minute before breaking into silent giggles. "That's what I thought to." I muttered soft enough for only our ears.

"Really thank you." I looked down watching him from underneath my eyelashes, "It meant a lot."

"Of course, just don't tell Abbison." He held his finger to his mouth whispering a 'shh' sound and I mimicked it.

We both went our separate ways with smiles on our faces.

"Oof." I heard as I accidentally bumped into someone, I looked up seeing the person I had been avoiding. My heart leapt to my throat, pounding at the mere sight of him.

"Gomen Victor." I responded trying to maneuver around him and leave, sadly I knew that would be too easy.

"So I eat your Rabbit food and then you avoid me for two days? Next time I'll let you eat it." I could hear the smirkish smile in his voice even before I turned around to look at him.

"I can't be close to you Victor." I replied bluntly briskly walking away from him, my feet angrily walking on the ground beneath me. I could feel the heat on the back of my neck, I couldn't do this. I couldn't let him break the mask I wore. I didn't deserve it. I ran away, from everything. I hid myself and... I was ashamed of it. He stood in the light and never once hid no matter how people ridiculed him. I didn't deserve to be in that light.

"Wait a minute." He grabbed my hand stopping my progression away from him, it was warm against my wrist. He turned me to face him, the heat on the back of my neck intensifying. His ocean eyes bore into mine as he spoke his next words.

"I just can't Victor." I didn't let him speak the words he had planned on saying, even with those ocean eyes watching me. Pleading with me. They were a harsh reminder that he already had too much of a hold over me. That somehow, with the few days of me knowing him, he had already intertwined himself into my life. I needed to cut it. The roots he had grown in my heart.

"Meg." I turned away not being able to face his eyes, I would crack if I watched him for too long. Then I uttered the words that I knew would hurt him. I knew it would. But he had to stay away. I couldn't be near that radiant light of his, I didn't deserve it. So, like a pawn going for broke trying to become the queen. I struck.

"You're the reason I can't skate without a mask," I paused hardening my face and staring him down. "Did you really think we could be friends after all the pain you have caused me?"

The hold on my wrist loosened in shock his eyes widening at my words. I quickly jerked my hand away as if he had burned me with fire, rapidly I walked away from him. Hoping with everything in me that he wouldn't follow. I made it back to the house in one piece, not even blinking when Yurio yelled at me some sort of insult. He was really just grumpy cat reincarnated, and I didn't have the mental energy to fight back.

I could hear the deafening silence that followed, his shock coming off in waves that I didn't fight back. I ignored him rushing into my room and locking the door.I looked up seeing Makkachin laying on my bed his tail wagging and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. I knew I should probably move him out of my room, after all Victor would look for him eventually.But against my better judgement I walked over and curled up beside him. Sticking my face into his fluffy fur, a small sigh exiting my mouth.

"Good Dog Makka." He gave a small woof in return his tail hitting my legs happily. A small laugh escaped me, he really was an amazing dog.

"Another failed Toe loop, I don't know what happened to Katsuki Megumi but I've never seen anything like this." The announcer's voice echoed overhead tears welling up in my eyes as I tried to keep on beat.

"What could have changed within such a small amount of time? Her short program was flawless." The other announcer's voice boomed the two men both echoing the thoughts of everyone watching.

"One things for sure though," the first announcer paused slightly as I slipped out of line for my step sequence, "She's no Victor Nikiforov."

The world came to a stand still as I felt a crushing weight drop upon me. "If anything I feel bad for Victor being compared to such a rookie." The tears began to fall as I stopped skating completely.

The last thing I wanted was to hurt Victor Nikiforov. The completely last thing.

"I did a bad thing Makka." I whispered to him realizing that I had hurt him even more so today. More than I could have in the past.

"I can't let him get close Makka," I sighed slightly the same crushing feeling weighing my heart down, "He'll never forgive me for this." A small whimper echoed from my throat.

"Maybe if you apologize he might." My head popped up hearing that voice, out of all the people in the world I hadn't expected him to say that.

"Yuri?" His face softened at the sound of my voice and the sight of my tear stained face. He walked over giving Makka a small pet before sitting down beside me.

"How did you get in?" I tilted my head in confusion knowing for certain that I had locked my door to make sure no one saw me this way.

"The lock on this room's been broken for awhile now." He responded but I knew that's not why he came into my room in the first place.

"I hurt him Bro." I whispered softly and moments later I felt his hand gently patting my head.

"I know Sis," He paused slightly his hand resting on my head, "I know you're scared." He didn't speak after that for awhile, we sat in silence because he knew that's what I needed this time.

It was awhile before either of us talked again, "He's waiting for you." I turned towards him startled at the words, I waited for him to continue but he never did.

He just smiled at me with such confidence that I would do the right thing. How could he be so sure after not seeing me for so long. Yet, just like he thought, I rose to find him.

He was nowhere near or in our home, leaving only two places for me to check. I rushed to the beach wondering if perhaps he would be where he had found me days ago. Coming up empty I knew that he had to be there. Where we met.

I rushed my way to the ice skating rink, only to slow down and quietly enter the rink. Fear paralyzed me for a moment as I watched him dance on the ice without music.

Yet he made his own the way his body moved gracefully across the ice. I quickly put on my own skates rushing towards him on the ice. His music spell breaking at the sound of my rapid stomping on the ice.

"Victor!" I yelled out watching as he turned towards me surprise riddling his features. I sprung towards him knocking us both onto the ground, my arms wrapped around his waist.

"Meg?" I just held onto him tighter sobs leaving my mouth as I clenched my eyes shut. His arms wrapped around my waist pressing me close to him.

"I'm sorry for hurting you Victor... I didn't-" I tried to keep my voice leveled as I sobbed out an apology.

"I know Meg, I know." He petted my head slightly his words soft and warm, I pulled my head away from his chest to look at him.

"Maybe I will eat your rabbit food if this is how we make up." His head tilted slightly as a playful smirk settled onto his face. I felt annoyance bubble up inside of me running through my veins.

"Victor!" I growled out watching as he tried to mask a small batch of laughter for coughs. I rolled my eyes trying to hide my own smile.

"Don't push me away Meg, I don't know what this is between us..." he paused slightly a small blush settling on the tips of his ears as he glanced away from me for a moment.

"But I want to find out what it is, so please don't push me away." His eyes locked back with mine, those blue orbs showing sincerity.

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes for a moment, the feeling of his arms around my waist... the secrets we shared, the banter we had. I wanted to see where this lead, if it was something worth fighting for.

Opening my eyes with a simple breath I whispered, "Ok."