Salty Potato

I was standing over the bruised and beaten form of the traitorous Chicken Pot Pie, when the Empress walked calmly towards me. She said, "My general, I have a small issue with your plan. You see, we have almost no sugar left. I explained, "Yes, but you know, the armorsmiths found a room full of huge enchanted sugar lacquer barrels. We can laminate most of the armor. We also found a small stash of titanium strength caramel, that I suspect was created by your predecessor. The Soda Sorcerer is likely to find a counter to it, but for the time being, we will gain the upper hand. Please reconsider, Empress." I later went to my private room to have a rest. The day had been super frustrating, but I let out a laugh as I compared it to my parents' murders. My laugh faded into a dry sob. I remembered the day of my first kill. I'd just finished embroidering my first ever handkerchief. My mother, Baked Potato, praised me.

"Make this stitch a little higher, Salts."

Then an unexpected knock came from the door. She went to open it. The next moment, an ungodly shriek came. "SALTS, RUN!" My mom grabbed the scissors I'd been using and she stabbed at one of the creepy men. The one she attacked had an ax. My mother then fell to the floor, bloody and dead. The last thing I remember was an eerie feeling of calm. From then on, I had total control of my body. I took a knife from the kitchen, and swiftly attacked my mom's killer, stabbing him in the gut. I walked to the next room and saw my dad, Halite Ore, dead. I kept walking. The man I suspected to be my father's killer sat with his back to me, drinking something from a flask. I padded softly up behind him and decapitated the drunkard. The calmness faded slightly into hysterically cheerful madness. I dropped to my knees thinking. I just killed someone. Haha. Hahahahahahahaha. Oh my. I got to my feet and strolled outside like nothing was wrong. I found a burning orphanage and took a look inside. A bunch of children was crowded behind a girl, about my age, shooting minty colored magic at what I suspected to be a soda invader. I assumed she would be fine, because my parents taught me how to recognize good magic, and they told me that most people with magic would be fine in situations like this. I walked away. A Savorian Policeman stopped me and said, "Why are you stalking around the crime scene?" I responded, "My parents were just killed. I also killed their murderers. I'm looking for a new family." The weird thing about Savoria is that murdering murderers is legal, even though that would make you a murderer. A tad confusing. I found a new family, a baker family and I got a friend named Wintermint Cookie, who I recognized as the magic girl from the orphanage. She stayed with me for 10 years, and she became Empress. A week later, I became general.

A serving girl came into my room. "High General, the Empress is calling for you." I sighed and went to the throne room. Everyone in court was eating breakfast. The Empress was looking better rested than she had in months.

"Salty Potato, may you please tell me all five possible outcomes of this war?" Another thing about me: I have a future vision. Not the nonsense future vision that people claim to have. Their phony version is an absolute retelling of what will come to pass, an event that will always happen. The real deal is much more complex. Simply put, the future is like a spiderweb, millions of strands and scenarios leading to thousands of results. My future vision is powerful enough that I can pick out the top five results, but there will never be one definitive result. We must single out the best and most beneficial one, and try to follow the strand of events that lead to this event..