Sometimes when you seek for answers and no one seems to be helping, life can be the perfect person to reply back.

Hi, my name is Kabir Sharma and I am just any other average student you see. So common that you won't even stop to say "Hi". But what happened in my so unimportant life that you're reading it?

Only one way to find out.

I had just spent one month in Eleventh Science and realized that doing well in this section was not my cup of tea. Heck! I don't even drink tea. How about "Piece of cake"? Yeah, so, one month in science section made me realize that this stream is not a piece of cake.

I couldn't understand a word of what my teachers would say. I would play "Bingo" in my physics and chemistry classes with some other troubled kids like me.

Well, there was one thing that Science section had made easier for me- Headaches. I could get that as soon as my chemistry teacher would step in the classroom and sometimes even in physics classes. I became so used to of these headaches that it seemed weird when I didn't have a headache.

'I know the reason behind it.' Atharva said sipping his coffee.

'What?' Shweta asked. She was more interested in knowing what was causing me headache.

'His rejection.' Atharva said without even looking at me. 'What was her name, Kabir?'

Great, I thought. Now my best friend is bringing back the topic tried to forget. Well, my rejection was one of the biggest reasons behind my headache, but at that point it was just my studies.

'It's not her, Atharva.' I said, 'It's just my studies. I can't understand what they teach us at school.'

'Ah, I remember her name.' Atharva jumped up with a victorius smile on his face. 'Geetanjali.'

'Yes!' Shweta too jumped up and now the whole canteen was staring at us. 'I too remember now.'

'Guys, it's not her.' I said getting irritated. 'It's the studies.'

'Listen to me.' Said Shweta. 'Why don't you take tuitions for PCM?'

Tuitions. Why didn't I think of that before?

'That's a great idea.' I said, 'I'll ask my parents about it today only.'

'Yeah,' Atharva said, 'and Kabira, tell me one thing.'

'Speak.'

'Do you think it's right if I invest in stocks right now?'

'What?' I asked in confusion and Atharva started laughing.

'Dumb, tell me about Geetanjali. I totally forgot about your rejection and your broken heart.'

Shweta punched his chest and he fell down from his chair. Every student in the canteen started laughing at him and I too cracked a smile.

'You don't know what to speak?' Shweta screamed at him and then started mumbling something about a 'stupid boyfriend'.

I just finished my coffee and the bell rang.

C'mon buddy, I thought. Just one more Chemistry class, that's it.

The complete day in school I thought about Geet. We were best friends since childhood and every second I spent with her was like listening to my favorite song over and over again. But if we listen to one song again and again, we get bored and so did I.

When I was in tenth standard, I got bored with my best friend. I had developed this strange feeling for her. I was in love with Geet. Now, I didn't want her to be my best friend, I wanted her to be my girlfriend.

I proposed to her just before my tenth standard exams but I was rejected.

Geet didn't see me that way. According to her, we could only be best friends, but I knew that there was something else as well. She told me that she loved some other guy of her school and she forced me to move on.

Well, I did move on. I hadn't talked to her since a long time but that day, I actually missed her.

But then, I had a bigger problem- Headaches.

I would do anything to bring headaches to an end. So, I decided to talk to my parents about this.

***

I went back home and saw dad sitting with Rajesh uncle, his best friend, who was enjoying tea in one hand, halwa in the other and cookies in his mouth. Not his fault, everyone loves free goodies.

'Hi, uncle.' I said and looked at me with a smile. I waited him to reply back but the cookies in his mouth didn't allow him to.

'You look exhausted,' dad said, 'everything's okay, right?'

'No, nothing. Just too much studies at school.' I replied because I didn't want to talk about my headaches to my father, at least, not in front of Rajesh uncle.

With this I went in my room and soon mom too came in with my lunch.

'What's the problem?' She asked. Of course she understood, well, she is my mother.

I told her about headaches and my need for tuitions.

'Both problems are curable.' She said. 'We won't ever refuse you for tuitions and about your headaches, well, you got them from me.'

Yeah, she was right. My mother also got headaches on a daily basis but she had spectacles and medicines for her headaches and I had nothing.

'I want you to go to Ved's eye clinic this evening itself and talk to your father about tuitions right now.'

'But right now he's with Rajesh uncle. Let him leave.'

'No.' she said immediately, 'His son finished school last year. He might tell you the right place to go.'

'Alright, I'll ask him.' I said but I decided to finish my lunch first. What? You can't let the mice in your stomach take over your head, can you?

After finishing my lunch I went to the living room and saw Rajesh uncle and dad laughing on some topic.

I went towards them and stood next to the sofa.

'Um, dad?' I said and he looked at me.

'Yeah?' Dad asked.

'Dad, I want to take tuitions for Physics, Chemistry and Maths.'

'We can talk about this later.' Dad said getting irritated, 'Can't you see I'm with Rajesh?'

'Hey, I've no problems. You two can talk.' Rajesh uncle said putting the tea cup on the table- probably, his second cup of tea.

'And why are you even telling me this?' Dad asked again, 'You just tell me where I have to sign and how much I have to pay. You are the one who has to study, not me, so, you decide where to study.'

'That's the thing, dad, I don't know where to study.' I said sheepishly. 'I thought Rajesh uncle could help.'

'Hmm.' Rajesh uncle said like someone pumped new energy in him. 'My son called home tutors to teach him but they were way too expensive. After paying his tutors for two years, I thought with that amount of money I could open up an institute of myself.'

He said and both dad and he started laughing.

And the award for the poorest joke of the century goes to Mr. Rajesh Vaid.

'Okay,' dad said with his laughter dying, 'take their numbers from Rajesh and talk to them.'

I nodded and looked at Rajesh uncle but he seemed to have a better option in mind.

'I think you should go for some IIT coaching. You know the ones that train you for IIT.' Rajesh uncle said and looked at dad. 'There's nothing better than an early start. What say, Puneet?'

Dad seemed convinced and he nodded to him.

'Tomorrow is Sunday,' Rajesh uncle said again. 'Go to Kalu Sarai and search for some good institutes. If you ask me then I'll suggest you to go to FIITJEE. It has got quite a reputation and fame in the market, but there are others also. So, just go there tomorrow and I'm sure you'll find some good institute.'

Rajesh uncle had given an amazing suggestion and I realized that he had just finished his second cup of tea.

Maybe, I should also start drinking tea.

***

Sunday morning began and, as decided, I and dad set out on our quest to find a suitable tuition for me.

We had to park our car few blocks away from the main Kalu Sarai because the lanes were so narrow that they wouldn't allow even bikes to pass through them.

We had spent more than two hours in search of a "Good" coaching institute but it was never easy to walk peacefully. There were hundreds of institutes in that little place and the guards were literally pulling us in their institutes. Every other institute was offering different methods to teach us and they were ready to bring down the fees to and extreme down level just to get students admitted in their institute.

It was nearly 1 PM and we were sitting in the office of FIITJEE. Compared to the other institutes, this one seemed "Rich". The office was lavish and it was almost like I was sitting inside one of those big and beautiful offices they show in daily soaps.

'We gave AIR-1 last year and we have been quite consistent in our results.' The receptionist at FIITJEE said. 'This year we are expecting at least 7 of our students to come in top ten AIR. I've already told you about our batch structure and phase tests. Do you want me to tell you anything else, Kabir?'

Will you marry me? I actually wanted to ask this but all I could say was, 'No, thank you.'

Man, that lady was too hot to be alive. I wasn't paying any attention to what she was saying because all my focus was on her beautiful face. Maybe on the biggest reasons why these Institutes work out is because of their pretty receptionists.

'If you want to join us, you'll have to fill up this form and submit this by the day after tomorrow with thousand rupees and you'll have to give the entrance test the next Saturday, alright?'

'Yeah.' I said and she handed me over an A3 sheet- their admission form and dad stood up.

'Alright, thanks.' Dad said and we got out of their office.

'So?' I asked him.

'Not FIITJEE.' Dad said walking towards our car.

'Then what?'

'Bansal Tutorials. First, it's hell lot cheaper than FIITJEE and second, you'll get personal attention in there.'

Bansals? Yeah, I mean, they were pretty old and they had given some decent results in the past and they had some reputation. But they were nothing when you compared them to FIITJEE.

Then something struck me.

'Bansal Tutorials will be great.' I said stepping in our car.

The only reason I had a yes was because Bansals had the hottest receptionist in Kalu Sarai. Maybe, something dad had also paid attention to.

But to my relief, the tuition hunt was finally over.

***

The receptionist at Bansal Tutorials to join the very next day so that I could catch up, for I was a month late. Students here, at Bansals, had joined a month before me and had become more familiar and friendly with each other. BT had only one group for eleventh standard so I had to fit in that group only and I wasn't really good at interacting with people, so, it was not easy for me to make friends.

A month had passed and I had realized that Bansal Tutorials wasn't interested in making things easier for me. I was facing problems in understanding what was taught at school but here my problems worsened as they added IIT to the syllabus and IIT is not easy.

My result at school was also very average and my parents were not happy about that. They would throw questions at me like 'Is this the reason why you joined such an expensive coaching?' whenever I showed them my class-test papers. It wasn't their fault; they paid and just expected a return. But lies like 'I'll do better next time', were all I could return them.

Moral of the story- The thing that was supposed to make things easier for me was actually creating problems for me.

It was just another day at Bansals and I was preparing myself for two long classes ahead of me.

Oh boy, I thought. This day is going to be ugly.

'Kabir?' Someone said and I turned back. Radhika Singh was standing behind me. 'Hi!'

Oh boy, I thought. This day is going to be beautiful.

'Hi.' I replied with a smile on my face which I hoped wasn't too big.

'You mind if I sit with you?' She asked like I would refuse.

'Oh, please sit.' I said and picked up my bag which was on the next seat. 'Here.'

She sat down and said, 'Thanks. I'm sick of sitting alone.'

'Yeah, me too.'

Radhika and I had started coaching together. She too had joined with me and just like me she too was facing problems in making friends. I had never paid much attention to her before but I have to admit it, that girl was very beautiful.

'Finally,' She said, 'I have a friend here.'

'Yeah,' I said, 'I am very happy that I too have a friend here.'

Soon after mini chit-chats, the chemistry class started and our teacher, who was somewhat older than the Egyptian Pyramids, entered the classroom.

Throughout the class, he was telling us stupid things about electrons filling empty orbits or something like that only.

Well, there were some moments in the class when I would even look at the teacher. Radhika was so cute that it was impossible for me to look away from her face.

The teacher usually ignored the average and below average students. So, basically, it was okay for him that I was looking at a face way better than his face.

After one and half hours the class got over and for the first time since I had joined BT, I enjoyed the class. I and Radhika decided to go out of the classroom for some fresh air.

'All that went over my head.' I told her.

'Same pinch.' She said and pinched my arm. 'It was like he was talking in some other language or something.'

Radhika and I had started talking for like two hours ago and now we were behaving like best friends. It was a bit confusing that we didn't talk the past one month. How could I overlook such a girl?

'My parents live in Bangalore.' She said as we walked through the streets of Kalu Sarai. 'I live here with my masi and uncle.'

'So, you too want to get into an IIT?' I asked her as I wasn't really interested in listening about her family.

'Yeah.' She said but something in her voice told me she wasn't sure. 'You?'

'I'd love to get in an IIT but I don't really think I want to be an engineer.'

She looked at me and smiled.

'What happened?' I asked her.

'What's your backup plan?'

'Backup plan?'

'Yeah.' She said and continued walking. 'Students like us are forced either by our parents or by our friends or our confusion to join an IIT coaching. We all have that dream we want to chase, but instead of going after it, we come here and so, it becomes our backup plan.'

'In my case,' I said with a pinch of laughter, 'engineering is my backup plan.'

She also gave a short laugh.

'So what's your main-'

'Author.' I said interrupting her. 'I want to be an author. I want to write what makes me happy, what bothers me, what affects me in any way. I just want to write and write. But, now, I'm a grown up and I know that I'm going to end up in those stupid companies, sitting on some old, beat-up chair, waiting for my paycheck at the end of the month, Radhika.'

We were silent for a second and then I said again.

'I'll have to throw away my dreams. I will have to call my love a "Hobby" just because everyone around me wants me to be realistic. Just because it's not what every other person wants to be.'

I calmed down and looked at my watch.

'The break will be over in five minutes.' I said and she smiled at me.

'Let's go.' She said and we turned towards Bansals.

'What's your backup plan?' I asked her.

'I'll tell you.' She said and as we entered the institute.

The teacher got in the classroom five minutes after we got in.

It was Physics class and everything again went over my head.

Finally, the class got over and I and Radhika got out of that place as quickly as possible.

'Why are you going there?' Radhika asked as I turned towards an auto rickshaw.

'I have to go home, I guess.'

'I know.' She said getting irritated. 'But you only said that you live near Malviya Nagar. I too live there only. We'll walk.'

'Walk for five kilometers?' I was shocked.

'Yes! We are 16 not 60. We will walk.'

'Yes ma'am.' I saluted her and she smiled. 'Let's go.'

For the first few steps, none of us spoke, but then, I broke the silence.

'So, what's your backup plan?'

'I want to be a fashion designer.'

'Wow.' I said. 'That's uncommon.'

'Yeah,' she said, 'like an author. We're alike.'

'Yeah, we can get married, don't you think so?'

With this Radhika started laughing and pushed me back and we continued to walk towards our homes.

It was the first time in my life that walking for more than three kilometers didn't exhaust me.

***

I was extra excited for tuitions now because finally I had someone to share my problems in my tuitions. I finally had a friend at tuition. Someone like me, forced to pursue something I didn't really want to. Someone I could finally love.

It was Friday and there wasn't any tuition that day. So, I got back home late from school that day and went to bed after lunch. I didn't really want to wake up even after two hours after I had fallen asleep but my phone woke me up.

Geetanjali was calling me.

'Hello?' I said, half asleep.

'Hi, Kabir.' She said. Now I completely woke up. The softness of Geet's voice made me forget everything. It was so long since I had heard her voice. There wasn't anything more refreshing than that.

'Geet, how are you?' I asked her (I'm sure I was smiling).

'I'm not okay. How do you expect me to be okay?' she complained, 'We haven't talked in, what, two months?'

'Geet, it's not easy to be an average science student.'

'I don't know anything.'

I stayed silent.

'You call us best friends. Do you have any idea what's happening in my life?'

'Hey,' I said suddenly remembering about her crush, 'How's Kunal? Any progress with him?'

'Kabir,' Geet's voice trailed off, 'Kunal and I are no longer friends.'

'Oh no!' I said at once. Well, since I am not supposed to be hiding anything, I'll tell the truth. I was very happy to hear that. A ray of hope illuminated the darkness that was filled inside my heart. Once again I could try and make her my girlfriend.

I was going to say something else till she started laughing.

'Wait, what happened?' I asked in confusion.

'Now Kunal is my boyfriend.' My heart shattered again. The ray of hope that I was talking about, just forget it.

'That's awesome.' I said with fake excitement.

'I know.'

'When did all this happen?'

'You're the one not interested in talking to me, that's why you didn't get the news in first place. It happened a month ago.'

We talked for some more time and then my headache started. I wished her all the best for her relationship and promised to talk more. With this I slept again.

Time was passing and August had started.

It was another day at Bansals and I had reached a bit early that day. I was the only student in the classroom at that time. Alone, I sat down where I always sat with Radhika and my memories with Geet started coming back at once.

How could I be such an idiot? How could I possibly be bored with my best friend? Maybe Geet was never supposed to be my girlfriend. Maybe we were better off as just best friends. My feelings for Geet were almost over. So, I guess it was okay with me that Geet now had someone who could love her more than I ever could. Actually, everything was okay with me maybe because I had someone other than Geet to look forward to.

Soon everyone got in the classroom and finally came Radhika.

'Give me your right hand.' She ordered.

'I'm all yours.' I joked to which she narrowed her eyes.

'You can flirt later. First give me your hand.'

'Alright.' I said and lifted my right arm. 'Here.'

'Happy friendship's day.' She said and tied a friendship band on my wrist.

'Isn't friendship's day tomorrow?'

'I'm not coming tomorrow.'

'Why?' I nearly cried because I didn't want to be bored in BT without her.

'Because my parents are coming tomorrow to see me and I want to spend all the time with them tomorrow.'

'But how am I going to survive without you here?'

'This time I can't help it, Kabir. They'll be leaving on Monday and I just have tomorrow to spend with them. Just one day, Kabir and I promise I won't miss any more classes.'

'But anyways,' I said changing the topic, 'Happy friendship's day.'

'You too.' She said and offered me her hand for a handshake.

'Just a handshake? You at least deserve a hug from The Kabir Sharma.'

She started laughing.

'What? I'm not joking.'

'Well, at least not in front of the class.'

'Alright.' I said, 'We'll find many places to hug on our way to home.'

'God, what a terrible flirt you are, Kabir.'

The day got over like usual and I didn't study, as usual.

On our way back home, we were quiet. I was just looking at the wrist band that Radhika had given me.

It was a sea green colored band with "BEST FRIENDS" written over it. It was really very beautiful and I couldn't help but stare it for a very long time.

'Say something.' I said breaking the silence.

'You know,' She said, 'I was thinking, how are you still single?'

'I can't answer it. I mean you girls are responsible for that. Girls reject me all the time.'

'I don't know about any other girl but I think you're very cute.'

I tried hard not to blush.

'Cute like a teddy bear.' She said again.

'You know,' I said, 'girls hug their teddies really very tightly and I am wondering, where's my hug?'

I thought that Radhika was going to say something or laugh but she did something unexpected. She hugged me instantly.

I was shocked and so, I didn't move.

The hug just lasted for three seconds and I was still shocked.

'What?' She said, 'You're my best friend. I can hug you like that.'

'Can you do it once more?' I was mesmerized.

'Nope.'

'Please.'

'Fat chance.'

'Just one more time because I wasn't ready.'

'Keep saying.'

'Just one more time, please.'

'Did you say something?'

With this that day came to an end and yes, I realized that I was in love with Radhika.

***

Ten months had passed. Ten precious months had passed since I had joined the institution. Ten months of total waste. Those ten months were the ones I wanted to be back in my life.

My result had been the same. I was still an average student. Radhika and I were still just best friends. I had again stopped talking to Geet, maybe, because I didn't have time for two best friends and studies.

Now this chapter will be the last one in my story and the now I'm going to narrate my class in Bansal Tutorials for the last time. About the worst day in BT.

I was late that day and Radhika was already sitting in the classroom. She saw me and smiled like she always did. In a way, both of were aware about each other's feelings but I don't know why we never expressed those feelings. Anyways, when she smiled that day, I thought something was wrong. Her smile wasn't usual. It wasn't same. I knew that she wanted to tell me something- something unpleasant- so I just went casually and sat next to her.

'Hi.' I said.

'Hello.' Was her reply.

'You're okay, right?'

'Kabir,' she said in a worried tone, 'there's something I need to tell you.'

'Go ahead.'

'Kabir, last night, I called up my parents.'

'Okay.'

'And they were just-just worried about my marks in school.'

'Hey, chill, every parent scolds their child for their marks. There's nothing to be tensed about.'

'It's not that, Kabir.'

'What is it?' I asked getting nervous.

'I told them that I didn't want to be an engineer. I told them that I want to pursue my career in fashion designing, like, seriously.'

'What did they say?'

'We talked for two hours last night and...'

'And?'

'They've agreed. They said that it's better to get good marks in humanities rather than failing in science. They've agreed, Kabir. Now I can be a fashion designer.'

'That's great news, Radz.' Yeah, that's what I used to call her (c'mon, don't laugh), 'Why were you so tensed, then?'

'Well, that...'

'Say.'

'They're calling me back to Bangalore, so that I can stay with them and start humanities from eleventh, again.'

'You're going away?' I couldn't say anything else.

'I don't have any other option.' I bet she was holding back her tears.

'Well, then, congrats.' I said. My mind was forcing my heart to drop the pain and smile like I was actually happy.

'I'm sorry, Kabir.'

'Well, it doesn't matter now.' I said and looked away. I didn't want to talk to her. 'Best of luck for your new life.'

'Kabir,' she said and I was afraid that she was going to cry. 'I seriously have no other option. Plus, we'll be in contact.'

'I don't want to be in your contact.' I shouted at once.

Everyone sitting in the classroom started looking at us and then I felt angry at myself for shouting.

'I'm sorry, Radhika.' I said realizing my mistake.

'Don't talk to me.'

Well, I myself have some ego problems so I followed the order.

We didn't talk for the day. I wasn't even looking at my books or the teachers. I was just staring at the floor, thinking how badly my life would suck without Radhika.

Radhika didn't even look at me in the break and the same thing happened in the next class.

'Radhika,' I said as soon as the class got over. 'I'm sorry. I've to talk to you.'

'Please, Kabir, don't trouble yourself. I have no problems if you don't want to have me as your friend.'

'Just listen to me once.'

'Yes, I will.' She said and paused for a second, 'After all it's the last class I'm attending at BT.'

'What?' I was again shocked. She was leaving so soon.

'Yes, I'm leaving the day after tomorrow.'

'Well, then, I don't have much time, I guess.' I said. 'I just want to say I'm sorry and I'll miss you. And one more thing- You'll be an amazing fashion designer. I'm sure you'll get into NID. Best of luck.'

'Is that all?' She asked like she was expecting anything else.

My heartbeat rose. It was now or never. I had to tell her how much I loved her. Well, she knew that I loved her but still, I had to tell that to her from my mouth.

Alright, I thought. I can do it. Just say it.

'Radhika,' I said and my heartbeat rose again, 'I, well, I want to say tha-that I-I am really... blessed to have friend like you. Thank you for helping me survive eleventh standard.'

I didn't say it and Radhika also understood that I wasn't going to say it so she smiled and said, 'Thanks, Kabir, for being my best friend in this crowd. I'll miss you.'

I kept silent.

'Lately, I and my parents have realized that I was actually following a shadow. A shadow of someone else's achievements or expectations. A shadow that was eventually going to disappear when darkness would come. It's time, you too realized that. Don't waste your time here. Do something in literature. I know you'll become a great writer someday.'

'Very few people believe in me, Radz, thank you for believing in me.'

'That's what best friends are for, Kabir.' She said and held my hands. 'Promise me, you'll get over me. Promise me, you'll move on.'

'Well, that's something I'm really good at.' I tried to make her laugh but instead a tear fell out of her left eye. 'No, Rad-Radhikha, stop, else you'll make me cry. And I cry like a baby.'

With this she wiped her tears and gave a short laugh.

'Can I hug my teddy for the last time?' She asked innocently.

'No.' I said, 'It'll get tougher for me to move on, then.'

She punched me on my chest playfully and then she hugged me.

'I'll have a hard time forgetting my love for you.' She said while hugging.

'Yeah, me too.' I said forcing my tears to go back into my eyes.

'Don't worry. You'll find someone better.'

I laughed at that and said, 'Typical line of every girl.'

She too laughed with me.

'Let's go, then.' I said. 'For the last time we'll walk back home together.'

'Shut up or you'll make me cry, again. And mind you, I literally cry like a baby.'

We laughed and got out of the institute.

Like every time, we walked back home, but this time both of us were quiet. When we reached her masi's house, I wished her good luck for future and said goodbye.

'Don't worry, if you want, we can be in contact.' She said. 'Do you want my parents' phone numbers?'

'No, leave it.' I said with a smile. 'I want to move on.'

She smiled back at me and said, 'Well then it's the last time you're seeing me.'

'Most probably.'

'Goodbye, Kabir.'

'Yep, goodbye. I'll miss you.' I turned back and walked towards my home.

I was really depressed for a few days and I couldn't concentrate on any other thing. I would curse myself for not saying those three words. I needed someone to help me and that was when an old friend came back to my life.

With this, my story comes to an end and at last, I've realized that I was never in love with Radhika. I've left Bansal Tutorials and now, I just take normal, CBSE tuitions. I'm happier today and I love my life. I've better friends and I don't miss a girlfriend in my life. I guess, being single is better than being with someone.

Now with all the free time I have left in my life, I sit on my desk and take my first step towards being a writer. I write about a beautiful girl who taught me the importance of doing what I love and not what everyone expected.

Finally, I'm not following a shadow.