Chapter 38: Not Fangirling

Eric raised a hand to his cheek, stung more from the shock than from the pain of the blow.

"Tessa, what the hell?"

But Tessa wasn't looking at him anymore. She cast her eyes wildly about the room, searching for answers to the questions rushing through her head. Did he really mean it? Was he telling her the truth? Had it all just been a big game, all this time? She hadn't been talking to a real guy, after all? A guy who wanted to be with her? Just a pop star who liked to amuse himself by playing tricks on unsuspecting fans?

"So that's all this was, then," she said at last. "Just some kind of ego boost for you."

"No!" Eric's irrepressible smile was wiped away now, a distant memory, at the bitterness he heard in her voice.

"That's nice, Eric. That's really great. Glad I could be of service. How many other fan girls do you have this going on with?"

"No, no, no!" he protested. "It wasn't like that. Not at all!"

She didn't answer. She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands.

"Tessa, listen to me." Eric let go of his own cheek and touched her lightly on the shoulder, but she remained slumped over the interrogation table beside him.

Her reply came out low and muffled. He had to strain to understand. "Go away," she moaned into her hands.

"What?" he answered. "No. Wait. Tessa, let me explain. Listen. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have laughed before. Tessa. . . ."

Eric's voice trailed off. She didn't seem to be registering a word he said. Her forehead remained resting on her arms on the surface of the table. He could see her shoulders trembling, but she didn't make a sound. Shivering? From the cold? Some kind of trauma reaction? Had the shock of seeing him just pushed her over the edge?

"Tessa," he tried again. "Talk to me. You're scaring me. Are you OK?"

He could hear her mumbling into her arms again, and he bent closer to make out what she said. Her words didn't seem to be addressed to him, or to anyone in particular.

"I want the real Taylor. Where's the real Taylor?" Her shoulders began to shake even harder. "There was supposed to be a real Taylor!"

"I'm here!" he exclaimed. "Listen to me. I'm right here!"

"There was supposed to be a real Taylor!" she kept repeating. "They told me. They said so. They said there was a real Taylor."

Eric put a tentative arm around both of her shoulders. He tried to pull her toward him, but Tessa turned in her chair and pushed violently against his chest. "Don't touch me!"

"Sorry!" He let go and held up his hands. "I'm sorry. Are you OK? Should I get someone?"

She looked back at him at last, with eyes so full of disappointment, it made him want to crawl inside a deep, dark hole. "There's no real Taylor, is there?" she whispered.

"Tessa," he said softly. "I should have told you sooner. I just-I wanted to tell you face-to-face. That's all. That's why I'm here. I scheduled this whole extra show just to come here and meet you." He scooted out of his chair and squatted down beside her, forcing her to maintain eye contact when she tried to look away. "It's me," he said. "I'm real. I'm the real Taylor. Tessa, you've been talking to me for months."

"It was all just a big lie?"

"No!"

"Oh God," she said, not even trying to hide her heartbreak. "Oh God, you can't be serious."

"Tessa. Tessa, listen to me-"

"Oh my God. I said all those things about you. All my stupid theories about what was going on with Eric Thorn-"

"No," he soothed. "Is that why you're upset? Tessa, it wasn't stupid. None of it was stupid. You said a lot of incredibly sweet things about me. Things I really needed to hear."

"Yeah, I'll bet," she snapped back at him.

He blinked, momentarily stunned by her rapid change of tone.

"So that's what this all was, then?" she said. "A trick to find out what your fans really thought about you?"

"No!" He edged an inch closer again. "No, Tessa. It wasn't like that. I told you last night. I told you how I feel about you. Remember?" He reached out tentatively and took one of her hands in his. "I care about you so much," he said. "I do. I meant what I said to you. Every word. I meant it, Tessa. Please listen to what I'm saying."

"Why? You don't want to lose a fan? I'm pretty sure you have about 14 million other ones to choose from."

He shook his head in disbelief. "No," he said, searching for words that might get through to her. "No, because I care about you. Because I don't want to lose you from my life."

She snatched her hand away. "I'm not in your life!"

"Yes, you are." He gave up on making her look at him and retreated back to his chair. "This is real. Right here. Do you hear me? I am real. You are real. This connection that we have is real. When you're the only person on Earth who can make me smile anymore, that's real. That's the only thing that's real. It's everything else in my life that's fake as hell."

She didn't answer. Silent tears had started running down her face. She swiped at her eyes, but she only managed to smear her mascara even more. Eric reached into his pocket - he'd have given his life just at that moment to be able to hand her a tissue - but he came up empty.

"Tessa," he sighed. "Don't. Come on. Come here. Don't be upset."

"I don't even know who you are!"

"Yes, you do. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You know me. Even before we started talking, you saw me better than other people. You saw something was wrong. You sensed it, somehow. I'm not sure exactly how. Maybe because we were going through some of the same things. Or maybe you're just really intuitive. I don't know. But you really saw me. And you listened to me. You're the only one who even seems to listen to a single thing I say anymore. The only one, Tessa. And I listened to you too. I know you, too. I know how scared you must have been tonight."

"You have no idea."

"Tessa-"

"You have no idea how I felt today! You have no idea what I just went through!"

"OK." He backpedalled. "No, that's true. I don't. I can only imagine-"

"Did you think I would be excited now? Really? Did you think I would scream and cry and fangirl all over you, and it would all be OK?"

"I don't know. I guess I hoped-I don't know what I hoped. I guess I did think that. A little bit. And obviously I was wrong. And I'm sorry."

She leaned forward once again and rested her head in her arms. Eric longed to reach out and comfort her, but he didn't dare try to touch her again. Instead, he looked across the room toward the oversized mirror built into the opposite wall. A two-way mirror, no doubt. He'd seen enough cop shows to know that much. Were those police detectives watching right now from the other side? Did they find this little show entertaining?

He met eyes with his own reflection. Eric Thorn, in the flesh - just a little worse for the wear. He could see a dark bruise forming on his forehead where he'd hit it earlier, rolling around on the ground with that creep. And now he had a new red splotch across the opposite cheek, from where Tessa had just slapped him.

Slapped him. After all that. Really?

He took a breath and squared his shoulders. "I'm sorry you're mad, Tessa. I'm sorry you're disappointed. But I really don't think I deserved to be slapped."

She looked up in surprise at the firmness of his tone. "Sorry," she whispered.

"Thank you."

She tried fruitlessly to wipe her eyes again. "Look, I shouldn't have slapped you. I'm sure you're not a bad person." She sniffed loudly. "I'm sure any other day I'd be really excited to meet you. Really. I love your music. You know that. I'm a huge fan. It's just that today was pretty much the worst day of my life, and I'm not-I'm just not in the right frame of mind for a meet-and-greet-"

"This isn't a meet-and-greet!"

"-I just thought there was going to be someone here at the end of all of this who actually wanted to be with me."

"I do!"

"No, but like, I thought someone was going to come in here and be my boyfriend now. Someone normal. Not a celebrity. I didn't even care what he looked like. Just someone-just someone nice, who could love me, and talk to me, and be with me. That's all I wanted. But instead everyone left. Everyone just bailed on me again. Nev and Max, and even Dr. Regan-"

"What? What do you mean, she bailed on you?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm sorry I slapped you, OK? I really just want to go home now."

"Let me drive you home."

"No."

"My Ferrari's right out front!"

"The police will take me."

"I'll take you," he insisted. He shrugged off his jacket and gently draped it around her. "Wear this. It's cold outside."

She shook her head, but she clutched the jacket tight around her shoulders. They met eyes for a long moment, his own heartache reflected back in the misery he saw on her face.

So this was it, he thought. The night he'd been anticipating for so long now. Of all the times he'd played it out in his head, he'd never imagined it quite like this. Total rejection. Complete and utter disappointment. He'd been living in some kind of dream world, apparently. Some fantasy existence, where Tessa would fall into his arms, and be his girl for one magical night, and then go back to talking him to sleep over Twitter every night afterward.

But that was his fantasy, not hers. She didn't want Eric Thorn. Not in real life. Not for anything outside of music videos and fanfics and harmless celebrity gossip.

He couldn't say he blamed her. She wanted something normal. How many times had he wanted the same thing himself? A normal job. Normal friends. Normal house. Normal bills to pay. A normal girl to take out on normal dates. Someday, a normal wife. Maybe a few normal kids to drive around in their normal minivan. He could have had all of that, if he hadn't been so dead set on fame. Maybe he could have had Tessa.

"I'll just drop you off," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I won't even get out of the car. I'll let you go, OK? You can say goodbye, and walk away, and unfollow me, and go about your life. Forget I ever existed. That's fine. If that's what you really want, that's fine. But Tessa, please-"

He paused and swallowed hard against the lump that had risen to his throat.

"Please, just this once. Just let me be the guy that takes you home."

Dear Readers: What do you think? Is this how it ends, or will Tessa have a change of heart? If you're enjoying the story, please don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT, and ADD it to your public reading lists. Thank you! <3