Chapter 16: Exposed (Part 2)

Eric rolled over in bed and buried his face in the pillow. He couldn't bear to look at his phone anymore, with that ever-elongating string of unanswered tweets. He'd been trying to get through to her for hours now - ever since it happened.

He needed to stop. Let it go. Get some sleep. Forget @TessaHeartsEric ever existed.

She was just a fan, after all. Just a fan girl. A nobody. A nothing.

Why was he even upset about this?

He'd come to rely on her way too much.That was the truth. He'd known it, too, even before it happened. He'd grown too dependent on her instantaneous replies - always available to brighten his mood and take his mind off his worries. It had gotten out of hand. Even when he didn't have time to talk to her lately, he still thought about her all day long. He replayed their conversations in his head. He filed away little things he wanted to tell her and imagined her response.

He'd known in the back of his mind that he was playing with fire. He'd grown too attached, too quickly, and he'd known it would come back to bite him in the end.

But still he hadn't seen it coming. Not today. He'd been having too much fun. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt that way - so happy he couldn't wipe away his goofy grin.

Happy because he'd made her happy.

He'd just wanted to see it, that was all. Eric Thorn had followed her, and he wanted to witness her excitement. He'd wanted to see it with his own eyes, and not just in his imagination. He'd wanted a picture that he could keep - that he could save to his camera roll and go back to look at, anytime he started to forget what true happiness felt like. Just a picture. That was all he wanted.

And look what it had gotten him instead.

No, it was no use trying to sleep. He flicked his phone back on again and saw at a glance that nothing there had changed. Not that he really expected to see anything different. With a sigh, he blinked and swiped his hand across his eyes.

How had he gone from such a high to such a low in the space of a few hours? Not even a few hours. A few moments, really. The bottom had fallen out from under him, and he'd come crashing back down to Earth. He'd been like the coyote in the cartoon, following his prey - running so fast that he didn't notice the cliff looming before him until he'd run right off the edge.

Could he have avoided it, he wondered, if he'd seen the danger in time? Or had he been doomed from the moment he started following her in the first place?

His fingers sought out the message thread again now, as if the answer might be contained there. He scrolled back to find the message he'd sent her this afternoon, during the break in filming. First, he'd followed her from @EricThorn, and then he'd switched accounts to @EricThornSucks to send her a DM:

Taylor: Tessa? What happened?

Tessa: ERIC FOLLOWED ME!!!!!

Taylor: Whoa!

Tessa: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Taylor: Are you freaking out?

Tessa: IM SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taylor: That's amazing!

Tessa: OMG MY HANS AR SHAKING SPO BAD

Taylor: Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Don't have a heart attack on me now

Tessa: ok ok ok ok ok

Taylor: You're good?

Tessa: I can't stop smiling. OMG. I can't believe that just happened.

Taylor: That's awesome.

Tessa: Why did he follow me? It doesn't even make any sense!

Taylor: Well that selfie you tweeted was pretty smokin' hot :P

Tessa: OMGGGGG HE MUST HAVE SEEN IT! HE SAW MY FEET! ERIC THORN SAW MY FEET!!!!!!!

Taylor: Hahahahah you just put that together?

Tessa: I'm in shock ok? SHOCK

Taylor: Maybe you should send him a real selfie

Tessa: NOOOO!!!!!!!

Taylor: He probably followed because he wants to see more than your bunny slippers

Tessa: Shut up

Taylor: I dunno, Tessa. That would be my interpretation. You should send him a reaction shot.

Tessa: Are you insane?

Taylor: You should do it!

Tessa: Ummm no.

Taylor: Why not?

Tessa: Did you miss the part of the conversation where I have paralyzing anxiety?

Taylor: So?

Tessa: So there's a reason I only sent a picture of my feet.

Taylor: Why?

Tessa: I don't like strangers looking at me. That's one of my triggers.

Taylor: No strangers. You can DM it to him. No one else would see.

Tessa: NO WAY!

Taylor: Why not? Because he's a stranger?

Tessa: No, because he's ERIC THORN!

Taylor: He's just a person, Tessa.

Tessa: Whatever. You talk a big game but I didn't notice you tweeting any selfies at him.

Taylor: Yeah. Pretty sure I'm not his type.

Tessa: Well now that's not a very nice thing to say about yourself :(

Taylor: Just guessing. He might not be thrilled by my username either....

Tessa: Haha maybe I should DM and tell him to follow @EricThornSucks

Taylor: No, you should DM him a selfie

Tessa: Not happening

Taylor: What would your therapist say?

Tessa: Ugh I just had a session this morning. Sorry I didn't answer you before.

Taylor: Don't avoid the question, please.

Tessa: Why are you so fixated on this?

Taylor: I think it would be good. Face your fears. Isn't that what you're supposed to do?

Tessa: But I'm supposed to do it in small steps! Like this week I'm supposed to spend 5 minutes on my front porch. It's called desensitization.

Taylor: OK small steps. So maybe DM him a picture of your feet without the slippers

Tessa: Can I wear socks?

Taylor: Nope. No socks. Take it all off, baby.

Tessa: That is SO not happening.

Taylor: Hmmm. Smaller steps? Do you have some cute heels or something?

Tessa: I don't even have shoes, Taylor. They're all still packed from school.

Taylor: You never unpacked your shoes?

Tessa: What do I need shoes for? I don't leave the house.

Taylor: Maybe if you had shoes, you would leave the house.

Tessa: Pretty sure that's not the issue.

Taylor: Well I guess I know what I'm getting you for Christmas. What's your shoe size?

Tessa: 7 ½

Taylor: That's a very attractive shoe size. You have nothing to worry about.

Tessa: Thanks (I think?)

Taylor: All guys like girls with size 7 ½ feet.

Tessa: Stop it.

Taylor: Trust me. I know these things.

Tessa: Why, what's your shoe size?

Taylor: Big ugly feet. I'm like a 13.

Tessa: Taylor, don't.

Taylor: It's true!

Tessa: You shouldn't say stuff like that!

Taylor: Like what?

Tessa: Do you have body image issues?

Taylor: Uhhhh no.

Tessa: Come on. That's not even a woman's shoe size.

Eric let out a groan now as he re-read it: That's not even a woman's shoe size. That was the moment, right there - the point of no return. But even then he hadn't realized. He'd been grinning ear to ear at the time, chuckling at their conversation, and his mouth had still quivered with barely suppressed laughter as he squinted at her words.

"Was she kidding?" he'd thought to himself. "Was she actually-wait a minute. Did she actually think. . . ."

Taylor: Wait.... Tessa, you do know I'm a guy right?

She hadn't answered. Not right away. He'd felt his smile slowly ebb away as he waited. But still he hadn't understood. He'd messaged again to fill the silence.

Taylor: Ugh. So annoying! Everyone just assumes Taylor is a girl's name now. Thanks a lot, Taylor Swift.

Still nothing. No reply. He'd tried to keep his message light, but his heart had started beating like a drum at that point.

"Say something," he'd whispered to the phone. "Shit, Tessa. Say something."

Taylor: Hello? Tessa?

Taylor: Shit. I thought you knew. Are you there?

Her answer came back at last, and he'd let out a gasp of relief when he saw it. For a moment, he'd thought he might never hear another word.

Tessa: Why is a guy tweeting about Eric Thorn?

He should've answered right away. He saw that now. He should've said something - anything, just to keep her talking. But he'd paused at the time. He'd taken a moment to consider his words, not wanting to spook her any further. He must have edited and re-edited his response three times before he finally sent it.

Taylor: A guy can't be an Eric Thorn fan?

He'd hit Send, and then he'd sat staring at his phone in utter bafflement. An error message had popped up - words he'd never seen before, in all his years on Twitter.

Message Not Sent

Direct message could not be sent.

Recipient does not follow you.

He'd given the phone a little shake, as if to clear away some speck of dust. A glitch, he'd thought. An error. Some hiccup in the software. It had taken him a moment to comprehend the truth.

No. No mistake. It meant just what it said:

@TessaHeartsEric had just unfollowed.

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{Banner Image thanks to exquisitehearts}