For the next two days, giddy with excitement, the young couple planned the upcoming clandestine adventure in hushed tones.

Neither paused to wonder what had prompted this wish. Was it truly the result of a need for an adventure or was it a ruse to brush under the carpet the unrest bubbling deep in their hearts?

Hari stood in the courtyard waving as Vayu galloped away for a ride with a handful of guards. Krushanu was away for a few days to meet with some landlords and hence the king had decided to head out for some exercise early in the day.

As the beating of the hooves faded away, she turned to glance around the grounds. The labourers working on the pool were still to arrive and hence the garden was still fairly quiet.

Frowning ever so slightly, Hari turned her attention to the haweli. Since Bhanumati had withdrawn to her chamber, the atmosphere in Dasi Mahal had subtly shifted and something felt amiss. The silence which had previously felt serene now had some mournful undertones.

Hari nervously licked her lips, wondering for how long Arunika had struggled with the loss of her daughter. Did Maa-sa watch the road that I rode away on for days? Or perhaps months?? Once again, some misplaced optimism pulsated within – Maybe she still awaits my return... What if the medicines given by that travelling Vaidya-sa worked??

She sighed deeply thinking – It's going to be one of those days. For it had been one of those nights.

The previous night, halfway through, Vayu had shaken her awake. As she had looked around in a dis-oriented state, he had softly muttered "You were moaning... I suppose it was that nightmare again." As she sipped on some water, he had gently stroked her arm "Did you dream of your mother?" Nodding, she had rested her head against his chest and held him tight. In quiet reassurance, he had returned her embrace with even more force.

Some time back, looking very troubled, one morning he had demanded to know what caused the tossing and turning in her sleep at times. And she had truthfully shared that it was the trauma of losing her mother. Since then, whenever he felt that the memories were wreaking havoc in her dreams, he would pull her back to reality.

Hence, when she awoke that morning feeling on edge, blaming the remnants of the past, Hari did not read much into it.

Trying to shake off the unease still invading her senses, she took a few steps in the direction of Shera, who was sniffing around a bush at one side. Though the dog had grown tolerant of her presence, he hadn't grown fond of her. And this bothered her.

Walking closer to him, she grumbled "Isn't it enough that his whole family ignores me?! Why do you have to be so snobbish too? Shouldn't your loyalty lay with Raja-sa??"

Tilting his head to one side, Shera stared back at her for a bit before bounding away to chase Chanchal, who had just jumped off a tree.

Sighing again, she headed indoors and to Bhanumati's chamber, where Kasthuri was sitting with the older woman coaxing her to eat some fruits.

Well at least she seems to be in a good mood today... Hari mused as Kasthuri greeted her with a big smile "Come, sit with us. Hopefully, you will have better luck getting Jiji-sa to eat something."

Taking the plate, Hari settled next to the elder woman "Bhanumati Massi... I spoke to Raja-sa again yesterday and he has promised me that his men will not stop looking for Abha! You must eat to stay strong so that you can run to the gate to welcome her when she returns."

When the older woman shook her head, Hari spoke in a cajoling tone "How about I ask Neera to make you some Bajra Khich with extra ghee... the way you like it?"

Not getting a favourable response, Hari tried another tactic. Pouting, she complained "All that talk about how I remind you of Abha... you didn't mean a word. Else, why would you not listen to the daughter sitting next to you??"

The emotional blackmail worked, to some extent, as the elderly woman patted Hari's hand and then nibbled on few pieces of fruit.

But try as she may, Bhanumati couldn't see past the fact that she hadn't laid eyes on her Abha for years now and probably wouldn't ever again. Pushing the plate away, she closed her eyes to return to the memories of when her little girl frolicked around Dasi Mahal and jumped into her father's arms. Tears trickled from the corners of her sealed eyelids recalling the same moments which had once been the source of such unbridled joy.

Hari sat caressing the older woman's head for a few minutes, wondering - Did anyone wipe Maa-sa's tears too? Or did she hold them all in knowing no one around her would care. Or did father give her more post his return from the battle??

As her heart grew heavier, she quickly stood up "I have promised Tarika Jiji my assistance this morning. Kasthuri, I will send some milk with Neera. Please get her to drink at least that."

Gesturing at the heap of clothes next to her, the other young lady responded amicably "Don't worry. I plan to sit by her side all day today and mend all of these. And will keep feeding her!" and then she added expectantly "If Raja-sa does not return by evening... shall we go for a walk together??"

Nodding half-heartedly, Hari left the room to find Tarika.

* * *

It was about mid-morning. Hari was in the storeroom, now half-heartedly helping Tarika take stock of the grains and pulses, when a servant arrived "Bai-sa! Our men returning from the village have found a goat birthing at some distance. It's been a while... it seems to be having some problem."

Immediately abandoning the task at hand, she jumped in the cart with the man and rushed to the goat lying at the side of the road.

Satpal was already sitting beside a white goat which was bleating hoarsely and rolling her eyes in pain. As Hari approached, he shared, still stroking the animal's back "Bai-sa... I broke the sac since it was taking too long... the head emerged a little but there hasn't been much progress after that. It been a long time!"

After feeling the doe's belly and watching the progress for a few minutes, Hari decided that intervention was needed. First, she massaged the doe trying to push the kid out, but when that did not work, she quickly emptied her hands of all the bangles and carefully slipped one hand inside.

It took few minutes of gentle manoeuvring to get the kid in the right position. Another minute later, a mostly black coloured kid slipped out. Though extremely fatigued, the doe immediately started licking its face and nose to help it breathe easily. Grabbing one of the rags she had brought along, Hari stared cleaning the kid's body.

Couple of minutes later another kid slipped out. The third one took a little longer but pushed out eventually.

Though Hari was too focused on the birthing, the guards stood a little straighter noticing the few horses galloping towards Dasi Mahal.

* * *

A messy, petite young woman — still pretty despite being covered in amniotic fluid and some blood — with sweat beads dotting her creased forehead as she cleaned three newly birthed kids. This was Rudra's first glimpse of Harinakshi as his horse approached the trio gathered by the goat's side.

Halting his horse a few paces away, he watched in intrigue as the girl continued checking the doe to ensure it was not bleeding excessively.

Though the two men bowed to Rudra, the girl was too preoccupied with the animals and didn't pay him much attention. A minute later, Rudra continued in the direction of the Dasi Mahal.

On arriving at his destination, he was informed that Vayu was out riding but was expected to return soon.

This was his second visit to the place. Many years back, brimming with curiosity, Agni and he had once visited the place in disguise, as part of a group of guards delivering the monthly rations. Contrary to their expectations, the young lads had found the haweli and its habitants rather mundane. Neither had caught sight of any exotic dancers and had gone back rather disillusioned with the place.

Now years later, though he still couldn't identify with the fascination this place seemed to hold over some men of his family, he could sort of see the appeal it might hold. Quiet and languid, it felt like a refuge from the hectic pace of the main palace. The few guards who had been loitering around the courtyard greeted him and then hastened away, trying to appear busier than they were. The sounds of the labourers digging towards the backyard felt jarring and out of place.

Sensing the familiar presence, Shera ran barking to him and sloppily licked his hands. After playing with the dog for a few minutes, Rudra took a leisurely stroll in the garden.

Oh... so these are the precious gifts he had sent for her... Amused, he watched the chickens clucking around the yard. And then spent some time studying the progress of the pool being built. Since he had returned from his maternal uncle's place a few days back, he had heard much of this new project that was keeping Vayu away.

Laughing internally at Vayu's tactics, Rudra headed inside to await him in his temporary office.

When a maid served him some sherbet, he enquired "Is the lady of the house out with Raja-sa too?"

Kanta timidly shook her head "No, she was called away to help a goat with birthing."

So, it was definitely her by the roadside. Rudra's speculation was confirmed.

Few minutes later, a commotion was heard in the courtyard. Looking out of the window, he saw Harinakshi had returned with the animals in the cart. Jumping out of the cart, she instructed the guards to settle the new mother and her young ones into one of the pens built for her goats till the owner was located and came by to collect his animals.

Rudra noticed the maid rush to her mistress and assumed that she must have informed Harinakshi of his arrival for the young woman quickly hurried indoors.

Some twenty-odd minutes later, the sound of hooves in the courtyard announced Vayu's return. And a minute later, rushing into the office, he warmly embraced Rudra "Bhai-sa! How are you? Hope your visit to your uncles was good. Has Kaki-sa returned with you as well?"

"Everyone is well and has sent you their best wishes. Maa-sa decided to stay back for some time." Rudra replied and went on to share the news of all his cousins in greater detail.

After about ten minutes of sharing pleasantries, the older man cleared his throat "Vayu, you have been summoned back to the palace."

Raising a brow, Vayu asked "So, you aren't here for just some idle chit-chat as my brother? But on Maa-sa's behest??"

"What did you expect? Or were you planning to return only after you swam in your new pool? Whenever it is ready?!" Rudra laughed humourlessly.

Not meeting Rudra's eye, Vayu muttered "I will come back in another week or so... I have something planned."

"Well, change your plans." Rudra deadpanned.

Vayu's entire demeanour changed at the tone. He sharply demanded "And since when have you started ordering your king?"

Shaking his head, Rudra spoke in a conciliatory tone "I am just the messenger. And unfortunately, I have come here to convey what I suspect will be unpleasant news."

When Vayu asked, "Is Maa-sa unwell?", the other man shared sounding almost apologetic "No, she is fine. In fact, much happier than what she has been these past few months. Vayu, we have received word from Udaygadh. Your wedding date has been set for two months from now."

"Two months... Why?! It wasn't supposed to happen till she turned sixteen. How can Maa-sa make such a big decision without consulting me?!" Vayu exclaimed, taken aback by the announcement.

Rudra shrugged "I don't know what exactly has prompted this change in plans. But apparently there is some extremely auspicious muhuraat coming up. Rajmata-sa and Samidha's parents have agreed that though the wedding rituals will take place now, she will be sent to Sudhagadh after celebrating her next birthday in Udaygadh."

The crashing of some silver near the door had them both briskly turning around.

Freshly bathed and attired in one of her nicer yellow outfits, a very pale faced and stunned Harinakshi stood in the door. The bowls of kheer that she had brought along to offer Rudra, along with her greetings, had slid off the tray and now lay splattered on the floor. The silver tray in her hands was still trembling. Kanta was hovering in the background with another tray with silver goblets of sherbet.

One glance at her and Vayu knew that she had heard that the wedding was preponed.

"Harinakshi... I had no idea... that Maa-sa was planning this. I will talk to her. And I will write to Samidha too." Vayu rushed to her side.

Rudra watched Vayu pull the trembling girl into a hug and tenderly kiss her forehead as she fought hard to keep her expressions stoic. After resting her head against Vayu's chest for just a few moments, she drew back.

Swallowing the tightness at the back of her throat, she bowed to Rudra and spoke in a flat voice "Khamma Ghanni, Bhai-sa. My apologies for such a dismal welcome. Please forgive this mess. I will have it cleaned and send you some Badam kheer. I remembered Raja-sa telling me that it is your favourite."

"Are you okay?" Vayu stopped her as she turned to leave the room. Silently nodding, she pulled her hand away.

Though she hadn't uttered a single word about the wedding, Rudra noted her eyes could not hide the pain surging there. So, she knows the art of putting duty before her personal pain. Maybe she does have what it takes to become a king's wife... Alas, it does not change her destiny.

Post Harinakshi's exit, Vayu paced around the chamber like a raging bull for a few minutes and then announced "Inform Maa-sa, and everyone else, that I will return to the palace only when I am ready. Not a single minute before that! You may leave now. I must go to her."

Deciding it was prudent to leave Vayu to absorb the shock and come to terms with the perceived betrayal from his mother, Rudra nodded "I will send word if anything changes. But don't take too long. And yes, I am leaving for Umbrali tomorrow to lead the yearly exercise. Will be back in two fortnights."

Without bothering to reply, Vayu stormed out of the room.

Rudra sighed deeply at the futility of the situation. Not that he didn't sympathise with Vayu and Harinakshi's hurting hearts, for their deep attachment to each other was clear even from that brief interaction he had witnessed between the couple. But he still struggled to understand why people failed at avoiding entanglements of the heart. Why the pleasure of the crown and power wasn't enough?

Since his childhood, he had often overheard his parents discussing Vayu's father's philandering and the unnecessary strain it put on the relationship between the King and Queen. And how often that friction had impacted the running of the kingdom too.

Unlike his brother, Malhar had stayed loyal to his wife and impressed upon Rudra the wisdom of that choice. Along with other valuable lessons that Malhar taught him related to politics and diplomacy, Rudra had grasped this lesson too and stayed away from what he had come to believe as an unnecessary complication - the notion of romance and love. And he now pitied his cousin for not being able to avoid it. If only, Vayu had understood that he was not free to choose a partner out of love. Why did he wear his heart on his sleeve when he would have been better of locking it in a chest and throwing the key off into the river?! Or even better shipping the chest off to Udaygadh.

A maid appeared at the door and started cleaning the floor. Glancing at the kheer, Rudra grimaced – What a waste of some perfectly good Badam Kheer! But how sweet of her to remember...

Stepping around the servant, he walked away.

* * *

On rushing to her chamber, Vayu found Harinakshi standing at the window, gloomily staring into nothing.

Hugging her from behind, he tried to assure her "I will talk to Maa-sa. They cannot make such a big decision about my life without consulting me!"

After staying eerily quiet and rigid in his arms for a long time, she responded in a dull voice "All your mother is doing is slightly hastening the inevitable. Whether the wedding takes place now or few months later... What would be the point of kicking up a fuss??" Her voice caught when she added "I have already prepared myself... you should too."

Jerking her around, he demanded "How can you be so accepting of another woman in my life?!"

"Would you feel better if I rage and rant... break a few mirrors... or perhaps this chura... or maybe threaten to end my life?? Forgive me... but I am not one of those women who are prone to indulge in hysterics." she stated meeting his eye.

Gently caressing his cheek, she muttered "Raja-sa, I have promised to never abandon you and I will keep my word. But I also meant it when I assured you that I will not begrudge or question what you must do as the King of Sudhagadh."

Once again, she was being rational and saying things that ought to ease his worries and yet her words were not the balm his heart was seeking.

As she wordlessly rested her head against his heart, Vayu wished she had indulged in hysterics. For then the broken mirrors or bangles would have assured him that the news felt like a jagged piece of glass lodged in her heart too, just like his.

Love - a single emotion but full of so many contradictions.

Whilst Vayu and Hari tried to dull the sharp pain in their hearts, Kanta was busy updating the rest of Dasi Mahal with the news of Raja-sa's fast-approaching nuptials with Udaygadh.

The moment Hari stepped downstairs, she realised, based on the pitiful glances cast her way, that everyone knew. As Tarika tsked and fretted over the latest development along with predicting dire outcomes, Hari fidgeted with the ends of her odhani, wondering if her own hopes that Raja-sa's feelings for her would not change post the wedding were unrealistic. The equanimity with which she had tried to conduct herself in front of Vayu started wavering, and her fingers fumbled while trying to carry out the simplest of tasks.

Standing at some distance, intently watching Hari, Kasthuri sighed – How I wish I could replace that frown with one of your merry smiles. If it were up to me, I would banish the melancholy from your eyes, and they would always sparkle!

A small selfish part of her was slightly pleased thinking that once Vayu married Samidha, he wouldn't be able to visit Dasi Mahal as often, and in turn she would be able to claim more of Hari's time and company. But the other bigger and more loving part was anguished at the thought of having to witness the girl, who had come to mean the world to her, in pain. For it was clear as day that without Vayu's love, Hari's heart would wilt.

A sense of bitter helplessness, tinged with guilt, clung to Kasthuri.

Though her beloved was hurting, she couldn't rush forward to gather her in her arms, to tenderly brush all the hurt away. Her love, stripped of all power, was doomed to be banished to a land without words.

And though silent, the guilt still shrieked. For her heart belonged to another woman.

It hadn't always been this way for her. The brightness of love eclipsed by the shame that it would not be deemed right. Every time her heartbeats drummed faster; her face flushed only with bashfulness. It was some time before it was tinged with some mortification too.

She had been about twelve, when she first realised that her heart spoke a language the world around didn't understand.

A new trader had moved into their village. As he was well-off, his family had been deemed worthy of socialising with and the children started spending evenings together. A new set of playmates was reason enough for much excitement for all the children in her family. But Kasthuri's heart had started humming a very new tune after meeting Ragini, the trader's fifteen-year-old daughter. She had felt enchanted by everything about Ragini – her sudden spurts of laughter, the way she fearlessly crossed the stream without a pause, her expertise at hopscotch, her fondness for all things tangy.

Days seemed to stretch endlessly for Kasthuri as she waited for late afternoons when the elders, shouting many instructions, would allow them to scamper away for adventures along the stream. And on most days, Kasthuri would squirrel away her portion of sweet and sour delights and offer to share them with Ragini. Delighted to have found such a loving friend, Ragini too would return her favour by choosing Kasthuri as her teammate.

Then one day, as they were trying to climb up the tricky part of a hill, Ragini offered her hand. And giddy with the euphoria of adolescent love, Kasthuri took it.

Over the next couple of months, as Kasthuri's attachment grew stronger, she struggled to make sense of these new feelings and the decision of if and how to express them.

One day, while playing indoors with their dolls, she felt like an opportunity had presented itself. Gathering a lot of courage, she had shyly expressed the wish to wed her favourite doll to Ragini's doll.

Confounded, Ragini had muttered "But they are both girls... I want to marry mine to Sita's Gudda." The reactions from everyone around had spanned a wide range; confusion, laughing uncontrollably, sniggering, calling her a fool.

When Kasthuri had challenged "But why can't they marry and have a happy life together?? I think they love each other!", her elder sister had dismissed the idea "Don't be stupid! Have you ever been to any wedding with two brides and no groom? Your doll must marry my soldier doll. If you are not going to play nice... don't play with us!"

Sulking, Kasthuri had approached her grandmother, who mostly sat on a mat on the porch with a string of Rudrakshas "Sona Jiji said I can't play with all of them... just because I don't want to marry my gudiya to her stupid gudda! What is so great about him anyways?? Ragini's gudiya is so pretty, and kind too! I want to marry my gudiya to her gudiya."

"Where did you get such an absurd idea?!" the old woman had first stared at her like she had sprouted horns and then burst out laughing till tears slipped from the corner of her eyes "Should we find you a bride when you are to be married?? Imagine that! Everyone will think your entire family has gone mad."

Even as Kasthuri had wondered why people would consider them mad, her aunts had joined in the teasing. Seeing her tear up, Kasthuri's mother had pulled her aside and tilting her chin up had tried to explain "On getting married, the gods bless a husband and wife with children. If you want your Gudiya to have a beautiful, happy family... she has to marry a Gudda! And don't say such silly things again, else everyone will tease you, okay? Go play now." Disappointed, Kasthuri had abandoned the idea of getting her doll married and had instead run off to play with the new-born calf.

That day, a doubt crept in her tender heart - If the idea of two female dolls loving each other was so absurd, were her feelings for Ragini just as ridiculous? And who wants the world to ridicule them. So, she learned to cover her love with layers of friendly affection.

A year later, Ragini was married off. As Kasthuri sobbed uncontrollably during the bidai, some elders smiled indulgently, muttering something about "The beauty of childhood friendship...", while others teased her "Save some tears... you will need them in a couple of years when you bid us goodbye with your husband!"

Over the next few years, Kasthuri slowly got over her heartbreak, but also realised that the idea of playing house with a man revolted her. Her father's sudden passing and some financial struggles that befell the family resulted in her marriage getting deprioritised for some time, but it still felt like a sword hanging over her head.

Hence, when the opportunity to do right by both her family and herself, she happily accepted the Chura from the King of Sudhagadh. Dasi Mahal had proved to be the sanctuary she had needed.

She had been ready to settle for a simple life, devoid of any unwarranted male attention, when one day, while shopping in the local market, her heart had fluttered again. This time, it was a bangle seller's daughter. For months, Kasthuri frequented the stall and bought bangles in every colour and design, while admiring the dusky, big-eyed beauty who assisted her father. Until history repeated and this young woman got married off too — leaving behind Kasthuri to nurse her heart again. Only, this time, she couldn't even openly shed any tears.

A few years passed and Kasthuri was determined to evade any more heartbreak. But her resolve wavered when Harinakshi entered, first her home and then steadily her heart too. Though well aware that Hari's arrival didn't herald the start of a new love-filled life for her, Kasthuri still rejoiced in the fact that the young woman was here to stay forever! And at least when the king wasn't around, she could enjoy Hari's company and warm friendship.

Hence, seeing the woman she had come to love so dispirited troubled Kasthuri too.

Though I cannot do more, I can be the friend she needs. Picking up the basket that she had just filled from the garden, Kasthuri called "Harinakshi! Look! I have got you some tamarind and amla. Come have a taste."

Glad for the distraction, feigning more excitement than she felt, Harinakshi smiled back "Come, let's go sit on the swings and gobble them all! I will ask Neera to bring us some sherbet too."

* * *

(Hi Dearies,

Hope you all are doing great.

Do share your thoughts on this chapter. Were you surprised by the insight into Kasthuri's character? Or had you already guessed??

A big chunk of the next chapter is almost ready as I decided to rearrange some events and inserted a new scene above. So am hoping to share the next chapter in a week or so.

Take care all of you!

Lots of love, May)