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As if the turmoil created by his revelations from the night before was not enough, Harinakshi was presented by a new challenge the next day.

When the platoon stopped for lunch, Kanta whispered urgently "Hari, I have to go into confinement!" As Hari nodded in understanding, the other woman asked "What will you do now?? You cannot keep sharing the tent with me and still go to Raja-sa... nor can I cook for you..."

Assuring Kanta that she could tackle the cooking, Hari proceeded with cooking their flatbreads that afternoon. The result, though not very appetising, was edible. After handing Kanta her share of the food, she sat with the boys and Hanuman, nibbling on hers. Watching Hanuman grow stronger and plumper by the day was a constant source of chatter and delight for his caretakers.

Vayu had partaken his meal accompanied by Krushanu and Amiraj that noon. Noting he had finished his meal, Hari walked over. Standing at some distance, she greeted him a little hesitantly "Khamma Ghani, Raja-sa..."

When he waved her over, taking a couple of steps closer, she muttered "If I may speak to you in private for a few minutes?"

"Of course. Come, walk with me to the water." He moved in the direction of the nearby well. After they were out of everyone's earshot, she started tentatively "Raja-sa... I cannot come to you for the next five days... Kanta is in confinement."

He was surprised "What does that have to do with you coming to me?? She was moving around the camp when you were in confinement."

"Yes... but it wouldn't be considered right for me to share the tent and bullock cart with her and still come to yours for you-know-what..." she mumbled.

As one of the soldiers drew some water from the well, Vayu was thinking - Maintaining distance while she was in confinement is understandable, but even when her companion is in confinement??

Splashing some water on his face and neck, he exclaimed "Spending half the time away from me because somebody is in confinement... that's extreme! Find a way."

She was stumped. Find a way?? How am I supposed to find a way?? It's not like Kanta or I can do something to go into confinement together!

Realising he was already heading back, she hurried after him. After trying to come up with a solution for a minute or so, she frowned, muttering "Though it might get a bit cramped in there, maybe I can ride with the boys in their cart... and request for another tent to be set up for me..."

He nodded "Yes, ride with the boys. Ask them to move some of the supplies from that cart to some other. But no need to set up a separate tent. You can stay in mine."

Hari stumbled over her own feet "Stay in yours?! How can I?? It wouldn't be considered proper... and we-"

Vayu tried to wave away her objections "Nothing improper in that. We are on the road the whole day anyways! You are already spending part of the night there. Just spend the remaining part too."

For a moment his proposal seemed sensible, till it dawned on her what it would entail. Where will I sleep? Will he expect me to share his bed?? And when one of us must change, what will the other do? Leave the tent or close our eyes? And what if he doesn't really close his eyes?!

"No! That wouldn't do. Spending an hour there is different... staying there with you for the night... I can't do that!" she adamantly refused.

Vayu almost flinched hearing her refusal.

His jaw clenched as he called over the officer who looked after the encampment activities "While Kanta is in confinement, Harinakshi will ride with Bhikaji's boys. Make space for her in that cart. And set up a separate tent for her for the time being." 

As the officer bowed "Yes, Raja-sa" and left, Vayu addressed her stiffly "Let me know if you have any other requests." Even as she was still thanking him, he walked away without a backward glance.

Travelling with Kamal, Madho and Hanuman was much more fun than sharing the cart with Kanta, and the hours flew by. Hari taught them a few songs from her childhood, while Madho shared some gossip he had picked up from around the camp. And Kamal spun new imaginary adventures for their Hanuman.

That day, the platoon stayed on the road till almost sundown. After being on the move for the last few weeks, Hari had learnt that the time of stopping in the day varied based on the location chosen for the campsite which in turn depended on the source of water in that area. The campsite that evening was located on top of a steep incline, at some distance from a small lake below.

As soon as they disembarked, Hari hastened to check on Kanta. After tasking some guy with refilling their water bags from the lake, the women headed to the bushes.

As soon as they returned to the camp, an attendant informed Hari "Bai-sa, your luggage has been placed in the tent setup next to Raja-sa's." She enquired "Is he in his tent?" He shook his head "No, Raja-sa has gone down to the lake." Nodding, she proceeded to hers to freshen up.

While dinner was being cooked, Hari spent some time helping Shardul and another guy remove any pebbles stuck in the hooves of the oxen. Bhikaji cooked some simple khichadi that night. And most of the men, tired from a long walk that day, retired early to bed.

Hari too returned to her tent and attempted to sleep. But sleep did not come any time soon, and often her heartbeats would wobble a little remembering Raja-sa's sullen expression when she had thwarted the idea to share his tent. It was clear that she had displeased him. He had not spoken a word to her since, and nor summoned her to his tent that night.

She bemoaned the fact that there had been no opportunity to train with Bhairon that day; at least then she would have probably fallen asleep of fatigue.

Her restlessness only grew over the next three days. Vayu acknowledged her presence with a silent nod whenever they happened to be around each other and she greeted him, but he did not make any effort to especially seek her company. 

Every now and then her thoughts would return to what he had shared during her last visit to his tent. Since learning how both had been scarred by the same war, Hari had started feeling like their fates were tied long before they had met. She wondered - Did fate place me in that kotha where he arrived as the Raja of Sudhagadh? And if so, my fleeing home... was that me running away from an ill-fated match? Or running towards him?

While she wrestled with these new dilemmas, Hari tried to occupy her time in the evenings helping Devrat or Shardul. When they camped early, she spent some time with Bhairon to stay on track with her training. And on other days she practised by herself in her tent. But Vayu's cold-shoulder seemed to have robbed her of the ability to delight in these simple pleasures.

Finally at noon on the fourth day, seeing that he was eating by himself, she approached him "Khamma Ghani, Raja-sa."

He nodded and asked, "Do you need anything?"

When she muttered "No..." he questioned with a sardonic look "So, what brings you here?"

Feeling uncertain, she mumbled "I thought to share this chutney with you... it is one of my favourites." Smiling nervously, she rushed on "Kaki makes it with some secret ingredient that she refuses to disclose! There is only some left now. I brought it over for you."

Gesturing at his plate, he responded "As you can see there is already much on my plate. I don't need more food."

Wringing her hands, she stepped closer "Raja-sa, have I done something to displease you?"

He quirked a brow "And why would you think that??"

She fumbled with the reply "I feel that, though it was not my intention, I may have upset you! You haven't spoken to me these past few days... not even enquired about... Hanuman."

"Enquire about that bird?? Do you not realise that I have a hundred and one other, more important things to do?! And what do you care about my pleasure or displeasure? You are getting all you need from me, right?!" his outburst startled her.

Not able to come up with a response, she left after muttering "Apologies for disturbing your meal."

Vayu watched her walk away from the corner of his eye with unease. She had pricked more than his ego when she had refused to share his tent even for a few nights. It had felt like she had questioned his integrity, his word. Even after he had assured her that he would never force himself on her, she did not trust him to control his desires. And even after he had laid his heart bare in front of her. Vayu's heart! It felt like none of him mattered to her, neither Raja-sa or Vayu.

Anger flared within him. This woman, who he had abandoned his pledge to his mother for, didn't consider him trustworthy! The impending return to Sudhagadh and the confrontation that would ensue with his mother was already playing  heavily on his mind.

His mind drifted to the past.

A few weeks after he had come to the throne, his mother had visited him in his private chamber.

After some conversations about how he was easing into his role, she had uttered "Vayu, it is a king's duty to provide a model of good behaviour. One which considers the well-being of his subjects. I don't think it's right to claim kinship with the Suryavanshi's and not try to emulate the ideals of this great linage. I feel, the kings of this dynasty have lost their way." As Vayu wondered what she was alluding to, she continued "And remember among your subjects are all the women of Sudhagadh. Their pride, their joy should matter! Kings tend to forget... or maybe just choose to overlook their duty in this regard."

Vayu had cluelessly muttered "Maa-sa, I do not follow you. Do you wish for more charities to be set up to help the helpless women in our kingdom? Perhaps the orphaned girls or widows?? If so, please do not worry. We understand that many men have been lost in this war and it is the royal treasury's responsibility to provide for them..."

Vaidehi had nodded "That's good... but that's not what I wish to discuss."

Looking a little uncomfortable, she had continued in a low voice "You are now old enough to understand what I am about to say. Few years back I had spoken on this matter with your brother too. But alas... he is lost to us and his promises too."

"Maa-sa, please tell me what you would like me to do!"

His mother had struggled to find the appropriate words "I want you to observe restraint in certain areas of your life... that is... when it comes to relationships with women. To restrict physical intimacy to just your marital bed."

The young boy had gone red with embarrassment and stuttered "Yes... Maa-sa."

Relived that she had done her bit, Vaidehi had left. But Vayu had been embroiled in turmoil.

At the start of the war, while they were still stationed outside the city and organising the platoons to march in different directions, one night his Kaka-sa had entered his tent accompanied by a prostitute.

Seeing Vayu's startled expression, the older man had airily declared "Don't look so scared! She is here to make sure that you are a man before you march out to the battlefield. Afterall we can't expect a boy to lead the army and valiantly face enemy and death!"

Then winking he had addressed the woman, "Make sure if he dies on the battlefield, he has already experienced the best of the earthly pleasures!"

The woman had chuckled "Don't worry Thakur-sa I will give him a glimpse of heaven while he is here."

That night, the older lady had introduced a shy Vayu to pleasures that he had so far been completely oblivious to. The next night too, the woman had returned to his tent to further his knowledge. 

The day after, when Vayu was about to leave for the western border with the platoons under his command, his uncle had smirked "Do you know why I sent that woman to your tent? Because it is believed that once a man has known this worldly pleasure, his will to live grows tenfold. The prospect of returning to a woman's passionate embrace forces men to fight like very few other things!"

Though his victory in the ensuing battle had nothing to do with the two nights of passion, they had indeed played a part in his perception and awareness of himself as a man.

So, when his mother asked him to abstain from indulging in such dalliances Vayu had been taken aback. Too embarrassed to admit that he had already given in to the temptation, he had nodded along. After some deliberation that night, he had decided that though the past couldn't be erased, he would abide by his mother's wishes in the future.

Considering the crown had left him buried under many responsibilities and a huge workload, not indulging in such activities had not been a huge challenge for him.

Till he laid eyes on Harinakshi.

She had undone him in ways beyond his comprehension. After compelling his heart to discard the expectation set forth by his mother, she refused to open her heart to him. And this was turning into a point of contention between his head and heart.

* * *

Two more days passed. Kanta finished her confinement and Hari returned to share the tent with her.

After watching Harinakshi's lack of interactions with Raja-sa over the following day, Kanta interrogated her "Is something wrong between you two? Why does he not talk to you anymore? And has he stopped summoning you to his tent?"

For a moment, Hari considered denial, but then mumbled "I think he is cross at me."

Kanta squinted "And why is that? Did you quarrel with him?"

Hari huffed "Why do you always assume that I must have quarrelled?!"

The other woman scowled "Only because I know you. Ok, if not that, then what has happened?"

After gnawing on her lower lip for a bit, Hari replied "I refused to move into his tent... while you were in confinement."

Eyes almost popping out, Kanta interrupted "You refused him?! But why? If he wishes to spend more time with you... it's a good thing!"

Not sure how to share her dilemma, especially considering Kanta believed them to be physically intimate, Hari muttered vaguely "Just some time is okay... But I can't for all night..."

Seemingly comprehending the problem, Kanta reached out to clasp the young girl's hand and spoke in a softer tone "Does he ask you to pleasure him in ways that you do not enjoy?? Hari... you must learn to bear some discomfort at times... to indulge his demands."

Hari retorted "O ho... why do you always assume the worst in every situation?! He is not like that! He is good and kind... and respectful towards me."

Kanta burst out laughing "Respectful towards you?! That's the most absurd thing I have heard. Are you saying your Raja-sa goes around paying respect to all his women? How many did you say he keeps in that Dasi-Mahal? Can you imagine him visiting that place to bow respectfully in front of all two dozen of them??"

Greatly irked by Kanta's words, Hari stood up and walked away. Why did I have to tell her about Dasi-Mahal? Or how many women he keeps there??

She scoffed thinking how the idea of him bowing to any of those women was completely ludicrous! But then, as the thought of him doing anything else with them crossed her mind... Harinakshi's gut twisted as if pierced by some invisible dagger.

Her eyes drifted to where he stood in discussion with Amiraj. If he does not spare me a minute even now... what are the chances he will ever wish to spend any time with me when there are so many waiting for him in Dasi Mahal?

She tried to remind herself – Well, he did agree that I can keep all the animals I wish!

But despite trying to dream of all the animals she would surround herself with, she was filled with a strange listlessness. When alone with Hanuman, she muttered dispiritedly "He has already forgotten both of us... says he has many more important things to do..."

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But this claim is dubious, because people hardly ever suddenly develop loving feelings for someone just because they aren't around! It is more likely to bring to the fore the intensity of existing feelings. And for Hari, it was not his absence but his emotional withdrawal that hastened the realisation of his steadily growing importance in her little world.

* * *

The next evening, they camped a little early.

Kanta conveyed "Satpal said some messenger has arrived for Raja-sa." This news wasn't out of the ordinary, as Harinakshi had realised that he was a very busy man. Always buried under work, he rarely takes some time out for himself... yes, that must be it... he hasn't had time for me because of his work...

Recalling parts of their last conversation in his tent, when he had spoken of his family, Harinakshi sat absentmindedly nodding at something that Kamal was sharing. Does he have any other siblings? I wonder how his mother is...if she rules in his absence, she must be a strong lady...

"Raja-sa has called you to his tent." an attendant arrived. She sat stunned for a moment and then sprang to her feet.

Looks like he has finally decided to take a break! Maybe I should tell him that I would like to go for walk along the river... It will be good for him too. And we can chat... Maybe I can listen while he shares if something is troubling him. Her feet hastened as the anticipation grew.

This time when the guard bowed, she entered without insisting on being announced. The greeting was uttered in a sweet, eager voice "Khamma Ghani, Raja-sa".

Vayu was fleetingly nonplussed, noting something was different about her. On the surface, she looked as she always did in the dark grab. But something had changed. Do her eyes shine brighter today? Or maybe her cheeks seem rosier? Or is it the absence of a scowl??

But the scowl soon returned as Hari noted the other man sitting at the table with him. She awkwardly greeted "Khamma Ghani, Krushanu-sa... Raja-sa, should I come back later??"

Rising from his chair, Vayu replied "No, it's okay. Come, I wanted to give you this before I left." Picking up something from an open chest, he forwarded his hand "I got it made for you." As she studied the leather object in his hand, he explained "It's the belt for the dagger to wear under your garments. It is made from softened leather and can be tied as per your comfort. And this slot here... should be just right to hold the sheath in place. Try it and let me know if it needs any adjustments." Reading some confusion in her eyes, he asked "Is it not clear??"

"Are you going somewhere?? You said you wanted to give it before you left..." She inquired

He nodded "Yes, I will be away from the camp for few days. To meet with some of the Thakurs in this region."

"How many?"

He squinted "What does it matter how many men I am to meet??"

"O ho... not that!" She tutted "For how many days will you be gone? And will we be camped here till your return?"

"No, the platoon will keep travelling towards Sudhagadh. I will take a detour and re-join the camp in about three-four days."

Sounding a little worried, she wondered aloud "How will you know where we are??" but felt rather silly, when sounding amused, Krushanu interjected.

"Don't worry. The scouts will keep Raja-sa updated of the camps whereabouts. As they always do!"

Casting Krushanu an annoyed look, Vayu addressed her "Amiraj has been instructed to camp at Sompura till our return if the platoon reaches it before us."

An officer entered the tent "Raja-sa, I have picked the men to accompany you. They are ready to leave when you are."

Vayu nodded "Good. And I hope they all understand that any loose tongues will not be tolerated!"

Krushanu rose from the table "I had advised him to include only the most trusted. But I will have a word with them myself."

"I will change and be out shortly." Vayu informed the officer. Then turning to Harinakshi, he added "In my absence, you may approach Amiraj if you need anything."

Hari stood there uncertainly for a few moments, till it dawned on her that he did not plan to say anything else. Though feeling inexplicably deflated, she squared her shoulders and bowed "I wish you a safe and successful trip."

He responded with a brooding look "Travel safe."

Vayu watched as she left and then took a few deep breaths. This silence between them was just bloody awful! He was now more than a little mad at himself for letting things get this uncomfortable. Had he made that one refusal into something much larger than what she had meant? And yet, it still jabbed afresh every time he recalled it.

Some twenty minutes later, Vayu was assembled with the party about to leave. As he finished issuing some last-minute instructions to Amiraj and Shardul, Harinakshi approached and stood a couple of feet away. He was surprised to see her carrying a covered brass bowl.

It being clear that she wished to talk to him, he walked over.

She immediately spoke "Raja-sa, it causes me much unease to think that you are going away angry. Maa-sa used to say farewells should always be sweet, at least if it can be helped."

Uncovering the bowl, she smiled slightly "I know you won't refuse this."

"That's a Paan, not a sweet..." he grumbled seeing the contents.

Smiling a little wider now, she responded "Don't worry... it's the type that you will find too sweet!"

Eyes glinting with amusement, Vayu popped it into his mouth. Sure enough, it was too sweet! For all it contained was a big dollop of gulkand. After quickly swallowing it, he asked frowning "Will you ever make me a normal paan??"

Still grinning, she shook her head "Never!"

Gazing at her winsome smile and bewitching eyes, he asked in a strained voice "Why don't you trust me?"

Dismayed, she uttered "But I do!" Seeing the disbelief flash in his eyes, she added "Raja-sa, believe me, this is not a matter of trust. But... about a goat growing up believing she is a deer. Don't you think it would take her time to come to terms with her reality?"

Reaching out to brush a tendril away from her face, he whispered "What if I don't want a new goat?? But wish for a deer who likes to sprint amok..."

In that moment, she truly resembled a deer caught in the light of a blazing torch. By the time she remembered to blink again, he had stridden to his horse and galloped away.

It took just a moment for all the nervousness bubbling her in veins over the past few days to evaporate. He isn't cross with me... at least not anymore!

Though it was Vayu who had swallowed the gulkand filled Paan, Hari was savouring the sweetness. And he is happy for me to be just as I am... an untamed deer!

Not only did she stare at the road for long after he had disappeared with his entourage, but over the next couple of days every time they camped, her doe-shaped eyes would involuntarily gaze at the horizon wondering when he was likely to return.


* * *


(Hi Everyone,

Hope you are doing great! And hopeyou liked this part and are relieved by the reveal of Vayu's limited past performances😊

Dokeep sharing your thoughts! It helps me understand if something is causing thereaders too much angst and disconnect with the characters.

Take care!

Lots oflove, May)

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