every night, when i'm trying to sleep
i think of my flaws.
i think of all the things wrong with me
and i know,
"you're perfect just the way you are"
"everybody has flaws"
"you should see the good things about you"

but i can't
and i won't.
because really,
i don't want to.
that's the thing.
i have come to realize,
that feeling

the pain in my chest
appearing in waves
with every thought,
the sadness welling up
rising up my throat.
the silent wail waiting
for the time to break free

that feeling...

i'm addicted to that feeling.