IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS WHAT'S AHEAD AT THIS POINT.

Well, it was almost over. I just gotta take care of one more of the little robotic pieces of shit and I'll be done! I took the remote and pressed the big red button. A second later, I heard the voice from a lot father away than the others before it.

"Ahoy, mateys! I be Foxy the Pirate! Welcome to me Pirate Cove! Yar!"

God, I'm really going to enjoy this one...

"HEY!" I screamed into the radio. "Come and get me, Fucksy the FuckTard!"

"Yar! We may be sailors here at Pirate Cove, but there ain't a reason to be speakin' like one!"

"Aw, shut the hell up, you lame excuse of a pirate!!"

"YAR! Speak like that again, and you'll be walkin' the plank!"

"FUCK! OFF!"

I could then hear rapid movement throughout the building. That robot always was known for being faster than the others, but it didn't matter in my case; speed wasn't going to get him out of this one!

A second later, the red, eyepatch-wearing asshole came around the corner and looked around. When his mechanical eye laid on me, he paused and stared at me.

"Ahoy, matey! Care to join me crew for a jolly ol' adventure?"

"Why the fuck would I help YOU?!"

"Yar! We may be sailors here at Pirate Cove, but there ain't a reason to be speakin' like one!"

"God, are ALL you dumbasses so REPETITIVE?!"

"YAR! Speak like that again, and you'll be walkin' the plank!"

You know, in the room or not, I was going to get this son of a bitch! I grabbed the pipe, ran towards him, and smacked him right in the face! He fell back and sparks flew out of his mouth as he spoke.

"aHoY, mAtEyS! i Be FoXy ThE pIrAtE! wElCoMe To Me PiRaTe CoVe!"

I whacked him in the face again with all of my rage!

"dO yE dArE tO eNtEr ThE uNkNoWn Of ThE sEa?"

WHACK!

"pRePaRe To TrAvEl FaR aNd WiDe FoR rIcHeS!"

WHACK!!!

That did it. He stopped talking and moving. He sat there, just like the others. I smiled and spat at his metallic corpse; I hate pirates.

"Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of FUCK YOU!"

I walked back into the room and looked at the only one left with a smile.

"I'd ask for volunteers," I explained, "but seeing as how it's just you..."

He shook and screamed with all he could. I just sighed and crouched down.

"Look at me."

He just continued to squirm and scream. That's when I smacked him in the face with all my might.

"LOOK AT ME!!!"

He stopped screaming as he slowly turned towards be with his wet face. I could see a red handprint on his cheek from where I slapped him.

"There's no reason to be upset," I continued. "You're helping a fallen pirate! You should be happy!"

He squeezed his eyes shut and began shaking. I sat back up, picked up the pipe, and held it over his head.

"Well, matey, have fun in Davey Jones' Locker!"

The pipe went down for the last time.