Dear diary,

Today I sat by myself at lunch. I used to always sit with all of Nick's friends, but now I can't. When he was gone, I sat with the other cheerleaders, but Juliette is over there. I don't really want to be near her anymore. I know it's just jealousy bringing out emotions that I don't really feel, but I hate her now. How did I ever stand her?

I know the answer, really. I didn't see her through a veil of red.

I had to hide in the art room today, to get away from all of the people who would see me alone. I don't want to be that loner girl. I drew a little, and I liked what came out of it. I think that this room will be my hideaway from now on.

Nick and I ran into each other in the hall. Normally that meant a peck and a smile, but now it means continuing to walk like we didn't see each other. There was nothing in what he said that was remotely like "let's still be friends." I respect his privacy.

I probably wouldn't if I didn't think that it would make me look needy and desperate.

This morning I was tempted to wear a shirt with a lower cut to try to reel in another boy. I stopped myself before I could get out the door. Being that girl who doesn't wear enough isn't me. Why am I trying so hard to be someone I never was?

Kimberly