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Chapter 33: Easy Victor

I NEVER told Alex about trip to the Federal Building, or my encounter with Detective Stephen Reilly, my new law enforcement liaison.

I'm a big believer in secrets. The way I see it, my relationship with state and federal law enforcement was my business was my business and my business alone. Besides, Alex had a lot on his mind lately. Something at his work was bothering him, and I figured if I told him about any of this he would stroke out. I mean, the guy's nearly forty. My not telling him was as much for his own benefit as it for my own. I'm thoughtful like that.

This whole halfway in love thing bugged me, though. I had no idea what it meant. So once I got back to training I asked Frances. "Do you know what it means when somebody says that they're half in love with you?"

Frances and I were sitting next to each other, crouched over, braced for impact with our upper bodies over our knees and our arms around our legs.

"Huh?" she grunted. "What was that?"

"What does it mean to be halfway in love with somebody?" I repeated. "It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Heads down, stay down!" shouted the trainee in charge of the evacuation. "Grab ankles, grab ankles!"

Frances glanced over at me from her brace position. "Can this wait until after we evacuate?'

"Oh my God." I rolled my eyes. "It's not like it's real."

Before she could answer Hector shouted, "Easy Victor!" Easy Victor was airline speak for evacuate.

"Unfasten seat belts, come this way!" shouted the trainee in charge of the evacuation.

"Focus." Frances nudged me. "We're evacuating. We should pay attention."

I pushed my way around the fake luggage and other obstacles in the simulator aircraft aisle for a more realistic training experience and followed her to the nearest emergency exit. "We've done this five times already."

"It's important," Frances told said as we approached the entry door. "It might even save your life."

"Fire! This exit blocked!" shouted my fellow trainee. "Turn around, go that way, use that exit."

Frances and I turned around. "I'm just confused," I told her. "I don't get what it means to be half in love." We reached the window exit and climbed through out onto the fake simulator wing. "The way I see it, you're either in love, or you're not."

We hopped together off the wing and walked away from the simulator. Today was land evacuation drills. Once this was done, our FAA requirements would be satisfied.

"Alright. Obviously, you're fixated." She led me over to the cinderblock wall by the life vest practice inflation station. "It's like this. Some people fall in love, and other people wade into it."

I played with a life vest. "Go on."

"Halfway in love is an expression for the waders. It means there's some attraction and interest, but there's problems that have to be worked out as well." She crouched down and leaned against the wall. "Why do you want to know?"

"No reason," I said. I put on a life vest, inflated it, and then deflated it.

"You're not a wader, so I know you're not halfway in love with somebody," she mused. "But you're definitely in love with somebody. You got that all in love glow."

"I do?" I rubbed my face. "Is it off?"

She looked up at me with a knowing smile. "Alex."

"What?" I looked around. "Where?"

A judgey, smug look crossed her face. "Hmm. Interesting."

"What's interesting? Why did you say Alex? Is he here?"

She studied her nails. "No reason."

I climbed up on the safety railing around the simulator. "Seriously, Frances. Is he here? Why would you say his name if he wasn't here?" I looked around the aircraft simulator area. Four aircraft simulators - each representing a type of Airbus - surrounded a large swimming pool. The pool was used for ditching drills.

We had done our ditching drills yesterday. If I learned anything, it was that I don't want to land a plane in water.

"I have a theory," Frances said. "You want to hear it?"

I climbed down. "Theory about what?"

"You and Alex. I think you're a little afraid of him."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not afraid of Alex. Why would I be afraid of Alex? That's crazy talk."

"Why don't you go out with us, then?" she badgered. "You know, since we started training, you've not been out with us even once?"

"I don't go out with you, so therefore I must be afraid of my fiance." I nudged her with my toe. "That's stupid."

"Okay, it's stupid." She twisted a lock of her hair. "I'm sure that you're completely fine with him dropping you off every morning, and picking you up after class. Everyone's probably right. You don't come out because you think you're too good for us."

I stared at her. "Is that what people think?"

She stared back, uncharacteristically serious. "Look at yourself. You live in a real live townhouse in Manhattan. Your clothes are this season and clearly designer. Your boyfriend drives you in his pimped out Porsche, or you're chauffeured in a limo SUV." She gently kicked me. "It looks like you think you're too good for us."

"I...I don't think I'm too good for you," I sputtered. "Alex...I could go out after training if I wanted to. But I have obligations, and there's the wedding, and his family, and I'm busy, you know."

"All clear!" Hector shouted.

"Right. You're busy." She stood up from her squat. "We all have a bet that you're quitting soon. Think about it."

I stood still in shock while everyone else headed back towards the simulator.

"Come on, Siobhan." Frances frowned and guided me towards the simulator. "Get it together."

We climbed back into inside and found our seats. "It's not true, you know. Alex loves me."

"I'm sure he does," she patronized. "Now focus, kitten. You're going to need a source of income if you ever decide to put your big girl panties on and leave him."

I shot her a look, but before I could respond Hector called me up. "Red, you're next. Take the purser's jumpseat. You're going to be commanding the evacuation."

"Go get 'em, tiger!" Frances purred as I scooted past her and strapped into the jumpseat by the first door on the left.

Hector pressed some buttons on the simulator's control panel. There was a jolt and the uncomfortable feeling of being in a big elevator as the simulator rose up in the air. Hector grinned. "Now, for today's last drill, you are all going to experience sliding down the evacuation slide for real."

I looked at him. "You mean I get to blow the slide?"

Evacuation drills were generally done without a real slide; they were too expensive to pack and repack. We were, however, required to slide down one real slide in our training. Looks like I was going to have the opportunity to inflate it.

Hector looked down at his iPad. "Before we get started, Red, what kind of slide is used on the A400?"

"It's a double lane slide, Hector, that can be used in both a land and sea evacuation."

"Correct. Did you get that, everyone? Double lane slide here." Hector walked up and evaluated my jump seat form, because there is even a procedure for sitting on the jump seat. "Feet on the floor, hands on your knees." He checked something off on his iPad. "Okay, Red. You're Purser on the A400 and you're preparing for a land evacuation. You got 90 seconds." He showed me the stopwatch app on the iPad as he backed out of my way. "Ready?"

I nodded. "Bring it, Jeffe."

"Start your evacuation." He turned on the stop watch.

"Grab ankles, grab ankles!" I shouted. "Heads down, stay down! Heads down, stay down!"

"Easy Victor," Hector said.

I undid my harness as I shouted, " Unfasten seat belts, come this way!" I jumped up and ran to the aircraft door.

"Show me a big assess," Hector encouraged. It wasn't enough to stick your face in the portal; you had to stare hard.

I stuck my face in the window. "I'm assessing, I'm assessing." After a second, I opened the door. Or at least I tried to. I pushed up on the handle but nothing happened.

"It's a live door," Hector shouted. "Gotta push hard "

I gave him a dirty look over my shoulder, then pushed up on the handle as hard as I could.

There was a loud hiss of air, followed by an explosion of silver. "Whoa," I muttered and jumped back. The slide burst out, easily 20 feet high, and twice as long, like something you'd see at a kid's birthday party, except it was painted silver with yellow warnings written all over it.

Once it had successfully inflated, I found the designated place to stand so a panicked crowd wouldn't push me out, then threw up my arm in the international language of stop sign. "Remove shoes! Don't take anything with you!"

"Okay, Red. What's next?"

"I choose my volunteers." I pointed at the two people nearest to me. "You, you, stay at the bottom. Pull the people off."

Hector walked past me to evaluate the slide. He looked down at the group of instructors standing at the bottom of the slide. They gave him a thumbs up. "Good slide. Command the evacuation."

"Jump, jump, two at a time, form double lines, stay close together!"

My fellow trainees began jumping down the slide; shrieks and whoops soon filled the air. In a few seconds, it was only me and one other trainee, some blonde girl whose name I never bothered to learn. She stood at the door, looking down, fear on her face.

"I can't do this," she mumbled. "I can't jump. I can't."

The problem was, with her standing her, it was cutting into my evacuation time. I still had to go through the cabin myself before I could slide down. "You can do it," I encourage. "Go for it!"

"I can't," she whimpered. "I 'm afraid of heights."

"I'm afraid of a lot of things," I lied, "but sometimes you gotta force yourself."

She burst into tears.

Oh, for God's sake. This bitch is not going to tank me. I leaned over and whispered, "Get down that slide, or I will throw you down."

That shocked her into attention. She took one look at me and jumped.

A part of me was disappointed; I would have liked to have thrown someone down. Maybe if I get the opportunity to really evacuate and aircraft I could throw a person or two down. It looked fun. I did my cabin check and turned to Hector for permission to evacuate.

"Area clear," said Hector. "Evacuate yourself."

With a huge grin, I jumped out the door, and shrieked, "Incoming!"

I hit the slide, bounced up, then zoomed down. Two instructors pulled me off. What a rush, man. "Can I do it again?" I asked.

I was told no. Bummer. I walked over to an ice chest full of Evian and took a bottle.

"Nice job with the evac."

I turned. Frances was behind me. "I'm not afraid of Alex," I asserted. "I'm not."

"Okay. You're not." She got her own bottle of water and opened it. "We're all going shopping this weekend. Saturday. Why don't you come?"

"Okay. Fine. I'll come...wait, I can't. I have plans." I bit my lip. "Maybe Sunday?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Got plans Sunday. Check it out. Helena's flagging you over."

I turned around. "What does she want?"

"Who knows. Better find out."

I marched over there, trying to hide the fact that I was freaking out. Do other people see it? Is it that obvious that Alex is the boss of me? I thought I was hiding it. My stomach twisted into a full fledged knot.

Behind me I heard someone shout, "Easy Victor!"

Unfasten seatbelts. Come this way. Jump, jump. Don't take anything with you. Jump, jump, don't take anything with you.

As I walked up to the group it occurred to me that maybe everything was more obvious than I thought it was. Focus. I pasted on a smile. "Yes, Helena? What's up?"

"Siobhan, Kim wants to lodge a complaint against you," Helena replied in her posh British accent. "She claims you threatened her."

I frowned. "What? Why would you say that?"

Kim - the girl I'd motivated down the slide - stood, arms crossed, glaring. "Because you did! You threatened me. You said if I didn't go down the slide, you'd throw me down the slide."

"I didn't say that," I lied. "I said go down the slide or you'll go home."

"That's not what you said! That's not what you said at all!" She frantically pointed at me. "She said she would throw me down the slide!"

"I don't understand." I turned to Helena. "If you didn't go down the slide, you would have been fired."

Helena nodded. "It is an FAA requirement."

"So what's the big?" I looked at Kim. "You went down the slide, and you're still here. It's a win-win."

"It wasn't right," she pouted. "You threatened me, and it wasn't right."

"I'm sure Siobhan didn't mean to sound threatening," Helena placated. "Siobhan, why don't you apologize to Kim, and then we can all go over to the fire pit and practice putting out grease fires."

One of my father's big lessons to me was to never apologize. Never admit culpability. "I can't apologize. Her sensitivities are not my problem."

"I was terrified!" squeaked Kim. "I didn't want to go down but you threatened me!"

"If you hadn't have gone down, you would have been fired." I was so confused. "Did you want to be fired?"

Before Kim could answer, Hector walked up. "Is there a problem?"

"Kim's upset because she thinks I threatened her," I told him.

"You did threaten me!" she yelled. "You did!"

"No, she didn't," Hector told her. "What I saw was good team work. You were afraid and Siobhan encouraged you."

"Right!" I grinned. "That's what I said!"

"Kim, if you want to lodge a complaint, you're free to do so," said Helena, "but please understand that the Company looks just as closely at the one writing the complaint as they do at the subject of the complaint. Given the way that you tarried before jumping, I'd say you delayed an evacuation."

Hector nodded. "That's grounds for dismissal in itself."

Kim's face turned bright red. "Fine. I won't lodge a complaint. But she better stay away from me!" With that, she turned and stomped towards the fire pit.

I looked after her, completely confused. "Why's she mad? I thought I was helping her."

Hector looked at Helena. "We need a class called bitches be cray cray." To me he said, "Come on, Red. Some people in this world are more trouble to help than it's worth."

_____ * _____ * _____ * _____ * _____

Poor Siobhan. Every time she tries to help someone, they get made. Good thing it doesn't seem to stop her, though.

Thank you so much for taking time to read Siobhan's story! I look forward to your comments, and if you liked it, please remember to vote!

©Copyright Liz Charnes May 2018

This work is protected by copyright and cannot be copied or used in any way without my express consent. Please don't steal it. Thank you!


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