His eyes are the opposite of mine, just like how the darkness of the night reigns on the sky, vast and mysterious.  I am lost, his eyes are the only one who can make my knees tremble, the one who makes my heart beats faster than normal. The one who soothes my fear and shelter my pain. Standing in front of him, looking directly with the same eyes that once looked at me with the promises of forever.

“This is the price of your sins, Pieris.” Pointing me the sword that protected me way back then. The world changes so fast, he is now ready to yield his sword on me without any hesitation. I cannot let my feelings interfere, it will only show my weakness. I never faltered, I stand still while his sword touches my neck drawing a line on my skin.

“If living freely will cost my life, then I will die trying.” Maybe I did horrible things in my past life. Why am I experiencing this? I just wanted to be happy, to be free from all of this. I just wanted to leave, to vanish with the wind.

The sound of the metal hitting the floor, I closed my eyes. Praying that after death will be good to me. Better than the life I had in this lifetime. If I will meet him again, I promise that whatever circumstances we have, on that time I will choose him. I will love him more than I love him today, I will love him until forever ends.

I felt his arms around me, embracing me like there’s no tomorrow. Tears cascaded in my eyes, the agony starts to spread in my system, the unending sorrows and loneliness without him.

“How can I kill the only person who makes me feel alive?”

As I opened my eyes the rays of sunshine welcome me. It enters the voluminous windows that lighten the corners of this room. The silhouette of the leaves are swaying with the wind. Each shelf contains books with stories of the past, theories about this world, narratives for the future, and fictitious novels. Every flip of page will offer you a new knowledge or an exciting discovery.

The hem of my lilac night dress touches the ground. A breakfast with no book to read is like eating a bland viand. A reflection of a young lady appeared in front of me. The mirrors that always scared me when I was young. This room was filled with mirrors, everywhere I look all I see is a reflection. I used to think that this is a portal to another world, a place of fantasy. A smile was written in my lips for that foolish thought. Mermaid curls on my hair that as white as snow, the eyes that as clear as crystal, like a diamond that dazzles when light emerge with it. Apple red lips that shaped like a cupid’s bow, is this the definition of beauty?

I hate it, I hate when people say I’m different. I hate when people look at me with peculiarity. I hate people being normal. They say everyone was built uniquely but if you aren’t same as them, you’ll be treated differently. Normalcy that people are trying to fit in, that standard if you didn’t meet, you’ll be excluded or worshipped. Is it on the name? The power? The wealth? Or the beauty?

“Being different doesn’t mean you need to punish yourself, start appreciating what you have and learn that we are all the same but different.” I rolled my eyes as I heard the familiar stoic voice. I glared at him, all his features oppose his name, from the matte black hair, to his dark eyes and dark outfit. The only thing that screams pure on him is his angelic face.

“Easier to say than done. Lucian, this isn’t about me accepting myself. It’s about people who does not accept who I am. Those people that cannot understand that just like everyone else, I am normal on my own.” Despite of the darkness within his eyes, the gentleness and softness resurface above all. I can’t help but to feel my heart races inside my chest. Sometimes it calms, sometimes it rages with his presence.

“What did I teach you? Focus on the things you can control not on those you have no power with. You cannot command people on the things enter their mind, it’s how you handle yourself with them. Ignore them or let them destroy your life.” He held my hand like it’s an assurance that everything will get better not now but someday it will. I held into that for my whole life but I ended with the same room, hoping that the misery and loneliness will be colored with yellow and rose gold.

“It’s different, the society’s perspective has control over me. Look how my mother kept me within the walls of the palace and deprived me of freedom. That’s the harsh reality we try to cover with lies and false hope. That the perspective of the people has no effect when we ignore them, but it does. It does affect a whole life, it can cause a trauma or a wound that a person has no choice but to live with it in their entire existence. It can steal a moment, an experience or a possible future a person can have. When do these people learn to let a person live on its own life? No judgements nor comments, no stares nor whispers that will describe your whole life.”

His eyes bore on me with melancholy. “It will take centuries, maybe not in our lifetime but someday it will. People will be more open minded, people won’t care about your physical appearance nor flaws. And they will focus on their own life rather than looking on other people and act as a perfection in person.”

“I hope that someday will come fast,” I whispered it on the wind thinking that someone up above will hear my prayers.

A young kid appears in front of me. Looking on the window with jealousy in her eyes. The white curls were tied into a pony tail. A dress in the shade of sky blue compliments her outfit with black puffy boots. Pouting and glaring she looked on Nanny Ysa.

“Mama Ysa, I wanna play with them too.” She’s always with me despite of the rumors that my stares can kill in a split second. The child was me, with those innocent wide crystal eyes. A monster they say, she’s a pure angel for me. Fuck people and their fucking gossips.

“Princess, her majesty will be mad again if you will try to sneak out again. Let’s go and read some books in the library.” I ran towards her. I tried to escape once but a guard caught me and brought me back into the palace. At the age of eight, I have never seen a flower nor touch the grass. Golds and silver surrounds me, no nature nor people. The other nannies and guards never looked at me scared that they might die.

They say that this is the white curse, only comes after hundred years. It was documented that the person who has white curse either offers you luck or misfortune. It has magic powers, some says it was devil’s spawn, maybe I am. The queen is the devil. I smirked at the thought.

The familiar screams rang in my ears, louder and nearer. Tears forming in my eyes, the pain strike my chest once, twice… until I have endured it enough for me to be numb. I wanna run away, I don’t want to watch this again. I felt my feet glued on the floor. The coldness crept in my skin, tears escaping my eyes. The setting sun reflects an orange sun-kissed skies stained with pink as the darkness spreads. It was a nice afternoon, the laughter and smiles of every person on the park.

The young Pieris appears out of nowhere. The first time I have learnt magic was the first time reality crushed me. “Pieris, no! Don’t go there, no. Stop. Please hear me out! Stop, stay in the palace. Don’t go near them…” I cried. All I can do is watch, no one will hear my voice. No one will see me, no matter how much I scream.

I remember everything that day, the happiness filled my heart, the laughter that made me smile, the first time I stepped on a grass, the first time I picked a flower. Lastly… was the first time I interacted with a girl. Her brown hair, wide cat eyes, her voice that are mean and loud. I have used magic, teleportation… the strong urge of the young Pieris to go outside and play made it happen.

“The monster! Help, the white curse is in front of me!” The happiness I felt turned into fear. The laughter and conversations died down and turned into silent whispers. Everyone’s eyes were on me,  looking at me with disgust in their eyes. I am a princess, they should not treat me like this.

 A stone was thrown into me by the same girl who screamed. I shielded myself against it, they did the same no matter what age they are. No mercy nor care for a child just them protecting themselves by hurting me. “That’s what you deserve! Monster! You are not a human!”

“Stop, stop, please,” I whispered as the sobs started to escape. The queen was right, no one will accept me, I just wanted to see the flowers and to play… with them.

There are no stones being thrown at me anymore. I opened my eyes, blurry at first but I visualized a knight based on his clothes. He is wearing a silver armor with a sword in his side. The cuirass shone bright with the sun reflects on it. He removed his helmet and stopped in front of me. He bowed and knelt down as a sign of respect. I looked down at him with perplex.   

The silence became eerie, no one speaks just the birds singing on the trees. “The knight will imprison the monster, catch that…”

Tears flooded in my cheeks as her words were cut by the sword of the knight. In a split of second her head fell on the ground, with wide eyes are still open and moving. She was… no… her body collapsed without a head. The splatter of blood reaches me, it scattered all over my body. Her eyes were looking at me directly, those brown orbs stares at me with no life. I can see how the blood flows out of her head. She’s dead… no. Why would the knight do this? Their job is to protect the people of Alegria. Cacophony of screams from the watching people escaped, I looked at them. Slowly they are stepping backward like we are nemesis to be feared.

“She killed her…”

“The princess killed Elizabeth… no my daughter.”

“The curse is true… she can kill in one glance…”

“She’s evil. She came from hell.”

“A murderer… the princess is a murderer!”

No… I didn’t kill anyone, I shook my head. I tried to open my mouth but nothing came out. My voice seems to be lost, afraid that the more I defend myself it will turn worst.

The knight looked at me, it was empty. His ash-grey eyes were filled with nothing, no regrets nor guilt for what he did. He was the same guard that brought me back in the palace when I escaped once. “Stupid people who believes more on rumors than the truth. It was presented in front of them but chose to be blind. Come here, my lady. The queen will punish the both of us if you will be late for the supper.”

“You killed her…”

“You are a murderer… a monster.

Darkness… my breathes reigns the silence. “That was just a nightmare, Pieris. Nightmare.” I covered my ears even though it won’t silence the whispers inside my head. The same routines… this night I will wait until the sun rises to settle my thoughts, to forget those memories, those words.

“Lucian why are you crying?” It was a memory of our sixteenth. He held my right hand tight. I looked at his eyes, full of anger, sadness, and fear. It was fast and blissful, with Lucian there’s light and happiness.

“Stop it, Pieris. Stop this, if you will die I’ll come with you.” I stared at my wrist, and saw a pool of blood flowing out of my veins. I gulped, it’s not that deep that’s why I am not dead yet. Why can’t I feel any pain? Why does this wound let me live? Is this life still considered as living?

“Isn’t this the solution, Lucian? To end this sadness, this suffering, the repetitive memories, the fear of the people on us, on the royalties.” He held me tight, he took a bandage and slowly put it on my wound. I stared at it, why do I need to live? Everyone wishes me to die, I am just granting their wishes.

“This will end someday, Pieris. Someday we will walk out of the palace and go to the place you wanted to go. Someday you will be freely explore the world. I promise you that, but for now please fight for me. Fight for yourself, dying is just a short-term solution. It won’t solve anything.”

“I am exhausted, Lucian. I wanna rest.” He shook his head. “We’ll sleep later, I will be with you. We will rest together.” His trembling voice made me stop thinking about dying. Maybe he’s right… that it’s not the only solution. I am just tired, I will get over this. Pieris, hold into that someday. Someday it will come, someday it will be better.

I caressed his hair. He’s the only reason I wanted to live. He showed me a side of life that’s fun and blissful. Slow days with him are peace. Simple days with him are fun. A lifetime with him is one of the dreams I wanted in life.

“Someday I will marry you,” I said and smiled at him.

He looked at me soulfully. “Then live for me, live for yourself. I will marry you, someday. We will build a house in a beachfront. We will climb mountains, we will travel together. We will be happy. Someday…” He kissed the back of my hand. “Someday, I promised you the life you always dream of.”

“Why? Why can’t you kill the rumors?! You are the Queen of this kingdom, you have all the power. It’s just a simple.” Elegance, and coldness. Her eyes that reflects mine with just brown color bore onto me. The maroon shade of her gown made her looked sophisticated. The tiara in her head screams power.

“My dear, you have changed since the last time I saw you. You were this little tiny one, and now you are a lady knew how to speak in front of me.” Her eyes gazes like a storm in the night of winter. Too cold… and empty. In story books, mothers are gentle and kind. Always there for their child, the sweet lullabies, the lovely voice and the warmth embrace. If those stories can make me feel love then why she cannot? Fictions are fantasy, some may be based on experience but most of them are fantasies of the mind. This is the reality presented in front of me.

“Your presence increases the fear of the people on royalties. One glance can be their death, who wouldn’t be afraid on that? You are the next queen of this kingdom. You need to have that power, for them to stay inferior on us. Fear controls people, so we are.”

“Do you really see me as your daughter? Or the one who will continue this power that our family has?”

She looked at me with nothing in her eyes. Her lips risen a bit, forming a smile with no humor. “I am afraid that I see you as the latter my dear daughter.”

What do I expect? Maybe somewhere in the middle, I hoped that she would answer the first one. Expectations hurt more than reality does. I wanna cry but why? Why would I cry for the truth that has been presented in front of me that I neglected?

This pain is my fault, this disappointment came from me. If I accepted it earlier, if I didn’t let my hopes high it won’t hurt this much. I feel my heart breaking into pieces… the pieces that ache, and crave for love… love that I cannot have.

“Stop your childish remarks. Prepare yourself, I arranged your marriage, it will happen days after your birthday and the coronation. To strengthen our relationship on our connections.”

“Do you know how dangerous it is, Pieris?!” His voice thundered in the whole room. I cannot look at him in the eyes. After a few years of learning how to control the magic I have… I successfully used it. I didn’t afflict anyone aside from myslef. I looked at the wound on my right arm, it was a shallow but  it extends ‘til my neck. It looks burnt, but it was because of the curse. The marks… it was black and some unreadable letters are spreading but it stopped. It will heal… after days or weeks.

“Your life, fuck. You know that using magic will cost you your life… how can you be so indifferent with your life? I thought you were done with this when we were 16, why are you doing it again?” Slowly, he walks closer to me, until the it vanish the only space we have. His embrace is tight, like he does not want to let go of me. As if his embrace will evanesce everything. Am I asking for too much? Should I give up?

The tears started to fall an endless river in my eyes. The pain inside my chest does not subside and only worsen every second, every thought that he won’t be the one I will wed with. “She wants me to marry someone. The queen has been fixing my marriage, Lucian. After the coronation night on my eighteenth… the wedding will happen.” I buried my face in his chest, like it can hide me from the world. His arms tighten around me. I cannot see his eyes but I know it darkens. His eyes are in the darkest when he’s angry or in agony. I always wonder what is inside his mind, does it include me in it?

“I won’t let anyone, Pieris. It’s either me or no one else. Is this why you risk your life to tell me about this?”

I nodded as he lifted my chin to see my face. His fingers started to get rid of the tears in my cheek. “I will ask you to elope with me. To runaway from this place… I successfully went to your manor. It was as what I thought. The beautiful garden of roses, the large staircase that welcomes the visitors…” He cut my words as he kisses my forehead.

“Don’t do it again. Even for me, Pieris. Wait for me, always wait for me. I will go for you, I will come for you. You will see the world with me beside you. Your life is the most important than anything else.”

It was one in the morning, I was staring at vast night sky, thinking what life could be if I was born in a family that has love and connection aside from the name and the power. I woke up from a nightmare… I cannot sleep again. This happens often… now. Lucian… said he will marry me. How? Will I be happy on a life with me even if I know that he will be tied with this dynasty. I looked at my fingers, imagining that a ring from him will fit in here. He will be the King, and I will be the Queen. We are the future of Alegria. Can we change the society? Will they accept me as their Queen?

Will I accept this reality?

Or chase my dreams? I closed my eyes and memories started to return me back on those moments we have shared. The light sneaks on the window, as the series of footsteps were heard along the hallway. The light blue off-shouldered dress I wore touches the ground, different beads and silver glitters were embedded on it. It shines as the sunlight reflects in every piece. I hurriedly open the door, and it had shone me an image of the back of a man whom I looking for.

“Lucian! Did you read the book I recommend on you?” His dark eyes bore on me like I was the only thing that matters. His eyebrows turned knots as if I said something he didn’t understand/ I knew it! He had forgotten about it again. I rolled my eyes heavenwards.

“You didn’t read it, did you?”

“I have read…” He gave me his most charming smile. The one that entrances people with his innocent face, looking like an angel that fell straight on earth land. The blue colored button down made him look mature, we just turned seventeen this year. Next year will be my debutante, as well as the coronation and the Queen will introduce her… prospect husband for me.

“Another book that were needed in our classes. You should listen to your classes more, rather than reading romance book. Love is best learn when you experience it.” He smiled at me, that genuine smile that reaches his eyes. It made my heart skip a beat, the temperature seems rises nowadays. I felt my cheeks heated, I fan myself with my hands.

“The way you said it… it feels you experience it. Can you describe what you felt? So I can check if I may be in love with someone.”

He ran his fingers through my cheeks, and tapped it slowly. “There are no words that can suffice the way I fall in love with you in each day.” His hand reaches mine and place it on his heartbeats. It beats with the same rhythm as mine, fast and intense.

“I love you.”

In the end I ran away, tears are falling from my eyes. The darkness reigns, the only noise you can hear is silence. The cold wind embraces, I tremble not in fear but in pain. I used too much magic to teleport, my vision are in haze. I only have a bow and arrow, and a bag of jewelries. Enough for me to live for a while.

Lucian will never forgive me. This is the only way I can escape on the fate that they are writing for me. I never dreamt of this life, even my marriage, the children I will have, they all planned it for me. Maybe it’s too ideal but in this life I want to decide on the life I will live. It may be ideal  but it’s better to live in a life in misery.

There’s no turning back. This will change my life forever. I closed my eyes and let the minutes became hours. As I watched the sun rises behind the trees, they said it symbolizes new beginnings. There are no more tears and hesitance. This time I will choose what my heart desires.

A sound of rustling of leaves came, I eyed the bushes around me. The trees are swaying with the morning wind. A pair of shoes appeared out of nowhere. I shot it with my bow but it was stopped in the mid air. I was stunned. Is that magic? What is this? I looked up and saw a man with a pair of silver eyes, it was almost as clear as mine but it has shades of grey lingering around.

“Are you lost, Mademoiselle? This is not a place for princesses. Danger and dirt aren’t for you.” His eyes are mischievous.  He look foreign, his hand reaches my right hand and kissed it. He knelt down with his one knee and look upon me. The moonlight shone its light on us, giving me a glimpse on his beauty, long lashes, silver eyes, and playful lips.

“Hades Ophiuchus, a knight from Obelia, the land of the rising sun.” I can feel that he has magic, the power he has is leaking from his body.

“How do you know me?”

“You are the only heiress of this kingdom, and the holder of the white curse after hundreds of years.” He stopped midway and stand from his place. “You have eyes of honesty. Your emotions are the reflecting in your eyes. Don’t be afraid on me, I am no enemy.”

I put my guard down, I believe on his words. Knights have one word, one wrong talk will cause them their lives. “I can sense magic on you… are you sure that you won’t kill me?”

“People in your kingdom are cruel, I need to disguise to hide my identity. Once they knew that I have magic, they will kill me. I won’t harm a royal blood will only cause a war between our kingdoms.”

I silently listen to his stories. He went to this forest to save his wife… she needed a rare plant that can only be seen in this country. He also mentioned that in their country, having magic and being different were normal. Nobody tells you what you should be and what can you do. Everyone is living in their own, even if you have magic or ordinary citizen.

“Can I come with you?”

“You ran away, Princess? Such a rebel. Sure, when I find the sacred plant… I will return to Obelia.” He messed my hair and lend me some of his foods. He can create fire, move things, and many more I don not know about. He is such an amazing magician, he told me that he will teach me how to control my magic so it won’t cost me my life.

“Being a princess in this society is exhausting. Everyone expects me to be this and that. To be someone I am not. What’s your dream, Hades?”

“To spend this lifetime with, Andromeda.” That’s the name of his wife, he said that she is the most beautiful woman in his eyes. The way he talked about her reflects his love for her, the light in his eyes, the happiness in his tone, and his smile.

“How about you, Princess? What’s your dream?” I looked upon the sky, the clear horizon, only the twinkling stars are present, no moon nor sun. Just the sky with million of star dust. What’s my dream? I imagine Lucian’s smile… his happiness even without me.

“To reach the sky.”

I wait for Hades, he went inside the cave. His radar says that the sacred plant is there. He task me to wait and guard the entrance. It has been weeks since I decided to join him in his journey. There are times that I have wished that Lucian is with me… through my firsts. First food I cooked, first time to hunt a deer, and many more. Every night I think about him, did I hurt him? Escaping the palace… and abandoning our supposedly marriage.

I close my eyes to wander the future I may have… someday I will go home to Lucian.

“Why did you leave me?” His embrace tightens, I breathe to stop my tears from falling. “I told you to wait… to always wait for me.”

I distance myself from his chest, I look upon him. Pain is evident in his eyes, fear, and longing. “I want to decide for myself… it’s selfish may it seems but that’s the truth. Marrying you this time is not my choice.”

“You don’t want to marry me,” he whispered on himself enough for me to hear it.  

I shook my head and held his face. “I want to marry you, you are the only one whom I will agree to be wedded with. I know what will happen after our marriage, we are the heir of the throne. Do you think we will live happily? Do you think we can have a simple life after that? Is that the life you wanted?”

“Any life with you is worth living.” He kisses my forehead and ease away the tears on my cheeks.

In a snap we are running away. Hades was left alone with the knights of the kingdom. He is buying us time… he said he will wait for us in Obelia. It’s a promised I know he will survive those men… for Andromeda.

“The Queen ordered to kill you. She put a prize in your head over a billion of money for the person who will turn over your dead body.” My heart stopped for a second… why did she do that?

“I don’t know the reason why but I am here. I will protect you no matter what happen.” He smiled at me as an assurance that everything will be alright. He slowed down and hush me. He held on his sword, and put me behind him.

A set of knights came from the woods different from the ones we left behind with Hades. They still have armors while those one has not because Hades removed it from them. They attacked us but Lucian immediately wield his sword to cut the head of the first one.

“Kill me first before you can touch her.” He left me behind to fight them. I was just here left standing,  I used some of my magic to form a barrier on Lucian. It’s a protection, so he won’t be hurt by the knights no matter how they attack him.

It was painful to see that he once swore to protect this kingdom with those knights but now they are fighting and killing each other. Am I worth this fight? If I can stop time and runaway with him, I will do that. Why can’t the Queen let me live my own life? Isn’t this for her own good?

I felt series of footsteps coming in this way. I felt a sharp pain in my chest, it was rapid and unexpected. As I looked at it tears came out from my eyes, pool of blood drips in my chest as a golden arrow was pierced through my heart.

“Lucian,” I whispered. I heard him screaming my name, everything gets blurry. I was down on my knees until someone held me. I look upon and saw Lucian, tears ae forming in his eyes. Fear was evident in it, I caressed his face.

“No, Pieris… stay with me. I will bring you home. Don’t close your eyes, this will pass. We will go on Obelia. We will build our lives there… We will love each other until eternity ends. Please…” His words turned into sobs… into cries that I cannot bear to listen. I breathe slowly holding my life for a second.

“I love you,” I said. I want him to know… this life has been better with him.

“Thank you…” for the love, the memories, the happiness… and the promises. If another life do exist, I will find you again, Lucian. I will love you… and in that life I am free.

My eyes widened as I saw how the sword penetrated his chest from behind. I shook my head I cannot utter any word anymore… I tried but there’s no voice coming out. No… no… Lucian doesn’t deserve to die. Tears are flowing in my tears… as blood spits out from his lips.

A smile forms in his lips. His hand slowly caressed my cheeks. “Love…” he whispered as he lowered his head and kiss my forehead down to my nose until it reaches my lips. Darkness slowly succumbs. Maybe this time I will be truly free.

“Fly with me…”