|SORROW|

It took a total of seven seconds. Seven, momentous seconds. That's too little, too small a fraction of my entire life. That's all I could think. How could such a tiny portion of my unfortunate life be the turning point? How could the last straw happen in just seven seconds? It...It isn't fair. It's not right; it can't be. My whole world can't just shatter in seven, minuscule seconds.

But, it was, literally. Glass and metal and whatever else that was in the Jeep exploded around us in a petrifying heap.

I've never felt more absent, yet I've never felt more human. So many emotions flooded over me in those seven seconds, I can't distinguish any of them. I can't remember one from another, or recall how they felt. That's why I had to cut them off; shut them down before they got too painful.

I can only explain the absent part of it. As I watched the contents of the Jeep become airborne, I sat unaffected. The bursting glass didn't cut my skin, the smoke didn't burn my lungs, and the continuous crash against pavement didn't bruise my body. I didn't have a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, or a panic in my scream. I wasn't really there; I wasn't really human, not anymore. That's been proven to me multiple times, but this time, it hit harder than ever.

The sounds had been tuned out along with the feelings, until we were still. The silence and stillness somehow reawakened me.

I assessed the situation as quickly as possible as if I could do something. I went into human mode briefly, attempting to help, but I have to remember that what happened in the memory is already set in stone, there is no changing it. So, I sat still.

Harley was the first thing to move in the quiet Jeep. Without the lights, I could hardly see, but I knew that the Jeep had landed back on what used to be the tires.

"What happened?" I asked josiah.

I turned to look up at him and immediately regretted it. Tears streamed from his eyes, he made no attempt to hide them. In fact, they were the only thing about him that moved. He stared blankly through what was left of the spider-webbed windshield.

If he's acting this way, then something bad happened.

Baylor! I haven't checked on him yet.

His head was turned over to his right shoulder and his body slumped in the seat, held up only by the tattered seat belt. I noticed it had actually sliced through the skin on his neck a bit. His hair lay flat, finally tamed by thick, oozing liquid that coated his dark locks.

Harley turned to him as she shook herself back into reality. Her bloody hand was up to his neck, I assume checking for a pulse. I didn't have to wait for an answer from her, Baylor was gone. I knew not because he was badly banged up or because he lay unnaturally in his seat; I knew because his smile was gone. The twinkle in his eyes was gone. His freckles were overpowered by tiny cuts all over his face. His dimples didn't show, nor did his laugh lines. Everything that made him Baylor had vanished.

I made the decision to officially cut off all emotions. I have to just watch the memory and get through the next few hours, then I'll be dead anyway; done with this terrible quest.

I dispassionately watched what was certainly the most heartbreaking moment of my short human life.

I didn't have to guess that at all, because Harley expressed it. She screamed his name until her voice became hoarse, then she cried over his lifeless body. She begged him to wake up with both hands around his bruised face. She beat her fist against the dash board while yelling at no one in particular.

"It isn't fair! Take me instead!" She screamed. "Baylor, please wake up." She had folded herself over onto his chest. Her words were muffled, but I could still make them out. "I can't do this without you. None of it. I just...can't. We have to stay together, you said that yourself. I won't let you break your promise."

In all the somber and terrifying memories that I've sat through, this one was the worst. I knew that Harley wouldn't come back from this. She had said it herself. It was impossible. Baylor was her anchor that held her in place, yet he was the floatation device that saved her from drowning in the dark waters of this world. He was her everything, and now he is gone.

Harley suddenly sat up as if she just thought of a million dollar idea. She wiggled her way out of the seatbelt, after discovering that the latch was jammed. She dug around in the floor, searching for something. It must not have been there because she dug her hands in her hair in frustration. Then, she straightened up enough to reach inside her Jean pocket. Her phone was in her hand.

She turned to Baylor. "I'll see you soon big brother." She whispered in his ear, then kissed him on the cheek.

Her hand dug down into the dash that hung open, removing a pocket knife. She stuck it down into her purse, and started inching her way through the glassless window.

I grabbed Josiah's hand and took us out of the Jeep when I realized he wasn't going to do it. I stood right next to Harley, watching her inhale and exhale deeply. I'm not sure why she was breathing that way, maybe her injuries restricted her ribs from expanding normally, or perhaps she was calming herself. No matter the reason, it was an unpleasant sight.

The Jeep had rolled down a bank and landed at the edge of the woods. It was practically flat, and barely any glass was where it was supposed to be. Two steady streams of smoke emerged from beneath the hood, one thick and gray, and the other a misty white.

Harley pulled out her phone, its light lit up her face, revealing tiny cuts that matched the ones on Baylor's face, keeping them identical. Her shaky fingers keyed in 911. I hadn't really thought of calling them, but I guess it's good she did.

Her abnormal breathing all but stopped when someone answered. She responded slowly, testing her voice. It sounded more like a croak, and completely unrecognizable, even though that voice used to belong to me.

"We had a wreck." She said first.

"Me and my brother." She took in a deep breath, the first one in a while I realized.

"Bay-" her voice cut off mid word, and she had to try again. "Baylor, Baylor Jamison."

I could hear the muffled voice of the person on the phone, but Harley wasn't responding anymore.

Finally, she answered after a deep, raspy breath. " Don't bother, He's dead." She said quietly.

"It doesn't matter who I am, I won't be here when you arrive." She hung up the phone, and took off in a wobbly sprint down the edge of the road.

I hadn't noticed until I tried to chase after her, but my hand was tightly clutching Josiah's. He stopped me from moving from my place.

I looked up at him, questioning him silently. I think he wanted to talk.

I figured I'd start the conversation. "What happened?" I tried that question again since the first time it went unanswered.

"A deer."

It was such a sudden simple answer, it took a moment to register with me.

"Oh, he hit a deer..." I said, trying to picture it.

"No, he swerved to miss one." Josiah corrected.
"The Jeep fell off the road and flipped three times."

I didn't want to ask the question out loud, it felt weird to say the words, even in my head. Thankfully, Josiah read my mind.

"Baylor's head hit the steering wheel, he died instantly."

That explains all the blood in his hair... I can't believe I can talk about Baylor's death so coolly, I should have cut my feelings off from the moment I entered this cruel world.

"We should go after Harley now before we lose her." I suggested.

"She doesn't get very far." He said, taking my hand. We were in the woods in seconds, right behind Harley.

We showed up just in time to witness the face plant, the one that ended the memory last time I lived it. This time, I was obviously in third person point of view.

She didn't make any effort to get up from the ground, in fact, I thought the fall had knocked her out until a sob escaped her body, followed by even louder crying. I watched as she balled up in a ball as she usually does when she feels uncomfortable. Sadly, Baylor won't come running to comfort her this time, or ever again.

Her hair fell over her face, sticking to her wet cheeks. She didn't seem to mind though; her crying continued.

I can't even imagine how she feels, I don't want to try in fear of my own feelings returning. I don't want to deal with the heartbreak twice. I think my ghost body is done with it. Done with the sadness and pain, done with these memories. The sooner I move on the better.

Josiah hugged me close as we watched her calm down. We both sat on a fallen tree. We heard the ambulance go back by earlier, though it's sirens were off. It held what was left of my brother's body no doubt. Who knows what they'll do with him...what will they do with me, that is if I'm ever found...

Suddenly, I jumped to my feet, realizing I missed something major. I think my sudden outburst startled Josiah, and for some reason it made him frown more.

For a second, his concentration was still on the sobbing girl, but then he gave his attention to me.

"Josiah, I'm dead!" I said. I knew a smile of all things had covered my face. It didn't feel right, but I didn't care.

He didn't speak, he just stared. "And Baylor's dead too!"

His silence was really starting to frustrate me. I was really excited and he was killing my vibe.

"So that means Baylor is here! Right?!"

Finally, a sigh escaped his tight lips. "No, you're wrong." He said.

My jumps for joy came to a quick halt. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean he isn't here."

I sat back down next to him, trying to figure it out. "Well why not?"

"It's....complicated."

Well of course it is, everything is. "Explain it to me." I demanded. I didn't have time for him to beat around the bush.

"Baylor isn't here-" he paused mid sentence to sort out the information he wanted to tell me, which probably isn't nearly enough. "Remember when I told you that you had two options?"

I thought back through all the conversations we had had. Two options? When did we discuss that? Oh yes, the dark place was one of them...

"Right." Josiah answered my mental question. "Well, that one wasn't an option for Baylor."

I thought about that for a moment. Baylor didn't have the option to go to the dark place? I guess that's a good thing...

"It is a good thing." Josiah said. I noticed his face had lightened up. Talking about Baylor made him smile.

"Well why do I have that option?" I asked.

Josiah was looking off into the dark woods. "We'll talk about it later, Harley just started running again."

I hadn't noticed her leave, but an empty pile of leaves indicated that she had.

We both headed off into the darkness with her.